Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

In my work with my community of women who are redefining after 50, I recently put together a mini workshop where we developed our personal mission statements for this stage of our lives.

Interestingly, as I set out to research and get some background for this project, I found tons of information on both corporate mission statements along with personal mission statements for younger people who are setting out on their career path. There was ZERO information on personal mission statements for women in our age range.

What Is a Mission Statement?

A mission statement is a short 3-4 sentence statement that captures your overall identity, values, and priorities. It does not go into detail about your goals. Rather, it describes what is important to you as you move forward. A couple of examples of personal mission statements (one of which is mine) are:

1. “To move through life flipping my hair and do all of the things in spite of my anxiety. To be the woman that my family and community needs me to be and to feel amazing doing it. Caring for myself through healthy eating and exercise because when I’m healthy and I feel good, I’m able to be the woman that my family and community can rely on. To be a woman who keeps her promises and commitments not only to others but also to herself.”
2. “To use my gifts of intelligence for the benefit and improvement of others. To make use of the wisdom, knowledge, and logical thinking capabilities which God has given me. To put these skills into action and find a way to do good in the world. To assist others in overcoming burdens and reaching their true potential.”

There is no wrong way to develop a personal mission statement. However, the language should convey what you plan to do or be rather than what you don’t plan to do or be. For example, instead of saying “I’m going to stop eating junk food,” I stated that I would “care for myself through healthy eating and exercise” so that I could better serve my community and family.

Why a Mission Statement After 50?

Many of the women with whom I work, find themselves redefining in some way after 50. Creating a personal mission statement can be a very helpful part of this process for several reasons:

We’ve Never Sat Down to Think About It!

Although we may have a general idea about what our values and priorities have been throughout our lives, how many of us have actually sat down, organized it, and written it down?

As we move forward in trying to figure out what we want to do for ourselves after 50, taking the time to reflect on what sort of woman we envision ourselves to be can be an important step in the process.

Our Priorities May Have Changed Along the Way

Our values, for the most part, have likely stayed consistent throughout our lives. However, our priorities can change in tune with our life circumstances.

Family has always been a priority for me, and it continues to be. I will drop everything else to be there for my husband, kids, grandchildren, and parents. (Dogs too!). But my family doesn’t need me to be available 24/7 like they did when I was raising my children. So, I find myself with time most days now to be able to prioritize other things (such as content creation and exercising).

I think many of us on this side of 50 are, for the first time, able to make ourselves and our dreams a priority.

It Provides Us with a Framework of What Motivates Us

Again, for many of the women in my community who know they want to redefine after 50, but aren’t quite sure what that looks like exactly, having a mission statement gives them a framework. A reminder of what sort of things motivate them and are important to incorporate into their life moving forward.

If you look at the second mission statement above, for example, you can see that for this person, spirituality is a big part of who they are. In addition, they are looking to move forward and to help people – especially people who might find themselves in difficult situations.

How to Start Formulating Your Own Personal Mission Statement

Allow yourself to reflect, visualize and journal. Close your eyes and think about the type of woman that you want to be after 50. Picture how you move through your day. Who is around you? What do your interactions look like?

Reflect on what you’d like people to say about you at your funeral. How do you want to be remembered? Brainstorm everything that comes into your mind.

This reflection will give you great insight into qualities that should be incorporated into your own personal mission statement.

Once you have your statement, write it down every day when you journal. Say it to yourself at least once daily.

And, if you’re so inclined, feel free to share your mission statement! After all, women over 50 with personal mission statements are pioneers!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever developed a personal mission statement at any other time during your life? What values and priorities are important to you as you move forward after 50? Let us know if you intend to create a personal mission statement for yourself!

Estrangement, the painful act of deliberately being cut off from someone close, casts a shadow of complexity over individuals and families alike. In this journey, we explore how recent research findings and heartfelt perspectives confront the poignant question: How long can one endure estrangement?

