Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

From time to time, there is an item in the news concerning old people and driving. One of my favourites concerned the late Duke of Edinburgh who had a car accident when he was in his late 90s. The car he was driving had ended up on its side – and it was reported that he was a bit “shaken up.” As one would be, even if you were much younger.

It started some conversations about old people and driving.

Old People and Cars

This is a serious issue – and one which affects a lot of us these days.

In my case, it was my father. I lived an ocean away from my parents and kept in touch by telephone but went to visit a couple of times a year or more. My dad would always meet me at the airport – driving, of course.

At some point, when he was in his mid-80s and his eyesight was failing, I began to worry for his safety. And that of other people, including myself.

He had always been an excellent driver and never travelled far. Mostly, he drove around his quiet suburban neighbourhood. He lived in a retirement community and often ferried other residents around the area for shopping or other outings.

Not surprisingly, he loved the sense of freedom that owning and driving a car brought.

So, understandably, it was a hard subject to broach.

“Don’t bother to meet me at the airport,” I said breezily a few days before I was due to travel. But he wasn’t fooled.

“You’re worried about my driving,” he replied, “but really, I’m just fine.” I asked him to get his friend, who was a lot younger, to drive him to the airport. Which he did.

Later, I raised the subject again. I stressed that I was worried because of his eyes: there might be a small child in front of the car. Without missing a beat but with a slight smile, he answered, “But there probably won’t be.”

He knew he was beaten and knew that he shouldn’t be driving. But he had loved his car for as long as I could remember – indeed, from before I was born. And now, in his old age, it gave him independence, and he liked the fact that it allowed him to be helpful to others.

Not driving to old people is not only about the car. It is also a symbol of decline and loss of faculties. It tells you that you are on the way down.

My father did decide to stop. Perhaps he was relieved, but he never indicated any such emotion. And at dinner, a number of his friends, who had already been told of my audacity, thanked me. They had tried hints, they had tried reason, but he wouldn’t listen. But they were pleased he listened to me.

A Global Problem

Soon after this happened, I spoke to a friend in Germany who’d had the same problem with her father. Another friend in the UK had it with her mother.

I realised that this was a problem all over the world – how to tell an otherwise independent parent that they should stop driving. You are embarrassed, they are defensive – and it is altogether difficult for everyone.

I wonder how many people as they grow into their 60s and beyond face this issue – with their very elderly parents or with a spouse or, indeed, with themselves.

We love our cars, we love the freedom driving brings, and it can be a real question whether our minor frailties have grown too large for us to cope.

You do need to keep an eye out for yourself and for those around you. You don’t want it to be you ­– or those you love – to be in the newspaper for this reason.

Flowers for Forgiveness

But let me tell you the end of my story. Immediately after that trip from the airport when my dad was not driving for the first time, I found a bowl of flowers on the table in my room.

This was not at all usual and I was taken aback. With them, he had left a note: “With love and forgiveness.” I asked him, of course, what he was forgiving me for. “For telling me not to drive,” he said.

We all do things in our own way. He was a constant surprise.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you think driving is a right or a privilege? Have you had to deal with an elderly relative who needed to stop driving? What techniques worked for you? Do you worry yet about your own driving? Please share your thoughts and concerns below.

Life can get super busy. You lunge
from pillar to post in a matter of minutes, forget appointments, miss food
items from your list at the supermarket, can’t fit in daily exercise, or fail
to call people you promised to call. There aren’t enough hours in a day to do
it all.

In the middle of living a full and
enriching life, you skip some of your health habits – habits that sustain the well-being
of your mind, body, and spirit. Exercising is the easiest health habit to
bury in your busy day.

You’ll get to it later.

Even if you have the best intention
to exercise, when you reach the end of the day the only place you want to be is
on the couch or in bed. You promise to get back to it tomorrow. Skip one day, skip the next.

Honor
Your Daily Exercise Routine

My mother never
missed a day of exercise. She did her routine on the carpeted floor of her
bedroom every day before she entered the kitchen to fix breakfast.

