Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

A recent article posted on Sixty and Me, How to Rekindle Your Motivation When the World Gets You Down, by Fran Braga Meininger caught my attention. She described perfectly what I, and many of you, have been feeling – helplessness and lack of energy, for example. She also offered some good suggestions to help us overcome our malaise.

It is easy to point fingers and blame a person or political party for the division and the pain that we feel. Charismatic leaders make speeches, and we cheer if their opinions match our experience and our base of knowledge. If they don’t match, we are quick to discount what they say. I am not without blame.

We can ignore the media and all the daily negative overload to a certain point, but I am an economist and keeping up with the financial markets and everything that affects them (which is about everything in our world) is in my blood. It is my passion. I just have to know!

There are three steps, I call them my three Cs, that help me overcome the negativity.

CALM

My first step is to put myself in a state of calm, where my mind is not racing with news, to-dos, or even panic. How do I do this? These are several things that help me.

Nature Trips

When I can, I love to hike or just sit in nature. As I focus my attention on trees, wildflowers, birds and animals, I drink in their natural beauty including their sounds and smells. I am fortunate that I have a generous sister and brother-in-law who share their wooded cabin with family.

On a recent weekend there, I sat on the porch and watched the tree leaves and pine needles blow in the wind. I drank in the smell of the forest after rain, and I was transformed! The activities and worries of my busy week left and I was at peace.

Touch of a Loved One

Another way that I receive a sense of calm is through touch. I feel blessed to have a loving partner whose touch calms me, especially when I am overwhelmed with worries or anxieties. The love I feel when he holds my hand or wraps his arms around me gives me a sense that all is right with the world. For you, it may be a beloved pet that nudges you for attention or gives you a loving lick. A hug from my grandchildren makes any day brighter!

Music

Music is a calming force in my life, too. Songs that bring back memories of a special day or time make me smile. Some have special meanings and those my partner, a musician, plays are welcome friends. Some compositions take me to faraway places while others touch my soul.

Meditation

Meditation also calms me, although I admit that I am not a regular practitioner. For me, it is not important if I sit or lay down, I just try to shut out the world around me. Every time a thought, worry, or idea comes to mind, I push it aside to focus on “nothing” – the blackness I see when my eyes are closed. Before I know it, I sense my calm.

COMPASSION

Do you ever have days when you feel sorry for yourself? I do! We all have “pity parties.” When I lived in North Carolina, a dear friend would call me out but now that we are thousands of miles apart, I must remind myself.

The best way I’ve found to break out of a pity party is to find something I can do for someone else. That is not difficult. Perhaps there is a friend who is lonely, or is struggling with a medical issue, or has recently lost a pet. They may live next door or in a different state or country. It does not matter.

Certainly, those who suffer from tragedy, famine, or war deserve my compassion. My attention is drawn to those situations by the media. If I look around my community, however, there are people in need. When I see a car accident or hear a fire engine or ambulance, I pray for those involved and their families. It is amazing to me how a simple prayer or a loving thought can change my attitude and even my view of the world.

CONNECT

That brings me to the third C and the next step after I feel compassion – make a connection. I might place a call to my friend or set a coffee or lunch date. I might send a note or bring flowers. Even a thought or prayer, as I mentioned above, can be a connection. During the isolation period of COVID, one of my neighbors took treats to others in our condo development and left them outside their door. She loves to bake, and she found a way to connect.

Showing Love

I love to do almost anything with my family, especially my grandchildren! Their stories and antics and smiles warm my heart and bring me great joy. However, I am estranged from one of my sons and his family including his three beautiful daughters. I miss watching them as they grow and miss celebrating their successes. What I do, however, is write notes and put gifts for each of them in a box. I hope that one day they will find the box and feel my love.

Active Listening

In my opinion, the best gift I can give someone else is to listen. I work at active listening. It is so easy to let my thoughts stray or to think about what I want to say next or even to discount what someone who believes differently than me is saying.

Have you ever asked someone to repeat something, not because of hearing difficulties, but because of lack of attention? I have. But when I connect by active listening, it not only makes the other person feel heard, but I also feel better about myself and often I learn something important.

