Month: July 2023

How to Keep It Simple in Complicated Times

keep it simple

We’re living in complicated times. World events are spiraling, technology is developing at warp speed, and uncertainty is the norm. We’re bombarded with information, deluged with news, overwhelmed by decisions.

Life can be exciting. And it can be exhausting.

Navigating these times can be challenging for even the most seasoned souls. I know I find myself waxing nostalgic for simpler days.

One of my favorite mantras is When things are out of control, control what you can. In my case, I do a load of laundry.

It’s not the love of a good spin cycle that motivates me. Rather I’m seeking something small, something mundane. Something that gives me the satisfaction of completion and the illusion of control. And a feeling that all is in order in the world.

I think that kind of yearning is human nature. There’s comfort in ritual. There’s solace in the simplest tasks. And bringing a little order to life calms our nervous systems and returns us to our center.

The list of ways to nurture simplicity is as varied and unique as each person. While I might begin in my laundry room, you might run from yours in horror.

Here are a few ideas for keeping things simple to get your wheels turning… and to help you hop off the hamster wheel that is Life.

Summon Your Senses

When you need to get back to basics, rely on all your senses. Choose tasks and activities that wake them up.

  • Look out your windows (even better, open them first).
  • Wear your happiest color(s).
  • Pour your favorite beverage; open a favorite book; play a favorite tune; light a favorite candle.
  • Arrange a bouquet.
  • Plant your garden. Or weed it.
  • Soak in the tub.
  • Watch the sun set. Or rise.
  • Focus on your breath.

Move at Your Own Pace. But Move!

I recently had a conversation with a group of friends about exercise and aging. Most of us are leaning into the notion that by now our bodies know what they need. None of us are committed to the punishing workouts and strenuous training routines of our youth.

All of us agree that even the simplest movements serve us. Movement can keep you in the moment, so:

  • Stretch each morning.
  • Walk in nature.
  • Count your steps.
  • Stand up every hour. Or more.
  • Practice balancing.
  • Dance in your kitchen. In all your rooms!

Take a Break or Create

Sometimes the easiest way to keep things simple is to merely unplug. Cutting back on distractions and taking a step back can make a difference.

Or we can lose track of time (and of those situations that stir us up) by diving into something creative. And remember, complicated is not required.

  • Take a digital sunset (no technology after a certain time of day).
  • Sit with the silence.
  • Turn off notifications on your devices.
  • Mono-task, not multi-task.
  • Pick up a pen. Or a paint brush.
  • Re-organize a bookshelf. Or rearrange a room.
  • Try a new recipe. Then savor its rewards.

There’s not always much we can do to influence the ups and downs of life happening all around us. We can only ride the waves.

But the actions we do take will set a tone. If simpler feels more peaceful, why not go with that? I’ll be right there with you.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What practices do you have for embracing simplicity? How do they restore you and make a difference in your life?

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Gina Kirschenheiter’s Blue Floral Smock Top

Gina Kirschenheiter’s Blue Floral Smock Top / Real Housewives of Orange County Season 17 Episode 8 Fashion

Personally, I think Gina Kirschenheiter had a major glow up this season. I know she went through a whole personal journey with sobriety, but even her fashion has gone up a couple notches. Like this blue floral smock top she wore to the store with Travis. Soooo adorable and the perfect thing to give a casual ‘fit that extra pizzazz. Which means a top like this is a great thing to add to the top of our grocery shopping list.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Gina Kirschenheiter's Blue Floral Smock Top

Style Stealers




Originally posted at: Gina Kirschenheiter’s Blue Floral Smock Top

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Heather Dubrow’s White Maxi Shirt Dress

White Maxi Shirt Dress Dress/ Real Housewives of Orange County Instagram Fashion July 2023

Heather Dubrow looked classic, sophisticated and chic in her white maxi shirt dress and black basket bag at Emily Simpson’s pool party. If you are in to the quiet luxury trend, I absolutely suggest replicating her look. And also like Heather, I suggest you also bring a full body wet suit before you slip in slide in the sunless tanner “infused” waters of the OC.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair


Heather Dubrow's White Maxi Shirt Dress and Black Basket Bag

Click Here to Shop her Dress in Turquoise

Photo: @heatherdubrow





Originally posted at: Heather Dubrow’s White Maxi Shirt Dress

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Tamra Judge’s Gold Sunburst Earrings

Tamra Judge’s Gold Sunburst Earrings/ Real Housewives of Orange County Season 17 Episode 8 Fashion

Like Tamra Judge, the gold sunburst earrings she wore with her neon crochet maxi dress on last night’s Real Housewives of Orange County are bold, beautiful and statement making. Unlike Tamra, they are not totally one of a kind as they have popped up in a few designer’s collections. But luckily, that means stealing her style far less dramatic than usual.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair


Tamra Judge's Gold Sunburst Earrings

Credit: Tamra Judge on LTK


Style Stealers




Originally posted at: Tamra Judge’s Gold Sunburst Earrings

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Navigating Spousal Support Payments in Divorce Over 60

spousal support payments and alimony

When couples over the age of 60 contemplate divorce, they encounter various factors that influence their decision. Despite sharing a significant portion of their lives together and often maintaining a relatively amicable divorce process, considerations such as spousal support and alimony can still come into play.