She was fully dressed,
in a suit with heels, false eyelashes in place. Those daily 20 to 30 minutes,
with abs and stretch work, gave my mother a perfect figure.

In today’s world, much of exercise has returned to the living room for a class of yoga, or weightlifting, or cardio. No matter what you do, 30 minutes is sufficient to accomplish your daily exercise routine.

Exercise is the most import thing
you can do for your general welfare – a healthy heart, weight control, a longer
life, and tight skin.

Facial
Exercise Alternative

Doing exercises to strengthen facial muscles is a worthy goal; however, how many of you can sustain a daily practice of exercising the face?

There is an easier way to target sagging; that is, anything that gets your blood pumping, such as hiking, power walking, gentle yoga, swimming, or any type of cardio. Either of these will stimulate collagen and bring blood to the facial surface.

Thus, exercising at least 3 times
a week for 30 minutes at a time can help keep your skin looking firmer and younger.

Increase Collagen
Production

When you exercise, tiny capillaries
in your skin dilate, which moves nutrient-rich blood to the skin. These
nutrients help collagen-producing cells (fibroblasts) to work more efficiently.
And more collagen means plumper skin that resists sagging.

This increased blood flow gives you a rosy glow that lasts all day. Note how your skin plumps up when you take a sauna, either hot or wet. That’s due to your blood moving closer to the surface.

Deep Clean Your
Pores

Over the years, I was devoted to
facials and microdermabrasion. I had expert advice that I never forgot.
Thoroughly cleaning your face twice daily reduces clogged pores.

Impurities like dirt and oil stretch
out your pores over time and drag down the skin, leading to an aged, droopy
look, giving your skin a
less youthful texture and ultimately creating the optical illusion of sagging.

When you exercise, you produce sweat,
and sweat cleans the pores by bringing oil, bacteria, and dirt out onto the skin’s
surface. A deep cleanse of the facial surface will give your skin color and
bounce it back to beauty.

Reduce Stress

It is common knowledge that stress
is physically destructive to your skin. Stress leads to the production of cortisol, a
hormone that blocks collagen production. However, over time, excessive stress can
cause your skin to actually lose its internal structure, thereby negatively
changing the molecular structure.

You can reduce stress and lower cortisol levels with regular exercise. A study published in 2008 by scientists from Michigan State University found that cortisol levels drop by as much as 18.5% after an intense workout.

That means exercising regularly will
not only make you feel more relaxed every day, it will also protect your skin
from premature sagging, thinning, and slacking.

Increase Skin Cell
Regeneration

The importance of sleep to good
health cannot be over-estimated. Exercise and sleep have a dynamic
relationship. The more you exercise, the better you sleep. The benefit
translates into younger-looking skin.

While your body rests at night,
natural healing processes are activated – including regenerating your skin’s natural collagen and
elastin – two molecules that are essential in the fight against gravity. A good
night’s sleep can take years off your appearance.

Detoxification

Detoxification is a buzz word in
beauty circles today. It’s meaning refers to removing toxins out of the skin,
thereby, increasing circulation. This process happens when increased blood
flows to the liver.

The blood carries toxins out of the
skin, thereby eliminating them. Note that increased blood flow to the liver
means your blood will be “cleaned out” faster and fewer
environmental toxins will invade your skin.

Posture Improvement

As much as you love your computers
and tablets, they are the primary reasons that your body spends too much time
slouching and your facial skin sagging. It also compromises your neck muscles
and encourages a rounder back.

Make sure your computer is at the
proper height while you work with a straight back. It’s preferable to sit on a
ball or stand. Most importantly, train yourself through exercise to keep your
head held up and align the neck with the spine.

With almost 50 years working out and
teaching yoga, coupled with a swimming routine, my best recommendations for
improving posture are yoga, Pilates, and dancing.

When I’m pressed for time, I hike or power walk around my neighborhood hills (two miles), swim a half mile at the gym, or practice a half hour of yoga.

