If this December you are feeling anything but merry and bright, it’s perfectly okay. There is no requirement to be “in the spirit,” or peaceful or joyful. And by all means, if you don’t feel like it, don’t deck the halls or hang the stockings with care.

There is no rulebook for the holiday season, especially after what may have been a particularly difficult year. Just because you have always done it, doesn’t mean that this year it must be done at all. Perhaps this year you are feeling the sting of loss, unwanted change, deep loneliness or an otherwise dramatically different and difficult holiday season.

It’s Okay If You’re Not Okay

I believe that by age five, everyone should know that difficult emotions are a normal part of life. Perhaps, on average, up to 50 percent of life is full of uncomfortable feelings, from annoyed to agitated, bored to burdened, weak to weary, and everything in between. While the other 50 percent is the range of happy, joyful, pleasant emotions that we enjoy feeling. Life simply is not a bowl of cherries all the time.

In fact, feelings can change by the minute based on the thoughts we’re thinking. A normal day offers us a wide range of emotions because we have a wide range of thoughts. Tracing feelings back to the thought causing them is a useful skill in general, and especially during difficult seasons of life.

Grief Is Heavy

If this holiday season you’re grieving any loss, everything likely feels heavier. Perhaps the mix of emotions you’re experiencing is not at all 50/50, but more like 90% difficult and 10% positive. Whatever mix of emotions you’re feeling is 100% perfectly okay. There is no requirement that you should feel differently than you do.

Difficult emotions are never around forever. The same is true for positive emotions. Sometimes difficult and positive emotions happen sequentially, while other times they happen all at once. For many people who are living life after a profound loss, experiencing both difficult and positive emotions at the same time is a disorienting experience. It’s the duality of grief.

Judging Yourself Has No Upside

Notice if you think you should be thinking, feeling and acting differently this holiday season. This creates unnecessary suffering on top of the pain of an already difficult season of life.

You get to think, feel and act exactly as you are. If this time of year feels heavier than usual, just let it feel heavy. Decorate or don’t. Feel the joy and the sadness that life offers you. There is no need to put on a “game face” or attempt to deliver a best-actress-in-a-dramatic-series level performance. Just be exactly, precisely, however you are. Show up as the most authentic version of yourself this holiday season.

Here are some thoughts to consider. If they feel true for you, practice them often:

• I’m feeling extra sadness/loneliness/grief this year, and that’s okay.
• This is the part when I feel difficult emotions during the holidays.
• There is no requirement to feel happy all of the time.
• Life is a mix of happy and uncomfortable emotions.
• It’s okay if I’m not okay.

If this holiday season is difficult for you, what (if anything) are you doing differently? Do you agree that life, on average, is a 50/50 mix of positive and difficult emotions? Why or why not? Do you notice self-judgement in terms of how you’re feeling and acting this holiday season? In what ways can you take extra care of yourself this year?

Gina Kirschenheiter’s Orange Ruched Dress at Lunch with Emily and Heather

Real Housewives of Orange County Season 16 Episode 2 Fashion

Gina Kirschenheiter puts the orange in Orange County wearing this orange ruched dress. It can also be seen on fellow OC Housewife Emily Simpson. I’m a little surprised they didn’t call each other up to match to lunch (jk). But I guess that’s how you know it’s a good grab if these two BBF’s have it. Which only means now we must order one just like it. After all, despite Shannon’s opinion, they seem pretty trustworthy especially when it comes to fashion.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Also Seen on Emily Simpson:

Click Here to Shop Her L*Space Dress

Photo #2 Credit: @rhoc_emilysimpson

Originally posted at: Gina Kirschenheiter’s Orange Ruched Dress

Jennifer Armstrong’s White Tuxedo Romper

Real Housewives of Orange County Season 16 Episode 2 Fashion

How cute was Jennifer Armstrong at dinner on last night’s episode!? Yes I’m referring to her adorable white tuxedo romper that she wore. But I’m also talking about her and hubby. I actually like their dynamic and you know they always say that opposites attract. Well except when it comes to certain members of RHOC group that is .

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her Michael Costello Romper

Originally posted at: Jennifer Armstrong’s White Tuxedo Romper

Between filming And Just Like That, designing shoes, and taking care of her family, Sarah Jessica Parker is one busy boss lady. How could a single person juggle all of these responsibilities and still have glowing skin?

We got to the bottom of this conundrum by discovering SJP’s tried-and-true, everlasting beauty product. And when we use the word, everlasting, we mean it. SJP spoke with Today and revealed her favorite skincare product is one she’s been relying on for a long, long time. 

“It’s the only moisturizer I’ve used forever,” she said. “It’s just La Roche-Posay fluid. That’s it. It’s amazing. It’s very thin, so you can use it to touch yourself up. It’s great.”