This article is for those who have been estranged and pine for reunification, whether hope is possible. Estrangement is a highly charged topic with polarizing perspectives and experiences. Research reports contributors cited by adult children include maltreatment and betrayal. On the other hand, parents relate attributions to external circumstances influencing their adult child’s cut-off. Interestingly, researcher and educator Kylie Agillias, author of Family Estrangement: A Matter of Perspective, includes the perspectives of the estranged and estrangers.

Given these points, it is fair to agree that maltreatment and abuse of any individual is intolerable. For adult children and parents who have endured abuse at the hands of their family members, it is not advised to seek reconciliation. Likewise, estrangement is a means to preserve one’s well-being where boundaries are essential. On the other hand, individuals whose experiences fall beyond maltreatment may desire reconciliation and resolution. This article hopes to emphasize and encourage those who grieve with the knowledge that you do not journey alone.

Varied Duration

Estrangement doesn’t conform to a fixed timeline; it dances across a spectrum, from fleeting moments of disconnection to enduring stretches of isolation. This variability echoes the emotional rollercoaster individuals traverse amidst the turmoil of estrangement.

Common Triggers

Unresolved conflicts, the deafening silence of communication breakdowns, and the chasm of differing values often incite estrangement. These triggers act as emotional landmines, detonating the duration of separation and leaving hearts wounded in their wake.

Impact on Mental Health

Long-term estrangement takes a toll on mental and physical health, breeding stress, anxiety, and depression. Time deepens these wounds, casting a shadow over the hopes of reconciliation and inner peace.

Role of Communication

In the void of effective communication, estrangement festers with each misunderstood word or strongly spoken opinion. Without the lifeline of open dialogue, the duration of estrangement stretches endlessly, a barren expanse devoid of connection.

Reconciliation Dynamics

Forgiveness, empathy, and mutual understanding flank the path to reconciliation. Yet these fragile elements are often elusive, prolonging the duration of estrangement as hearts yearn for the warmth of reconciliation. Dr. Karl Pillimer eloquently presents scores of individuals who traveled through estrangement and reconciliation. These successful reconcilers were able to have forward-facing relationships, abandoning the need to have the other acknowledge their version of the cut-off.

Family Structure Matters

Families should be a refuge of love and support. When contributors undermine the very structure of family bonds, the family stands fractured, its foundation weakened by estrangement. Without familial cohesiveness, the duration of estrangement stretches, leaving individuals with loss and grief.

Real-Life Perspectives

Short-Term Estrangements

Brief moments of estrangement sparked by incidents impact emotional well-being. Yet, as time passes and communication heals, these rifts can be bridged, restoring hope in the possibility of reconciliation.

Medium-Term Estrangements

The middle ground of estrangement stretches on, its duration measured not in moments but in months or even years. Amidst the stories of unresolved issues, individuals grapple with the silence, yearning for resolution.

Long-Term Estrangements

In the depths of long-term estrangement, time becomes a merciless foe, stretching into years and decades. Here, the scars of deep-seated conflicts and profound transformations fester, rendering reconciliation an elusive dream shrouded amid distant memories.

Factors Influencing Duration

Nature of the Conflict

The wounds of betrayal, abuse, and unresolved grievances concretize the hold of estrangement, prolonging its duration with each unhealed wound.

Personal Growth

With personal growth, individuals undergo profound transformations, reshaping their relationships and priorities. Yet the duration of estrangement stretches as individuals define their new identities and shift boundaries.

External Support

Without external support, the journey through estrangement becomes solitary, and isolation can stretch the duration. However, professional help offers hope, guiding hearts toward healing and reconciliation.

Coping Strategies

Therapeutic Interventions

In therapy, hearts find validation in the hold of estrangement, the duration of separation is shortened by empathy and understanding. Empathy is an opportunity for personal transformation. However, empathy is unwise in the absence of boundaries. Therapists and estrangement coaches encourage setting a fence around one’s heart, which provides a framework for growth and safety.