You will see the results of your healthy
habits in no time. Adhering to a routine of daily exercise will visibly show on
your tighter face and straighter posture. You will look younger, have more
energy, and be more conscious of your mind, body, and spirit connection.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are your healthy habits? How often do you
do them? What is your routine? Please share with our community!

When I was growing up, my mom always reminded me how important it is to have enough calcium for healthy bones. That might seem odd, but she knew we had a family history of osteoporosis and wanted me to be strong and healthy.

As a non-diagnosed lactose intolerant kid before there were so many dairy alternatives, along with an inability to take big pills, I felt like there wasn’t much I could do to follow these instructions to get enough calcium and build my bones.

As an adult, I have worked for years in Physical Therapy. I started my own fitness coaching programs for women and men over 55 almost 8 years ago. Throughout my career, I have made a conscious effort to learn as much about osteoporosis and bone health as I could since I want to provide my clients with the very best support. I have learned that there is so much more to building bone density including nutrition, lifestyle, and exercises.

With a disease so prevalent, 54 million Americans are affected, it is alarming that there is still some misinformation and lack of education regarding osteoporosis and bone health.

Just a few weeks ago, my husband shared that his coworker was diagnosed with osteoporosis, and she spoke as if it was a death sentence and that she had to stop doing any activity, which is absolutely not true!

Exercise can help to prevent further bone loss, build stability, improve your balance, and keep you strong. Let’s uncover the exercises that can help you to build your bone density and exercises to avoid. 

The Truth About Weight Bearing Exercise

It is possible to build bone density and prevent further deterioration at every stage of life. Weight bearing exercises are important for building bone density. Through the principle of Wolff’s law, our bones will adapt, remodel, and strengthen with more stress placed on them.

Exercises in the water, swimming, and biking are not weight bearing exercises, while they may be helpful for your joints, they will not help to build and prevent bone density loss. Walking and yoga are also not enough exercise to help build your bone density, especially if you are a regular walker.

If you walk regularly, your body is used to the challenge of walking, and therefore, this activity is not enough of a stress or challenge to build bone density. 

Challenge yourself if you are a regular walker by using a weighted vest while walking to improve bone health, be sure to maintain great posture and avoid the tendency to lean forward too far while walking. 

Impact Exercises Can Help to Build Bone Density

If you have healthy joints and have not yet been diagnosed with osteopenia or osteoporosis, you can add some impact exercise to build your bone density. Beyond my mom’s advice for calcium, and if we had known more, adding impact exercise as a kid is a great way to ensure you build bone density, as most of our bone growth peaks in our 30s.

Kids should do martial arts, gymnastics, jump rope, and impact exercises to keep their bones strong. As we age, often we hear about “low impact” exercises which are often helpful for joint issues, but to build bone density we need some impact. Try these exercises if you have healthy joints and are not diagnosed with osteoporosis:

Exercises to Avoid with Osteoporosis or Osteopenia

If you have been diagnosed with osteoporosis, there are some exercises and movements in daily life that you should avoid. Avoid the combination of bending, lifting, and twisting, such as reaching and twisting to pick up a heavy bag of groceries. Instead, turn and face the object, square off, and bend at your hips and knees to pick up safely.

You will also want to avoid crunches as they put too much pressure on the spine. Avoid deep bending or flexion and extension past neutral exercises at the spine, especially under tension, using weight, or for a prolonged period of time. Examples of these are child’s pose in yoga (deep flexion), or sphinx pose (deep extension), these movements can be modified for less stress on your spine. 

Exercises to Build and Maintain Bone Density and Bone Health

Posture and Stability

It is important to build strength in your spinal extensor muscles to maintain good posture and build stability in the spine.

Here are 3 exercises to help build your spinal extensors and protect your spine to help you build stability: 

Strength Training

Strength training exercises are so important to build bone density. Be sure to keep good form and a neutral spine, start slow to ensure good technique, and then gradually increase your weights. Your body needs the challenge to build bone density, lift weights where you can still maintain good form but heavy enough to give you a challenge by the last few repetitions.

