After being single for several months, I felt it was time to get back up on the dating horse – but I was too afraid of online dating after 50.

Well, online dating is pretty much the way of the world nowadays, and if you want to meet someone single of the opposite sex, or same sex, your best chance for success is the internet.

But, let me tell you, it is not for the faint of heart, so put on your big girl pants and make the decision to dive in head first – or just stay stranded on dry land.

The First Step to Online Dating: Set Up Your Profile

I have found that you don’t need to write a book about yourself when setting up a profile. Just upload a few good photos that depict you as you really are and share the vitals: number of children and what you like to do. That’s really all you need.

But here’s an important tidbit: Do not post photos of your cat!

More than one man has told me not to do that. And for the record, men, don’t post photos of your motorcycle! Also, don’t use photos that were taken when you were 30 pounds lighter. Sooner or later the truth comes out.

Don’t Linger on Texting

I had to learn that maintaining a texting relationship on a dating site for too long just gets you nowhere. I used to spend quite a bit of time doing that, but it doesn’t really help in getting to know the other person, and it just eats time.

After a few exchanges, make a plan to have coffee or lunch or a drink, obviously in a public place. Yes, you are taking a little bit of a risk, but all you have to lose is a little time. If the experience is unsatisfactory, you can always say that you have another engagement afterward.

That’s how I do it.

I have also worked out a strategy that seems to work well. If I feel like the person and I just don’t fit at all, I take the check for our two drinks, pay it quickly and get on my way.

Another strategy that is quite helpful is that I often take Uber. That way there is no awkward moment of getting into my car. I can just say, “Oh, my Uber is here. Thank you for meeting me.” Done.

It’s easy and no one gets hurt.

You Have to Put Yourself Out There

Let me say that I have met some great guys online, but that would have never happened without putting myself out there. Without being proactive, I would still be sitting in my one-room loft, petting my dog and knitting something out of his hair (just kidding)!

I have dated some men who turned out not to be a fit, but we went out a couple of times because we enjoyed the same music, movies, etc. It was fun.

You might think you are too good for online dating. You and your imaginary boyfriend will live happily ever after with that attitude.

One thing I have learned from being single after more than 30 years of marriage is that the only person who is going to help me create a life that I want to live is me. And, I think that I would like to have a man in my life. He might not be my main focus, but it’s nice to have someone with whom to go to the movies.

Don’t wait for Prince Charming to find you. Don’t think that your dentist’s sister’s cousin’s neighbor is just going to show up at your door. Take control of your love life and make it go in the positive direction you want.

What is your funniest dating story? Do you want/need a man/woman by your side? What would it take for you to try online dating? Let’s get the conversation going!

We all know that as our bodies age, numerous changes take place. Some of these changes are good, some not-so-good, some we know about – some we do not.

For instance, you may not know that nutritional needs are among the top items that can change the most with age. However, some common misconceptions and fallacies surrounding these changes can have severe consequences if not properly managed.

Today I would like to take the opportunity to provide some clarity, guidance, and helpful information which will empower you to make choices that improve daily performance while diminishing the risk of preventable medical issues. 

Myths and Facts About Nutrition

Below are some of the more common myths and the scientifically supported facts which help to set the story straight: 

Myth #1

Those 65 and older have slower metabolisms with lower activity levels and do not need as many nutrients daily. 

Fact

Though overall energy needs may indeed change, the number of nutrients needed to remain healthy increases as we age, making eating nutrient-dense foods more important as portion sizes often need to be substantially smaller to maintain a healthy body weight.

Myth #2

Healthy weight management is not essential for those of retirement age. 

Fact

Maintaining a healthy body weight not only makes it easier for your body to function as it should while reducing health issues, but it also makes getting around much easier and less exhausting. Overweight elders who become sedentary lose mobility much faster and overall require substantially more care going into advanced age.(This extra care can cost thousands of dollars per month.)

Myth #3 

It’s ok to skip meals if you don’t feel hungry.

Fact

Skipping meals regularly can be detrimental, leading to irregular blood sugar levels, increased fatigue levels, diminished cognitive function, digestive system issues, disease brought on by nutrient deficiencies, and significantly lowered immune function.

Myth #4

In general, overall good health has very little to do with nutrition, and as you age, it is more important to eat only the things you like. 

Fact

Arguably, clean/healthy nutrition is more critical for achieving/maintaining good health than just doing regular exercise. As you age, the body becomes less forgiving with the things you choose to put into it, and the quality of what you consume becomes more crucial.

Good to Know 

The everyday items listed below are among the worst for sound weight management, keeping your body healthy, and promoting a positive energy balance.

