Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

Hopefully, the day you are reading this is a wonderful day! I think, for most of us, if we look back over our lives, there are many more good days than bad. However, if today is not such a good day, remember, tomorrow the page of life will turn.

Life is full of twists and turns, and by the time we reach our 60s, we become accustomed to the highs and lows. Although we would rather life was always good, it is often the lower points that we learn so much from, and make the good ones seem so much better.

It’s OK

Give yourself permission to feel sad, upset, angry. These are natural emotions we all experience from time to time. It’s ok. But don’t let them drag on indefinitely or allow yourself to wallow. These emotions sap your energy, can affect your sleep and appetite, and may lead to long term health problems. Look for solutions, reframe the situation, forgive the person who has hurt you and move forward.

I like to keep a little set of drawers in my mind. One for little things that worry or upset me, one for middle size things and a final one for the really big stuff in my life. Most of the time I keep them locked, but sometimes I open them and take a peek inside. Maybe I have a little cry or feel sad for a short while, but opening the drawer takes the pressure off, just the same as the lid on a pressure cooker. That way they don’t boil over.

History

I find going to historical places – when I have problems or something I want to think over – really cathartic. It reminds me of how short our time is on this earth and that, eventually, all things will pass. Wars, plagues, famines, floods, dictatorships, etc. eventually end, and even when we don’t think it is possible, life gets back to an even keel.

Think back over your own life history. Most of the things you worried about or made you sad passed by, and here you still are. Possibly a little bruised and battered but probably stronger, braver and wiser than before.

Look for Loveliness

Look for little nuggets of loveliness even if things are not as you want them to be. Take a walk in the fresh air, listen to some music, immerse yourself in nature, cook something special. Often, we are kind and supportive of others but forget to be kind and supportive of ourselves. We all need a little hug now and then, so remember – you are the person closest to you. Give yourself a hug.

Do whatever you can to uplift yourself. Put on your favourite dress, slap on some make-up, wear your favourite perfume. Surround yourself with friends or positive people, some of it will rub off on you. Ramp up the music and sing at the top of your voice, or dance around the kitchen. It really is possible to trick your brain into believing you are happy. Then your body releases endorphins, and you actually become happy.

Remember, It Will Pass

So, if today is not one of your happy days, remember it will be a new day tomorrow. I know not everything is resolved in one day, but, even on the really big stuff in our lives, each day makes us a little stronger. One step at a time is all you can take and, hopefully before long, you will be running again and who knows, you might go on to complete a marathon!

Also read, Put Your Glad Rags On .

Join the Conversation:

What has been your greatest page turn? How do you care for yourself when life gets tough? Have you learned to reframe situations?

In Part One, I highlighted three long books. Here, there is only one, but an important book, Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution. If you have a serious reader friend, take up this book together and discuss the sections. There is so much to learn about the author’s take on how women became who we are via evolution. Bohannon’s writing is colloquial, her footnotes are often funny, and we don’t have to spend even a minute going through the extensive bibliography.

I met a new, important author: W.G. Sebald. He writes about Germany, pre- and post-WWII. His books are short, with a different style of writing. Be adventurous, read an older book treasure.

The King at the Edge of the World by Arthur Phillips (Random House 2020)

This is a good book for lovers of historical fiction. Set at the end of Elizabeth I’s reign in England and Scotland (the Edge of the World), the protagonist is a doctor from the Ottoman Empire sent with a delegation to learn about the strange red-haired queen and her strange country. After six months, he is abandoned by his compatriots and left to fend for himself.

He does well because he is a skilled scientist. Eventually, the doctor becomes trusted enough to infiltrate the Court of the Scottish king, James VI (later James I of England) and must determine if James is a true Protestant or a closeted Catholic. Tangled webs are woven. Enjoyable.

The Hypocrite by Jo Hamya (Pantheon Books 2024)

There’s no one to root for in this father/daughter entanglement. Even the ex-wife/mother disparages both. I could not get engrossed in the plot.

There are two settings. First is the summer that the father and daughter spend in Sicily when she is a teenager serving as typist while her father dictates his latest novel. Hard work is made harder by her father’s lack of empathy.

Second is a small theater in New York where the daughter’s first play is premiering. Of course, it’s about her father and the summer, focusing most on the father’s long sex scenes in the bedroom adjoining the daughter’s. He always assumed the daughter was fast asleep. There is little love lost here; both may be hypocrites, but the father is an idiot.

Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution by Cat Bohannon, (Knopf 2023)

Don’t be turned off by the 624-page count – 1/3 of that is notes, bibliography, and index. Eve is written like a scholarly text, but it is interesting, colloquial, and fun. OK, Bohannon drags on a bit at times, but you can skip ahead at your own risk. And don’t skip the footnotes. They are full of great bits of information and often funny.

This is a take at the presumed evolutionary biology of the female body – from the first chest-feeding rat-like critters to us. You learn lots about mammalian behavior, how we became upright, how women developed wide hips (thanks for that one), and the power of nurture.

I did not enjoy the end of the book which tried to rationalize why if women are the key to success of our species, we are so often mistreated (consciously and unconsciously) by the male of our species. I did learn from Dr. Bohannon’s distinction between sex and gender. This is a book you can easily read a section at a time, read another book, return to Eve. You will benefit from having a fellow reader with whom to discuss the material.

