When I am feeling hemmed in, the desire to get in the car and head out on a road trip is never far from my mind. Travel by plane, train or bus is fine, but there is something about an automobile that lends an extra air of freedom.

The Urge to Get Going

During this long pandemic, I was missing my sister. A road trip to visit came to mind. During a telephone conversation a few months back, I suggested I could safely drive through four states to visit her. I would add a pop-up tent with a ladder to climb up and make it my makeshift hotel room.

She reminded me we would not be able to do more than wave to each other from a distance so why bother. Such were the crazy schemes that go through a woman’s mind during times like these.

Taking Action

It was for that reason that I laughed aloud while reading a New York Times article about a grandmother, Su Min, who was fed up with staying home. “Life was just too upsetting,” she said and headed out on a road trip with no particular destination. And where does she spend her nights? Well, of course in a rooftop tent above her car.

I’m thinking this desire for women to get away on a road trip must be a worldwide phenomenon. Although her reasons to head out on a solo road trip were different than mine, Su Min’s need to get away was strong. So strong, in fact, for this grandmother from Central China that she didn’t just daydream about it, she took action.

Apparently, after living the dutiful life of a wife, mother and grandmother, Su Min decided it was time to exit the life of expectations. Now, although she is traveling alone, there are more than a million social media followers on the journey. She has been on the road for six months with no end in sight.

She posts videos on the Chinese version of Tik-Tok. In her posts, she speaks of a lonely and sometimes violent marriage.

What Hides Behind This Urge?

This was not a sudden whim on the part of Su Min. She gathered information from many sources and looked for equipment that would best suit her – like a pop-tent that would fit atop her vehicle. Add a portable refrigerator and a rice cooker to the tent and she was on her way.

Su Min’s road trip has her meeting people at every stop, solves problems along the way, and helps her makes friends with other women, young and old, as they share experiences online.

I ponder whether the reason for women who feel this need to hit the road is a general discontent with life. I know women who are in solid relationships without major family problems who, nevertheless, sometimes feel the need to make a solo exit and get away by themselves.

This may be a type of life passage for women who have reached a certain age or time in their life. Su Min is retired, in her 50s and until recently took care of her twin grandchildren. She had done her homework, and this was her window in time.

That Window in Time Is Important

How often does an opening in the calendar come when your grown children and spouse or significant other don’t depend on you, emotionally or physically, to support them in their lives. How many women retire only to find that responsibilities of aging parents come before that grasp for freedom on the road?

Su Min knows she will return to her family at some point but is nowhere ready to do so. She plans to visit most of China and expects it will take two years. Now, that’s a road trip!

Have you, or do you know anyone, who determined to take a solo road trip to escape a situation or to get to know themselves better? Do you think this could be a passage many women feel but most don’t act on?

I have found that in many cases a divorcing couple becomes focused upon the division of assets without consideration to the cost of ownership and income tax issues, which can create a significant imbalance.

Before you sign a Property Settlement Agreement (PSA), be sure that you truly understand the financial implications it will have upon you both in the near term and especially for your long term financial wellness. In addition, the division of the property may have effects upon the amount of spousal and child support being paid.

Let me give you an example and then I will outline a few items that can make a big difference in the negotiation process.

One Hypothetical Scenario for Dividing Assets

The couple has accumulated $250,000 in a joint investment portfolio, $500,000 in retirement accounts and has about $450,000 of equity in their house, all considered marital. Ignoring other assets for this illustration, the simple thing to do would be to sell the house and divide all of the assets equally.

However, doing this could create an imbalance due to the joint portfolio unless each position in the portfolio were equally divided. That is because certain holdings in the portfolio may have capital gains while others may have capital losses. Let’s say the husband offers to retain the XYZ fund valued at $125,000 and suggests that wife retain the ABC fund with the same value.

However, upon further analysis it is determined that the cost basis for the XYZ fund is $150,000 and the cost basis for the ABC fund is $50,000. The accounts are not equal! The XYZ fund has $25,000 of capital losses while the ABC fund has $75,000 of capital gain, a huge difference! The losses are tax deductions while the capital gains are taxable income!

