Family estrangement for women in their 60s is more common than you think. About 70 million people in the United States report experiencing estrangement from one or more family members.

For some, estrangement is a choice due to self-preservation against impossible family circumstances. Perhaps you have been the recipient of someone’s decision to detach.

Estrangement is a topic often held in the shadows with little or no support due to the gravity of its impact. It can be extraordinarily distressing for those that are scorned or ignored. This article discusses five tips to help you navigate this Holiday if you are estranged.

Especially during the holidays, estranged people can struggle with the onslaught of movies, decorations, and music broadcasting family cheer.

All that togetherness around the tree with everyone smiling like in Hallmark Movies.

There is a buzz of family gatherings, busyness on steroids, discussions of dinner plans, and let’s not forget the greetings. Happiness can feel elusive when you are pining for your loved one to call or visit. The holiday season can be brutal.

Holidays abound with tradition, expectations, and possibilities. Unfortunately, when one experiences the gamut of estrangement, one can encounter degrees of sadness, guilt, shame, depression, loneliness, and isolation. As a therapist and wellness coach, some of my clients have wrestled with strong emotions by denying they hurt.

They put on a solid front to protect themselves from their grief and loss. Some plot their journey of estrangement by visiting their emotions, intentionally carving out time for self-care, summoning their power of choices, connecting with others, and committing to having support.

The Power of Choice

There is no doubt that being separated from those you love during the holidays can be more than problematic. More than likely, you didn’t have this in mind for your family. Once again, my son, his wife, and my grandson will not be visiting our family. He has chosen to exclude himself from our traditions. While it has been excruciating, living with joy is more than possible. It is a choice to accept to live despite the loss.

Each day you get to decide what you will do with your time. You can choose to heed the call of Nurturing yourself or not. You can choose to call a friend, join a group, volunteer, and find something to be grateful for.

You can pray, set intentions, do affirmations, watch a funny movie, do a yoga class, meditate, or go for a walk. The choice is yours to do the work necessary for whole living. Keeping a daily routine can be very grounding. There are resources everywhere to help reframe your thoughts to ones that will be life-giving.

Since the holidays bring so many expectations, consider dropping those that keep you stuck. If they don’t want to be in your company, gather with voluntary kin. Be alert to the things that trigger you and do something different. Decide to spend the day doing something you like to do.

It never occurred to me that my son would ignore me and not reach out. While it hurts terribly, what has sustained me has been to partake in daily self-care, stay connected, visit my emotions, and make daily choices.

Each day choose your well-being. Your circumstances may be far from your desires, but you can decide to move forward with joy. Daily stress can bring on strong emotions. If time allows, visit with your feelings. Or you can compartmentalize, stall the exercise, and do something you enjoy. The day is yours; you have options, choose yourself!

Connection

During the holidays, the expectation is for family gatherings. Being disappointed that you cannot have your ultimate Holiday is o.k. Accept what is and make lemonade instead. It is appropriate to ask a friend to join her gathering. You can also host a small meeting. You may have some of your family you can see, be sure to enjoy them wholeheartedly.

There is nothing more critical to well-being than being connected to others. Strong feelings can sometimes cause us to isolate. Strongly resist the temptation to isolate. Push yourself to be around people you like. Arrange to go out to dinner with friends.

Please share your story with a friend and enlist their help. Above all, resist the temptation to recluse and isolate. You will find that there are many people with similar stories.

Studies tell us that human connection aligns with better health and happiness. We are happier when we are genuine and share human moments with others. Decide to make friendships a priority.

Self-Care

Daily self-care is essential to well-being. Even on your busy days, take time to meditate, lather yourself with lotion, go for a walk, eat a nutritious meal, and listen to music. Self-care is so much more than getting a manicure. Self-care is prioritizing you enough to take the time that elevates your mental and physical health.

Your self-care is a personal matter. Your individual needs inform what practices will work for you. Research tells us that there is a positive relationship between people who follow a daily self-care routine and stress reduction. Practicing mindfulness daily by meditating can improve self-compassion and empathy for others.

Visiting Your Emotions

Estrangement occurs when one or more people intentionally create distance with another. Sometimes there is a sudden break of the relationship, yet often it is a process of distancing. The loss of closeness, particularly of an adult child, hurts. Varying coping mechanisms to avoid pain can increase our stress because pain doesn’t go away on its own.