Simple Carbohydrates

These are the sugars and starches that cause you the most problems as far as weight and blood sugar control. When consumed, these immediately begin to impact insulin levels which also aids in facilitating fat storage. 

Examples would be: All items sweetened with sugar, white bread, white rice, bakery goods, candy bars, sugar-sweetened sodas, granola bars, yogurt, etc. 

When it comes to carbohydrates, your body needs and HAS to have them, however not in the fashion that we’ve become accustomed to as a society. Natural and complex (un-processed/high-fiber) carbohydrates are the best rule of thumb for controlling blood sugar and body weight. 

Gluten

This is a protein found in wheat that does not break down into essential amino acids (which are building blocks for cell structures). Instead, these proteins attach themselves to the internal lining of the intestines, causing permeability of the intestinal wall and allowing waste and bacteria to enter the bloodstream.

This issue could lead to elevated blood toxicity, irritation in the gut, and autoimmune disease. Conversely, a daily diet with low or eliminated exposure to glutens poses no risks or side effects and will promote increased digestive health. 

Artificial Sweeteners

Aspartame (Equal), sodium saccharin (Sweet’n Low), sugar alcohol (sorbitol, glycol, xylitol, etc.), sucralose(Splenda). *ALL NATURAL Stevia is an excellent substitute! 

Though these products intend to reduce calories, lower sugar content in foods, and create “healthier alternatives,” most do just the opposite and can be quite toxic (for example, aspartame is synthesized into formaldehyde as it is digested).

Food Additives/Processed Foods

These chemicals are added to our commercially produced foods. Most are utilized as flavor enhancers,
color enhancers, shelf stabilizers, and preservatives.

Examples would be sodium nitrate, saccharine, caffeine, olestra, food dyes, agene, Ethelene glycol, dulcin, and a HUGE list of insanely long words that we do not have space for. Not only can these have ill effects on their own, but cumulatively can inhibit efficient metabolic function, distort nutrient absorption, and foster weight gain. 

Alcohol 

Alcohol is known for – and consumed for – its inebriating properties, but also has the undesired effects of being linked to heart disease, liver disease, kidney disease, compromised metabolism, and enhances the side effects of multitudes of other substances through interaction leading to severe organ damage and, like cigarettes, even death (with regular portion sizes exceeding 5oz).

Extreme caution must also be given when taking prescription medications as alcohol consumption can cause adverse reactions or negatively impact the efficacy.

All of the above are very easy to limit, replace, or remove altogether and still enjoy an expansive palate of foods, beverages, and treats that make life fun and keep your body healthy!

What food habit myths have you heard? Why do you think they are myths? Do you think this kind of information is helpful for everyday living?

I’m not trying to brag too much here, but I’m pretty certain that I have one of the coolest, most enviable jobs around. Reason being? I scour the internet for the best shopping deals and coolest trends every day, and get to test out so many amazing new clothing pieces, beauty products, and home goods. I’ve been a shopping writer and editor for a few years now, and have developed a knack for determining which products are worth every penny, and which ones are better left in the virtual cart. 

This month is all about stepping into the fall comfortably. Stores like Target are beginning to roll out their fall home lines and sites are seeing increased search interest in moisturizing and clarifying products (makes sense, given that temps are sadly going to plummet and the air is about to dry). Amazon’s Movers & Shakers page—a section that shows what items are rising in popularity—is filled to the brim with soothing lotions and oils. Google is being inundated with “fall fashion” inquiries and people on Pinterest are starting to search for pumpkin recipes and candles once more. 

My shopping carts fit the bill for these fall trends perfectly. I’m shopping for nourishing face masks, sleek platform loafers, and cozy throw blankets to start my cold weather months off the right way. Check out the eight essentials I’ll be buying this September below: 

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Target is a STYLECASTER sponsor, however, all products in this article were independently selected by our editors. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Courtesy: Neutrogena.

Neutrogena Anti-Residue Clarifying Shampoo

I don’t know what it is about spending so much time indoors, but ever since the pandemic began, my scalp has been a mess. I’ve experienced more dandruff and dryness these past two years than I have collectively my entire life. My one saving grace? This simple clarifying shampoo. It removes icky product build-up from dry shampoos and conditioners without stripping my hair of its natural oils. For best results, I swap this product with my typical purple shampoo once or twice a week. 

Courtesy: Sam Edelman.