Communication Skills Training

Communication skills training and preparing for future opportunities with family members will provide a newfound grace. As dialogue and connection improve, the duration of separation will lessen. Confident communication skills also foster empowerment to weather disappointment or reconciliation.

Individual Resilience

Resilience allows individuals to find strength during the hardships of estrangement. The duration of separation can shorten by the determination to move ahead, one step at a time. Resilience supports individuals in sustaining desired outcomes.

Navigating Long-Term Estrangement

Self-Reflection

Self-reflection partners with personal growth to bring added support during the pain of estrangement. During the sting of an extended separation, self-reflection softens the burden of separation with healing and growth. Individuals exercising inner healing and growth, an ongoing practice of patience, grace, and gratitude, experience better mental health outcomes.

Mutual Understanding

The duration of separation is shortened by the tender bonds of empathy within the desire to see one’s family. Mutual understanding is where hearts find hope in each other after estrangement. Unchosen estrangement is a heartbreaking affair where the loss of the relationship status is a haunting daily reminder of grief.

On the other hand, the extended trauma of individuals who have been abused also carries the traumatic reminder. The ill family system at its worst, grieving what could have been – the hurtful elements of shared grief, loss, and unwanted memories. Healing is available when personal growth, self-reflection, interventions, and resilience enter the space of desire and duration.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What has assisted you during your time of estrangement? What encouragement can you offer others hoping to resume relationships with their family?

Recently, I learned my DNA ancestry composition is only 3.4% Italian, and I thought “how could that be?” I assumed my love for Italy meant I have lots of Italian blood coursing through my veins. Turns out, I’m Italian mostly at heart!

Prior to September 2023, I’d visited Italy twice, once in my 40s and once at age 50. I was traveling solo then and opted to book with tour groups of around 20 people. The 1st visit was a food and wine tour through Tuscany and Umbria, the 2nd, a walking tour along the Amalfi Coast.

Finally, I Got to Plan My Dream Trip!

The prior trips to Italy via organized tour groups were amazing. Yet I had a deep desire to plan and live out my version of an Italian dream trip. That opportunity came later rather than sooner, but I finally insisted to my partner I intended to schedule a trip to Northern Italy for September 2023.

While planning the trip to Italy, an opportunity to travel to Japan for May 2023 materialized. My article “Wanderlust in Japan and Elsewhere” describes that trip. I was more than eager to travel to Japan, but I was not about to let that trip replace my long-awaited return to Italy!

Travel by Rail

Travel by rail in Japan (our first experience doing so) gave us the confidence boost we needed to take on Northern Italy by rail. Train travel is affordable and fun, eliminating the hassle of renting a car and the stress of driving in a foreign country. We could sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery as we moved from one destination to the next.

“How to Travel by Train in Italy” is an informative article if you are planning rail travel in Italy. There are several smartphone apps available to buy tickets and manage your trip. I relied on the user friendly Omio Travel App, and it worked great for me (small 3^rd party fee). Rome to Rio is another app I found helpful in planning our travels.

My personal comfort cushion was to arrive 45 minutes before departure from large train stations such as Milan Centrale, and I especially recommend it if it’s your first time train traveling. For smaller stations, 30 minutes worked nicely for us. The trains we booked were mostly prompt, varying a few minutes here and there.

Beautiful Northern Italy

The article Northern Italy Region and Where to Visit provides information on the various regions of upper Italy. This area is truly a treasure, based on its culture and stunning landscapes. We had the pleasure of traveling to various destinations within each region.

I tailored our trip based on our personal preferences as to pace, destinations, hotels, and tours. Our style of travel will not suit everyone, but it works for us in this season of our lives. We prefer to take full advantage of new travel destinations, so we pack in a lot!

Our 19-day sojourn through Northern Italy was short/fast-paced as to city-time. We balanced it out with longer, more relaxing (yet active) stays in the countryside. I hope the following details of our itinerary and my reflections will be insightful and timesaving for anyone who wishes to plan and book such a trip themselves.