A Second Scenario

Alternatively, the wife says she wants to retain the house and is willing to allow the husband to keep all of the retirement assets in return. Would you take that deal? From a pure monetary position it would appear that she gets $450,000 of equity and gives up $500,000 of assets.

There are two issues to consider in this trade off; the first is that the house has a significant carrying cost for the mortgage, taxes, insurance and maintenance while the retirement account has no cost to own. Secondly the equity in the house may be partially taxable if overall appreciation is more than $250,000 and the excess would be subject to capital gains while the retirement plan will grow tax free (deferred) until withdrawn at ordinary tax rates.

Now, which deal would you rather take: the house or the retirement plan?

There are other considerations but the point is that unless all assets are divided equally, it is imperative to understand the cost of ownership (cash flow) and the real net after tax value before making a decision on the division of property in a divorce settlement.

Understanding Your Decisions and Assembling a Team

Unfortunately, what often happens is that the lawyers are negotiating on your behalf and ask you if the division of property is okay with you once they have reached a tentative agreement. In most cases, your ability to make clear decisions is impaired due to the emotional stress and strain of the divorce process.

As a result, a year or two later you wake up and realize that you really did not understand the consequences of your decisions but cannot go back and make changes.

My suggestion is to form a team of legal, mental health and financial professionals to assist you during the divorce process, regardless of the divorce methodology chosen – another topic for a future article!

Do you understand the legal issues related to a Property Settlement Agreement? Did you have a team of professionals help with your divorce? What kind of bargain seems fair to you in your circumstances today? Please share your experience and advice in the comments.

Editor’s note: This article is not intended to provide legal or financial advice. Please consult your financial professional regarding your situation.

Melissa Gorga’s Black Leather Confessional Look

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 11 Fashion

While it’s not exactly leather season, Melissa Gorga’s black leather confessional dress is worth noting, like the majority of her looks. And while I’m left wondering when and where I’ll wear a leather dress after my move to Austin, I think the rest of ya’ll need to scoop up a similar style ASAP to save for next szn.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Nookie Cleo Midi Dress Sold Out at Envy

Click Here to Shop her Nookie Cleo Midi Dress in size XL

Originally posted at: Melissa Gorga’s Black Leather Confessional Look

Hunter McGrady started her career as a straight-size model when she was 15 years old so she has a unique understanding of body positivity at every size. She went on to become the first plus-size model—at a size 16—to appear in a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. That’s why when I got a chance to talk to McGrady about pregnancy presentation while plus-size and skincare, I also wanted to hear her opinions on the never-ending mid-size vs plus debate on TikTok. As expected, she had some thoughts.

McGrady is working with Olay on its sun-ready seasonal favorites: Olay Regenerist Whip SPF 25 and Olay Retinol24 Night Moisturizer. Since the model is pregnant, she’s sticking with just hydrating products for now and picking the retinol back up post-baby. (Talk to your doctor to find out what’s right for you.) “At the very beginning of my pregnancy, I decided to simplify my routine,” she tells STYLECASTER. “Now, it’s washing my face and using the Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream.”

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Olay.

Buy: Olay Regenerist Cream $25.99

“It’s funny how your skin reacts to less, less is more in this case,” she continues. “My skin looks so good now! Anytime I add anything else and do too much, its overload. Especially with Olay, I know the products are so good and hydrating, everything you need overall in one product.” Unlike some other celebs we know, McGrady also makes sure to wear sunscreen.

Of course, I use the Olay SPF every day,” she says. “My skin has gotten really dry and sensitive during pregnancy, so I had to pivot and find my holy grail product.” Olay skincare is a family affair for her. She uses the Olay Regenerist Ultra Rich Face Moisturizer ($29.99 at Target) just like her mom and grandmother did. “I remember vividly watching them put it on,” she says.

