Every life transition has both peaks and valleys. We become excited about new possibilities, yet we can’t avoid the shadows. Transitioning into retirement isn’t any different. It’s a glorious and fun-filled time of life. And it has a darker side.

For the record, I chose to retire from full-time work, and it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

But some of us at this life stage have no choice or are forced into a retirement we don’t want or aren’t prepared for. Others crafted a careful plan, and something happened that changed everything.

During my pre-retirement research, I found a lot of valuable, practical advice on creating a financial roadmap, planning for adequate health care, or selecting a location for retirement living.

I didn’t find a lot of shared wisdom around the issues that are harder to talk about.

What I did find were three questions deserving of reflection whether we’re knee deep into a retired life, or we’re looking forward to one in the coming years… and regardless of why we make this change in the first place.

Why Does Retirement Sometimes Feel So Difficult?

Most retirees don’t miss the alarm clock or the demands of their work schedules. There’s a list of things we’re happy we’ve given up and an even longer list of things we still hope to do.

Yet, even if life hasn’t thrown us a curve ball, we sometimes feel at loose ends. We silently admit that retirement is harder than it looks.

Maybe we change homes, making multiple trips to the local charity in our efforts to right size. Or we purge every nook and cranny of our existing homes. There’s little left to organize, paint or re-decorate.

We look around at our orderly living spaces and realize we’re facing a new phase of life as relatively vibrant, admittedly smart people, with more than a few contributions still to make in the world.

And that can feel daunting. The underlying question we have is, “So, now what?”

That’s when the deep work begins. We embark on an inner journey that requires soul searching and heart excavating. How do we replace the old with the new? What does that look like?

The good news is that we can get started right away. The tougher news is that, as with any journey, it may not be easy, and it may take us a little time to arrive.

The better news is that we’re all works in progress, and our quest will probably not follow a straight line. And that’s OK.

Is It Normal to Feel Empty Inside?

We usually celebrate retirement. We get cake, cards, even a party. Or we take a cruise or a trip around the world. As well we should.

Then we go home, and life quiets down. We greet a new normal, but we don’t know exactly what that is. Routines escape us; our natural rhythms are skipping a beat.

It’s natural to feel loss when we leave our careers. It’s normal to feel a little like an empty vessel. Retirement can be unnerving, especially at first and oftentimes at points along the way.

This discomfort can grow if we don’t address it. The key is to fill the emptiness with people and activities that nourish us and contribute to our growth. And to notice whether we’re managing those empty feelings or whether they are managing us.

What’s Next for Me?

As with any life stage, retired life reflects whatever we bring to the party. Your “what’s next” depends on you.

If you loved your work, then it’s possible the only thing you’ll retire is your paycheck. You may stay in your lane and remain involved with your previous world in some capacity.

If there’s something you’ve been dreaming of doing, like start a business or travel, then you’ll probably take that adventure at some point during retirement. If you’ve been longing to just enjoy each day and take things as they come, then you’ll set your course for that.

And if you sink into hopelessness whenever you experience big changes, then you need to be watchful of that tendency at this stage of life, too.

No matter the direction you take, now that your house is in order, it’s time to get busy and to move forward.

Your What’s Next is waiting.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are your concerns about retirement? How are you addressing those concerns? What advice would you give someone considering retirement? Please join the conversation!

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

Judy Garland tragically passed away just two weeks after her 47th birthday in 1962. Her life was cut way too short but even still, she made a huge impact on culture. To celebrate what would have been her 100th birthday this past June, QVC just launched an exclusive bottle and keepsake box of Judy — A Garland Fragrance. This unisex fragrance is inspired by what the iconic actress wore herself and will be exclusive to the retailer until December.

Any fan of Judy Garland or The Wizard of Oz will love the keepsake box with quotes inside by Garland and her family. In addition, there’s a new “note” from the Garland family who stand behind the launch. The fragrance features top notes of dark orchid, coriander, tonka bean, elemi and Judy Garland rose (named after the actress); middle notes of Muguet, honey and pink pepper; and base notes of tobacco, chocolate, musk, amber, bourbon vanilla, caramel and patchouli. It’s not too typically feminine or masculine.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. QVC is a STYLECASTER sponsor, however, all products in this article were independently selected by our editors. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

QVC.

The made-in-Italy bottle will look gorgeous on any vanity. The design was inspired by those famous ruby slippers. Right now, the fragrance and box set is $129 as an introductory offer, though it will normally be $156. It’s a good time to grab it now ahead of the gift-giving season.

QVC.

New customers also get free shipping now through the end of 2022. Use code FREESHIP on your first purchase. Please ensure you are opted-in to receive marketing emails for QVC to receive your coupon to apply towards your future purchases. Happy shopping!

I am a worrier, and I have suffered lifelong from anxiety. I realized that giving into those things were creating a vicious circle. Throughout my entire life, I have allowed worry and anxiety to rob me of the joy in the moment.

Countless moments.