It requires careful compassionate appointments to explore and then return to your courage to move forward. Journaling can be part of these visits with simple writing. There is no right or wrong way. Just let it flow. Handwritten journaling is best, so you slow down, think, and feel.

Using your computer will work too. The idea is to pause so you can express and process. Think of it as an opportunity for intimacy where you accept what you feel and allow it to be.

Estrangement from family, especially during the holidays, is not fun. Mainly if it is our adult children who have chosen to separate, we may blame ourselves, feel guilty about our words and deeds, and have to shame the notion our child no longer seeks our company.

When we journal our thoughts and feelings, we get to develop the contents of our hearts slowly. If tears come, welcome them. If it hurts badly, remind yourself you can, and you will get through. Each time you visit, experiment with more self-compassion.

You may want to get a particular book, light a candle, sip on your favorite tea. Honor yourself with time to survey the quiet places and noisy places. Above all, bring a heavy helping of self-compassion, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, did the best you could, and offer forgiveness.

Visiting your emotions is an exercise in patience and determination – practice patience in letting the contents inside unfold. Determine to come through knowing yourself better.

Support

Holidays are stressful for everyone. Estrangement can catapult stress to epic proportions. Wherever you are on the stress scale, support will be a considerable comfort. Regularly talking to others in a support group or seeing a therapist can help navigate strong emotions.

Likewise, support can help enlarge your insight, teach communication skills, offer options, and provide a safe place to ventilate.

Talk to someone who is there to uplift you and come alongside you. Estrangement can be disturbing, and loss has no magic wand. Sometimes the pain is too much to handle alone. Professional assistance will help you navigate your triggers, assess your emotional state, and provide a safe, enriching experience. There is no shame in getting help if you are stuck. You are not alone, and you do not need to struggle longer than necessary.

Have a Compassionate Holiday!

Self-compassion is your key to better living. Being a member of humanity, the experience of hurting is real. Practice self-talk that is encouraging and positive. Learn to treat yourself as you would a friend.

Be compassionate in all things. Judging and criticizing are as harmful as a hangnail. Extend kindness to yourself and see this upcoming Holiday as an opportunity to find those things you are grateful for.

My son and his family are dear to me, and I will miss them this year. I have learned to focus on those who enjoy my company and celebrate the many opportunities to be grateful. It still hurts, but I choose to reframe how I see the Holiday.

Expectations can create big problems, so I expect less. I accept what it is and make lemonade. Keeping emotional visits, daily self-care, talking to my therapist, and leaning into the power of choice has helped me live better. I still hurt, but I choose to live with joy. I invite you to choose joy as well.

What part of your estrangement story have you found most challenging? What have you learned about yourself that has helped you with other family members? How will you commit to making your Holiday enjoyable?

Sutton Stracke’s Blue Puff Sleeve Sweatshirt on Instagram

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2021 Instagram Fashion

I want to know if you’ve ever seen the rain Sutton Stracke’s blue puff sleeve sweatshirt on Instagram? Welp, if you haven’t take a gander below. And now I’m sure you’ve also seen that it’s unfortunately sold out. That’s alright because it is *still available* in white. But if you’d still prefer to be singing wearing the blues, we still have our Style Stealers below.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to See Her Frame Blue Sweatshirt 

Click Here to Shop it in White

Photo Credit: @suttonstracke

Originally posted at: Sutton Stracke’s Blue Puff Sleeve Sweatshirt

Nothing can give you the pep to get up and go like the right perfume. Fragrance strings together the parts of the brain that associate scents with feelings, emotions and memories, going further than just infusing a dose of confidence; the right notes can act as mood enhancers that alter how we feel unlike any other.

There isn’t a better time than now to invest in an effervescent fragrance, with Sephora’s Fragrance For All Event slashing all perfume prices by 20 percent. The sale ends Friday, December 24. If you somehow missed Sephora’s massive Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, here’s your chance to pick up an uplifting scent for yourself or as a last minute Christmas gift for a friend.