McGrady is about to become a mother herself. And she’s taking to Instagram to share photos of herself while pregnant to shed light on the lack of plus-size pregnancy representation out there. “Being plus-size, you already have the cards stacked against you. Being plus-size and pregnant, forget about it,” she says. “When I Googled pregnancy, I’d see thin women with just a belly and no weight anywhere else. I’m a larger girl, I’m a size 20. I knew that wasn’t going to be me.”

McGrady looked to magazines, websites, even the brochures at the OB-GYN’s office and couldn’t find any pregnant plus-size women. “I went to social media and heard from women who never even took photos of themselves because they were embarrassed that there was something wrong,” she says.

Source: Instagram

Speaking of women feeling there is something wrong with them, I asked McGrady about the current discourse happening on TikTok. Many around a size 10 or 12 are calling themselves mid-size, while some size 14+ are calling the term fat-phobic. The mid-sizers are saying they don’t want to co-opt a movement. It’s a lot of time and effort to just continue to label ourselves.

“As women, we already have so much stacked against us and we often make it really hard when we do things like this,” says McGrady. “The body-positive movement was started by fat black women. We have to honor that and know that. Though of course the body-positive movement is for everyone to be at peace with their body.” McGrady also doesn’t love that we’re forcing people to feel positive about their body all the time. It’s okay to be more neutral.

“We’re putting each other in little groups and having this war, which goes against the movement as a whole,” she continues. “We can honor where it stems from first, and then have a conversation. I’ve been every size, two through 20, so I understand. But plus-size women have it harder than mid-size or thinner women. That’s based on facts, but it’s not to take away from how others feel.”

Source: Instagram

McGrady gets asked all the time if the fashion and beauty industries have changed in terms of size inclusivity. She sees some progress but feels we have a long way to go. “People still don’t hire us because of our size,” she says. “That’s why I like to work with brands like Olay that know we’re all beautiful no matter our size.”

I for one, have always longed for an adorable sunkissed patch of freckles across the bridge of my nose and cheeks. I’ve been naturally “blessed” with a couple of large sunspots on my face thanks to a childhood spent growing up on the beach without proper SPF habits. However, my time spent in the sun has never quite mimicked the adorable spots I find ever so charming. I know many people born with freckles who have tried nearly everything under the sun to get rid of or conceal them –a cosmetic pursuit that’s always left me puzzled and envious.

And while the obvious remark that embracing your natural beauty — “flaws” and all — certainly warrants being addressed here, I find freckles to be an asset, not a flaw. Moles, over-sized birthmarks, and blemishes are nothing to hide in my book. I’ve learned the phrase ” you always want what you don’t have,” is astonishingly accurate when it comes to our personal views on beauty. When I was young, I prayed that I would be granted with the voluptuous curves (and cleavage) of Marilyn Monroe when I grew up, but instead was dealt a different set of cards — an awkwardly lengthy frame and a modest (aka flat) chest.

I’ve come to embrace without ever being tempted to correct these traits with surgery — though I will admit to wearing a ridiculously padded bra from time to time. While I realize this is an arguably trite cliche in the age of body positivity, my point is that enhancing your features with makeup and hair changes can be a fun way to play with certain features you find attractive, without concealing the beauty you were born with, and for me, fake freckles are the prime example of this ethos. And, clearly, I’m not alone here, seeing as how nearly every Instagram filter comes with a subtle set of freckles and all the cool beauty TikTokers are giving tutorials on how to get faux freckles.

After conducting even more research on the blossoming beauty trend, I found a lofty collection of YouTube tutorials and beauty how-to’s offering step-by-step guides for achieving the look. Makeup artist Katie Jane Hughes is a fan of the look, as are YouTubers like James Charles and even supermodel Candice Swanepoel.

With that being said, when I discovered a freckle-feigning beauty product called Freck, I was immediately intrigued at the idea of coloring on faux freckles over my base for a “natural” look. Aside from their undeniable adorable factor, adding a couple of spots on top of your makeup can help an over-powdered or full coverage look appear more natural and skin-like. It’s the ultimate hack for “no-makeup makeup.”