So, I decided this summer that my project for myself was going to work on the act of being present in my life’s moments. To really listen to and take joy in what my grandchildren have to say. To laugh wholeheartedly without worrying, at the same time, about something bad happening over which I have no control. To sink into my husband’s hug and think about nothing else in that moment.

I came across a quote by Buddha that captured it for me completely. He said:

“Be where you are. Otherwise you will miss your life.”

I would encourage everyone reading this to really take in the power of that statement. How much of your life have you missed up until now by not being present? How much are you willing to miss moving forward?

I plan to take my summer of being present into the fall, winter, spring and next summer.

What I’ve Learned in the Process

It’s Hard Work!

Especially at the beginning.

Changing, creating, or discarding any habit is hard work at the beginning.  But, if your “why” is strong enough, you’ll persevere. For me, I was just really tired of looking back on so many fun events in my life and realizing that I wasn’t fully there.

For any of them.

But It Pays Off!

One day in August, after working at this for over two months, I realized that I was truly enjoying the moment and with relatively little effort! I don’t know when it became easier, but it did at some point in the process. Since then, I’ve had several times where I’ve been aware that I’m truly fully present, and it didn’t require me working at it.

There are definitely still and always will be situations where I do have to work at it. Our family is flying to a tropical destination for a family wedding, and I have to work to steer my mind away from worry about all of the possible things that could go wrong and ruin our trip and think instead about all of the positive things that I have to look forward to.

Maintaining my daily journaling habit has been a helpful tool in this journey. Two common reflection areas for me are:

1. What does the version of me look like who is … (whatever I want to fill in the blank with that day);
2. What are my thoughts and feelings that drive my actions, rather than the actual circumstances, AND that I have control over those.

Be Aware of the Barriers That Stand in Your Way

This is a huge topic of its own, but we all have barriers. And 95% of these barriers come from within us. They can stem from deeply ingrained core beliefs about how we view the world, or from general mindset issues.

I have grown up with the core belief that the world is not safe. This is largely where my constant anxiety and worry come from. My awareness of this belief helps me to find proof in my daily life that the world is, indeed, safer than I think.

Tell People What You’re Doing

Telling friends and family will provide you with accountability and, likely, support, as well. My husband has been amazing at giving me a gentle reminder when we are in a situation where he sees that I am not being as present as I could be. Telling others makes us vulnerable, but, typically, that is a mindset issue that we can overcome.

Also, finding a community of others who are working on similar goals is helpful. Those like minded people can be an excellent resource as well as a group who gets what you’re going through. Finding others has never been easier than it is now with all of the social media options, local meetups, etc.

Anxiety Has Been Significantly Less

I find that I am feeling better overall. Physically and emotionally. I am sleeping better and walking almost every day. It is hard for me to know whether I can attribute this wholly to my summer of being present, but I’m sure that there is a correlation.

I challenge everyone today: be where you are so you don’t miss out on your life. Whether we have a day left or 40 years, we deserve to find the joy in our experiences each and every day.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you find that worry and anxiety prevent you from experiencing joy in your day? Do you tend to worry about things that haven’t happened and likely won’t? What possible barriers or core beliefs might you be carrying around that are feeding into this?

Have you ever turned on the heat or air conditioning in your house and felt your skin revolt? Maybe the dry, hot, blasting air dried up your face like a prune, or maybe the wet blanket of humidity made your skin drizzle lard?

Weather and temperature have a huge effect on your skin and navigating those shifts can be baffling. To that end, in this article we will go over some tried and true methods to work with your skin and the ever-changing weather to keep things plump and glowing, your face, that is.

One of the best things that ever happened to me is that I’m a woman. That is the way all females should feel.

Marilyn Monroe (Parade 2022)

With the positivity of Marilyn Monroe, let’s embark on the best strategies to manage temperature changes. Skin care at its most basic includes a good cleanser, moisturizer, C serum (in the morning), and retinol (in the evening). Modifying these products, as well as diet and daily habits can be the clincher for luscious skin through every season.

Going from warm to cold, how does your skin behave? Does it become dehydrated and chapped, or just slightly irritated? For example, as the temperature cools, at times it’s necessary to invest in a creamy cleanser (if you use a foaming cleanser) and a heavier moisturizer that is more hydrating and gentler. Much depends on the severity of the seasonal change, and also your general health.

Skin Care for Warm to Cold Temperatures

If your skin becomes noticeably drier in cold weather, try an oil or creamy cleanser like Bioderma Face Cleansing Oil, and a more deeply hydrating moisturizer like Image MD Restoring Moisturizer. Both are moderately priced and the Image MD moisturizer has the added bonus of having an SPF 50, important in all weather conditions.

Use your C serum daily through all weather, and, if your skin is much more irritated in cold weather, you might have to modulate your retinol use. Therefore, if you use a strong retinol every day in warm weather, you might have to switch to every other day as it cools down.

