I must confess that I do love mornings – now that I’m retired. I cherish the slow arousing of my mind as it shakes the remnants of sleep off its back.

I veg in muddied nothingness that fogs my thoughts until dawn burns through to clarity. I indulge in the luxury of laziness that continues to feel sinful, despite the number of days post retirement, when life became mine again.

Most of all, I love my cup of coffee…

I stumble to the machine, pop in the pod and watch the brown aromatic liquid drip slowly into my favorite cup. My mouth is watering as my brain screams impatiently for its fix. Seconds seem to pass like hours until, at last, the cup is full. Ahhhh…

I’m up. I’m ready. I’ve got my cup of joe. My sleepy eyes are open. My hair’s a mess, and I’m in my PJ’s. I’m sitting at the kitchen table, laptop in front of me, hubby across from me, dogs at my feet. I’m ready for coffee hour with my friends.

I open my laptop and go to my Facebook page and there they are – my friends are waiting. They range from people with whom I went to grade school, high school and college, to colleagues, co-workers, family and acquaintances.

They are spread over multiple states and inhabit different time zones with varying degrees of FB interaction. But they are there. In all of their varying degrees of friendship, posting and commenting away, around my breakfast table each morning. I love it.

If you envision Facebook, or other forms of social media, as a method of ‘keeping in touch’, like I do, then the enjoyment you get far outweighs the negativity and frustration that sometimes come with it.

I know several people who got affected by that negativity. They protest. They block. They deactivate. They leave. They come back. I know. Because I’ve done it.

There are no official Facebook rules or a handbook designed for online etiquette, but I’ve made rules for myself that have helped curb my own frustration.

Also, I’ve figured out ways to keep it a positive part of my day, connecting me to people that I care about. These are just a few of the rules that have helped me stay happy about social media. I’ve made the good outweigh the bad.

Monitor Your Privacy Settings

Unless you want your photos to be public, make sure your settings reflect your intentions. The privacy factor is huge with me. I even privatize my friends list, limiting it to only myself who can view my list of friends. I routinely check in, because if an update occurs, it might affect your settings.

Organize Your Groups

Create groups for your posts and default to the one where you wish most of your posts to go to. I have created a group for close friends, one for close friends and family and a separate one for ‘all,’ which includes acquaintances.

If there is someone who never likes or comments on my posts, then I move them to the acquaintances group, and they don’t see my regular posts.

You may want to keep friends posts separate from family posts. Thus – the reason for the family category. Go through your friend list, occasionally, and make sure your posts are going to who you want them to go to. You can also customize at the time of the post.

Don’t Overdo It

I don’t use FB like a diary because I really don’t think any of my friends want to know what I’m doing or where I’m at, every part of the day. Don’t overuse FB or post excessively. When you post something that you really want your friends to see, it may get skimmed over unintentionally.

Accept Marketing Is a Big Component of Social Media

You can reach thousands of people through mass marketing. I get it. It’s smart. It makes business sense. But, if you have multiple friends selling the same products, it can get frustrating to scroll through the same ads daily.

It’s easy to ‘unfollow’ those friends and then go to their site, at will, to look for the personal photos or posts that matter to you.

Be Careful with Friend Requests

I don’t accept friendship or request it of people that I haven’t met in person. It’s just my own personal rule. If I am going to share my life, in words or photos, then I want to make sure that I know the people who will view my posts. I value and cherish the word ‘friend’.

Don’t Become an Addict

I give myself an hour on Facebook, and most of the time, it’s less than that. I don’t check it routinely during the day. I don’t look at it in the presence of others. I don’t grab my phone at a stop sign to see what’s new. I can’t say that I have never done that, but I’ve learned to limit myself to my socializing time.

Facebook, and any social media, can be time-consuming and time-wasting if not controlled. When my dog paws at my hands to put the phone down, it’s time to put the phone down. My time in the morning is my coffee hour with friends, and it’s a sweet way to start my day.

Don’t Play Games with Your Friends On Facebook

Don’t count how many ‘likes’ you get. Don’t brag or judge or use it for a political stage. Or try to make someone feel bad. Or post negative comments. That’s just not cool.

Be respectful of life circumstances and situations. You are friends with people for a reason. Be their friend. Saying nothing is better than saying something that can ruin a friendship.

I think of Facebook as a large gathering place, where we can sit, in the comfort of our homes, and share our lives in ways that we’ve never been able to before. It is truly amazing, isn’t it, that we can now reach across the country – and continents – and converse with friends, all at the same time?