I deal with daily life through calm, compassion, and connection. You may have a special way that you deal with the turbulence in our world. I hope that you will share it!

Reflection Questions:

What works to reduce worry and anxiety for you? Do you have a special story about compassionate connection?

What do experts really think? We asked plastic surgeons, dermatologists, and orthodontists to weigh in.

As women embrace the golden years of life, many find themselves reflecting on their beauty journey. With age, changes in our skin, especially around delicate areas like the neck and décolleté, can often feel disheartening. However, as science and nature converge, we discover innovative solutions to help us maintain our youthful glow. Enter the Apple Peptide Complex – a powerful ally in the quest for ageless, radiant skin backed by science, clinical trials and research. 

Understanding the Apple Peptide Complex

The Apple Peptide Complex is derived from the apple fruit, typically known for its rich antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. These peptides are short chains of amino acids that play a pivotal role in skin health. 

Rich in essential fatty acid (Linoleic Acid), the Apple Peptide Complex helps skin maintain moisture. They work by mimicking the body’s natural processes, stimulating collagen production, and promoting skin renewal. This complex is rich in beneficial compounds that not only nourish the skin but also address common signs of aging.

Elevating Skin Elasticity

One of the most significant changes that occur with aging is the loss of skin elasticity. As collagen and elastin fibers begin to degrade, skin can sag and wrinkle. The Apple Peptide Complex is a game changer in this regard. By stimulating collagen synthesis, it effectively enhances skin elasticity, allowing your neck and décolleté to regain firmness and suppleness. With consistent use, you’ll notice a more toned appearance, offering a youthful lift that enhances your overall silhouette.

Boosting Skin Density

In our 60s and beyond, skin density can diminish, leading to a thinner, more fragile appearance. The Apple Peptide Complex helps improve skin density by encouraging the production of new skin cells and supporting the dermal structure. This results in a firmer, fuller appearance, making the skin look more robust and healthier. Over time, you’ll find that your skin feels more resilient, reducing the chances of sagging or premature aging.

Refining Skin Texture

Textural irregularities can become more pronounced with age, leading to rough patches and uneven surfaces. The Apple Peptide Complex works wonders in refining skin texture. Its natural exfoliating properties help slough away dead skin cells, revealing a smoother, more radiant layer underneath. Regular use can lead to visibly softer skin, reducing the appearance of roughness and promoting an overall velvety feel.

Addressing Skin Discoloration

Hyperpigmentation and discoloration often accompany the aging process, resulting from sun exposure, hormonal changes, and other environmental factors. The Apple Peptide Complex contains antioxidants that combat oxidative stress and inflammation, two major contributors to skin discoloration. By promoting a more even skin tone, this complex can help diminish dark spots and enhance your natural glow, boosting your confidence as you display your décolleté.

Reducing Fine Lines and Wrinkles

Fine lines and wrinkles are perhaps the most visible indicators of aging. The Apple Peptide Complex directly targets these concerns by promoting smoother skin through increased hydration and collagen support. As it enhances the skin’s barrier function, moisture retention improves, plumping up fine lines and wrinkles for a more youthful appearance. With continued use, you’ll notice a reduction in the depth of these lines, making your neck and décolleté look refreshed and revitalized.

The Application Ritual

To maximize the benefits of the Apple Peptide Complex, incorporate it into your daily skincare routine. Start with a gentle cleanser to remove impurities, followed by a toner to balance your skin’s pH. Apply a serum infused with the Apple Peptide Complex to your neck and décolleté, gently massaging it in an upward motion.

Follow up with a hydrating moisturizer to lock in the goodness and protect your skin throughout the day. For added protection, consider using a broad-spectrum sunscreen to shield your skin from harmful UV rays.

Embracing Your Beauty

As women over 60, it’s essential to embrace the natural beauty that comes with age. The Apple Peptide Complex offers a pathway to enhance that beauty, helping you feel empowered and confident in your skin. Remember, beauty is not just about appearance – it’s about how you feel in your own skin. By investing in products that support your skin’s health, you’re not only enhancing your outer beauty but also nurturing your inner self.