Romantic Venice

Duration

1 night. 9:25 AM arrival at Venice Marco Polo Airport via overnight flight. 5:18 PM departure next day via Frecciarossa high-speed train from Venice Santa Lucia Station to Verona Porta Nuova station.

Accommodations

St. Regis Venice (splurge/used points).

Highlights

‘Alone in St. Mark’s & Doge’s Palace Tour‘ after hours (6 pm to 10 pm); evening in St. Marks Piazza; outdoor lunch on the Grand Canal (at the hotel); accidental visit to Murano.

Helpful Link

Venice Travel Tips

Reflections

I planned a brief visit to Venice, thinking I would not want to stay long. In retrospect, I would have enjoyed another ½ day and night in the unique atmosphere of the ‘Floating City’. In route from the airport to our hotel, we accidentally exited our Alilaguna Water Bus on the Island of Murano (a destination I didn’t think I could fit into our brief stay). Murano is famous for its long tradition of glassmaking, and we enjoyed our unintentional visit!

By booking night tours, we could perfectly accommodate our tight schedule, while also avoiding large daytime crowds. The break between our tours allowed us to relax and enjoy one of many outdoor cafes in St. Mark’s Square.

Sipping cocktails and eating nibbles, while enjoying orchestra music, people watching, and a stunning view of St. Mark’s Basilica. Our favorite splurge in Venice was a water taxi transfer from our hotel to the train station upon departure. It was a wonderful way to experience the Grand Canal.

Charming Verona

Duration

1 night. Departed Venice Santa Lucia station at 5:18 PM via Frecciarossa high-speed train and arrived at Verona Porta Nuova station at 6:30 PM.

Accommodations

Hotel Giulietta e Romeo

Highlights

Piazza Bra (Arena); Piazza Erbe (Juliet’s house, Torre Dei Lamberti); Ponte Pietra Bridge.

Helpful Link

Verona Itinerary-Best things to do in Verona in 1, 2 or 3 days

Reflections

Verona, a less touristed but charming city, is renowned for being the backdrop of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. The city embraces the story yet has many other attractions. We enjoyed self-touring and loved experiencing our one evening in the electric atmosphere generated by a summer opera performance at the historical Verona Arena.

Because of our brief visit, we opted to tour the city on foot rather than attend the Verona Opera, but I can’t imagine a more magical opera venue. It would have been ideal to tour Verona for another half day.

Enchanting Ortisei

Duration

4 nights. 12:20 PM departure Verona Porta Nuova station; 1:48 PM arrival at Bolzano/Bozen Station via Frecciarossa high-speed train. Short walk to catch Bus 350 (inexpensive/hot/crowded) to Ortisei.

Accommodations

Hotel Gardena Grodnerhof

Highlights

Seceda Peaks; Alpe di Siusi; Lago di Braies; stunning views; multi fitness levels of hiking.

Helpful Link

Dolomites (Rick Steves’)

Reflections

Ortisei served as our home base for exploring the Dolomites, one of my favorite destinations on our itinerary. Heaven on earth is not an exaggeration when describing this beautiful area. The Dolomites were one of the places we visited where a rental car would be useful, but we managed without one. It was easy to get around the town on foot. It was a short walk to each of the two lifts that access the scenic Seceda Peaks and the Alpe di Siusi.

We spent the better part of two days exploring the foregoing, taking short hikes that included stops at cute little alpine huts to enjoy the scenery, a bite, and a beverage. Otherwise, we had the hotel arrange a car/driver for one full day to explore other parts of the region, including visits to the stunning Lago di Braies (a hike around this lake or boat rental not to be missed) and the city of Cortina. I would absolutely love to visit the Dolomites again!

Fabulous Milan

Duration

1 night. Departed Bolzano/Bozen Station at 1:12 PM via Frecciarossa high-speed train, arriving at Milan Centrale at 4:21 PM.

Accommodations

Hotel Milano Castello

Highlights

The Best of Milan Tour; Da Vinci’s ‘The Last Supper; ‘ Duomo; the Galleria.