Aim for 2-3 strength training workouts a week focusing on the major muscle groups such as glutes, mid back, and quads. When possible, aim for standing exercises with free weights versus seated machines to work your muscles in a more functional pattern and add some dynamic stability.

In this video I show 3 strength training movements that can help you to build bone density: 

Balance

Maintaining good balance is also a critical part of bone health. If you have bones that are brittle, having a fall could cause a fracture. Unfortunately, falls often lead to hospitalizations and can lead to health spiraling downwards.

Balance exercises are more than just standing on one foot or static balance. Balance training includes reaction time training like catching a ball, pickleball, tennis, stepping and agility or quick movements, strength training to build strong muscles and your core, mobility and stretching to maintain flexibility, and static balance, like the ability to stand on one foot.

In this video, I will demonstrate some exercises to help improve your balance:

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is the state of your bones? Have you received a recent diagnosis of osteoporosis? What do you do to keep your bones strong and healthy? Have you heard of exercises to avoid?  

Exploring the world is a timeless joy, regardless of age. For women over 50 who love to travel, having the right wardrobe is essential for a comfortable and stylish journey.

1. TravelSmith Adventure & Travel Convertible Pants – These lightweight travel pants are made with wrinkle-resistant Supplex® nylon for comfort. They feature convertible roll-tab cuffs, an adjustable elastic waist, and ample storage with front and cargo pockets, including a zippered one.
2. Lululemon Softstreme High-Rise Pant – These pants combine comfort and style with their innovative Softstreme fabric. They offer a cozy feel, sleek tailoring, a four-way stretch for unrestricted movement, and a high-rise design for flattering coverage.
3. Everlane The Dream Pant® – The Dream Pant®, blending a tailored appearance with the comfort of sweatpants, features soft double-knit fabric, an elastic waist, pintuck detailing, a sleek tapered leg, and a wrinkle-resistant flat finish. They are a comfortable option for your travel wardrobe.
4. Spanx Stretch Twill Straight Leg Pant – Spanx Stretch Twill Straight Leg Pants redefine classic style with a modern twist, featuring a comfortable and flattering fit in stretchy twill fabric, a timeless straight-leg silhouette suitable for various occasions, and an easy pull-on style.
5. UP! Ponte Slim Cross-stitch Pintouch Ankle Pant – Chic and ideal for travel, these pants combine sophisticated trouser-inspired style with exposed crosshatch front seams. Made with Ponte fabric with a tummy-control elastic waistband, they ensure a body-enhancing, comfortable, and easy-to-wear fit.
6. ATHLETA Trekkie North Jogger – These pants offer 2-way stretch for enhanced mobility, a high-rise fit, and a waistband that has gentle compression. Designed for performance, they are abrasion-resistant, wick away sweat, and dry quickly, with a UPF 50+ rating for excellent sun protection.
7. REI Co-op Sahara Convertible Pants – Made with stretch recycled nylon, these versatile travel-ready pants feature a durable water-repellent coating for moisture resistance and quick drying. They offer thigh zippers that easily transform into shorts. They also have UPF 50+ protection and an elastic back waistband for extra comfort.
8. Chico’s Travelers No Tummy Pants – Chico’s renowned No Tummy Pants, cherished for their unmatched comfort, are a chic essential with front darts for a polished appearance and a pull-on elastic waist, embodying easy-chic style. These pants have a timeless straight-leg silhouette and wrinkle-resistant, travel-perfect fabric.
9. Anatomie Skyler Travel Pant – Meticulously tailored in ultra-light stretch fabric, these bestselling travel pants offer a slim-fit, mid-rise design with a slim leg and full length. Conveniently made with wrinkle-resistant fabric, these travel essentials promise to stay pristine and polished throughout your journeys.

From durable fabrics to versatile styles, discover the ideal travel companions that effortlessly combine comfort and sophistication. Age is no barrier to embracing the joy of travel while looking fabulous on the road.