Sam Edelman Laurs Platform Loafer 

I’m of the belief that if you have a good pair of loafers, you can wear them across every season. I love the androgynous vibe of the shoes. They’re punk and sexy at the same time. Unfortunately, most quality pairs are a few hundred dollars. That’s why, when I found these Sam Edelman ones, I squealed out loud with glee. The Olivia Rodrigo-esque shoes platforms come in black, tan, or green and pair them with practically every dress or pair of pants you’ve got hanging in your closet. 

Courtesy: Target.

Cable Knit Chenille Throw Blanket

There is no problem that curling into a cozy throw blanket can’t solve. This is why at the beginning of every fall season, I gift myself a new one. I love the look of all things cable knit. The sophisticated design makes tops and accessories like this blanket, which is just $25, look so much more expensive than they are. 

Courtesy: Nest New York.

Nest Pumpkin Chai Candle

It’s time for society to pass the point of calling everything pumpkin scented or flavored basic. Let’s all just agree that pumpkin anything is delicious and should be celebrated, not mocked. This September, I’m going all in on candles. Nest’s Pumpkin Chai candle is everything I want to cover my space. The spice scent is decadent without being overwhelming. Plus, the candle itself is a warm orange. You can’t find a better fall candle than this. 

Courtesy: Mr. Coffee.

Mr. Coffee Mug Warmer

I’m fairly certain that this clever coffee invention was made for me. It ensures that slow sippers (moi) won’t ever have to deal with lukewarm drinks ever again. To use it, all you have to do is flip the switch on, and the base will warm your cup’s bottom and keep the liquids inside nice and hot. I’ll be keeping this accessory on my WFH desk at all times. 

Courtesy: Free People.

Free People Picnic Sweater Romper

This fall, I don’t want to wear anything that requires more than a little effort to put on. Jeans? Absolutely not. A button-up shirt? You’ve got to be kidding. Heels? Please, don’t make me laugh. But this sweater romper? Sign me tf up. It’s like wearing a stylish and socially acceptable set of onesie pajamas. I plan to keep it on at home during work and lounge time, then dress it up when I go out with tights and combat boots. It’s such a simple look, but those are the best ones to style again and again.  

Courtesy: PÜR.

PÜR 4-in-1 Sculpting Concealer 

There are very few people I trust with makeup advice. One of them is Rachel Nussbaum, InStyle’s beauty writer. She knows everything there is to know about the ingredients that comprise popular foundations, hairsprays, etc. Her vast knowledge comes with a lot of heartbreak. She often tells me (and her readers) of the harmful irritants that are too-often included in name brand products, so when there’s a brand she approves of, I take note. Rachel told me that Pur is on her list of A-Okay concealers, so I’m hopping on this 4-in-1 color corrector faster than a kid on a trampoline. It comes in 16 shades, costs under $25, and is free from the nastiness of phthalates, aluminum, and talc.

Courtesy: Summer Fridays.

Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask

I’m a writer living in New York. Translation: I don’t have an income that gives me the means to spend hefty amounts of cash on skincare (nor do I want to). Spending close to $50 on a face mask would physically and emotionally pain me if I didn’t already know and love this one so much. I’ve been using Summer Fridays’ Jet Lag Mask for years. It saved my skin when I was on Accutane, and continues to be my secret to non-greasy hydration. I’d say I have to stock up on it about every five months, and this September is one of them. I’ll be using it to prevent cracked winter skin, and before date nights or brunches to give me a Hailey Bieber-esque glow.

In our 60s, attending to our needs and improving our relationships is more important than ever before. Time is of the essence, but making the most of our time takes practice. One way to enrich our lives is by applying boundaries to accommodate what is essential.

We intentionally mark our choices that honor our values. This article will explore the necessity for boundaries and how this helps us be our most aligned selves.

Don’t Be Afraid to Say No

“No is a complete sentence.”

—Anne Lamott

Defining boundaries, bear in mind that we use the word “no” without fear of reactions from others. Your ability to create, set and maintain boundaries originates in your beliefs and values. If you value your wellbeing, you bring your needs into the mix even when others need you to save the day for them.

Indeed, I’m not suggesting we turn our backs on others. However, our behaviors swing back to honor our needs as a priority.

Not too long ago, I needed to create and maintain a boundary with my daughter, who happened to call me at the final hour, requiring me to babysit. Of course, during an emergency, I would be there as best I could. The pattern was that she had not prepared an alternative person to get my grandson off the bus if she would be late getting back from work.

So, on more than one occasion, in came the call, usually while I was still working. If I didn’t answer the phone, I would see her text, and I immediately envisioned my grandchild unattended. It wasn’t fun.

I cleared my schedule and ran to get him. But then it happened again, and I knew I had taught my daughter that I would help at the final hour when she poorly planned. It was time to take out my training and create a boundary.

