Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

1st Photo: @kylerichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Tropical Print Fringe Cardigan

Photo: @therealhousewivesofbh

Originally posted at: Sutton Stracke’s Light Green Floral Maxi Dress

The music of my youth was more than melody and words. It was a kind of guidance into adult life, a soundtrack for thoughts and feelings that I didn’t know how to reach on my own but were given to me by the likes of Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Paul Simon, and James Taylor.

Music helped to usher my generation over the bridge, from untethered youth to the constraints of being a grown up. It’s what made the transition bearable.

Music’s Unexpected Gifts

Recently, my husband recorded the Hyde Park concert of Carole King performing Tapestry, one of the all-time great albums ever. As we watched it together, I was surprised that the concert moved me to tears.

Was it the music that made me nostalgic, conjuring up memories of a younger self, a wanna-be songwriter who never quite got her career off the ground?

Was it how the camera panned the crowd of thousands and thousands of people who knew every word to every song and sang along in a kind of ecstatic celebration of Tapestry’s musical masterpiece?

The Teachings of Poetry and Performance

What got me going was when a large picture of a young Carole King appeared on the enormous screen behind her. A film of a 30-year-old Carole, singing (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman while the 74-year-old Carole harmonized with her younger self.

The old woman gazing into the face of her youth, while she sang along was a profound moment. That’s what brought me to tears – that larger than life visual metaphor.

As I grow old, I realize that I long for moments that allow me to sing along and harmonize with acknowledging the past, hoping for the future, and loving the right here, right now of being alive.

The Big Changes

Mid-life is a time of working and focusing on goals and ambition. Most of us got lost in the identification of our work, only to discover that age had inched up on us anyway.

It confronted us with questions as to failure and success, usefulness and significance. It’s a slippery slope to contemplate those questions, lest we give ourselves the wrong answer. But here was the right answer in the form of an old Carole King singing with her younger self.

The Circle Turns

Our lives are a series of turnings; circles that we experience as seasons and years. “Look at how long I’ve lived,” this cycle implores. The past pulls on us to make peace with it, so that we can live life more fully. The present asks us to sing in harmony.

Seeing Carole King perform at age 74 was an amazing experience, one that underscored how far I’ve come – how far we’ve all come. Ms. King inspired me to be the old woman, gazing into the face of youth with appreciation in her heart and a song of love on her lips.

Though my musical tastes have changed and expanded over the years, some music will forever be etched on my soul, always compelling, still informing, wonderfully inspiring. Music, in my life, will forever be a bridge making the transitions more bearable.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which artists are your favorite, and which ones continue to inspire you to sing along? What was the last concert you attended and what was the experience like? Please share in the comments below.

This is the time of year we focus on those we love. Children share valentines in school, heart-shaped boxes full of candy disappear from the shelves, florists run out of red roses, and jewelry stores appeal to lovers of any age. There is a special focus on couples and ways to express the love they share. There seems to be an aura of goodwill and happiness.

Of course, it would be wonderful if our expressions of love were more frequent. A hug, an email, an invitation to coffee or lunch, or an “I love you!” go a long way. Even a smile on your face can make someone feel special and appreciated. Perhaps you make that your practice.

Financial Love

During my career as a financial advisor, I met with many, many couples. However, often only one person would attend the meeting, typically a male. There are lots of reasons that only one person was able to attend our meetings. Perhaps the non-attendee had a schedule conflict. In the division of household duties, perhaps managing the couple’s finances was assigned to one person. Sadly, perhaps there was no interest from the non-attendees.

In any case, I submit that it is an act of love to include all partners in financial meetings. Finances or money issues are the number one reason for divorces or break-ups of partnerships. It is imperative that both partners have a clear picture of all income and expenses, assets and liabilities, family net worth, investments and retirement plans, and then together set goals for the future.

I call that financial fidelity.

Financial Fidelity

Financial fidelity is the opposite of financial infidelity. Financial infidelity is when couples with combined finances lie to each other about money. Examples of financial infidelity can include hiding existing debts, excessive expenditures without notifying the other partner, and lying about the use of money. It is relatively easy in our online email and bill pay world to hide expenditures. However, making financial decisions that affect the other person without their knowledge is a form of financial infidelity.

Defensiveness or stonewalling when one partner raises the subject of money is common among couples struggling with financial infidelity. Money is a sensitive topic even when two individuals are close. Financial infidelity can damage trust and relationship satisfaction and stability and can even have legal implications for married couples. When both partners are not on the same page about money, financial issues can lead to the couple splitting up or create unhappiness in the relationship.

How to Show Financial Love

If you are guilty of financial infidelity, the best thing is to come clean. If desired, counselors can facilitate the conversation. In some cases, financial infidelity may be a sign of mental health issues which need professional treatment to prevent the behavior in the future. In any case, experts say it’s important not to accuse, but to gather the facts and discuss priorities and what to do about them.

All financial accounts must be open to both parties for scrutiny and discussion. Try to find shared goals that you both can work toward. If there’s a lot of debt, develop a plan to pay it off and together commit to keep new debts from popping up. Make and stick to a budget. A budget provides a path to follow every month so that both partners can keep track of spending.

With every aspect of a partnership, good communication is the key and communication about finances is critical. Financial love is important to the success of your marriage or partnership, so I encourage you to give it your top priority.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever hidden purchases from your spouse or partner? What happened? How can you show financial love?

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ White Leather Puff Sleeve Top