And believe us, your friend will thank you for it. “The sense of smell has profound influence over how we act and react, taste and think, behave and love,” writes author and neuroscientist Rachel Herz in The Scent of Desire, of what she calls odor-emotional conditioning. “The ability to experience and express emotion grew directly out of our brain’s ability to process smell.”

Ergo, knowing what olfactory notes evoke certain sentiments tells you what fragrance to wear depending on the occasion. Here, we zoom in on fragrances that inspire and make you feel like sliding out of your joggers, into your best high-waisted jeans and onto the streets.

Our shopping advice is to choose one for a friend depending on what they need it for, or, indulge yourself: Use our guide to pick one and buy it online and wait for delivery, or head over to Sephora, spray some on your wrist and opt for the one that you can’t stop sniffing and makes you feel revitalized.

Combine the codes FRAGRANCE20 and SAMEDAY for the discount and same-day delivery up to December 24. The deal only applies to full-size fragrances, and is available only to Sephora Insider members. If you aren’t a member already, sign up on their website, pronto!

Courtesy of Sephora

Chloé Nomade Absolu Eau De Parfum

One of the most sought-after scents of the year, a whiff of Chloé’s Nomade Absolu invokes a sense of poise and finesse via woody notes of sandalwood and oak moss, mellowed down by mirabelle plum and musk. Sandalwood is also known for granting calm and focus, which makes Nomade Absolu the perfect pick-me-up for long days of Christmas shopping. One spritz and you’re suddenly loaded with a refined elegance, brimming with self-assurance and ready to take on even the most frenzied of Christmas sales.

Courtesy of Sephora

Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille Eau de Parfum

Vanilla wields the force of an aphrodisiac, and Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille accents the seemingly simple, gourmand note in the best way possible. Blended with tonka bean, rich spices and tobacco flower, the scent is designed to infuse sensuality and amps up seduction powers. Some may find it quite heady and opulent, so when going on a date and in need of said power, spray it in the air, walk through it and exude a decadent allure.

Courtesy of Sephora

Gucci Flora Gorgeous Gardenia Eau de Parfum

Jasmine is widely regarded as the giver of audacity, that certain je ne sais quoi that we all need for special occasions like drinks with friends or social events, and this latest addition to the Flora by Gucci line has it in spades. This is joy in a bottle, a prime example of how White Gardenia is made even more alluring when wrapped around Jasmine Grandiflorum and Pear Blossom.

Courtesy of Sephora

Yves Saint Laurent Libre Eau de Parfum

Musk-based perfumes like Yves Saint Laurent’s new Libre are feel-good scents that make you feel clean, fresh and ready to go, making it the perfect scent for exploring a city on foot. Accented with lavender and citrussy accords of mandarin orange, black currant and orange blossom, Libre imparts a sense of vigor and vivacity. Just as the name implies, the scent gives the wearer a feeling of freedom—the gusto to explore, roam, and be adventurous.

Courtesy of Sephora

Hermès Le Jardin de Monsieur Li Eau De Toilette

Nothing beats a shot of bergamot to give you the momentum to get the day going, and set off by notes of jasmine, kumquat and bamboo, this light EDT from Hermès is absolutely invigorating. Before heading out to work try a blast of Le Jardin de Monsieur Li to feel absolutely fresh and zesty and ready for anything the office throws at you. Bergamot essential oil is also used to treat anxiety and depression, so it’ll do wonders for work stress.

If there’s one thing we all need this Christmas, it’s that extra sparkle to celebrate life as we haven’t been doing since COVID. And a misting of the bang-on, right fragrance is the best way to achieve that. These scents won’t last long (two out of three Gucci Flora Gorgeous Gardenia sizes are sold out!), so head over to Sephora and pick up your pick-me-upper, ASAP.

Nothing can give you the pep to get up and go like the right perfume. Fragrance strings together the parts of the brain that associate scents with feelings, emotions and memories, going further than just infusing a dose of confidence; the right notes can act as mood enhancers that alter how we feel unlike any other.

There isn’t a better time than now to invest in an effervescent fragrance, with Sephora’s Fragrance For All Event slashing all perfume prices by 20 percent. The sale ends Friday, December 24. If you somehow missed Sephora’s massive Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, here’s your chance to pick up an uplifting scent for yourself or as a last minute Christmas gift for a friend.

