Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

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Photo: @alexiae_says

Originally posted at: Alexia Echevarria’s Black Embellished Jeans

As a woman over 60, how do you feel about wearing makeup? Does it give you a lift and you wear it everyday, and wouldn’t dream of going out the front door without it? Or perhaps you just wear it for special occasions like parties, weddings, going out to dinner, etc.? Or maybe you never wear make up any more (or never did)? Perhaps you can’t be bothered, or feel it doesn’t look right on older skin?

Skincare

Most women over 60 I speak to think skincare is more important and would rather put their money and time into keeping their skin hydrated and looking as good as it can be. I can still recall my teenage years of putting Ambre Solaire oil all over my body, and basking in the sun until I fried! 

Now, of course, I am much more careful and recently found a sunscreen that really works for me. It’s a bit expensive to buy, but I bought it at the airport and, so far, it has lasted me six months of travel in hot countries, without even a red face.

I also use a retinol cream I buy in Spain. I don’t think it is available over the counter in the UK. Other than that, it’s good old-fashioned Nivea. 🙂

Foundations 

Oh, my goodness, does anyone else remember Pan Stick? It was a stick of foundation in a thick block. You twiddled the knob and up would pop a claggy lump. I would like to say it glided beautifully over my skin, but even with the gorgeous fresh skin of youth, I know it clumped together, a little bit like a weak cement mixture!

Now I give foundations a wide berth. They only fill my wrinkles up anyway (no wonder I used to use so much!) and then crack when I smile. I think I will stick with just a tiny bit of concealer, if I bother at all.

Have you found one that you like? Or maybe you are one of the lucky (un-fried) ones who have perfect porcelain skin!

Mascara

Being a blonde (ok a greyish blonde!) my eyelashes need a little something or they just disappear. Thankfully, they are still reasonably thick and quite long, so a smidgen of mascara goes a long way.

How many of you can remember sticking false eyelashes on (mine often looked a little like dead spiders at the end of the night!). What were we thinking of? Now, young people seem to be wearing eyelashes so thick they can barely open their eyes! How do they see where they are going? I’ve got enough trouble with my eyesight as it is, thanks!

Lipstick

How I used to love lipstick! The brighter the better! But that was when I had plump, luscious lips. Where did they go? Now they seem to have shrunk to half the width and instead of thick bow-shaped voluptuous lips, I have two thin straight lines that seem to droop down at the edges, rather than smile upwards.

For me, the only thing they get is a nude lip gloss (on high days and holidays) but mostly vaseline!

A Little Rouge?

I have recently been introduced to something I think we used to call rouge, but now seems to be called bronzer. It is amazing! I use the teeny-tiniest amount, and it completely transforms my face. It is so fine it doesn’t even go in my wrinkles, just gives me a lovely holiday glow.

I haven’t told anyone I use it, but every time I do, someone says to me, “You look well.” 

I’ll take that. 🙂

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep

But, you know, the real beauty is the one inside us. I know it’s a bit of a cliche, but I think it’s true. If you look at photos of really old people, not spring chickens like us, you can see so much beauty and radiance in their faces. It’s as if their wisdom, experiences and love shine through, and the best bit is, us, young ones, have still got all that to come!

For now, think about what is in your heart and your soul. If what you find in there is beautiful, then so are you. Your skin may never have that dewy look of youth again, your eyelashes may be a bit sparse, you may be lucky enough to have those lost hairs on your eyebrows not sprout on your chin, but you are gorgeous just the way you are. It’s as simple as that!

Let’s Start a Conversation:

How do you feel about make up? Does it change how you feel when you have it on? Is make up best left for young skin?

A common misconception amongst people, especially those of us approaching the last third of our lives, is that aloneness equals loneliness. Well, I’m here to debunk this tale; to set it to restful peace. 

There have been numerous periods, starting in my 20s (after wasband number one), when I lived alone for 10 years. The second time was after wasband number two. There was a four-year gap between that relationship and the last of the wasbands, number three. Since then, and for the first time in my life, I’ve been without a significant other, without a casual relationship. It has been 13 years, and I haven’t been happier, ever. 

Here’s why:

Self-Reflection

I found love within. It took a lifetime of work to dig out my inherent gems, but to find them I had to face my worst enemy: myself. It was easier for me to do that while I was alone. I wasn’t entirely alone as I was raising my son. But, for the past four years, I’ve been an empty nester. That gave me pause to review my influence as a mother to my son and as a former wife, friend, and partner to a few. I reflected on my relationships with my deceased parents and brother. 

Taking Responsibility

Admitting the wrongs one has engendered towards others is one thing. Forgiving oneself is another. It all comes down to one act: responsibility. If we don’t take responsibility for every action – positive and negative, neutral or colored, we will forever remain hooked to the notion that someone else wronged us.

Thinking that way creates a feeling of loneliness when we blame someone else. That may sound counterintuitive. However, it’s not. Being a victim of one’s emotions continues the round-robin game of finger-pointing, avoiding responsibility.

Turning a Page

To turn the page of your thinking requires taking risks. It requires belief in and adherence to taking responsibility, no matter what the outcome. I can’t put my finger on the exact moment I felt liberated, but I remember the process.

I diligently recalled all episodes and incidents of wrongdoing towards me and others. I wrote them all down. Can you imagine how many pages that turned out to be? More than 120! I played role reversal. I put myself in the shoes of those who hurt me mercilessly. I imagined myself in their hearts and minds like a remote viewer. Wow, what an eye-opening experience that was!

Suddenly, I could see life from their perspective, and I was as far away from them as could be emotionally, mentally, and physically. When I let down my guard and cried my kishkas out for guts, I felt cleansed and ready to restart my life without blame, with faith. It is not of the religious kind; it is more of a belief in myself. I wouldn’t let myself down ever again by sacrificing my values. 

Yet the people around us test and put our values into motion, if not every day, then occasionally. To resolve this, we need more than our good intentions. We need to be conscious of our new resolve and take immediate action. 

How Do You Put Resolve into Action? 

When you feel your body and pay attention to its signals, you will immediately become aware of what feels “right” or “weird.” When you feel strange, it will manifest itself as discomfort somewhere. It could be in your tummy or throat, causing you to gulp hard and be unable to speak. It could be in your head or heart. 

When you follow these instructions, you will stop yourself from having knee-jerk reactions. That will allow you to be objective and see yourself clearly. Once you do that, the same compassion applied to others will be used to yourself, by you – your own best friend.

That, my friend, is the crux of the biscuit. Keep your values intact, and you will not be lonely. No one can take your values away from you except yourself. 

Also read, IS IT POSSIBLE TO TURN LONELINESS INTO SOLITUDE?

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you often feel lonely? Have you considered the reasons for your loneliness? Do you feel lonely because you need someone to validate you or someone to keep you company?

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Photo: @suttonstracke

Originally posted at: Sutton Stracke’s Floral Lace Blouse