Closing Thoughts

Aging is a beautiful journey, one that can be celebrated with grace and confidence. The Apple Peptide Complex is a remarkable ingredient that brings hope for ageless, youthful skin, particularly in the neck and décolleté area.

With its ability to improve skin hydration, elasticity, density, texture, address discoloration, and reduce fine lines and wrinkles, it’s a powerful tool in your skincare arsenal. So go ahead, embrace the wisdom of your years, and let your skin reflect the beauty that is uniquely yours. After all, true beauty knows no age.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How important is youthful skin to you? Do you look to maintain your skin’s youthful look? What do you know about the benefits of Apple Peptide Complex?

Don’t discard favorite clothes… dress your furniture with them!

Rainy days are ideal for decluttering my closet, and I was in the mood for it. Soon, I had proudly gathered a pile of clothes, ready to donate it to Goodwill. But I also had the familiar treasures that I always put back in the closet because I just can’t let go off them.

What I Could’t Let Go of

1. A washed out 20-year-old T-Shirt from one of my visits to the town of St.Helena, Napa Valley, where dear friends of mine live. Torn, mended, unwearable in public, yet very well loved.
2. Blue jeans from a trip to Austria’s „Apricot Country“ (the beautiful Wachau Valley north of Vienna). I fell in love with their cheerful bright blue colour. They were tight when I bought them, and now, there’s no way they will fit if I ever plan to breathe in them again.
3. Another pair of summer denims whose sunny yellow makes my soul jump with joy, a €5 Goodwill catch, unfortunately a bit on the small side for me. Yet, a boost of sunshine I will not let go!
4. Several blue jeans, too old to wear, but way too connected with fond memories to part with them yet.

I Needed a Plan

I was determined. I couldn’t be defeated yet again by sentimentality and my holding-on gene. I just couldn’t put these items back – yet again.

What were my resources? Time, great music to accompany the task, creativity, scissors, sewing needles and thread. (Please know: I have hardly any sewing skills, just enough to do the job.) And I had the greatest tools since the invention of fire and bookprinting: safety pins.

If I Can’t Fit into Them, I Sit on Them

Yes, I decided to dress my furniture with treasures that I no longer wear. Introducing the stars of my furniture reinvention fashion show:

SAINT HELENA: The New Darling in My Bedroom, Coastal Grandma Style

My plain old white Ikea armchair got dressed with baby-blue jeans plus the washed out St. Helena T-shirt, complete with a pillow made from the top of another pair of blue jeans, stuffed with two old outworn sweaters (which I would otherweise have discarded). Everything can be taken off, washed and re-fitted.

MISTER LEVI: The Elegant Armchair

Thanks to three pairs of blue jeans, an elegant armchair (one of a set of two) whose velvet covering had suffered from heavy use, got a fresh Bohemian face, topped with a matching pillow – also stuffed with garments from my previous decluttering safari.

SCOTTY: Mister Levi’s Twin

Mister Levi’s twin armchair turned into a cheerful Christmas character: the kind of armchair that Granny would sit in when reading fairytales to grandkids. All made possible with the help of a Kilt-style long skirt, a big red woolen shawl, a checker patterned apron and an elastic cotton belt. Just stuffed everything in – no sewing, not even safety pins.

LIMONCELLO: Sunshine Chair

This Ikea chair is now my sweet Little Miss Sunshine, dressed with that pair of yellow jeans from the thriftstore and held together with a former bathrobe belt. (PHOTO: yellow chair in front of red sofa)

What Did I Gain from This Project?

1. A new fun furniture look at zero cost.
2. The experience of creative transformation.
3. Joy and the feeling of accomplishment.
4. I get to keep, use and look at beloved items.
5. And I contribute to a sustainable environment.

You can do it, too! All it takes is a little reinvention spirit, a touch of courage and perhaps a rainy day to start the project. For more ideas and inspiration see my book: 17 STEPS TO BEING HOME.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you recently hesitated to let go of something you no longer use but still hold dear to your heart? How did you deal with this situation? Share your inspiration with this community. Every idea is a stepping stone to the next empowering project.

“Let’s brush our teeth before we kiss,” he said on our first date, implying I had bad breath! I was mortified. But I brushed my teeth, and we had a great first kiss.