Many of us moved away from home and friendships long ago, making it very difficult to keep in touch. Snail mail and expensive long distance calling were our only options for communicating. Friendships were cut off and many were lost. It was a very isolated and lonely time, personally for me.

Now, with the invention of Social Media, we have reconnected and affirmed our old friendships. We no longer have to say “Good-bye” to our co-workers when we leave or retire. We can see their faces, share our life stories and stay in touch every day, if we want.

I now can know, really know, what is going on in my friends’ lives, and we can share our experiences as much or as little as we want. Yes, sometimes it may be too much information, more than we really want to know, but Facebook may be their only method of sharing with someone. It might be their own lifeline to hold on to.

So, cherish your time with your friends. Use it wisely. Don’t let it consume or frustrate you. Set your limits and use your common sense. Envision all of their faces sitting around the morning table with you, sharing their stories, recipes and beautiful pictures in the fellowship that only good friendships can give.

We are meant to have friends sit at our table to bring us all joy. Take a sip of that early morning coffee, open your computer and invite them in.

What forms of Social Media do you use, and how much time do you spend daily online? What are your pet peeves regarding Facebook posts? What are your own rules for yourself? Please share in the comments below!

After a loss, it’s normal to experience deep and painful feelings of grief. During this challenging Covid-19 pandemic, many individuals can really benefit from grief counseling and other mental health services. Medicare provides coverage for many different types of mental health care, including grief counseling.

Here’s why grief counseling is so important and how to make sure you’re covered.

What Is Grief?

Grief is a very complex range of emotions that can occur after a loss. Grief is often associated with the death of a loved one but can also occur after the end of a relationship or the loss of a job. There are many emotions that are associated with grief, including sadness, anger, and guilt.

How Can Grief Counseling Help?

During your grief counseling sessions, you’ll work with a professional to process the feelings associated with your loss and develop new routines. Depending on your individual situation, your counselor will have you do things such as identify and share your feelings, come to terms with the reality of the situation, and identify traumatic experiences.

They can also help you adjust to a new routine after loss and find new sources of emotional support. Techniques like journaling and role-playing can be very helpful during this process.

It’s important to note that grief counseling cannot completely eliminate feelings of grief. What it can do is give you the tools you need to move forward in a healthy way after a loss. When selecting a mental health professional, it’s important to choose someone you trust and feel comfortable with.

What Are the Different Types of Grief?

Grief can be caused by so many different triggers that it’s difficult to give it a singular definition. There are various types of grief that take in account certain emotions and situations.

Normal Grief

Also known as uncomplicated grief, this variety may last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years following the loss of someone extremely close to you (either in death or a severed relationship).

Anticipatory Mourning

Anticipatory mourning occurs when you expect the death of a friend or family member. It’s actually quite normal to begin to anticipate how you will react and cope when that person eventually dies.

Sudden Loss

Sudden Loss is grief experienced after a sudden, unexpected death. This may result in feelings of being overwhelmed and/or unable to function, and the sudden loss may take longer to comprehend.

Complicated Grief

Traumatic or prolonged grief is a diagnosis you can receive from a medical doctor. Widely known as complicated grief, it also goes by these terms:

• Abnormal grief
• Chronic grief
• Complicated grief disorder
• Exaggerated grief
• Pathological grief
• Persistent complex bereavement disorder

Does Medicare Cover Grief Counseling?

Medicare Part B covers outpatient medical services, including grief counseling and other mental health care. Medicare covers individual grief counseling and other forms of therapy with a mental health professional, as long as it is deemed medically necessary. It also covers group therapy sessions.

You will only pay your deductible for this counseling if your provider accepts Medicare assignment. Medicare Part B also covers a yearly depression screening, which can identify signs of grief and other mental health problems.

If you see a psychiatrist and they prescribe medication for conditions like depression or anxiety, this will not be covered under Original Medicare. Instead, you will need a Medicare Part D plan, which covers prescription drugs.

If you have a Medicare Advantage plan, you may receive additional mental health coverage beyond what Original Medicare provides. Medicare Advantage plans are supplemental plans offered by private insurers to provide coverage beyond what Original Medicare can offer.

If you’re struggling with grief, don’t wait to seek help. Grief counseling offers essential support and tools to help you cope during this difficult time.

Have you recently experienced loss of any kind? How long has it taken you to come to terms with your new situation, sans your job, pet, friend, or loved one? Have you used Medicare for grief counseling? What advice or tips can you offer the community? Please share below.

