Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

Hello, Dear Readers! Allow me to introduce myself. I am a newbie to this blogging world, and I’m thrilled (and slightly terrified) to be here. As I approach my 60th birthday, I find myself feeling a bit clueless after retiring from teaching elementary school for more than 30 years.

I look at young people with a mix of fright and disdain, wondering how they can be so confident in their youth. Just when I thought I’d be older and wiser, I’m finding myself a bit irrelevant and treated to all kinds of hidden and not-so-hidden ageism. But hey, at least it’s giving me plenty to write about!

Just When I Thought I Knew Something

Ah, the joys of aging. The irony of feeling perpetually young inside our heads while the rest of the world seems hell-bent on reminding us of our “maturity.” In a youth-obsessed culture, it’s almost a rite of passage to hit those moments where you realize, “Well, I guess I’m officially old now.” My dear friend and I discussed this at length on our podcast, and I decided to share 11 of the most surprising and slightly horrifying indicators that we have, indeed, crossed over to the “elderly” side of life.

#1: Tiny Print and Reading Glasses: The Struggle Is Real

It all started innocuously enough with a trip to the eye doctor. The technician handed me a reading test card with microscopic print on it. “Well, this is new,” I thought. “What’s it for?” “Read it,” she stated simply. I squinted and tried to hold it at arm’s length. She kind of swatted at my arm, forcing me to read it closer to my face.

I finally admitted defeat. “Do I really need reading glasses?” I asked, the denial thick in my voice. She just smiled that knowing smile. That’s when it hit me: I had crossed a threshold based on my birthdate. Reading glasses are now my reality. Go away, tiny print.

#2: The Dreaded Colonoscopy Appointment

Speaking of thresholds, nothing says “welcome to the golden years” quite like scheduling your first colonoscopy. The indignity of it all! I remember when my doctor first suggested it. I nearly choked on my coffee. “A colonoscopy? Really?” It’s one of those moments that makes you want to shout, “Let me off this ride!”

But instead, you quietly schedule the appointment and hope for the best. (All kidding aside, get checked people! It’s important and almost as easy as getting your teeth cleaned. Well… except for the “pre-cleansing” part.)

#3: Other Health Invasions

Calling the nurse line for a random symptom is another adventure in aging. They asked me if my husband noticed that I was having any memory problems. My response? “Why would you ask him? He’s the one with the memory issues!” That got a good laugh, but still, it was a sobering moment. Dementia? Already?

The relentless pursuit of good health brings its own set of challenges. Shingles shots, COVID boosters, and the joy of getting your boobs smashed in a yearly mammogram. I am no longer surprised when doctors find something wrong with me. At least we have chair yoga and Tai Chi, right?

#4: The Perks and Perils of Senior Discounts

You know you’re getting old when you can walk up to certain restaurant counters and proudly claim your senior discount. I’m at an age where I’ll say, “I’m sure you can’t believe I’m old enough!” They just look nervous and smile, half shake and nod their head.

Then you go shopping on Senior Citizen Day, and the cashier gives you the discount without even asking. At first, it stings a little, like, “What a rude move!” But then you realize, “At least I’m saving money.”

#5: I Have a “Grandma” Name

One day, I had a startling realization about names. It seems like all the “Sue’s” of my generation have officially become old ladies. The friends I went to school with – Lisa, Monica, Nancy, and Kim – have names that young mothers today wouldn’t dream of giving their babies.

But my grandmas’ names? Oh, those are back in style. Names like Evelyn, Edith, and Agatha are being recycled. What fresh madness is this? When did my friends and I become relics of a bygone era while names that used to belong to women in orthopedic shoes and floral dresses are now considered chic and trendy for newborns? Ickers.

#6: Shower Strategy and Foot Neglect

Even simple daily routines take on a new level of complexity. Planning out a shower to avoid falling and potentially breaking something? Check. Giving up on doing your toenails yourself because bending over is just too much effort, and, honestly, who’s looking at your feet anyway? Check. These are the moments when you realize your body has become a high-maintenance machine that you’re not entirely sure how to operate anymore.

#7: I Don’t Understand Young People

Nothing highlights the generational gap like watching preteen girls on TikTok and Instagram share their skincare routines. This is a whole new level of absurdity. When did children start worrying about wrinkles?

A few months ago, I was walking around a Target Store, and I overheard a girl who was maybe 11. She was frantically begging her mom to buy her this Regenerating Collagen Peptide Face Moisturizer. That cream was behind a locked glass door. The price: $149.