Freck is an excellent fool-proof product that allows you to create long-lasting and natural-looking spots. I waited a month for it to get restocked before I was able to purchase it, and yes, it was worth the wait. But it’s also super easy to add them on using an eyebrow pencil, eyeliner, or eyeshadow that’s a few shades darker than your skin color and has a cool or neutral undertone. There are even stick-on products to give you a super intense look too. Here’s how to fake freckles for a quintessentially sunkissed look at any time of the year.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Freck O.G. Freckle Pen

If I didn’t make it obvious earlier, I am clearly obsessed with this freckle-faking pen. It’s a liquid formula that dries down matte (almost like a long-wearing lip stain) after a couple of minutes, giving you time to pat in the product for a more natural look. I simply press the applicator directly on the bridge of my nose and cheeks and use my finger to soften them a bit, but you can also use a beauty sponge for extra precision.

I like to add this on top of foundation and a good setting powder for extra longevity, but you also wear it alone or under a tinted moisturizer or BB cream for a more subtle effect. Also, the O.G. Pen now comes in an XL size, and darker hue, Freck Noir to suit a wider range of skin tones.

Courtesy of ColourPop.

ColourPop Faux Freckle Pen

This easy-to-use faux freckle pen comes in two shades—light brown and dark to cater to different skin tones. The pen is designed with a foolproof felt-tip applicator and a super-long-wearing ink formula that stays put all day long.

Courtesy of Lottie London.

Lottie London Freckle Tint

This newly debuted drugstore freckle pen is great for quickly adding some spots to your look. It has a similar application design to Freck’s and allows you to build up your faux freckled look to your desired liking, whether you’re going for subtle or aiming to look like an Instagram filter.

Courtesy of Lime Crime.

Lime Crime Freckle Pen

Just like a felt tip eyeliner marker, this Faux Freckle pen is easy to use thanks to large but precise applicator tip. The long-wearing formula dries down quickly, but too fast so that you can’t pat down any accidents before it sets into place for the day. I also love that it’s available in two different shades to accommodate more skin tones: amber and cocoa.

Courtesy of Pseudo Labs.

Pseudo Labs PHreckles

This genius liquid formula applies similarly to the way the sun would “apply” natural freckles to the skin. Basically, you flick the freckles onto your skin using the spoolie-like brush, working in sections of the face. It also features a fine-tip applicator allowing you to add precise or more prominent spots as well. PHreckles are waterproof and transfer-resistant for up to eighty minutes or wear, and they last about four to six hours. Also, the leather packaging the kit comes with couldn’t be any chicer.

Courtesy of L’oreal.

L’oreal Infallible Long-Lasting Eyeliner Pen

This long-wearing felt tip eyeliner is a great alternative to the Freck Pen because it has a pointed tip for precise application when you’re adding dots by hand and dries down almost instantly for a full day of fade-resistant wear. Simply tap the applicator onto the areas where you want to add some dots, and quickly pat with a finger, brush, or sponge to soften the look to your liking.

Courtesy of Wunderbrow.

Wunderbrow Dual Precision Brow Liner

If you’re looking for a more forgiving (i.e. error-proof) option for fake freckles, this long-wearing eyebrow pencil is a solid choice. It’s creamy enough to give you plenty of blending power in case you mess up in the process, but not overly waxy, so you don’t have to worry about it smudging or transferring throughout the course of the day.

Buy: WUNDERBROW Dual Precision Brow Liner $12

Courtesy of NYX Cosmetics.

NYX Nude Matte Eyeshadow

Using a taupe or cool-toned brow powdered eyeshadow is another more forgiving product for adding fake specks. However, this method requires a bit more prep than others. You’ll want to grab an angled or super-tiny shadow/inner corner brush and add a generous amount of powder. Then, you’ll use your finger to create flicking motions to apply the product over your nose and cheeks. It may sound a little daunting, but it results in an ultra-natural effect, which you can choose to wear alone or build up with a pencil afterward.

Buy: NYX Nude Matte Eyeshadow $10