To give and receive love is a natural, universal desire.
Why, then, do most people feel awkward with self-love, choosing instead the unpredictable path of seeking love outside themselves?
Where does this need to rely on other people to validate our worthiness to be loved come from? And how can we begin to love more of ourselves after 60, despite how uncomfortable it may be at first?
We are going to answer these questions and more as we begin part two of my new six-part series on “The Art of Self-Love After 60”. In this series, we are focusing on ways to stimulate love, bliss, and pleasure on our own terms.
If you missed the first article in this series, please read 7 STEPS TO TURN UP THE HEAT ON YOUR LOVE LIFE.
Love Yourself Like No Other
The pursuit of love outside of ourselves is deeply entrenched into the psyche of society. It has gone on for so long that many are unaware of the extent to which they forsake their own well-being to be loved and wanted by others.
Being in a loving relationship with others can create extraordinarily joyful experiences. But when we place our sense of self-worth in the hands of others, we become separated from the one person who can love us like no other.
That would be our own self.
Our innate ability to love ourselves is incredibly powerful. For this reason, love has been widely distorted and manipulated in society as a means to disconnect us from who we are, forcing us to unknowingly give away our power to love without limits.
To restore our natural connection to the power of love requires that we individually rewrite the stories about what true love is and where it can be accessed.
Is There a Price on Love?
The basic premise of the stories about love we have been sold on as true stretch back to early childhood. Most of them carry three themes:
Theme 1
To get what you want, you must follow the rules of life, as they were instilled in you as a child. If you disobey, you will not receive the love you desire nor will you feel the safety, security, and value of being loved.
Theme 2
Love can be given to you, and it can be taken away from you. This is intricately tied to the first theme, producing a belief that love is something you must sacrifice yourself for in order to earn your right to have it.
Theme 3
Love is scarce and fickle. One moment love is like a fairytale delivering pleasure and bliss, whereas the next moment love is akin to a nightmare. In that scenario, love appears to be missing, producing acute pain and deep sorrow.
When you begin to connect the dots between these themes and your experiences with love, you begin to realize there is a steep price to pay to give and receive love.
10 Steps to Feel Worthy of Love
What if you didn’t have to pay a price for love? What if all you had to do to have access to the power of love is to stop believing love is outside of you?
With a mindful approach to self-love, these 10 steps can help you foster your own inner sense of well-being and nurture the love you seek from others from within.
Reframe Self-Talk
Identify and challenge negative thoughts and limiting beliefs about love. Replace these with positive affirmations.
Practice Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with as much love and compassion as you would treat your lover or a close friend. Show love, understanding and kindness to yourself, especially when you encounter mistakes or setbacks.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Ensure you are treated with love and respect in all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself.
Stay Socially Connected
Join groups or communities that uplift and support women. Engaging with others, online and offline, can boost feelings of self-worth and connectedness.
Counseling or Therapy
A professional therapist or counselor can provide timely guidance on navigating feelings of unworthiness. They can also offer proven strategies to build your self-esteem.
Rediscover Your Passions
Engage in hobbies and activities you love. This not only boosts your self-esteem and strengthens your worthiness for love but also opens you up to meet like-minded individuals.
Stay Physically Active
Exercise is not only good for physical health but also mental well-being. It boosts your mood, increases energy, and creates a healthy, positive self-image.
Dress Confidently
Your outfits are not about dressing to impress others but wearing clothes what make you feel confident, happy, and sexy.
Seek Stories of Inspiration
There are countless stories of women over 60 finding love, embracing change, and starting new chapters. Seek out these stories for motivation. Sixty and Me is an ideal place to start.
Educate Yourself
Read books or attend workshops on self-worth, relationships, and self-love.
Remember that age doesn’t define one’s worthiness of love. Everyone is deserving of love, joy, and happiness. None more so than you.
I invite you to join me in the video above where I share five bonus steps to self love as well as guide you through three journal prompts to integrate what you are learning.
Let’s Have a Discussion:
Does it feel uncomfortable to love yourself? How are you loving more of yourself after 60? What resources have helped you on your self-love journey?