At this stage, both parties may have reached a point in their lives where they yearn to explore their individual identities and seek personal fulfillment. With their children having grown up and moved out, these couples realize that their marriage had revolved around parenting and had lost the same level of connection and purpose.

Furthermore, the changing social attitudes towards divorce have diminished the stigma associated with ending long-term marriages, empowering women over 60 to prioritize their own happiness and fulfillment in the years ahead.

In spite of the generally amicable nature of divorces later in life, financial aspects like spousal support, otherwise known as alimony, remain significant considerations. The decision to divorce in one’s later years often entails the division of assets and the establishment of financial support arrangements. Given that one or both parties may have dedicated years to raising a family or supporting the other’s career, spousal support and alimony serve as vital components to ensure a fair post-divorce financial situation.

While personal growth and the pursuit of happiness may drive the divorce process, financial stability and support continue to be substantial factors that need to be addressed, recognizing the contributions and sacrifices made during the course of the marriage. These financial considerations enable individuals over the age of 60 to navigate their newfound independence while ensuring a certain level of support as they embark on the next chapter of their lives.

Can You Receive Alimony if You Divorce After the Age of 60?

After a divorce, individuals over the age of 60, regardless of gender, are entitled to receive alimony, which is also known as spousal support. Alimony refers to court-ordered payments that are granted to a spouse or former spouse as part of a separation or divorce agreement. Its primary objective is to provide financial assistance to the spouse who earns a lower income or, in some cases, no income at all.

Alimony, sometimes referred to as spousal maintenance, can be awarded to both husband and wife in various states. In traditional heterosexual marriages where children are involved, it has been common for the man to assume the role of the primary breadwinner while the woman may have chosen to prioritize raising the children over pursuing a career.

Consequently, after a separation or divorce, the woman may find herself at a financial disadvantage. To address this disparity, many states have enacted laws that uphold the right of a divorced spouse to maintain a similar standard of living to what they had during the marriage.

The purpose of alimony is to ensure that the spouse with lower earnings or no income has the necessary financial resources to support themselves after the marriage ends. It recognizes the contributions and sacrifices made by the recipient spouse during the course of the marriage and aims to mitigate any economic disparities that may arise after a divorce.

Whether it is a man or a woman over the age of 60, alimony plays a vital role in providing the essential financial stability required during this transitional period.

Does Spousal Support Stop If My Ex-Spouse Retires?

Retirement does not automatically result in the termination of spousal support payments. While the specifics of spousal support agreements may vary, retirement is often regarded as a significant change of circumstances that warrants a review of the support arrangement.

If you are the paying spouse and become eligible for retirement, you are not obligated to continue working solely to meet your spousal support obligations. However, it is crucial to follow the proper legal process to ensure compliance with the terms of your divorce and avoid any violations.

To modify or terminate spousal support after retirement, it is necessary to file a request for an order with the court. This allows you to present your case and seek a reduction or termination of your spousal support obligations based on your changed circumstances.

Seeking guidance from an experienced family law attorney can help you navigate the process effectively and understand the relevant factors involved. They can provide valuable assistance in ensuring that your request aligns with the terms of your divorce agreement and address any concerns or objections raised by your ex-spouse.

While retirement can be a valid reason to seek a modification of spousal support, it requires proper legal action to adjust or terminate the support amount. Collaborating with an attorney can provide you with a better understanding of the process and enhance the likelihood of obtaining a favorable outcome in your petition to modify or terminate spousal support after retirement.

What Factors Are Considered When Requesting to Lower the Amount of Alimony in a Gray Divorce?

Courts rely on specific spousal support factors when assessing requests for modification. These factors encompass the duration of the marriage, the individual needs of each spouse, and the paying spouse’s ability to pay based on:

  • Income
  • Assets
  • Earning capacity
  • The couple’s assets
  • Property
  • Debts
  • The needs of any children involved
  • Any history of domestic violence

These factors are carefully evaluated to determine the financial circumstances and requirements of both parties, ensuring a fair and equitable determination of the spousal support amount in gray divorces. By considering these factors, the court aims to strike a balance that addresses the changing circumstances while taking into account the financial well-being of each individual involved.

In gray divorces, the determination of spousal support takes into account various factors. Courts have the authority to modify or terminate a spousal support order when there is a significant change in circumstances.

The paying spouse can request a review of the existing order under circumstances such as injury preventing work, sudden loss of income, retirement, reduced income due to retirement, or the need to work beyond retirement age to make payments.

Furthermore, if the receiving spouse has experienced an increase in earnings through the division of a retirement plan or has become self-supporting, a modification of the spousal support order may be considered.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

If you are divorced, what type of spousal support did you seek? Has your spousal support been modified because of changes in circumstances? Have you had issues with alimony after retirement?

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