Lil Nas X dropped his latest music video for “Montero (Call Me by Your Name)” Thursday night and phew, is there a lot to talk about. The rapper strums his guitar in a reimagined Garden of Eden with voiceovers to tell fans he’s not hiding anymore, himself or his sexuality. At one point, Lil Nas X’s video features him in multiple makeup  looks, while two denim-clad Lil Nas Xs drag a pink fur-wearing Lil Nas X to get chained up.

“Montero” is unapologetically queer, from the lyrics to the sweet note Lil Nas X wrote to his younger self, which he posted on Instagram. He doesn’t hold back with wardrobe, either. Makeup artist and KVD Beauty Global Veritas Artistry Ambassador Anthony Nguyen was responsible for the makeup. Two looks stand out: pink and blue makeup.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

YouTube.

For both looks, Nguyen used the TikTok viral Good Apple Skin-Perfecting Foundation Balm ($38 at Ulta). For the blue look, he mixed Super Pomade Vegan Eyeliner, Shadow & Brow Pigment ($20 at Ulta) shades White Out and Satellite to match the denim. He used the shade Graphite for Lil Nas X’s brows.

Source: Instagram

Dying over the pink eyeshadow? Us, too. Nguyen used Dazzle Vegan Eyeshadow Stick in Force Field ($22 at Ulta).

Source: Instagram

Of course, these aren’t the only swoon-worthy looks in the video. Wait until you see the red braids he rocks while on the stripper pole and giving Satan a lap dance. (Yes. It’s everything.)

Lil Nas X is a national treasure. When was the last time we got a video this artistic filled with symbolism, while the artist is also serving makeup looks and has a powerful message? Beyoncé is one of the only other artists to truly do the same. It’s worth watching the entire video, above.

French skincare brand Biologique Recherche has been making its line of the ever-elusive (yet highly praised) P50 lotions for more than 40 years now. This line of “balancing exfoliators” is just as well known for its skin-transforming benefits and unrivaled cult following as it is for its pungent stench. However, countless beauty editors and skincare aficionados are definitely more than willing to dismiss the potions’ signature scent—the result of a proprietary blend of vinegar and horseradish with a dash of onion—because fans swear it actually works.

According to the brand, these toners enhance the skin because they “speed up the epidermis’s natural exfoliating process and the reconstruction of the epidermal shield.” In other words, it sloughs off dead skin from the surface much like chemical exfoliants and retinoid products, thanks to its blend of trusted anti-aging ingredients including sulfur and lactic acid. But the P50 solution is different than its fellow exfoliators because it’s chock-full of unusual ingredients that you’re used to seeing in your kitchen cabinet, not your skincare: onion extract, horseradish, thyme. Despite the formula’s strong acid blend, the additional ingredients are said to help restore your skin’s PH levels and limit the amount of irritation associated with stronger exfoliating products.

There are currently seven versions of the lotion, with a range of strengths available depending on your exfoliation tolerance and personal skin concerns. The original—and undeniably most coveted—is the original P50 1970 solution. It contains a controversial ingredient called phenol, an antiseptic acid compound often used as a paint thinner but also found in some oral sore throat medicines (hence the numbing sensation upon application that many users have reported).

Biologique Recherche.

Fans of the lotion (aptly nicknamed “facial in a bottle”) praise the cultish elixir for its fast delivery of visible anti-aging benefits. Some even likened the results to Botox treatments. While it’s doubtful that P50 is a Botox alternative, it’s fairly evident that most people who have tried this stinky toner are pretty loyal to it, if not utterly obsessed. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to find if you’re not a beauty editor, nor is it easy on the wallet. Because it’s technically only sold by licensed aestheticians and at professional spas (no, you can’t order it on Amazon, beware of counterfeits!), it’s pretty tough to get your hands on this stuff.

While die-hard fans insist P50 an irreplaceable skin-care hero in their beauty cabinets, we’ve found a few phenol-free dupes that will do a similar job without requiring an endless black market hunt or an invasive stench.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Mario Badescu.

As the name implies, this mild resurfacing toner primarily relies on glycolic acid to promote skin-cell turnover. The lack of alcohol and addition of soothing aloe vera makes this an especially great choice for those with sensitive skin.

Buy: Mario Badescu Glycolic Acid Toner $15.30

Ren Clean Skincare.