And believe us, your friend will thank you for it. “The sense of smell has profound influence over how we act and react, taste and think, behave and love,” writes author and neuroscientist Rachel Herz in The Scent of Desire, of what she calls odor-emotional conditioning. “The ability to experience and express emotion grew directly out of our brain’s ability to process smell.”

Ergo, knowing what olfactory notes evoke certain sentiments tells you what fragrance to wear depending on the occasion. Here, we zoom in on fragrances that inspire and make you feel like sliding out of your joggers, into your best high-waisted jeans and onto the streets.

Our shopping advice is to choose one for a friend depending on what they need it for, or, indulge yourself: Use our guide to pick one and buy it online and wait for delivery, or head over to Sephora, spray some on your wrist and opt for the one that you can’t stop sniffing and makes you feel revitalized.

Combine the codes FRAGRANCE20 and SAMEDAY for the discount and same-day delivery up to December 24. The deal only applies to full-size fragrances, and is available only to Sephora Insider members. If you aren’t a member already, sign up on their website, pronto!

Courtesy of Sephora

Chloé Nomade Absolu Eau De Parfum

One of the most sought-after scents of the year, a whiff of Chloé’s Nomade Absolu invokes a sense of poise and finesse via woody notes of sandalwood and oak moss, mellowed down by mirabelle plum and musk. Sandalwood is also known for granting calm and focus, which makes Nomade Absolu the perfect pick-me-up for long days of Christmas shopping. One spritz and you’re suddenly loaded with a refined elegance, brimming with self-assurance and ready to take on even the most frenzied of Christmas sales.

Courtesy of Sephora

Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille Eau de Parfum

Vanilla wields the force of an aphrodisiac, and Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille accents the seemingly simple, gourmand note in the best way possible. Blended with tonka bean, rich spices and tobacco flower, the scent is designed to infuse sensuality and amps up seduction powers. Some may find it quite heady and opulent, so when going on a date and in need of said power, spray it in the air, walk through it and exude a decadent allure.

Courtesy of Sephora

Gucci Flora Gorgeous Gardenia Eau de Parfum

Jasmine is widely regarded as the giver of audacity, that certain je ne sais quoi that we all need for special occasions like drinks with friends or social events, and this latest addition to the Flora by Gucci line has it in spades. This is joy in a bottle, a prime example of how White Gardenia is made even more alluring when wrapped around Jasmine Grandiflorum and Pear Blossom.

Courtesy of Sephora

Yves Saint Laurent Libre Eau de Parfum

Musk-based perfumes like Yves Saint Laurent’s new Libre are feel-good scents that make you feel clean, fresh and ready to go, making it the perfect scent for exploring a city on foot. Accented with lavender and citrussy accords of mandarin orange, black currant and orange blossom, Libre imparts a sense of vigor and vivacity. Just as the name implies, the scent gives the wearer a feeling of freedom—the gusto to explore, roam, and be adventurous.

Courtesy of Sephora

Hermès Le Jardin de Monsieur Li Eau De Toilette

Nothing beats a shot of bergamot to give you the momentum to get the day going, and set off by notes of jasmine, kumquat and bamboo, this light EDT from Hermès is absolutely invigorating. Before heading out to work try a blast of Le Jardin de Monsieur Li to feel absolutely fresh and zesty and ready for anything the office throws at you. Bergamot essential oil is also used to treat anxiety and depression, so it’ll do wonders for work stress.

If there’s one thing we all need this Christmas, it’s that extra sparkle to celebrate life as we haven’t been doing since COVID. And a misting of the bang-on, right fragrance is the best way to achieve that. These scents won’t last long (two out of three Gucci Flora Gorgeous Gardenia sizes are sold out!), so head over to Sephora and pick up your pick-me-upper, ASAP.

Winter is upon us! Time to wrap up some last-minute holiday shopping, see friends and family, and to embrace (or maybe fly away from) the cold weather! I want to make sure you know of some great places to celebrate the season from around the world.

Whether traveling solo or with company, these places are sure to represent all the time of year has to offer, from outdoor activities to unique holiday celebrations! Pack your bags, and enjoy a trip across the globe – here are this year’s Top 5 Winter Vacation Spots.