What to Look for When Choosing Travel Pants

When searching for the perfect travel pants, several key features can enhance your comfort and style on the road. Consider the following factors to ensure you find pants that meet the unique demands of travel:

Comfortable Fabric

Opt for breathable, stretchy fabrics that provide ease of movement. Materials like cotton blends, synthetic fabrics with stretch, or moisture-wicking materials are ideal for various climates and activities.

Wrinkle Resistance

Choose pants that resist wrinkles to keep you looking polished even after hours of wear or being packed in a suitcase. Wrinkle-resistant fabrics such as synthetic blends or certain cotton weaves can help maintain a neat appearance.

Versatility

Look for pants that can easily transition from casual to more formal occasions. Versatile styles can save space in your luggage and allow you to adapt to different settings without sacrificing comfort.

Functional Pockets

Ample, well-placed pockets are invaluable for storing essentials like a phone, passport, or small travel accessories. Pants with zippered or secure pockets can add an extra layer of security for your belongings.

Quick Drying

If you anticipate being in humid or wet conditions, quick-drying pants are a game-changer. Fabrics with moisture-wicking properties or those designed for fast drying will keep you comfortable in various climates.

Adjustable Features

Pants with adjustable waistbands or drawstrings offer flexibility in fit, accommodating changes in body shape due to different climates or culinary indulgences during your travels.

Durability

Opt for well-constructed pants with reinforced seams to withstand the rigors of travel. Durable materials will ensure your pants remain in good condition through multiple adventures.

Security Features

Some travel pants come with hidden or secure pockets, providing an added layer of protection for valuables. This feature can be particularly useful in crowded or unfamiliar settings.

By considering these factors, you can find travel pants that not only meet your comfort and functional needs but also enhance your overall travel experience.

Travel Pants for Mature Women

TravelSmith Adventure & Travel Convertible Pants

Discover the perfect blend of style and functionality with these lightweight travel pants. Made with wrinkle-resistant Supplex® nylon, these pants offer the softness of cotton, ensuring comfort throughout your travels.

Designed for versatility, they feature roll-tab cuffs that easily convert to capris in warmer climates. The elastic waist inserts provide a customized fit, while the two front and cargo pockets, including a zippered one, offer ample storage.

Lululemon Softstreme High-Rise Pant

Lululemon’s Softstreme High-Rise Pants redefine comfort and style. Made with their innovative Softstreme fabric, these high-waisted pants provide a cozy feel with a sleek, tailored look. The four-way stretch ensures unrestricted movement, while the high-rise design offers flattering coverage and support.

Perfect for both active pursuits and casual wear, these pants have convenient side pockets with interior card sleeves and a drawstring waist for a customizable fit.

Everlane The Dream Pant®

With a tailored appearance and the comfort of sweatpants, the Dream Pant® is crafted from soft double-knit fabric, with an elastic waist, pintuck detailing, and a sleek tapered leg. Its flat finish provides a polished look, yet it remains exceptionally comfortable for traveling, and it’s even wrinkle-resistant, making it a versatile addition to your travel wardrobe.

Spanx Stretch Twill Straight Leg Pant

Spanx Stretch Twill Straight Leg Pants redefine classic style with a modern twist. Made from a stretchy twill fabric, these pants offer a comfortable and flattering fit. The straight-leg design provides a timeless silhouette suitable for various occasions, while the pull-on jeans style ensures ease of wear.

UP! Ponte Slim Cross-stitch Pintouch Ankle Pant

Effortlessly chic and impeccably polished, this basic is a travel must-have. Its exposed crosshatch front seams boast a sophisticated trouser-inspired silhouette, providing an unexpected edge for an easy outfit upgrade.

Designed with rich Ponte fabric with a tummy-control elastic waistband, the fit is body-enhancing, comfortable, and easy to wear. This body-shaping pant features a pull-on elastic waistband and a slim fit.

ATHLETA Trekkie North Jogger

Crafted from sleek, lightweight fabric with 2-way stretch, the pants provide optimal mobility. The high-rise fit includes a waistband that offers gentle compression for both comfort and support.

