Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

Click Here for Her Dress in Black / Click Here for Her Dress in White

Originally posted at: Ariana Madix’s Green Printed Silk Midi Dress

Women get a bad rap as they age. It had nothing to do with you, your worth, or your beauty. Aged beauty is still beauty! It is all about society and the unrealistic expectations it has for any woman. But especially aging women.

The thing is, this toxic culture is changing. It’s evolving.

Women over 50, 60 and beyond are learning that it’s not about trying to be 29 again. Who wants that anyway? It’s about embracing where we are right now. So stop trying to look “young.” Look youthful! And there are so many ways you can begin your journey towards embracing every curve, every laugh line, and every example of your amazing story that shows on your face and body.

Make It Up

You knew I was going to say it: makeup. Take some time to follow some amazing bloggers for older women (like Margaret here at Sixty and Me!) to learn some new techniques and products that work better for changing skin. Getting the right brushes and updating the way you apply your makeup can go a long way to brightening your face and flattering your beautiful features!

And if you don’t wear makeup? Then make sure your skin is healthy and glowing! And while you’re at it? Why not try a new hairstyle and color as well?

Health Matters

Ok, here’s the thing. Your health isn’t just about mammograms and arthritis. (Though those are important too!) Everything that makes up how you feel is about your health. If you are in pain, that shows to the world. Make it a priority to see a doctor about pain relief.

If you are depressed or anxious, that dims the bright light within. Talk to a therapist, or talk to a doctor to consider modern medications to help you manage your mental health. Don’t let old stigmas prevent you from finding your joy again. 

Smile More!

Nope, I’m not trying to push stereotypes on you. What I mean is that your smile tells the world a lot about your confidence and your self-esteem. Greying or yellowing teeth don’t look healthy, so they don’t look youthful. So take some time to visit a dentist, talk about whitening and look into any procedures you need to have done. Veneers, implants and other cosmetic procedures are available, too. Be sure to ask about them; their affordability might surprise you!

Stand Up to the World

I’m not talking about public speaking or becoming an activist. (Although, not a bad idea!) I’m talking about your posture. Stooping shoulders are really common in older women. Our bones and muscles naturally weaken with age. And some of us deal with back and neck pain. But good posture can help you feel better, look more confident, lift your bustline, and even make you look slimmer!

Jump over to YouTube and search “exercises for posture.” Look around until you find one that feels good to you. If after a month or two you don’t see any improvements, try seeing a physical therapist to help you find the right exercises and stretches for you.

Find Your Confidence

What is it that Coco Chanel said? “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” If you are lacking self-confidence, then it’s really hard to feel youthful, isn’t it? Confidence is the biggest component of beauty. How do you get that? Well, it requires digging in and doing some work. Here are some great confidence-building exercises:

Lift Others Up!

Tell that frazzled mom at the supermarket that she’s doing a great job. Compliment the women walking by with the pretty shoes. Bring soup and fresh baked bread to the neighbor with the flu. 

Listen to How You Speak to Yourself

My motto is, if you wouldn’t say it to a granddaughter, then don’t say it to yourself. Take note when you hear yourself say something like, “You’re old.” You’re fat.” You’re a failure.” “What were you thinking?” It’s time to show yourself some kindness.

Rephrase those judgments from your inner critic to something more positive and loving towards yourself. It takes practice, but if you stick with it, your brain will re-learn to speak to you in a way that lifts you up.

Try Something New!

What could that be? Anything! Take lessons. Open a business. (Yes, you can.) Plan a trip. Every experience where you face your fears builds your confidence and self-esteem.

And if you think it can’t be done? Well, Betty White had a great lesson for us. She said, “I may be a senior, but so what? At least I’m hot.” How can we argue with that?

Let’s Have a Conversation:

At what age did you love yourself the most? Why? Are you looking for ways to be young again – or youthful? What has helped you the most on this journey?

I bought a new throw pillow with the words, “It’s so good to be home.” Because it is. So good. To Be Home.

I bought other decorative pillows, too, but more about that later.

Aging brings many surprises. Sometimes, it’s a slow advance. It creeps up; a twinge, almost imperceptible the first time. Then a creak. We start slowing down to accommodate new aches, encroaching weariness, and shorter energy bursts.

Children leave to go to college, travel, marry. Suddenly, there’s a lot of extra space in a home that was once filled with the sounds of family. Now, it’s quiet. Empty.