After that life altering experience, I posted a snarky and apparently unwatchable parody of a makeup tutorial on YouTube as part of my podcast. It is about using Crayola Markers to help aging women on a budget to apply makeup in a whole new way. I was a teacher and have lots of leftover markers. I thought it was funny, okay? It got seven views. SEVEN!

Here it is, if you want to see it: Marker Make-up.

Meanwhile, a tweenager named Daya with luminescent perfect skin, is nearing 2 million subscribers sharing her beauty tips. I’m not jealous of her; I am just confused.

#8: Fashion Faux Pas

Remember when you cared about fashion? Yeah, me neither. These days, it’s all about comfort. High heels and tight clothes are a distant memory, replaced by elastic pants and slip-on tennis shoes. And when you’re at the age where you just don’t care about societal norms, you rock that look with pride. “Hey millennials, don’t tell me to put my crew socks back on. I’ll wear whatever stinking socks I want!”

But when my sons got married, I wanted to dress like a queen, but I faced one of the biggest indignities of all. As I shopped for dresses online, I noticed that all the models for these classy garments were 20-year-old girls. Sigh.

While I am on this topic of fashion blunders, I need to say something: cutting bangs is not a mistake for everyone. Bangs are cheap cosmetic surgery for your forehead. Hire a professional to cut them, and your life will be better for it.

#9: Nightly Bathroom Trips

A good night’s sleep is a thing of the past. If I only get up twice to use the bathroom, it’s a small victory. My doctor says I’m supposed to drink water all day long, and lots of it because kidney stones aren’t funny. I’ve had them twice, and the main advice you get is, “drink more water!”

I think I will write an article for you about those little suckers. I will find the humor somehow. But for now, I will keep making my nightly trips to the bathroom.

#10: Pap Smears and Birth Control: The Silver Lining

One surprising perk of aging for women is no longer needing to worry about pap smears or birth control. There’s a certain freedom that comes with knowing your childbearing days are firmly in the past. No more monthly “fun” toiletries or the panic of a missed period.

Getting pregnant at this age would be nothing short of a miracle – or a plot twist in a daytime soap opera. Pap smears? The doctors are like, “No thanks, we don’t need to check anymore.” It’s a strange, almost liberating feeling to be told you can retire from those health checks.

#11: The Final Straw: Peanut Butter Jar Injuries

The ultimate indignity? Hurting yourself doing mundane tasks like… sleeping. A comic strip my brother sent me perfectly captured this: a young guy broke his arm from a fall off his house, a middle-aged guy got the same injury by slipping on grass, and an older man by trying to open a peanut butter jar. It’s funny because it’s true.

As we age, we adapt. We find humor in the absurdities and embrace the inevitable changes with as much grace as we can muster. So, here’s to the senior discounts, the orthotics, and the daily reminders that aging is both a challenge and a privilege. And to those young whippersnappers on YouTube, just wait. Your time will come.

Go ahead, call me “ma’am.” I’ve earned it.

Please Join the Conversation:

What are you happy to be rid of now that you’re past 60? What new challenges are you facing? Are you trying to find the humor in most life situations? Can you share the last time something age-related happened that you later found funny?

Photo: @melissagorga / Info: @therealmargaretjosephs

Originally posted at: Margaret Josephs’ Mint Ruffle Dress

I’ve been thinking about angels lately. I’ve observed and heard about a consistent few who are always first in line to provide transportation, meals, and other heavenly concoctions to injured and ailing friends. Beyond cosmic cherubs, I’m also referring to those real live people who step forward to take on emotional responsibility for others. These angels don’t sprout wings or have halos. They aren’t showy and don’t need to be the focus of attention. 

Angels Are Often Found in the Helping Professions

More than likely, they’ve been drawn to one of the helping professions – therapist, minister, social worker, non-profit volunteer, or health care professional. A defining angel attribute is their ability to listen – with undivided attention and seemingly without judgment.

These angels often offer good advice for addressing anxiety-invoking issues, so it’s easy for the beneficiaries of this attention to come down with angel addiction. Even the self-sufficient among us, if given half an opportunity, will readily dive into the angel’s amniotic fluid, languishing in their warm, nurturing, healing presence.

A Conversation with a Dear Friend Prompted Me to Contemplate the Topic of Angel Addiction

What prompted this contemplation of angels is a conversation I had recently with a longtime friend. Once a year, Andrea and I make a date to talk. In the early ‘80s our talk fests took place on landlines. AT&T had a monopoly back then, charging around $20 a month for local calls, and between $1.50–$5.00 a month for the telephone rental.