Additional features, such as a tapered hem, front zip pockets, and a side cargo pocket for essentials, make these pants a practical choice.

With abrasion-resistant properties, wicking technology, and excellent breathability, they ensure comfort by pulling sweat away and drying quickly, while a UPF 50+ rating provides excellent sun protection.

REI Co-op Sahara Convertible Pants

Crafted with stretch recycled nylon, these versatile pants are built for the rigors of traveling. A durable water-repellent coating ensures moisture resistance, while the lightweight fabric dries quickly. With a low-bulk design and flat seam stitching preventing chafing, these pants pack down small.

They have thigh zippers for easy conversion to shorts, vertical zippers for ventilation, UPF 50+ protection, and an elastic back waistband for comfort. Six pockets, including zippered cargo pockets, provide ample storage, while reinforced cuff backs withstand abrasion.

Environmentally conscious, they utilize recycled nylon and bluesign®-approved materials, reflecting a commitment to sustainability.

Chico’s Travelers No Tummy Pants

Renowned for their unparalleled comfort, Chico’s customer-favorite No Tummy Pants have become a staple in chic, hassle-free dressing. The absence of front gathering is a standout detail, replaced by front darts that ensure a sleek and polished appearance. With a convenient pull-on elastic waist, these pants embody an easy-chic style.

The straight-leg silhouette adds a timeless touch, and the choice of travel-perfect fabric means they are resistant to wrinkles, making them an ideal companion for any journey. Wherever you wear them, these pants promise a flawless and sophisticated look with every step.

Anatomie Skyler Travel Pant

These bestselling travel pants are meticulously tailored in ultra-light stretch fabric. Made for both comfort and breathability, the slim-fit, mid-rise design offers a slim leg and full length, enhancing your silhouette with streamlining side panels and an all-over slimming effect.

These travel pants are conveniently made with wrinkle-resistant fabric, ensuring that they remain pristine and polished throughout your journeys.

Read HOW TO FIND THE BEST-FITTING PANTS FOR OLDER WOMEN.

Also read 5 COMFORTABLE TRAVEL OUTFITS FOR WOMEN OVER 60.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is your favorite brand of travel pants? What is most important for you when shopping for travel pants? Tell us about it in the comments below.

Landing here with suspicious alacrity, just peruse the landscape; it looks completely different than the tour guide in more youthful times said it would be.

Before Now There Was Then

Life was complicated as a teenager, wasn’t it? With hormones sloshing around while having to cope with DNA-induced existential threats and nurtured mistakes being made at dinner or in the bath, with intent or without.

Early adulthood was extraordinary. Its perfections were experienced alongside what seemed to be one long juggling act. Career finding, building, and solidifying while simultaneously bowing to the child-rearing demands of attention and energy while living on never enough money or time. But those sweet little beings, chubby fingers, chocolate mouths, were reason enough to lean in and continue.

There were complications throughout, clarity of purpose was not always readily available, and times got tough, yet life had such sweetness, a profound pulse, a force calling out, ‘Do! Experience!’ Live Life. Wind and water, salty masks from beach excursions, frozen lips catching snowflakes, being snow angels. The cool bed sheets pleasured the back of knees as eyes closed for sleep.

There was no map to suggest next steps. In or out, and up or down on life’s unstable, rocky, gorgeous, not well-marked path, directing attention towards something holy, ineffable, crystalline, and gleaming, giving the daily bread of purpose.

Now, What Happens?

The winged feet of time deposit the dusty, weary traveler at the door of Age. Already? Only wind-blown hair is a clue. Is it done? Why entertain that thought? With an uncounted number of surprises still ahead, like those that life religiously delivered – small, beautifully wrapped packages holding boxes filled with paradoxes gifting us with humor and perplexity; finished does not need to abide in our vocabulary.

