Being crazy passionate about what I have been doing as a dating coach for four decades (gulp, I just counted them – the ’90s, ’00s, ’10s, and now the ’20s), you bet I notice differences! Trends seem to shift every few years, and thanks to AI, an aging population, and a well-educated dating scene, singles and those in their second acts are becoming bolder and more adventurous as their experiences with online dating grow.
Here’s what’s hot – and what’s totally not – in the dating world of 2025.
1. Strategy Focused
“This is what I want – but how do I get there?” This is the main question I hear. With over 1,400 dating platforms on the market, it’s a fair question.
How do I handle this on Zoom calls with my new clients? First, I listen for an hour. It gives me time to formulate my thoughts and an individual strategy for them. Next, I send them my Personal Business Plan to fill out (yes, the most popular worksheet in my new book released last week: 2nd Acts: Winning Strategies for Dating).
Strategy and dating? Oh yes, they go together like garlic bread and pasta. No, it’s not unromantic – it’s smart! And I am all about getting you to my 65% column of clients who end up meeting their partner. Don’t let starry eyes get in your way – love needs a game plan!
2. Green Flags Waving
We all know about red flags, right? They mean RUN. Delete. Block. But what about green flags? The good signs we should be paying attention to?
Quick story: I had a client in her 60s, sharp, accomplished, gorgeous – and a pro at sniffing out red flags before she even met a guy. Google Lens? Check. Social media deep dive? Check. Background search? You bet. She was rejecting men before even saying hello!
So, when she called me fretting over a guy with an MBA, great photos, and a solid life – but only a year post-divorce – I told her, “Take a deep breath, put the detective badge away, and just meet him.”
Result? A six-hour first date, a Sunday football party where her girlfriends were ga-ga over him, and a Monday night pickleball match. Turns out, while his divorce was a year ago, his separation was four years back – he was more than ready. And for the first time, she sounded giddy. Even my husband, who’s heard all about her, said, “Wow, I didn’t think you’d find her someone!”
So, let’s not get so lost in the red flags that we miss the green ones. Sometimes, you just have to show up.
3. Embracing Niche Interests
Dating profiles used to be full of broad hobbies – “I love skiing and hiking!” – but now? It’s all about the niche passions: glass blowing, salsa dancing, building miniatures, collecting rare vinyl.
Why? Because being unapologetically you is attractive. Will she be taking up glass blowing with him? Probably not. But it makes conversations more interesting and gives relationships more dimension. No one wants a clone – variety keeps things spicy!
4. Loud Looking
Just like it sounds; saying exactly what you’re looking for on your dating profile. But with grace, of course! No vague “just seeing what’s out there” nonsense.
Confidence is hot. Own what you want. Be bold. Be clear. And guess what? You’ll attract the right kind of attention – no mind games required.
5. Less Pressure, More Picky
Oh, I love this one. Clients are realizing there are way more fish in the sea than they anticipated – and they absolutely do not need to settle. If it’s not a match, next!
It’s refreshing. It’s empowering. And honestly? It makes dating more fun.
Bonus: What’s Out (Thank God!)
Slow Dating
Endless texting and phone calls with someone you’ll probably never meet. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Benching
That annoying “kind of interested but keeping you on standby” move? Yeah, we’re all too smart for that now.
Grim Keeping
Bonding over shared dislikes and complaints. Misery might love company, but love thrives on joy.
When I read through all of this, it comes back to strategy, openness, mindset, and knowing what you want. Cheers to 2025 dating – let’s make it bold, smart, and fun!
In my book I offer 14 worksheets and QR Codes that take you to coaching videos to get you on the right path to dating – and having fun with the entire process – yes, I said FUN!
Reflection Questions:
What is your mindset about dating, life and love? Would you like a relationship? Are you willing to give dating one more chance and commit for 3 months with a strategy?