And those telephones! Attached to a wall allowing no mobility for the user. A telephone call and a distracted mother provided the perfect opportunity for my toddler to crawl into the freezer. 

“Sometimes I Feel Like a Trash Can for Other People’s Emotional Refuse”

Our 2024 call occurred this month on the eve of the summer solstice. “I think I’m taking on the emotional baggage of too many people,” she wailed during our conversation. Andrea has a divinity degree and is a retired counselor at a northeast college (the name of which escapes me.) “Is it my age? I’m beginning to wonder if I have the strength to be there for others like I used to.”

Ah, I thought. She is becoming a reluctant angel.

Angels must beware. Supporting others and offering shoulders as crying platforms can lead to torn rotator cuffs and stress fractures. Just because angels appear to be adept at shouldering burdens does not mean they escape the emotional impact of these encounters.

There is a pattern to these encounters: The recipient (1) pushes the panic button, (2) offloads their worries and anxieties onto the angel, (3) feels better, and (4) leaves the angel to clean up the emotional mess and to absorb the anxiety.

Strategies for Setting Boundaries

Do you think you fall into this category? It can feel good to be needed. It feels like an honor to be privy to the intimate details of someone’s life. Until it dawns on you that the honor has morphed into an imposition. It’s at this point that sainthood flirts with martyrdom.

The world needs the angels among us. So, before you reach the point of saturation and burnout try these survival techniques:

(1) Be selective about the people in your life for whom you are willing to shoulder these emotional burdens.

(2) Impose a weight limit on the quantity of debris deposits you are willing to accept.

(3) Going forward, try to invest in relationships that are two-sided. It’s not worth the calorie burn to exist in a one-sided relationship.

I’m skirting around the “B”word – boundaries. Establishing boundaries is tough. It’s like trying to train a dog; hard to be consistent but worth the effort to have a non-barking, non-jumping canine.

Of course, do what I say, not what I do. I’ve been the proud owner of four jumping, biting, barking dogs. But the theory is good. Take care of those shoulders, Angels.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What about you? Do you consider yourself a reluctant angel shouldering the emotional burdens of others? Let me know by commenting here.

Warm sunlight streamed through the window as Abigail unpacked for a weekend visit with her godmother, Sylvi, before embarking on her freshman year of college. Drawn as always to the tranquil back porch that overlooked the garden, the two women, divided by a number of decades, settled comfortably into their favorite chairs. The aroma of freshly brewed tea and Sylvi’s buttery shortbread filled Abigail with a tinge of homesickness already. Soon, she would be thousands of miles away.

“Sylvi, tell me … what was it like for you at the university in the 70s?”

“Wild and exhilarating, Abigail. I was full of eagerness to take in as much as I could, so naturally, I was drawn to a kaleidoscope of ideas, from revolutions in science, astronomy, and psychology to existentialism.”

“Ever the inquisitive mind,” Abigail smiled. “I’m excited about what they have to offer at Earlham.”

“You’ve made an excellent choice,” Sylvi said.

Her goddaughter’s face softened.

“There are many stories from those days, Abigail, but two pivotal realizations reshaped my outlook. Would you care to hear them?

“Oh, I would.”

“Maybe your generation is quicker to catch on, but for me, they weren’t immediately apparent – it took years to understand their scope. Also, when you’re young, you’re easily influenced, though you’d swear otherwise.”

Abigail laughed.

“The first is that intelligence and discernment go hand-in-hand,” Sylvi said.

“Discernment?”

“It’s not enough to be smart. You need to recognize subtleties, to have wisdom and insight when evaluating situations.”

“By observing how things fit together?”

“That’s right, and by opening your awareness.”

“I can see how both are necessary, Sylvi … and the second?”

“The second is that some of the concepts in play at school had the effect of diminishing me rather than expanding my understanding of myself.”

“How so?” Abigail was curious. She hadn’t heard these pieces of wisdom from her parents or anybody else.

“Traditionally, academic thought positioned humans as a relatively minor presence within the vast and indifferent expanse of the cosmos – a fleeting shadow in boundless space – which unsettled me. That view was the norm then and perhaps still is?”

“I’ve come across it quite a bit, actually,” Abigail confirmed.

“Imagine,” continued Sylvi, “believing you’re a little nothing in this massive universe, that you don’t matter, that nobody cares – both humbling and terrifying. And, to be honest, it left me confused and painfully alone, even though I knew I wasn’t the only one who had this response.”

