As life
goes on over time, we change; everyone does. Sometimes we drift off course,
caught up in a tide of circumstances that turn our world into something
different than we anticipated. It happens, often, and the women I know are
experiencing it with greater frequency in their 60s and 70s.

Life as We Know It

The
effects of aging, career change, retirement, financial insecurity, empty
nesting, illness, and a shift in attitude and expectations can alter one’s
perspective, leaving us off kilter, until one morning, we wake up to a world that
looks unfamiliar, surrounded by those who don’t seem to be who they were, and
neither are we.

We realize
we’ve been going along unaware of how our life was shifting while we were busy
serving and supporting all those around us. There just wasn’t enough time or
energy to focus on our own needs and fulfillment.

As
external conditions change – and we
become free from working full time, caring for a family, or playing whatever
role we were cast – we find ourselves rather lost. We may
also find ourselves somewhat alone.

Our long-term
relationships are less engaging, foundered by the rough seas of other obligations.
We may not even share the emotions we once did and find ourselves left in the
empty shell of what used to be a happy life together.

We may be
tempted to leave, set out to find ourselves and establish a whole new life. But
dismantling a shared life is not as simple as it was decades ago when we were
young, just starting out, with less responsibility and no hard-earned assets to
protect.

At this
stage in our mature lives, starting over may be far less attractive, or simply
not an option for very real reasons. It’s not always feasible to pack up and
move on.

So, what’s
a woman to do? One answer is to bloom where you’re planted, like a dandelion
sprouting up between two slabs of concrete, growing happily in the warm sun,
despite its circumstance.

We’re far more
complex than misplaced flowers, of course, but it’s possible for us to find
happiness and contentment where we are. Here are a few steps to help you get
started.

Find Your Inner Peace

Inner
peace may be a cliche, but it’s an important one. Whether this means
meditation, yoga, prayer, or a solitary walk in the woods, however you find
peace, letting go of frustrations and angst will clear a space for other
emotions to inhabit your mind and heart. Dedicate time and practice to being
calm and serene.

Let It Out

Talk to
your friends, get into therapy, write in a journal, engage in whatever form of
communication works best for you. You need to express your feelings. Keeping
them bottled up will impede growth and transformation.

Be Physical

Regular
physical exercise defuses cortisol, the stress hormone, and working out lifts
the spirit. I chose hiking and found it brought me the release and sense of
freedom I craved.

Get Clarity

Spend time
sorting out where you are and what’s at the source of your discontent. If it’s
something you can discuss and perhaps rectify with honesty, then set the stage
for that to happen.

If those
efforts fail, look to yourself and determine what you can do, for you to be
satisfied and fulfilled. Do what you can to improve your situation so you can
be happy where you are.

Look for New Outlets

I took up writing. I wrote
as a way to sort through my circumstance. Amazingly, it grew into a passion and
then into a professional endeavor.

Find what
is right for you, be it art, music, volunteering, gardening, travel – whatever gives you pleasure and is possible within your
circumstance. Start off small if you need to and see where it goes from there.
Be open and say yes to opportunities whenever possible.

Shift Your Focus

Treat
yourself as you would someone you love. Be kind and gentle. Pamper yourself and
treat yourself to whatever brings you joy. This might feel awkward at first,
but it is essential. Allow yourself time and space to realize your potential,
follow your passion where it leads and be open.

Watch for
opportunities that will further your journey. Set goals and encourage yourself
as you would a friend. Step out beyond your comfort zone and ask for help from
those who support you. And always celebrate your success.

Be Aware and Introspective

Examine
your situation regularly, be honest with yourself and dig deep into what it is
you truly desire, then set a course toward it.

Most of
all, be true to yourself. You deserve happiness, and you don’t always have to
make wholesale changes to find what makes you happy. Devoting time and energy
to creating a fulfilled life can deliver huge rewards. Take your first step
today.

Do you find yourself at a crossroads, wondering what to do with your life beyond 60? Have you considered blooming where you’re planted? What steps do you think you can take to give yourself a happy mature life? Please share your thoughts with our community!

Human brains are hard-wired in primitive ways and have just one goal – survival. They achieve the goal of keeping us alive in three primary ways: by prompting us to stay safe, seek pleasure, and be efficient.

Before humans were established as the top of the food chain, this made a lot of sense. Brains were focused on preventing the possible tiger/bear attack, eating in abundance because food might later be scarce, and never burning more calories than absolutely necessary.

Despite that we are not likely to be attacked by a tiger today, our version 1.0 brains are always on the lookout, constantly analyzing situations and quickly categorizing that which is safe or dangerous. So, it’s no surprise that brains are good at finding the negative.

Negativity Led to Safety

Back in the day, the brain had to quickly and efficiently determine whether there was a rock or a snake in the grass. Assuming it was a snake was the better, safer option.

Those with brains most successful at spotting danger lived to reproduce, so we are the proud owners of brains that have outstanding ability to spot anything negative, which could very likely mean danger.