I needed the courage to accept she might resort to her typical past teenage behaviors and have a verbal meltdown. That usually didn’t end well. I identified my misbelief that being a good mom and nana meant I was there to save the day when needed.

First, I identified my misbelief and my fears regarding her reactions. My boundary to her was a gentle solid statement. “I realize you are accustomed to me being there to help when you need to get Jonny off the bus on short notice. I am responsible for not mentioning I cannot do that. Moving forward, I ask for at least twenty-four-hour notice.”

Her reaction wasn’t ideal, but I knew not to absorb her behavior as being my responsibility. Luckily, I haven’t had to deal with any violations to my boundary, which would have been limiting my availability even more. Maintaining the boundary means saying “no” each time, barring an urgent situation not tied to her poor planning habits.

Courage and Strength to Do Our Best

Creating and maintaining boundaries can be difficult, especially if we allow ourselves to act on our fears. Those we need to set boundaries with are usually not pleased by our statements, and the price of discomfort may be high. Finding our courage and strength to remember that we have been through difficult situations before will help us do it again.

We might have taken the stance of placing others’ requests and their urgency over our own needs. I learned that allowing myself to rescue my daughter by dropping my commitments left me to work longer hours which caused me stress. If I value my wellbeing and honestly believe that I am the only one responsible for caring for me, then my behaviors will reflect those values.

Mindset Shift 101

Logical in principle but not always simple to navigate. It takes a mindset shift that committed self-care, including mind, body, spirit, and emotions, is not selfish. It is essential. We choose to care for ourselves by honoring our time and values deliberately. Boundaries bring us closer to those we love, even ourselves, with respect, not fear.

If we are hesitant to dive right into a firm stated boundary, we can start by giving cues or gestures. Facial expressions are a signal to them that confirms our stance. We can also choose not to answer the phone or not reply to the text immediately.

Got Secret Sauce?

It is beneficial to have supportive relationships to encourage us to honor our well-being. Having friends that remind us that it’s ok not to overextend ourselves is critical. It takes courage to tell others you struggle in this area and ask for support. Our genuine connection with other women is the secret sauce to wellbeing.

When we care for ourselves and others, we can compassionately say no with resolve. There is no need for self-critical judgment. If we toggle between feeling undeserving and knowing we count, it’s time for a mindset shift.

Got Comfort?

Remember your values and celebrate your unique self. In my morning routine, I remind myself God loves me. God’s love and acceptance bring me great comfort. I tend not to argue with God about this fact. I know God is infinitely wiser than me; I am secure in who I am. This comfort provides permission to have a healthy intimate relationship with myself.

Value Self-Love

No doubt, relationships can be challenging to navigate. Especially our relationship with ourselves. How do we balance our needs that honor our values and beliefs? Perseverance, open-mindedness, kindness, and loyalty are all values. We often think of our values relating to others. Have we applied values to our well-being?

Boundaries are about knowing when to say yes and when to say no. Healthy boundaries guide us to connect with those we love respectfully. Yes, self-love too! Boundaries open the door for more beneficial relationships that include your voice and your needs. It takes courage to implement and enforce limits so that you can meet your needs.

Five Tips to Creating Boundaries

1. Examine your values and beliefs regarding your role in relationships. If you’re being alerted, there are some glitches in your views. Meditate, journal, and/or speak to a trusted friend or professional and process your beliefs. Do the self-talk, remind yourself that your needs are essential and valuable.
2. Permit yourself to attend to your needs compassionately. We are not mean or selfish when we say no; it makes us wise.
3. Start slowly by resurrecting your assertiveness skills. Decide to make your voice heard despite your fear of repercussions.
4. Create a game plan to communicate your boundary. Healthy boundaries are clearly stated, easy to remember, and can be adhered to.
5. Extend empathy, kindness, and respect as you would like to receive. When your boundary is respected, let the person know your appreciation.

What are your experiences of creating boundaries? What made the boundaries necessary to establish? Can you share a story where you needed to create healthy boundaries with a friend/family member?

I’m not trying to brag too much here, but I’m pretty certain that I have one of the coolest, most enviable jobs around. Reason being? I scour the internet for the best shopping deals and coolest trends every day, and get to test out so many amazing new clothing pieces, beauty products, and home goods. I’ve been a shopping writer and editor for a few years now, and have developed a knack for determining which products are worth every penny, and which ones are better left in the virtual cart. 