“People my age are unsure what to think,” Abigail remarked as she sipped her tea.

“But there was one saving grace in those early days.”

“Which was?” Abigail came back quickly.

“Music.”

“Ah … ”

“I was particularly drawn to Beethoven whose music spoke directly to my soul. His determination to dedicate himself wholly to his genius at great personal sacrifice and in spite of his deafness … the sublime music that came out of this epic struggle … This was his selfless gift to mankind. Whenever I listened to the Third Movement of the Ninth Symphony, hope returned. I felt immense gratitude to him ….”

Abigail was stirred by her godmother’s visible emotion.

“Abigail, this is the transformative power of art.”

They paused for a moment to follow the sound of Canadian geese, flying high above them, on their way south.

“Do you believe that Beauty can save the world, Sylvi?” Abigail wanted to know.

“Yes, I do, Abigail … the beauty of music saved me from slipping into despair.”

She went on, “And then weeks before graduating, I fell in love.”

“You were twenty-one?” Abigail asked.

“Yes, and that’s when everything changed dramatically. Those years of college philosophizing about separateness and smallness were overshadowed by lived experience. Falling in love is euphoric, magical … the intimacy touches every aspect of your being.”

“I can imagine how amazing it must be to feel so connected to someone.”

Sylvi’s calico cat sauntered over and stretched herself out between them with a contented purr.

“At the same time, the growing bond with the natural world that had long been a part of my life began to develop more profoundly, and nature became my sanctuary, my temple of healing when things did go wrong, which they do for everyone at one point or another.”

“That’s true,” nodded Abigail.

“My ecology studies had only underlined what I was already internalizing hiking in Jedediah, Yosemite, along the Lost Coast, every chance I could get, which was that organisms and their environments are interconnected in a complex web of relationships that include you, me, and every one of us. Fundamentally, we are always allied to all there is.”

“I felt a hint of that on our camping trips, Sylvi, but I couldn’t find words,” the younger woman revealed.

“Did you? Oh, that’s wonderful to hear.” They looked at each other tenderly, resting in that thought for a moment.

“So, the notion of me being a tiny dot? Well, it no longer held sway, and I gradually began to trust my own observations and intuition. I began to trust the life process.”

“Trust,” echoed Abigail. “I’m working on that.”

“It’s ongoing, Abigail. Your heart will guide you,” reassured Sylvi.

Drawn by a quiet rustle, they watched rabbits feeding on seeds left behind from the late summer harvest.

“Come to think of it – I’d forgotten about this – my college roommate unwittingly helped me, too … shall I continue?”

“Please do, Sylvi. I find this conversation really interesting. Your college roommate?” Abigail was curious.

“She loved old movies, and happy endings. Little House on the Prairie, programs like that. One December evening, before going home for our winter break, she invited me to watch It’s A Wonderful Life with James Stewart and Donna Reed – you’ve seen it, I’m sure.”

“As a kid. I vaguely remember the story, but go on.”

“George Bailey’s metamorphosis struck a chord. Feeling trapped in his provincial life, he contemplated ending it all. However, an angel named Clarence intervened, guiding George through his hometown on Christmas Eve and revealing a world where George never existed. Through several shocking encounters, George understood the real significance of his life and how his acts of kindness, generosity, and selflessness had enriched his community.”

“One person inspiring a ripple effect of goodness…” said Abigail looking out beyond the trees.

“Illuminated by the brilliance of Frank Capra’s direction … After pondering this truth for days afterward, my existential angst lifted.”

“I need to see that film again,” she whispered to herself.

“Likewise, you, Abigail, are important and loved, and you matter – never let anyone convince you into believing otherwise.”

A look of deep affection passed between them.

“Fully comprehending this will be your anchor when people criticize or belittle you. And there will be those attempts … Let this belief – this knowing – help you rise above uncertainty. And trust. Most of all, Abigail, learn to trust.”

Thank you for reading!

Viktoria sends out a monthly inspirational poem to a community of close friends. Should you wish to receive it, please email her at viktoriavidali@gmail.com.

If you like to read short stories, check out SHORT STORY: A MOTHER’S DUTY.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is there a young woman in your life who you have influenced in a positive way? What about a young man? In what ways have your education years changed your way of thinking? Do you still remember that time? How can your wisdom benefit the younger generation?

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Originally posted at: Taleen Marie’s Crop Denim Jacket & Jeans