Helpful Link

Where to Stay in Milan; 8 Incredible Areas and Epic Hotels

Reflections

We experienced Milan in a whirlwind! Similar to Venice and Verona, it was a city I wished to see on the way to the next countryside stop. I was mainly interested in the Milan Duomo and Da Vinci’s The Last Supper, the latter of which requires a timed reservation. The only available tour on the needed date was a full day of walking to see multiple sites in Milan, which included tickets to The Last Supper.

So, after a good night’s sleep, we ate an early breakfast, checked out of our hotel and had them store our luggage. We then set off on foot to meet our tour group and enjoyed a busy day sight-seeing in Milan. By the time we finished the tour, retrieved our luggage, and headed to the train station, we were happily exhausted!

Relaxing Lake Maggiore/Stresa

Duration

3 nights. Departed Milan Centrale station at 5:25 PM and arrived at Stresa station at 6:37 PM via Regionale Trenord train.

Accommodations

Grand Hotel Des Iles Borromees

Highlights

Isola Bella; strolling lake promenade; shopping; restaurants; town center.

Helpful Link

Where to Stay on Lago Maggiore

Reflections

My original plan was to visit the more popular Lake Como. Unfortunately, I didn’t book early enough to secure a reservation. Stresa, on Lake Maggiore, is a great alternative. If not better! We splurged on a historical hotel frequented by the likes of Ernest Hemingway and savored the most beautiful sunsets from our balcony overlooking the lake.

Mostly, we relaxed and self-toured, taking a boat ride out to see the stunning Isola Bella, whose gardens are not to be missed. Also, Stresa provided the perfect opportunity to do laundry, since we each traveled light with a carry-on and backpack. For an extended stay, a car rental would be handy to explore the area and take a day trip to Switzerland.

Moody Piedmont-Wine, Truffles and Turin

Duration

2 nights. Departed Stresa station at 12:36 PM via Regionale train and arrived at Rho Fiera metro station (Milan) at 2:00 PM. Transferred to Frecciarossa high-speed train and departed at 2:29 PM, arriving at Turin Porta Nuova station at 3:21 PM.

Accommodations

Turin Palace Hotel

Highlights

Barolo wine tasting; farmhouse lunch with truffle dishes; truffle hunt; alluring scenery.

Helpful Link

The Piedmont Region of Italy: Complete Guide to Best Places

Reflections

Turin served as our jump-off to visit wine, hazelnut, and truffle country in Northern Italy. With such a quick visit, we didn’t tour Turin itself, only visiting what was within walking distance of our hotel. That said, Turin is a lesser traveled, but worthy destination. A rental car would come in handy if visiting the Piedmont wine region. Since we didn’t have one, we opted for our hotel to secure a car/driver for the day.

We then set out for wine country to enjoy a lovely Barolo wine tasting and vineyard visit, followed by a delicious truffle centric lunch at a lovely little farmhouse. After lunch, we enjoyed taking part in a truffle hunt, our enthusiastic truffle dog securing one black truffle for us! We were back at our hotel by late afternoon and able to see a bit of Turin before our departure the next morning.

Magical Santa Margherita Ligure/Italian Riviera

Duration

3 nights. Departed Turin Porta Nuova station at 10:25 AM via Regionale Veloce train and arrived at Savona station at 12:41 PM. Then switched to Regionale train departing at 1:10 PM and arriving at Santa Margherita-Ligure-Portofino station at 3:01 PM. To visit Cinque Terre, we took a Regionale Veloce train from SML, then traveled between villages (5 minutes apart) via the Cinque Terre Express train system.

Accommodations

Grand Hotel Miramare

Highlights

Waterfront; restaurants; day trip to Cinque Terre; ferry ride to visit Portofino.