Like us, SJP loves the French, no B.S. skincare brand that has made its way into all of the major drugstores. The actress can’t live without the brand’s Toleriane Fluide Oil-Free Moisturizer, in particular. 

If you’re in the market for a new, top-quality moisturizer that also has SJP’s stamp of approval, scoop up a bottle of La Roche-Posay’s moisturizer. And keep reading for how this lightweight goop has found a permanent home in the actress’ beauty routine.

RELATED: Here’s How Much Carrie Bradshaw’s ‘Sex and the City’ Apartment Would Cost Today 

Photo: La Roche-Posay.

This moisturizer is compatible with normal, combination, oily, and even sensitive skin, according to the brand. That’s because the formula is free of oil, fragrance, preservatives, and parabens. It’s also non-comedogenic (won’t clog your pores), light, and best of all, mattifying. For the people in the back with oily skin, that is one huge bonus.

But regardless of your skin type, this moisturizer delivers deep hydration for up to 48 hours and restores the skin’s moisture barrier. Hydrating glycerin, multifunctional niacinamide, and antioxidant-rich La Roche-Posay Thermal Water allow the formula to do its job and do it well.

Essentially, this moisturizer leaves out all of the bad ingredients and incorporates all of the good ones so that you’re left with hydrated, replenished, soothed skin. And SJP isn’t the only one who has such positive things to say about La Roche-Posay’s effective cream.  

“This is the only moisturizer I have found that doesn’t have pore-clogging ingredients (and I have researched MANY!),” says one shopper who awarded the product a perfect five-star rating. “It’s not a heavy moisturizer. It sinks into the skin without interfering with makeup application.”

Another one shared similar sentiments, saying “Best moisturizer I have ever used. Gives your skin a good amount of moisture, without leaving any sort of shiny film. I apply this to dry skin after using their sensitive face wash. The biggest selling point is the ingredient list. Nothing in this irritates my skin. Very safe ingredients. Hope it never changes.”

They’re dead on in that there are only 10 ingredients in this moisturizer, and they’re all extremely skin-loving. Get your skin on the same level as SJP’s by shopping La Roche-Posay’s Toleriane Fluide Oil-Free Moisturizer. Who knows, it could turn into your forever moisturizer, too.

Both osteopenia and osteoporosis are conditions that indicate an issue with bone mineral density.

Osteopenia is considered by many doctors to be the precursor to osteoporosis. However, not everyone who is diagnosed with osteopenia will develop osteoporosis. And not everyone who is diagnosed with osteopenia will retain that diagnosis.

The Diagnosis

Many years ago, I requested an x-ray (DXA scan) after speaking with a fellow passenger on the same flight as me. She was reading about it after receiving her diagnosis of osteopenia.

I had never heard of osteopenia and I wanted to get ahead of it if I were diagnosed with it. Although many doctors will offer the test after you reach a certain age, you can also request the test.

Your result is given as a T-score. Per WebMD: Normal bone: T-score above -1; Osteopenia: T-score between -1 and -2.5; Osteoporosis: T-score of -2.5 or lower

Dealing with osteopenia is much better than dealing with osteoporosis. It’s like any medical condition – catch it early and your chances are much better. I was diagnosed with osteopenia and now I am fine.

Yes, it took several years of treatment with Fosamax (alendronate) and calcium citrate with Vitamin D along with exercise, but I am fine now. It is extremely important for me to maintain the calcium and exercise regimen to keep it at bay, but that is just part of staying healthy.

Those Most Likely to Be Diagnosed

It is common knowledge that post-menopausal women are at higher risk to develop these conditions as a result of the loss of estrogen. What many are not aware of is that people who participate in non-weight-bearing sports like bicycling or swimming are more likely to be diagnosed than those participating in weight-bearing sports like powerlifting and running.

Women are more likely than men to develop bone density issues. You are at greater risk if you are white or of Asian descent. Family history and body frame size also play a role.

Prevention Is Still the Best

A bone density scan will provide you with the knowledge you need. If you know your condition, you are better able to deal with it. It is very low radiation and takes just minutes to complete.

Taking a calcium supplement with Vitamin D is important whether you have one of these conditions or not. Not all supplements are created equal. Please do your research and find the one that will work best for you. Plan your exercise to include weight-bearing activities. Avoid excessive alcohol consumption and tobacco use.

Of course, none of the following information is intended to be medical advice, but, we hope that it gives you something to discuss with your doctor on your next visit. Your doctor can assist you in making the best choices for your long-term health.

Did you know the difference between osteopenia and osteoporosis? Have you been diagnosed with either? What advice would you give you other women in our community to protect their bone health? Please share in the comments section.