Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

A couple of years ago, I found myself in a phase of life that I considered to be stressful. I had recently made the decision to retire and was transitioning into that new schedule. My husband and I were building a second home at the beach which was very exciting but also making us nervous – it had become a bigger project than we had expected.

Additionally, I had two grandchildren who were diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes – and for anyone who lives with that in themselves or their kids or grands, you know that it’s a life changing diagnosis.

I had also just turned 60 which really had me reflecting.

There was a lot happening – some really good and some not as great. And my anxiety level, which is always elevated, was high.

I made the decision that summer to work on the practice of being present.

And being present is the one resolution that I will continue into 2024. It has been life changing.

Why Is Being Present Such a Game Changer?

The answer is simple.

Not being present robs us of experiencing the joy in the moment.

I realized that in my 60 years of life, I had very rarely been present in my life.  That saddened me. I’ve had so much joy in my life. Trips with my husband, playing with my sons, cooking with my grandchildren, time with friends, and the list goes on.

In 99% of those moments, I was thinking or worrying about something that had ZERO to do with that moment in time.

And, what’s even worse, I was often worrying about something that wasn’t ever even going to happen!

This had to stop!

What I’ve Learned After Doing This for Two Years

This Is Not Easy!

Working on this was a constant effort, at first. I knew going in that worry and anxiety had ruined many of the moments in my life, but I had no idea really how prevalent it had been until I began holding myself accountable.

And, I’d been doing it for 60+ years! Now, I just require a gentle reminder to myself to be present when I catch my mind wandering. Although, if I’m honest, I’m still gently reminding myself more than I’d like to be!

My Self-Awareness Increased

On this side of 50, being self-aware is the best thing that we can do for ourselves.

We aren’t going to necessarily magically shed our negative core beliefs and our anxiety.  But being self-aware can allow us to understand where our fears and anxieties are coming from, that we will be okay, and give us the courage to move forward in finding our joy and following our dreams at this stage of the game!

I’ve Become TRULY More Grateful

I say “truly” because I think a lot of times we are encouraged to find things to be grateful for and we “name” them but don’t “feel” them.

In being present, I feel them. In the moment.

I love more than almost anything, spending time with my grands. Previously I would be with them and would be worrying about countless different things that had zero to do with what was going on. Or, I’d worry about the boys wrestling and getting hurt. Or, what we were going to do for dinner. Or, when Mom and Dad were going to get back and if they’d be safe. Or, or, or……

Now, I take a minute to revel in their laughter. Or watch the boys wrestle and know that they will, in all likelihood, be just fine and am grateful that they are brothers but also friends. I listen when my grandson tells me all of the things that I need to know about Minecraft and Fortnight and am grateful that he is sharing his world with me. I play catch in the driveway with the four-year-old and am grateful that I am able to move my body even though my back may hurt a bit.

A Few Easy Ways to Get Started

1. When taking a walk, gardening, or just walking out of your door in the morning when you wake up, take your earbuds out. Listen to the sounds of the birds, the children playing, the people talking. Look at the definition of the green trees against the blue sky. The colors. The beauty.
2. As you’re walking, exercising, or moving in any way, think about your body and consider all that it can still do! I complain constantly about my aching back but when I stop and really think about it, my body can still do so so much. When I really take the time and stop to consider it, I am so truly grateful.
3. Turn the TV off when you’re eating. Really taste your food.
4. Carve out 20 minutes of quiet time and reflect and journal on a topic.

Small ways of practicing being present are infinite.

My word for 2024 is “presence.”

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are some ways of being present that you could start practicing in your daily life? Have you done this before? Do you tend to zone out instead of being present when out and about?

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If you’re like most people, you think about having a dream wedding and a happy marriage with a person that you truly love and adore.

There’s nothing more beautiful than being committed to one person for the rest of your life and sharing your entire lifetime with them. However, having a good marriage is a lot more than just the act of getting married.

Guidelines to Help on Your Own Marriage Journey

If you want to remain married – and most of all, happy in your marriage – then you will need to take active efforts towards this goal. A marriage takes two persons who are willing to frequently make a positive connection with one another.

Don’t Guess: Clarify Things for One Another

The number one thing that every single couple needs to understand is positive communication. If you don’t communicate warmly with your wife or husband, it will be extremely hard to have your needs understood and met.

It is not just about communication! You may be communicating by your constant arguing, but not in positive ways that meet one another’s desires and needs.

This means you will take the time to understand how your partner communicates. Everyone communicates in different ways, so you will need to figure out your partner’s communication style.

For example, some people may communicate in a straight forward way while others choose a passive-aggressive style or even submissive style.

Practice Communication

Once you understand how your partner communicates, you can then really comprehend what they are trying to say in the way they are saying it.

Of course, not all communication styles are effective, and if you or your partner is passive-aggressive or aggressive, you will both need to take steps to communicate in a more direct but gentle manner.

No Mind-Reading or Fortune-Telling Allowed!

Remember, it’s impossible to read another person’s mind or have your own mind read. So, be sure to let your partner know what you really think and feel instead of wishing they would just understand you.

Once positive communication is in place, this may bring out some issues. How you deal with these in your marriage is critical.

Learn to Fully Concentrate: Listen and Try to Understand

After all, if your partner tells you they are unhappy with something you’re doing, the last thing you want to do is lash out at them or get into an argument.