This resurfacing toner promises to be gentle enough for daily use, and is powered by lactic acid for exfoliation, willow bark extract to minimize the appearance of pores and azelaic acid to boost radiance. In keeping with Ren’s clean-beauty ethos, this vegan and cruelty-free tonic uses only naturally derived ingredients and comes packaged in a 100 percent recycled plastic bottle.

Buy: REN Clean Skincare Glow Tonic $38

Courtesy of Cosrx.

While it’s primarily marketed as a blackhead removing toner, this K-beauty staple has attained its own cult-level status for its powerful pore-unclogging properties. Like the P50 toner, this formula also contains niacinamide and BHA (salicylic acid) to decongest clogged pores and slough off dead skin cells. It’s also infused with willow bark extract to help soothe skin and minimize irritation.

Buy: Cosrx BHA Blackhead Power Liquid $17.58

Courtesy of Pixi.

If you perform a quick Google search for Lotion P50 dupes, you’ll find the majority of results include this affordable toner. This acid toner does have a few main differences from the P50, however. First of all, its acid base is glycolic acid, not lactic like P50’s. It’s also formulated with ginseng, which can help boost circulation in the skin, giving you a rosy glow while reducing puffiness. It also contains aloe vera to combat the irritation from the acid and other harsher actives to help keep pH in balance and reduce redness as well.

Courtesy of Moon Juice.

Brought to you by adaptogenic wellness brand Moon Juice, this skincare solution has quickly become a beauty-editor-approved dupe for Lotion P50. In fact, Moon Juice founder Amanda Chantal Bacon actually designed the formula after falling love with Biologique Recherche’s lotion only to be dismayed by the elixir’s concoction of questionable ingredients. Inspired by the undeniable efficacy of P50, Bacon formulated Beauty Shroom with a blend of similar actives including lactic acid and niacinamide but swapped out the phenol and horseradish with anti-inflammatory reishi mushroom, offering a “cleaner” version.

Buy: Moon Juice Acid Potion $42

Glossier.

This buzzy “skin perfector” features a trifecta of powerhouse acid actives (BHAs, AHAs and PHAs) to exfoliate, minimize pores, and even skin’s tone and texture. It’s also lauded for working on all skin types, but is particularly effective for those who struggle with acne.

SkinCeuticals.

While not a budget dupe, the SkinCeuticals Equalizing Toner’s main active ingredient is, like the P50, lactic acid. Known as an effective yet hydrating acid, lactic acid is great for mature, dry and sensitive skin types because it effectively exfoliates with less redness, dryness, and peeling associated with the other AHAs. It’s also touted for its “equalizing” or balancing properties, like P50, thanks to soothing ingredients like aloe vera and circulation-inducing chamomile extract.

A version of this story was originally published in October 2019.

Lil Nas X dropped his latest music video for “Montero (Call Me by Your Name)” Thursday night and phew, is there a lot to talk about. The rapper strums his guitar in a reimagined Garden of Eden with voiceovers to tell fans he’s not hiding anymore, himself or his sexuality. At one point, Lil Nas X’s video features him in multiple makeup  looks, while two denim-clad Lil Nas Xs drag a pink fur-wearing Lil Nas X to get chained up.

“Montero” is unapologetically queer, from the lyrics to the sweet note Lil Nas X wrote to his younger self, which he posted on Instagram. He doesn’t hold back with wardrobe, either. Makeup artist and KVD Beauty Global Veritas Artistry Ambassador Anthony Nguyen was responsible for the makeup. Two looks stand out: pink and blue makeup.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

YouTube.

For both looks, Nguyen used the TikTok viral Good Apple Skin-Perfecting Foundation Balm ($38 at Ulta). For the blue look, he mixed Super Pomade Vegan Eyeliner, Shadow & Brow Pigment ($20 at Ulta) shades White Out and Satellite to match the denim. He used the shade Graphite for Lil Nas X’s brows.

Source: Instagram

Dying over the pink eyeshadow? Us, too. Nguyen used Dazzle Vegan Eyeshadow Stick in Force Field ($22 at Ulta).

Source: Instagram

Of course, these aren’t the only swoon-worthy looks in the video. Wait until you see the red braids he rocks while on the stripper pole and giving Satan a lap dance. (Yes. It’s everything.)

Lil Nas X is a national treasure. When was the last time we got a video this artistic filled with symbolism, while the artist is also serving makeup looks and has a powerful message? Beyoncé is one of the only other artists to truly do the same. It’s worth watching the entire video, above.