A History of the World in Twelve Shipwrecks by David Gibbins (St. Martin’s Press, 2024)

History wonks will enjoy this book. From the 2^nd millennium BCE to WWII, Gibbons shows how archeologically exploring shipwrecks expands the known history of the world at the time of the wreck. This is especially true regarding the extent of trade. We underestimated the ability of our ancestors to build ships capable of sailing to the most distant locations in search of metal, grain, wool, cotton, and slaves. There may be no written history, but you can’t deny the objects preserved below the water.

This book cries out for maps and there is not one. I read it with the atlas at my side. It needs more and better illustrations. Gibbins often spends several sentences describing a painting of a ship in such and such museum but does not show the painting. The pictures included are meagre in relation to the amount of information in the book. Still, I enjoyed the book and often found it difficult to put down. (I’m a history wonk.)

Austerlitz by W. G. Sebald, (Random House 2001)

Not a book for the faint-hearted reader, but a stimulating read because of the manner of writing. Be sure to get the version with the forward by James Wood who describes how Sebald writes.

There are no chapters. There are seldom paragraphs. The writing is in the twice removed third person, “he said that he said …” of the narrator. It’s translated from German, but I didn’t feel that bore on the story or the style.

The story is about a survivor of Kindertransport at the beginning of WWII. This child, Jacques Austerlitz, is sent to Wales from Czechoslovakia, and his former life disappears. We meet Austerlitz through the retelling of his life story by a friend Austerlitz randomly meets.

Sprinkled throughout are amateur photographs (fictional) that illustrate a bit of something or a bit of nothing. They added to the lost, sad tone of the story. Though this sounds dreary, the writing and the book are fascinating. Give it a try.

The Emigrants by W. G. Sebald

Originally published in German in 1992 – English translation, New Directions Press, 1997

As melancholy as Austerlitz but written in a different style. There are four essays about family and acquaintances of the storyteller – all emigrants. They left Germany for England or the United States due to the pressure built up on German Jews. But there is no flaunting of Jewishness. These are our neighbors, our cousins, our friends. The stories are told simply. Illustrations are unposed snap shots taken in the 20s and 30s. A much easier read than Austerlitz and more engaging.

Let’s Talk Books:

What is your latest read? Do you prefer longer or shorter books? Do you read books from the same author? Which non-fiction genre is your favorite?

Interesting question and definitely something to think about if you have a dog and are considering downsizing, as many baby boomers are today. Condo living is easy. No question about it. There is definitely less to take care of than with a house.

When you leave, just lock the door and go. Everything outside the drywall is taken care of by the condo association.

Sounds good, right? It is good for many people, and it may be for you.

But if you have pets, there are some things to consider before jumping in.

Does the Condo Allow Pets

First, does the condo allow pets? Is it a pet-friendly condo?

If they do accept pets, do they have a weight limit? Do they have breed restrictions? Is there a maximum number of pets that are allowed?

I don’t mean to throw questions at you, but if you’re a dog lover, these are important questions.

If a condo accepts dogs up to 20 pounds and you have a Golden Retriever, you have a problem. Or if they accept one pet and you have two, you may also have a problem.

Rules and Regulations

If you’re like me and pets are part of your family – yes, they are – you must find out the rules and regulations governing the condo you’re interested in.

And, please, find them out before you fall in love and buy the condo!

I can only speak for myself, but I know if my dogs are not welcome, then I’m not going. But, hey, that’s me!

Do They Have Other Restrictions

Does the condo require you to vaccinate your dogs? Many condominium buildings do.

Not everyone believes in vaccinating their dogs today. Rabies is required by law in many states, but I’m talking about other yearly vaccinations.

Some people titer their pets. They do a blood test to determine if your dog still has antibodies to previous vaccines. If they do, nothing more is required. If they do not, your pet will receive the appropriate vaccine. This is fine, but will it work with the condo association?

Is your dog a barker? Occasional barking is one thing, but if your dog has separation anxiety or is just a barker, condo living may not be a good fit for you. Neighbors may complain, and you don’t want to have your dog deemed a nuisance, as many of the condominium documents address just this issue.

Your neighbors are entitled to peace and quiet in their homes. If you have a barker, you may want to consider a townhouse, villa or single-family home to head off any potential issues.

Is It a Pet-Friendly Community

How about walking your dog? Are there grassy areas nearby? Does the condo association supply dog bags? Will your dog be allowed to walk on the elevator, or will you be required to carry him/her?

Are dogs allowed to go out through the lobby, or must they use an alternative exit/entrance such as the garage or side-door exit?

You and your furry friend may be fine with the condo’s rules, but please make sure you know them before you buy.

Condos have more rules and regulations than townhouses or houses, but many people love living there with their pets.

The key is to find a condo that is pet-friendly; one that will welcome both you and your furry friend. You don’t want to get funny looks from the neighbors or to feel you and your friend aren’t welcome, even though you were able to get them in.

Dog Walking Is a Social Activity for the 55+ Crowd

Walking a dog is great for you and great for your dogs. Not only is it good exercise, but it’s a social activity for the 55-plus crowd. It gets you up, out of bed, and you meet fellow dog walkers and their dogs. It’s a social activity.

Most people know the dog’s names long before they know the owner’s names! It’s physical activity for both of you and it can be social, as well. It’s a win-win for baby boomers. So if you’re a pet lover, dog walking is a perfect way to get your daily steps and make a friend or two.

But please, if you’re planning to buy a condo with a dog, check all your facts first. If you’d like to have a conversation or you need help, let’s talk about it!!!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have pets? Have you moved with your pets? What rules and regulations have you stumbled upon in condos? Did they sound reasonable at the time and have you changed your mind since?

But don’t forget to break them in!

Seats are going fast.