It’s vital that you reduce reactive behavior and really think before you speak. The words you say in anger can cause a lot of damage that is very difficult or even impossible to repair.

Calm Down or Cool Down Time Is Vital!

It is likely that after a heated discussion, you may need to take some time to calm down and think, before resuming talk about the issue.

You will find it vital to learn how to think about things from your partner’s point of view so that you can empathize and understand how they feel. Once both partners can do this, solving issues will become more doable.

In any relationship, there will always be challenges and disagreements, but how you approach those and address them will determine the quality of your marriage.

Remember, a happy marriage requires you to communicate respectfully and positively and work through your differences instead of fighting or ignoring them. Learning to live and let live or learning ways to agree to disagree are part of moving into an enjoyable marriage for you both.

Keep in Mind Your Humanity

Keep in mind that you are two human beings who are not perfect and will need to sincerely apologize to one another many times. At the very least, you can apologize for your part in the dispute.

If After Sincerely Trying, You Are Still Having Difficulty, Find Help!

There are many times when you are too close to the issues to be able to work through them by yourselves, in spite of your best efforts.

A marriage friendly therapist, coach or counselor will likely be able to help you – with just a few meetings – develop strong communication skills if you are willing to make an effort!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are some ways that have helped you to have a happy marriage? What were some of the things you learned in the process? What advice would you share with other couples? Please share your thoughts below.

Welcome to Lesson 26!

As I started making my Lesson 26 video, I realized that it has been a year since my first Sixty and Me post on January 4, 2023! Happy Piano-versary to us! We have stuck with it, you and I, even though it has sometimes felt very difficult. I have so enjoyed the challenge of creating these piano lessons, always seeking the clearest and most concise means of communicating new musical concepts to you. I’m excited about the many lessons ahead as we continue to make our way through our piano instruction book for older adults, Upper Hands Piano, BOOK 1.

[NOTE: If you are just joining us for the first time, you can find my previous Sixty and Me Free Piano Lessons on my Author page. You can join our lessons any time and move at your own pace!]

26.1 Accidentals, p.75

Today I discuss accidentals – sharps, flats and naturals – that appear in sheet music. They are called “accidentals” because they are sharps and flats that don’t naturally occur in the key signature in which the piece is written. (We will learn about key signatures on p. 90.)

Remember that sharps raise a note by one half step up to the right, and flats lower a note by one half step down to the left. “Accidental” flats and sharps apply for the whole measure in which they appear, but do not apply in the following measure. Accidentals always appear just to the left of the printed note, on the same line or space as the notehead. A natural cancels a flat or sharp. Watch my video for more details:

26.2 Aura Lea, p.75

If you don’t know the song Aura Lea, you might think it sounds an awful lot like Elvis Presley’s hit, Love Me Tender. That’s because Elvis used the Aura Lea melody for his song. You might try writing Elvis’s lyrics in your music and singing them as you play. I also love Nora Jones’s cover of Love Me Tender. Pay special attention to the circled fingering. The circle means you will need to move your hand to play the key with the correct fingering.

26.3 Chord Calisthenics #5

Today you will start the final chord calisthenics exercise, in the Appendix p.viii in the back of BOOK 1. Try to go right to the minor triad followed by the diminished triad without playing the major triad first. I am demonstrating all 12 keys at a fast tempo, but you will slowly play just the first line for now: C to A. Notice that I am alternating hands. You can alternate hands as well, but change which hand you start with each time you play Chord Cali #5.

Passion Practice

1. Exercise #1 in C, G, and D, play with hands together! – You have played all 4 of my Basic Hand Strengthening Exercises in all 12 keys! That’s a super accomplishment. Today we’re going to go back and revisit Exercise #1 on Appendix p.i, but this time you are going to play each exercise with your hands together! This will feel difficult if you have never tried it before, so take it slow. Put both of your hands in C position, and play the 5 notes of C position with each hand first, then play the exercise with hands together. Play it once FORTE (loudly), then play it again PIANO (softly) with your eyes closed! Practice Exercise #1 this way in C, G and D for the next 2 weeks.
2. Play Aura Lea on p.75 observing the accidentals and the fingering. Notice that the first line is repeated.
3. Chord Calisthenics #5, Appendix viii – This week you will begin Chord Calisthenics #5. Play each set of minor and diminished triads, in C, G, D and A, alternating hands, changing which hand you start with each time.
4. Please review some old songs these two weeks! It would be great to review the challenging piece, Spring, by Vivaldi, on p.63. You can watch the Spring demonstration video from Lesson 20. Alternatively, review any of the pieces you like to play from BOOK 1, or any of the Sixty and Me bonus pieces posted towards the bottom of the page on my website.

Note: When you first approach a piece you haven’t played in a while, it might feel as if you have never played it before! That is intimidating! But after you play through it a few times, it will start to come back to you, and you will learn it more quickly the second time you study it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How does it feel to know that you have been taking lessons for a year? What have been your greatest challenges? Note reading? Fingering? Keeping your place in the music? Rhythm? Keeping a steady beat? What have been your greatest triumphs? Learning the note names? Remembering the note values? Is there a song or piece that you thought you would never learn, that you can finally play? What have been some of your favorite songs or pieces you have played in the past year? What do you love most about playing music? Tell us your piano stories, we love to hear about your progress!

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Originally posted at: Nicole Martin’s Pleated Dress