Helpful Link

The 7 Best Italian Riviera Towns and How to Enjoy Them

Reflections

Just when you think it can’t get any better, it does! The Italian Riviera is magical, meeting my expectations based on the amazing online photos I’d viewed. The town of Santa Margherita Ligure (SML) is one of its gems, serving as our seaside base camp and a jump-off to explore the area. I would easily agree to an extended stay in this dreamy resort region!

We had the grace of lovely weather during our visit, enhancing our stay and our ferry ride to see the popular celebrity destination of Portofino. The villages comprising Cinque Terre were a highlight despite the crowds (even in September) and despite the equally busy Cinque Terre Express trains. You can also hike between villages if preferred. My favorite experience was taking in a stunning sunset in the Village of Riomaggiore. I recommend visiting Cinque Terre early in the morning, or late afternoon/early evening when the crowds are smaller.

All Roads Lead to Rome!

Duration

2 nights. Departed Santa Margherita Ligure-Portofino station at 7:12 AM on a Regionale train, arriving at Rapallo station at 7:15 AM. Switched to Frecciarossa high-speed train departing at 7:57 AM, arriving at Rome Termini station at 11:32 AM. Upon departure from Rome, we opted to take a cab to Leonardo da Vinci Fiumicino Airport (about 40 minutes from our hotel).

Accommodations

Baglioni Hotel Regina

Highlights

Skip the Line Vatican Tour with Sistine Chapel and St. Peters; Special Access Colosseum Arena Floor Tour/Roman Forum, Palatine Hill Tour; Pantheon; Trevi Fountain.

Helpful Link

Planning a Trip to Rome

Reflections

My partner really wanted to explore the ‘Eternal City’ even though it is not in Northern Italy. Turns out, it was a perfect place to end our trip! We departed SML early in the morning, embarking on a relaxing 3 and a ½ hour scenic train ride along the coast and through the Tuscan countryside.

Upon arrival in Rome, we transferred to our hotel for early check-in, then took a cab to Café Vaticano, the meeting spot for our 2:30 PM Vatican/St. Peter’s Basilica tour. We had just enough time to eat lunch before the tour began. Honestly, the crowds touring the Vatican Museum and the Sistine Chapel were claustrophobic during this time. I’d highly recommend a private or small group tour in the evening for a more meaningful experience.

As for hotel accommodations, it was hard to choose where to stay in Rome, partially since I waited too long to book. If your primary goal is sightseeing ancient landmarks, I recommend booking early to secure a hotel near those attractions.

Our 2^nd tour, taken the next morning, was the most enjoyable for us. After the tour, we spent the afternoon exploring on our own with visits to the Pantheon and the Trevi Fountain (other areas to visit early morning or evening to avoid the massive crowds). Our busy day culminated with dinner at a street café and then back to the hotel to pack for our early morning flight home.

Arrivederci!

No doubt, this trip was a big splurge for us. It was expensive but using banked travel points helped with airfare and hotel expenses. Good news, you can enjoy this itinerary on a tighter budget! September was a lovely time to visit Italy. May is another good choice, with both months being just off-season.

Best of all, we created such lovely memories! Such as immersing ourselves in the incredible culture and scenery of Northern Italy (and Rome) and visiting many historical sites. Tasty Aperol Spritz aperitifs were fabulous in the late afternoon, as was eating delicious gelato anytime! Until next time, arrivederci and Viva Italia!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you traveled to Italy? What are your favorite Italian destinations and why? What tips and hacks do you recommend for traveling in Italy?

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Photo: @kristincavallari

Originally posted at: Kristin Cavallari’s Denim Pullover

Lindsay Hubbard’s Brown Sunglasses / Summer House Season 8 Episode 5 Fashion

We all know Lindsay Hubbard and Amanda Batula have had their issues in the past. Thankfully the only shade(s) being shown here on their drive to The Hamptons are Lindsay’s brown sunglasses. Sunnies are great for sunny summer days, but they are always a must for driving no matter what time of year. And for that reason we all need to re-route ourselves below to shop a new pair.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Originally posted at: Lindsay Hubbard’s Brown Sunglasses