#1: London, England (United Kingdom)

This is a place for those that enjoy the cold, as the average temperature in the city runs about 44 degrees (or 7 degrees Celsius) this time of year. And though travel rates to this city rise around December, there are few better places to go if you want to spend the best of the holiday season in a city known for its unique cultural offerings, incredible history, and stunning architecture.

You’ll find the roofs of shops decorated with Christmas lights, people enjoying skating at one of the many outdoor ice rinks, and seasonal celebrations at world-famous places like the Kew Botanical Gardens and The Royal Albert Hall.

Why not enjoy a performance of A Christmas Carol at the historic Old Vic, or The Nutcracker at the London Coliseum? Events like Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland and Hogwarts in the Snow (see Harry Potter film sets decorated for winter!) last until January.

#2: Grand Canyon National Park (Arizona, United States)

America’s national parks, from Denali to Yellowstone, offer a range of incredible outdoor winter experiences. If you’re looking to visit one of the country’s breathtaking natural wonders without the traditional crowds, look no further than the Grand Canyon.

The combination of Arizona sunlight with the yearly snowfall gives the canyon a unique majesty not seen during the other seasons. Although the North Rim is closed during winter, the canyon’s hallmark Mule Trips are offered year-round at the South Rim.

Hermit Road and Desert View Drive are open to private vehicles during this time of year for scenic trips, along with many hiking paths and cross-country ski-trails. There are plenty of lodging options at the South Rim, which also offer free shuttle buses to visitors during the winter.

#3: Zermatt (Valais, Switzerland)

There’s probably not a more singular winter experience than staying at a Swiss chalet. Zermatt, a world-renown ski destination, offers a variety of lodging, dining, and recreational options for winter travelers. Nestled at the foot of the Matterhorn (the mountain that inspired the Disney ride), Zermatt offers visitors a unique trans-national opportunity to ski the mountains of Switzerland and Italy.

And there’s plenty for non-skiers to do. Visits to the Matterhorn’s Glacier Palace and Gornergat’s Fondue Under the Stars are highlights. Tourists can also enjoy shopping at boutique stores, visits to wellness spas, and bowling, in addition to the many terrific cafes, restaurants, and tea rooms in the village.

#4 Palm Springs, California (United States)

Palm Springs has marketed itself as an oasis for travelers, with a perennially mild climate and a variety of signature activities, including art crawls, architecture tours, and horseback riding. Those looking to experience a winter wonderland in this atmosphere should look no further than Wildlights at the Living Desert Zoo and Gardens, where holiday lights are beautifully arranged throughout the park.

Frosty Fest at the Palm Desert Civic Center and Merry Movie Nights in the Gardens at El Paseo offer cultural offerings that are unique to the season. Beyond the New Year, visitors can enjoy the world-class Palm Springs International Film Festival, which brings the previous year’s best in cinema and notable artists from around the world to the region.

#5 Lapland (Finland)

Christmas fans rejoice! If you’re looking to immerse yourself in the spirit of the holidays, this is the place to do it! Rovaniemi, the capital of this Finnish province, attracts hundreds of thousands of visitors in December, all thanks to its famous Santa Claus Village.

Initially constructed in haste after Eleanor Roosevelt allegedly remarked she wanted to see Santa Claus during her visit, this incredible place has claimed itself to be the official hometown of St. Nick. Although open year-round, there’s nothing quite like traveling to this special destination during the winter for a seasonal celebration.

Reindeer rides, ice skating, snowmobile tours, and sledding are only a few of the activities offered, which visitors can do in between trips to an on-site husky park and petting zoo! Tourists hoping to visit Mr. and Mrs. Claus will not be disappointed and can even participate in arts and crafts with the local elves!

Adding to the magical experience, Santa Claus Village also offers lodging and activities to better view the phenomena of the Arctic Circle that falls across the region, which includes the famous Northern Lights.

These Top 5 Winter Vacation Spots should hit all the right notes when it comes to celebrating the best of the season. At these destinations, you can find plenty of activities to do, often in a festive atmosphere that evokes the traditional end-of-year spirit. Happy Holidays and be sure to visit us for more Top 5 Winter Vacation Spots in 2022!

Where are you spending the winter season this year? Why did you choose that destination? If you had the opportunity, which of the 5 places mentioned above would you go to for the holidays?