For you lucky ladies with oily skin, be sure that you use a foaming cleanser like Cetephil and adjust your moisturizer for the season to match your level of dryness. For example, CeraVe Oily Skin Moisturizer is great for all seasons, and during the winter consider avoiding a toner as that can cause undue dryness.

A little note on diet. Colder temperatures can mean an uptake in heavier types of foods and hot beverages. At times, this can tax the digestive system and affect your skin. Specifically, you will notice this in your under-eye area which shows how well your liver is doing.

One on-camera talent I worked with would, after a heavy lunch, look like a Panda no matter how much concealer I used on him! Once he did a cleanse, the issue greatly improved. Another suggestion is to increase your gut flora with supplements, which is never a bad idea no matter the season.

Skin Care for Cold to Warm Temperatures

About two months ago I moved to Cuenca, Ecuador to live, and consequently shifted from a brutally hot summer in Colorado, to what’s considered winter here in Ecuador. Cuenca sits at about 10,000 feet above sea level, so the temperatures are moderate, and locals are under the delusion that 50 degrees at night is cold!

Having lived in Colorado where 20 degrees is considered cold, the adjustment for me was in a higher humidity (it’s about 85% now) and no pollution. Amazing. As we shift into summer in October, I’m noticing I need far less moisturizer, and more sunscreen with a stronger sunshine and lots of time outdoors.

In fact, some days I don’t need moisturizer at all and my C serum in the morning is plenty of hydration. On days when I do need moisturizer, I use Tatcha Harper Water Crème. It’s hydrating without being heavy or oily. For a budget friendly version try Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Creme, it contains hyaluronic acid and a rich formula perfect for normal skin.

Another note on diet. In warmer months, we can tend to drink cold drinks which tax the system as much if not more than heavy foods in winter. I know about half of you just rolled your eyes at that comment but take into consideration that in Singapore if you ask for a drink, they give you warm water.

Singapore is 90 degrees on a good day with 95% humidity, so why the warm water? Warm drinks cool the system, while cold drinks actually heat it up! It feels counterintuitive, but it can benefit your skin to have a calmer system that doesn’t have to work so hard. If you have sensitive and irritated skin, maybe try altering this part of your diet.

Avoiding lard dripping down your face, being a walking prune, or having Panda eyes can keep anyone blessed enough to be a woman busy. Having said that, a little knowledge and the right strategies can make a huge difference and keep your skin happy no matter what the weather.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you notice any changes in your skin as the weather changes? Have you noticed something similar when you travel to different destinations? What do you do to compensate and properly care for your skin?

Are you experiencing emotions of sadness and grief while coping with the loss of a pet? Are you unable to even imagine moving forward into your life again without them? Would you like to tell your buddy once again that you love them?

I understand. It can be really difficult to accept the passing of your animal friend from the physical form to the spirit form. This physical separation can create a huge gap of unexplained emotions.

Coping with the loss of a pet can be overwhelming and at times emotionally paralyzing. You probably already know that grieving for your pet is painful and can leave you feeling miserable.

There is no perfect way to grieve. You received a lot from your animal and will always have in your heart the love he or she gave to you.

Also know that grieving is normal and very unique to you. No two people grieve the same, and it all depends on your experiences with previous loss, cause of death, support system and your beliefs around death.

Give yourself all the time that you need to go through the grieving process, as there are no shortcuts. Experiencing the pain of your loss is an essential part of working through and integrating your grief.

Heartache is numbing, and at moments of grief it is important to take care of yourself. There are many ways that this can be done. Here are some of the ways in which I offer pet grief support and help my clients take charge to transform their grief to joy after their animal dies.

Grieving the Loss of a Pet Is Normal

Grief equals mixed feelings of despair, anger, guilt, shock, denial, pain, bargaining, reflection, loneliness and more! Writing, talking about and expressing how you feel in a supportive atmosphere can help you transform your feelings.

Your Endearing Bond

The bond that you shared with your animal was filled with love, caring, endearment, tenderness, fondness and enthusiasm.

So, focusing on how your lives and routines evolved over the years, will strengthen the continued relationship that you can have with them in the after life!

Cherishing the End-of-Life Experience

Feelings of fear, panic, failure or catastrophe are very common during the end-of-life process. The time when your companion is at the end-of-life stages can bring up a lot of feelings.

It’s helpful to remember that death means that your friend’s life has simply come to an end as all life eventually does. Being compassionate to yourself and thanking your animal for all that was shared can help you be better prepared as you make some important decisions.

Welcoming Joy Back into Your Life

Feeling moments of joy after your animal dies is not a cause for you to feel guilty. Fortifying yourself with positive thoughts about your life with your animal never betrays your companion. Instead, this is what your animal really wants from you – to honor the joyful relationship that you shared!

So remember, even though your pet has died, they are always accessible to you. With your heart and soul, you are able to be in contact with them and hear what they have to say, which has helped many of my clients transform their grief to joy.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Can you share with us ways in which you cherished your pet and welcomed joy back into your life? What are special things in particular that bring you happiness when you remember your pet? Please join the conversation below!