Joan and Stanley went to visit their financial adviser, with the express intent of getting all their financial questions answered. Headed towards their late 70s, and facing a possible further two decades (or maybe more), they were concerned that their investments might not support them for this length of time.

“Now,” said Joan, after the adviser had told them about percentage changes in their various investments, “what about if I am left alone after Stanley dies? We know this is the most likely scenario, and we want to make sure that I will have enough money.”

The adviser squirmed. This was a difficult one – here was the kind of question his own wife had been asking him, and he simply could not contemplate it. It meant facing his own mortality, and while he dealt with planning ahead for the most part really well, when it came to more personal questions like this, that touched on his own life, he couldn’t really cope.

“You’ll be fine,” he stuttered, “let me come back to you later in the week on the fine details. In the meantime, have you seen how ___ company is performing?”

This is not an uncommon situation, even with professionals whom you might think would be perfectly placed to discuss this kind of thing.

But if someone is not at peace with their own death; if they have not addressed their own situation with an open heart plus the pragmatism needed to create a proper end of life plan, then how can they possibly help you?

Here are 3 important questions to ask your financial adviser (or prospective one) to discover if they really can help you with the more personal side of financial planning:

How Have You Dealt with This for Yourself?

This question can be applied to any situation, for instance, if you are trying to decide how to split up theoretical financial sums between your spouse and your children upon your death.

If your adviser is at all uncomfortable about their own situation, whether it applies or not, you will find yourself being fobbed off, or at best with an unsatisfactory answer. At the very least, they are unlikely to have done the necessary research to be able to advise you well.

What Would You Advise in Light of a Recent Early Onset Alzheimer’s Diagnosis?

Another really difficult one, for everyone concerned. But your adviser needs to be at least relatively comfortable with the topic, and discussing it in this personal situation, to be able to do their job properly.

If they haven’t thought about this for themselves and their family, then it will limit their ability to advise you – it is entirely possible that they wouldn’t even know about the costs involved in various nursing home situations, simply because it is too painful to confront for their own situation.

What Is Your Advice as to How Best to Budget for a Live-In Carer?

Again, this invites the obvious, which is that we are all aging, and it is very likely that at least one person in the room is going to need extra care at home. Especially if your adviser is a lot younger, it might be hard for them to contemplate this, not just for themselves and their own parents, but for their clients as a result.

All these scenarios bring the fact of aging in a deteriorating body into full view. It may be unpalatable for some, but it is a fact that, if ignored, can bring some really drastic consequences, which are entirely preventable – if only everyone involved is willing to talk about a potentially emotive subject with a practical head on.

How to get that practical head on? The easiest way I know is to prepare well in advance for later life by making sure all this is taken care of while aging is still at a ‘theoretical’ stage, so to speak. In other words, find out now what you need to constitute a good end-of-life plan for yourself and take the actions necessary to put it in place.

Have you been planning for end-of-life scenarios? How involved is your financial adviser? Are they comfortable discussing end-of-life issues in relation to financial planning?

A suggestion from my wise older brother several years ago resulted in spending a few days traveling with our other siblings. On the second day of our travels, it occurred to me that this was the longest space of time I had spent with several sisters and brothers since my late teens.

There are many reasons sibling relationships vary. In families where there are large age gaps between children, older siblings may have grown up when you were still a toddler.

In any case, brothers and sisters move into adulthood, develop different interests, move to distant locations, build families and careers. Then, the children are raised, you’ve retired from that demanding job and have the time and opportunity to revisit those relationships.

The suggestion from my brother was a visit to an aunt who lived several states away. The purpose was to help her celebrate a 90th birthday.

Beyond a visit with a wonderful aunt, there was a rebuilding and re-bonding of relationships with sisters and brothers. At this new stage in life, we were able to share some of those blank spots when we were out of touch. It was a good opportunity to get to know each other again.

We’ve done several “sibling road trips” since that initial one. They are remembered as precious time and hold many dear memories. I’d recommend a joint excursion among senior siblings and have five suggestions to help with your planning.

Have a Purpose

Do you have a purpose for your get-together? Are you traveling to a special family event or visiting a national park? A selected agreed-to destination and interest by all will help the plan move forward. Sometimes having a purpose for the trip can give it a special meaning and focus.

Decide on a Mode of Transportation

Trains and planes are quicker, but a vehicle will place all of you in a close conversation area for those catch-up discussions. In our case, we rented a very comfortable van, changed drivers frequently, and spontaneously made some pull-overs at interesting sights.

Plan Some Stops

Beyond the ultimate purpose of your destination, have some stops planned along the way that are fun and brief. We’ve gone a few miles out of the way to try out a restaurant recently reviewed to have the best burger in the Midwest.

Make the Trip Accessible

It’s seldom that each of your senior siblings will have the same level of flexibility and mobility. Plan so that comfort and interest works for all. Make the trip accessible for all. Plan for stops, respect mobility issues and make the trip a pleasant experience for everyone, regardless of their physical situation.

Create Your Own Sibling Circle

For those of you who are an only child, or because of circumstances have become one, create your own sibling circle from friends of many years past, cousins, whatever makeup works for you.