This month is all about stepping into the fall comfortably. Stores like Target are beginning to roll out their fall home lines and sites are seeing increased search interest in moisturizing and clarifying products (makes sense, given that temps are sadly going to plummet and the air is about to dry). Amazon’s Movers & Shakers page—a section that shows what items are rising in popularity—is filled to the brim with soothing lotions and oils. Google is being inundated with “fall fashion” inquiries and people on Pinterest are starting to search for pumpkin recipes and candles once more. 

My shopping carts fit the bill for these fall trends perfectly. I’m shopping for nourishing face masks, sleek platform loafers, and cozy throw blankets to start my cold weather months off the right way. Check out the eight essentials I’ll be buying this September below: 

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Target is a STYLECASTER sponsor, however, all products in this article were independently selected by our editors. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Courtesy: Neutrogena.

Neutrogena Anti-Residue Clarifying Shampoo

I don’t know what it is about spending so much time indoors, but ever since the pandemic began, my scalp has been a mess. I’ve experienced more dandruff and dryness these past two years than I have collectively my entire life. My one saving grace? This simple clarifying shampoo. It removes icky product build-up from dry shampoos and conditioners without stripping my hair of its natural oils. For best results, I swap this product with my typical purple shampoo once or twice a week. 

Courtesy: Sam Edelman.

Sam Edelman Laurs Platform Loafer 

I’m of the belief that if you have a good pair of loafers, you can wear them across every season. I love the androgynous vibe of the shoes. They’re punk and sexy at the same time. Unfortunately, most quality pairs are a few hundred dollars. That’s why, when I found these Sam Edelman ones, I squealed out loud with glee. The Olivia Rodrigo-esque shoes platforms come in black, tan, or green and pair them with practically every dress or pair of pants you’ve got hanging in your closet. 

Courtesy: Target.

Cable Knit Chenille Throw Blanket

There is no problem that curling into a cozy throw blanket can’t solve. This is why at the beginning of every fall season, I gift myself a new one. I love the look of all things cable knit. The sophisticated design makes tops and accessories like this blanket, which is just $25, look so much more expensive than they are. 

Courtesy: Nest New York.

Nest Pumpkin Chai Candle

It’s time for society to pass the point of calling everything pumpkin scented or flavored basic. Let’s all just agree that pumpkin anything is delicious and should be celebrated, not mocked. This September, I’m going all in on candles. Nest’s Pumpkin Chai candle is everything I want to cover my space. The spice scent is decadent without being overwhelming. Plus, the candle itself is a warm orange. You can’t find a better fall candle than this. 

Courtesy: Mr. Coffee.

Mr. Coffee Mug Warmer

I’m fairly certain that this clever coffee invention was made for me. It ensures that slow sippers (moi) won’t ever have to deal with lukewarm drinks ever again. To use it, all you have to do is flip the switch on, and the base will warm your cup’s bottom and keep the liquids inside nice and hot. I’ll be keeping this accessory on my WFH desk at all times. 

Courtesy: Free People.

Free People Picnic Sweater Romper

This fall, I don’t want to wear anything that requires more than a little effort to put on. Jeans? Absolutely not. A button-up shirt? You’ve got to be kidding. Heels? Please, don’t make me laugh. But this sweater romper? Sign me tf up. It’s like wearing a stylish and socially acceptable set of onesie pajamas. I plan to keep it on at home during work and lounge time, then dress it up when I go out with tights and combat boots. It’s such a simple look, but those are the best ones to style again and again.  

Courtesy: PÜR.

PÜR 4-in-1 Sculpting Concealer 

There are very few people I trust with makeup advice. One of them is Rachel Nussbaum, InStyle’s beauty writer. She knows everything there is to know about the ingredients that comprise popular foundations, hairsprays, etc. Her vast knowledge comes with a lot of heartbreak. She often tells me (and her readers) of the harmful irritants that are too-often included in name brand products, so when there’s a brand she approves of, I take note. Rachel told me that Pur is on her list of A-Okay concealers, so I’m hopping on this 4-in-1 color corrector faster than a kid on a trampoline. It comes in 16 shades, costs under $25, and is free from the nastiness of phthalates, aluminum, and talc.

Courtesy: Summer Fridays.

Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask

I’m a writer living in New York. Translation: I don’t have an income that gives me the means to spend hefty amounts of cash on skincare (nor do I want to). Spending close to $50 on a face mask would physically and emotionally pain me if I didn’t already know and love this one so much. I’ve been using Summer Fridays’ Jet Lag Mask for years. It saved my skin when I was on Accutane, and continues to be my secret to non-greasy hydration. I’d say I have to stock up on it about every five months, and this September is one of them. I’ll be using it to prevent cracked winter skin, and before date nights or brunches to give me a Hailey Bieber-esque glow.