Growing older allows experience to marinate into a form of wisdom or awareness, often wished for in earlier years. Simple things that could not be sorted become obvious. First, put the bag, book, water bottle, and hat onto the passenger seat, then go around and get into the driver’s seat. Less risk of vexing accidents. Less dropping and losing, but also a little less laughing at the minor foibles of silliness that remain.

The offer of a visit, a book to read, and the pressure to try ‘it’ is more easily delayed or dismissed with less questioning. Is it a good decision or a bad one found here? There are the burdens of parts wearing down, looks fading out, love leaving, love dying, losing it all, and only now knowing what was had. If allowed, the abundance still exists; it has been reincarnated into memory.

It Doesn’t Make Sense, But Then, It Doesn’t Have To

Holding the paradox of better comprehension when what is being comprehended by the mind is incomprehensible to the heart. Bearing the truth more efficiently while getting answers is harder. Honestly, is this how business is done, how gratitude is shown? Knowing differently takes work.

Realizing how much was accomplished and how long the list still is, the food yet tasted all the recipes tried. The Winter’s sunrise and sunset, coming closer and closer together. The easy laugh that follows the oft-repeated, ‘the older one gets, the less one knows.’ Yet, discernment and understanding of a matter is now more easily spoken, but only if it can be pulled off the tip of the tongue.

To measure the quality of a day by other people’s metrics is known to be pointless, and yet it is still so tempting. Comparisons serve only to diminish. Look through photos on the page and the memories inside the mind, laugh and thrill and cry and yes, regret, being pleased and positive, angry and sad; a hand holding a full-blown summer rose still with thorns is a beautiful and painful thing. That is the only metric needed.

How can one’s body hold so much?

Taking on a Different Perspective

Happiness as a goal makes ‘no-never-mind’; a bit of peace, feeling contentment, and sensing a fullness in the heart are the rewards for which to aspire. But still, it is sought for; we were taught such.

Racing off here and there is neither practical nor necessary to gain delight; there are naps to had, conversations to seek out, and books to read. Sitting at a table in the wine bar, sipping between laughs, trying to hear through the din of the things left unsaid seems to be a hazard of age.

Old friends weave in and out, so many leaving for brighter shores, a precious few stick around asking questions, involved and aware, willing to take a hand and hold it for mutual comfort. How precious those few are.

Pride in repairing the hinges on the garbage can; when did they become so spendy? The laundry sits for days wet in the machine, only needing to be rewashed. No worries, the lint in the dryer still makes no sense. The list of to-dos need not be checked off so quickly.

AARP is building strength through unified numbers, giving surprisingly helpful information, and making age now in bronze, not ceramic. To love it and hate it makes perfect sense.

Another paradox: Returning a box of bulbs at Target, commenting to the attendant when asked, ‘Nothing is wrong with them, they are perfect, but they just don’t work’ pretty much sums it up. Two great opposing truths can be held at the same time.

However, there is still the paradox of feeling that what had been will never be again; it is a strong force inside as strong as a tornado through the body. A complex, weird, but genuine way of experiencing the thing believed lost to time. Memory is dense with details. There is so much to be brought to the surface. But the experience is delivered albeit differently; it is remembered, and it is reimagined, and it is not lost.

The paradox of becoming invisible to most of the eyes that pass by but being all so much more now than ever before. The words bobbing along inside your mind of the “what and the why” while living in an age where such postures are incrementally fading and being lobbied against; in this, there is a type of grace, our legacy resides, brushing a patina of eloquence over ‘we had the best bands.’ That internal tape that used to play back spits of anger, worries, and less-than-useful comments cracks and frazzles to the ground.

Ultimately, When Finally Settled In

All of this is what the time paradox offers. Every thought, memory, and experience are coins of the realm; each has two sides. Each may be considered as a whole, considered simultaneously, but may only be seen one side at a time. Each side offers a bigger something to behold than just the thing itself.

No longer becoming but, finally, simply being.

It is enough.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which paradoxes of life have become clearer with age? Is life easier to live now than it was 50 years ago? How have things changed for you in the course of those years? Have you reached the point of simply being?