Now add life’s curveballs of loss, loneliness, uncertainty or illness, and you’ve got a brain operating on overdrive, convinced that danger is everywhere, constantly seeking and readily finding the negative.

This is called negativity bias, and it is nothing more than our primitive brains doing their best to keep us alive.

Activating the Higher Brain

Luckily, we have other parts of the brain more in tune with life in modern times. The prefrontal cortex, sometimes called the higher brain, can recognize the primitive brain’s focus on the negative, understand why it is happening, and then intentionally change the channel.

We can acknowledge the valiant efforts of the primitive brain and then demand equal airtime for what is right, what is working, what is positive.

Three Simple Steps for Equal Airtime

First, eavesdrop on the chatter happening in your brain and jot down those thoughts. Notice that each thought can be categorized into one of the three main tasks that keep us alive: safety, pleasure and efficiency. (Incidentally, our thoughts run on repeat partly due to efficiency.) If many of your thoughts seem negative, know that this is your primitive brain doing its job.

Next, it’s time to activate your prefrontal cortex. Ask yourself, what else is true? What is right in your world? What is certain? What is abundant? In what ways are you safe?

Third, notice how it feels to use your prefrontal cortex to change the channel. Make a daily effort to give equal airtime to prefrontal cortex thinking.

Once we recognize our natural bias toward negativity and understand why we tend to focus on it, we realize how much control we have. Our thoughts are not always true or useful, but they are always 100% optional.

Our primitive brains will always attempt to do their jobs. We can acknowledge those efforts and then activate our ability to direct our thinking, to think thoughts that are true and serve us well.

So today, direct your brain to change the channel. Where are there glimmers of goodness, even in this chapter of life? If you ask your brain to look, it will find them.

Have you noticed a negativity bias in your thinking? How have you “changed the channel” to focus on the positive? What daily habits help you to focus on positivity?

Throughout history, jewelry has been a symbol of power, wealth, and love. At least once in our life we have the occasion to buy or receive a piece of jewelry. We often admire its beauty and love wearing it. When we reach 60, the majority of us have a box full of jewelry. Regardless of how we got to own it, we may want to know if this jewelry is valuable and how much it costs. 

What Are the Characteristics of Valuable Jewelry?

Of course, your everyday pieces may be valuable only to you, but there is jewelry that does cost a fortune. However, to recognize such a piece from among the trinkets in your jewelry box, you need to know what makes jewelry valuable.

One thing to consider is the material. For example, a large, natural, high-quality gemstone could make jewelry valuable.

Another very important criterion is rarity. If the gem/material is scarce and difficult to find, you may have a treasure worth a fortune. Some gems, for instance, are rarer and more expensive than diamonds. One such example is color change blue garnet which is extremely rare.

Finally, the provenance of the gems also plays a role in the value of your jewelry. For instance, a ruby that originates in Burma will fetch a much higher price than a ruby with the same characteristics but coming from a mine in a different country.

Who Used to Own Your Jewelry?

Historic origin is another essential factor. If a piece of jewelry used to belong to a famous person, it may be sold at a high price as there are collectors for whom the piece has much value.

An illustrious example is an engagement ring given by Napoleon to Josephine de Beauharnais in 1796. A simple golden band, called “toi et moi,” it features an opposing tear-shaped blue sapphire and diamond. In 2013, the historic ring was sold at the Osenat auction house in France for $939,000, though its estimate price was $20,000! An anonymous admirer of Napoleon was happy to pay near a million dollars to own this ring!

What Else Is Important

Of course, we should not forget about craftsmanship and design. Sometimes a piece of jewelry is made of inexpensive materials but the craftsmanship is exquisite and impeccable with fine details that make the piece unique. Using inexpensive gems, Faberge created masterpieces that now cost a fortune.

Brand names are another price-forming factor. If a piece of jewelry was created by a renowned jeweler – such as Jean Schlumberger, Verdura, Cartier, etc. – it will fetch a very high price.

Demand and fashion are important as well. Of course, these criteria may change with time. For instance, today, Regency era antique jewelry is becoming popular again thanks to the Netflix show Bridgerton. 

All of these factors will impact the value of jewelry.

Your First Steps

Do you know the value of the pieces in your jewelry box? It may be worth while to get them checked. The first step is to carefully look at the jewelry. Put aside any pieces that might have value.

If there are family heirlooms you received as inheritance, it makes sense to find out what they’re worth. I would recommend taking them to a certified gemologist who appraises jewelry. Though you will pay a fee for the appraisal, it’s worth it.

The gemologist may recommend additional tests, for instance, to establish the provenance of rubies or emeralds, or weather a pearl necklace is made of natural pearls.

Whatever the case with your jewelry box, knowing what’s in it may give you an extra boost in confidence when you wear your valuable pieces. And it may be worth it when you decide to pass it on.

What does jewelry mean for you? Does any of your jewelry have an interesting origin? Do you have a piece of jewelry that is transferred as an heirloom in your family? What questions regarding jewelry would you like to ask?