That was decades ago, and now we’ve been married 27 years. When asked how I knew he was the one, I harken back to that first bold, brave, risky thing he said to me on our first date!

That’s when he won my trust and my heart.

Later, he told me how much he liked me on the first date and how much he wanted the first kiss to be great, but in fact, my garlic breath was distracting him. It was true: I often ate garlic and had been single for a while, and not managing my bodily smells too well, apparently.

Luckily, I was carefree enough not to think I could mess it up with “the one” and carefree enough to get over my embarrassment when he pointed out the truth.

Truth vs. PR

As a dating and relationship coach, I insist that my clients accept two very important edicts:

1. You can’t mess it up with “the one,” so be yourself, warts (and smells) and all.
2. Your first 3 dates are the optimal time for your true self to come out (and his).

Most people spend early dating in what I call “PR agent” mode, where you present only the sides of yourself you think will be attractive to the other person. There are a few problems that unfold from that strategy:

1. It’s exhausting.
2. You can’t keep up the show forever (the longest I’ve seen is 7 months).
3. Because your subconscious knows you’re acting, ironically, you’ll trust people (and love) less.

I advise the opposite approach: instead of feeling like you have to measure up to some unknowable standard, take the position that you’re the shopper. That means your date has to match what you’re looking for, and then you just have to see if you “can afford” him. In other words, “are you a good match for what he’s looking for?”

There’s no test, no measuring up, no putting on a show.

What Do You Gain?

Here’s the advantage of this alternative – being yourself as much as possible and hoping your date does the same (in the first three dates):

1. No pretending or hyping = less effort and stress, more ease.
2. You end up finding out much sooner whether or not you’re a match.
3. You learn to trust love when it comes.
4. BONUS: Maybe you become more accepting of your flaws when you realize everyone has them.

Dating from this perspective requires that you accept that everyone has “liabilities,” but when you find “your one,” those liabilities aren’t tragic. They could, in fact, be assets to the right person. My husband likes garlic too, and we both enjoy brushing our teeth – so that all worked out.

We’re Not About to Change

If you’re over 60 and dating, chances are you’re not planning to change much. You’re set in your ways to a large extent, and so are the people you’re going to date.

Accept Who You Are

I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the less I have the energy to care what other people think about my quirks.

I know there are some things about my personality that could be annoying, and for those I love, I keep them on a leash, but overall, I want to be the most fully expressed me I can be.

Even if you’ve never felt fully comfortable in your own skin, it’s never too late to develop the ability. Working on the issues (sorry if they aren’t as simply solved as bad breath!) builds confidence, as does coming to acceptance. Another liability I have is that I need a lot of time and space by myself. This is something I’ve just come to accept, and my husband accommodates.

Recognize Others’ Issues

If the first step is knowing, owning, and accepting your own (possible) “liabilities,” the next is learning how to determine (and accept) someone else’s. If you’re single, I have happy news from successful couples. Most were surprised about the liabilities they ended up accepting when all of the basic criteria were met for love.

You Can Work Through Most Liabilities

One of the secrets to finding and sustaining healthy love is knowing what’s most important to you in a partner, and the good news is that it’s a shorter list than you might think. Once basic needs are met, like a feeling of safety and trust, a sense that your lives will intertwine well together, and attraction, you find that you can work through a lot of the other details.

When you find “your one,” you’re going to want to know all his quirks, and you’ll be charmed by them, not mind them, or figure out how to tolerate or improve them. What I don’t want you to do is pretend they don’t exist, avoid, or ignore learning all about them!

What we all want most is to be fully seen and loved. It starts with you being able to do that for yourself. Once you get there, you can move on to the ultimate challenge of finding a person worthy of the same.

If someone is honest with you on the first date, reward them with kindness and honesty of your own. Better yet, you start the trend.

You’ll know it’s your person when they want to know all of you and offer their “eyes wide open” love in return. Don’t settle for anything less.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you use dating PR tricks or do you strive to be yourself when dating? Have you had to deal with the aftermath of dishonest dating? What liabilities do you have that aren’t too attractive?