The Stairs Seem Steeper

But you stay busy, tending to the house, maybe a spouse, distracting yourself until one day – you’re alone. The one who shared this space with you has passed on. The place you called home for all those years now feels too big, too hard, too sad.

The scenario is different for everyone, but often there comes a time when we need to let go of what has passed and move on. I’ve done it so many times that after the 43^rd move, I stopped counting. But one thing never changed. Each place was home. I made certain of it. Whether it was my three daughters and a husband, or just me, I created a sanctuary of safety and peace.

Final Move? Perhaps – And I’m Making the Most of It

At 74, I’m doing it again. I tell myself this is it, this is the last time. And this time it’s for the older, solitary me. This time, it’s a creation of everything that gives me the most joy…

Light in abundance through many windows.

A color scheme of whites, creams, and grays with black and pops of color.

The Muramasa Kudo poster, Rain

A loft bedroom-slash-sitting room with a fireplace.

The dining, kitchen, and living room open and flowing together.

An oversized, cushy, L-shaped couch for long, comfy, conversations.

I could go on and on. But the point is, I’ve created a space that I love to be in. It’s tiny, only 800 square feet, but it has everything I need and want. It’s a low-maintenance, happy place.

Accessorizing Is My Playtime

I’m in the process, now, of adding the final touches which means accessorizing. I enjoy the entire design process from drawing building plans to choosing paint colors. 

But when the major decisions have been made, and the big pieces have come together, accessorizing is total Sherry’s playtime. 

My loft will soon have a dark gray, industrial-grade carpet and a black, metal daybed. When I found the It’s-so-good-to-be-home pillow, I was shopping at a Salvation Army Store, specifically looking for fun home accents. An employee pulled up with a cart full of merchandise and I spotted two rectangular pillows in creams and grays.

“Are these for sale?” I asked, trying to restrain myself from grabbing them.

“Sure are,” he said.

“Well, let me take them off your hands!” I crowed delightedly and transferred them to my own cart. There was something special about those pillows. It wasn’t just their color, they had line, and texture, and exquisite craftsmanship. 

When I got them home and took a closer look, I found a green label stitched to the corner of each one with the words: Celerie Kemble. I Googled Celerie Kemble Pillows and discovered that they’re sold by Eastern Accents. Then I gasped. The price tags… $322. $276. $449. WHAT???!!! These weren’t just ANY pillows. These were brand new, high-end designer pillows that I had picked up for 8 dollars and 99 cents each. 

My Pillows Needed a Bedspread

In the ecstasy of this discovery, I texted my sister. “I need to look at your stash of fabrics for a bedcover. Are you busy NOW?!”

Everyone knows that Gwen sews. Over the years, she’s been the beneficiary of yards upon yards of fabrics that are no longer wanted or needed by their original owners. She’s made it clear that I can ‘shop’ her bins anytime I want and use anything I find. All free. 

I hurried over, she lives next door, told her the pillow story, and we dove in. Thirty minutes later, I carried home four possibilities. One had organic taupe lines between black chenille tufts. Another was almost satin-smooth, a greige color. Then there were two that I adored equally, but they were at complete opposite ends of the fabric spectrum.

One was heavy with a large woven herringbone design. The other was semi-transparent embroidered gauze. Both were the identical, delicious cream color that would be the perfect backdrop for my new pillows. But there wasn’t enough of the herringbone to make a bedspread. There was plenty of the gauze but it would be a terrible choice for a daybed that would double as a couch. 

I Stewed, Mulled, Paced… How Could I Incorporate Both Fabrics? 

It came to me in a flash. The heavy cloth would cover the top of the bed. The gauzy cream could be gathered and attached to make a skirt. Magnificent! The two patterns weren’t a typical complement, but the feminine, gathered skirt on the severe geometry of the herringbone would be KNOCKOUT! The outrageously expensive accent pillows would ice the cake. 

Here’s What I’m Saying, My Dear, Elderly, Friends

There may come a time when it’s necessary to leave a home you have loved. Whatever the next step is, a smaller, single-family house, an apartment, or a room, get creative. Make it yours in such a way that whenever you walk through the door you’ll smile in gratitude because: “It’s So Good to Be Home.”

Further read, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO DOWNSIZE YOUR LIFE?

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you facing a transition to a different living situation? What would be on your list of things that bring you joy? Which part of the transition process is the most fun for you? What item(s) in your living space make it “so good to be home”?