Have you had experiences rekindling sibling relationships? Have you traveled as a pack? I’d like to know how it worked for you so do share in the comments below!

In today’s episode of “Why Is This a Trend,” TikTokers are swearing by vabbing, a marriage of “vagina” and “dabbing,” which, just as it sounds, involves using your own vaginal fluids as perfume. The idea? To attract a date with those pheromones. The trend has taken off so much, Urban Dictionary added it to its website: “I’m going out tonight and I’ll be vabbing to get ready.”

According to The Tab, the term “vabbing” started in 2018 on a podcast episode of the Secret Keepers Club, hosted by Carly Aquilino and Emma Willmann. We first saw it on TikTok from users Mandy Lee (@oldloserinbrooklyn) and @jewlieah. (It looks like Lee has taken her video down.)

“I swear if you vab, you will attract people like a date or a one-night stand or you’ll just get free drinks all night,” Lee said in her video. Elle Woods should have been teaching vabbing instead of the bend-and-snap because it’s more effective.”

On the flip side, @jewlieah added “VABTOK” to her TikTok bio so she’s down to talk about it. “I’ve been doing it for a week and it’s been working out for me,” she says. She goes through the basics of vabbing, such as washing your hands before and after (duh) and holding off if you have an active STD.

So, does it work? Well, the pros say no. But of course, you can do whatever works for you! Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN and a pain medicine physician, took to TikTok to speak about the trend. “Humans don’t have a functioning vomeronasal organ, which is the organ that you need to actually process pheromones,” she says. “There’s no evidence that human behavior is driven by pheromones.”

So, there you have it! Maybe instead go for an enticing perfume, like Phlur’s Missing Person ($96 at Phlur), that some say “smells like being in love.”

I have to admit that I rarely make desserts. We get our sugar fix with fruit, but every once in a while I decide it is time to enjoy a real dessert. Most of the desserts I do create include fruit, as it is a healthy and delicious way to get our servings of fruit.

Summer is much easier for thinking sweet with an abundance of melons, berries and other wonderful bounty that fill my refrigerator.

I usually run to the fridge when hungry or want something sweet and grab a handful of berries. I always have a bowl of cut-up melon and fresh berries in the fridge for quick snacking.

This is a great way to keep you from the cookie jar. We always buy fruit in season or on sale to keep the cost down. With most of these recipes you can substitute different berries that are on sale that day.

Please note that my sweetener of choice is Xylitol which has no after taste and is reported to help regulate blood sugar. Xylitol also has about half the calories as regular sugar.

Chocolate Avocado Mousse

My favorite healthy dessert is chocolate avocado mousse. You may have seen recipes for this avocado mousse, but I add a few different ingredients.

Ingredients

3 ripe avocados

3/4 cup of cacao powder, the raw unprocessed version of cocoa powder

2 tablespoons of xylitol (a healthy sugar substitute)

1/2 cup of coconut milk (regular milk will work)

1 cup of raspberries

1 tablespoon of raspberry liquor (optional)

Directions

• Mash the avocados until smooth.
• Add the cacao powder and blend well.
• Add the xylitol in small amounts until you are satisfied with how sweet you like the mousse.
• Mix the milk in the avocado blend and stir until smooth.
• Blend the raspberries in the mousse mixture.
• Add the liquor and mix well.
• Refrigerate for at least two hours.

Fruit and Yogurt Whip

This dessert can substitute for a fruit salad and can be used for a quick lunch during the summer. This fruit dessert keeps for about four days in the fridge, and is great for snacking when the sweet tooth becomes live.

Ingredients

1 pint of plain Greek Yogurt (full fat)

1 cup of blueberries

3 peaches, cubed

2 cups of chopped pineapple

3 kiwis, chopped

1 cup of strawberries

1/4 cup of honey

1 cup of coconut (optional)

Directions

• Blend the honey, yogurt and blueberries in the blender until the yogurt becomes blue in color and is very smooth.
• Taste the yogurt blend to make sure it is sweet enough for your taste, and if not, add more honey.
• Blend the coconut into the yogurt mixture.
• Add the yogurt mixture carefully into the fruit, making sure all is well blended.
• Refrigerate for at least one hour.

Fruit Yogurt Dip

The fruit and yogurt dip is great for dipping chunks of oranges, peaches, pineapple and even melons.

Ingredients

1 pint of Greek Yogurt

1/2 cup each of raspberries and strawberries

2 mint leaves

1 tablespoon of cinnamon

2 tablespoons of Xylitol or honey

Directions

Blend all the ingredients together in your blender until smooth, and serve with chilled chunks of fruit. This recipe is really fun for dinner parties, and your guests can have as much as they want.

Do you have any favorite healthy summer desserts? Please share your favorites in the comments below!

Marlo Hampton’s Pink Printed Dress Shopping with Sheree and Sanya

Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 14 Episode 9 Fashion

Marlo Hampton looked fab in her pink printed dress while shopping for her home. I love how she paired a mini dress with a fur vest because that way you can still rock it in the cold. And with that being said, we all need to do a little shopping of our own. Because a Style Stealer of this dress would be the perfect addition to our home.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her Rhode Dress

Originally posted at: Marlo Hampton’s Pink Printed Dress