Melissa Gorga’s Black and Gold Mirrored Shield Sunglasses

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 11 Episode 2 Fashion

We’ve seen Melissa Gorga in her fair share of mirrored and shield sunglasses, but her black and gold pair on tonight’s Real Housewives of New Jersey have combined both of those features and pretty much quadrupled the price. I like them, but all I’m saying is that I’m happy I scooped up a lot of the ‘Wives sunglasses before they started dipping their freshly manicured toes into the $500+ price point. I might have to start creating my own shade before I fork over that much. Though knowing me, I can be convinced by a really, really special pair—but I’d be really committed to never cheat on them. At least around Teresa, because then it would never be kept a secret.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Chanel Mirrored Shield Sunglasses

Originally posted at: Melissa Gorga’s Black and Gold Mirrored Shield Sunglasses

Feelings of loneliness have always been an issue. The pandemic has only magnified this as we continue to social distance and so many means of congregation remain shut down. Covid or no Covid, it is always a good time to learn ways to combat loneliness and instead revel in one’s solitude. Here is how to do it:

Understand the Power of Semantics

Loneliness and being alone are not the same thing. This is big. Loneliness and being alone are not the same thing. Say it again and again and at least one more time. We need to understand the difference between these two words.

Loneliness is when we are sad because we want interaction with someone else. Alone is just not having someone else physically near you. There is no feeling inherently associated with being alone. That is a conscious or subconscious connection we make to equate loneliness with being alone.

Once we understand the semantics, we can separate the physical state of being alone from the feeling of loneliness and instead replace it with the peace and comfort of solitude.

Stop Judging

There are many reasons to find yourself alone at times. Often, the pain of loneliness does not come from lacking interaction with other people but from the judgement we place on being alone.

We imagine we are alone because we are not liked. We think people have purposely excluded us from activities because we are not loved or simply not enjoyable to be around. We spiral into thoughts that make us feel we are ugly or boring or too loud or too quiet.

Could these things be true? Of course, but it is also very possible we have not come to a rational conclusion as to why we have been excluded; if we were even excluded at all. What is the point in judging ourselves or others? It only brings about resentment and despair.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”—Theodore Roosevelt

The “young’uns” have an acronym, FOMO, which stands for Fear Of Missing Out. Everyone else’s life may look shiny and perfect on social media, but it rarely reflects the truth of real life. Stop comparing and judging. This is the only way to find true happiness.

Be Your Own Best Friend

You may be worried that this is just sour grapes or worse, a gateway to insanity. You don’t want to find yourself yelling at your basketball, Wilson, sure that he left the milk on the table. But this is not the case. You must love yourself to enjoy solitude.

 “Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.”—Mary Sarton

Treat yourself like you would a dear friend. You would not allow your friend to judge themselves with a tirade of insults without comforting them and negating each cruel word. Do not allow your mind to abuse you.

Listen to the mean things you tell yourself then take a second to step back and be your own best friend. Tell yourself what you would tell a friend who just said those things about themselves. Say it out loud if possible. It will make it stronger. It will make you stronger.

Make plans to do things with yourself that you enjoy. You are wonderful company! You know exactly what you like, and you know exactly how you want things done. Thank yourself for all of the nice things you do for yourself. Make yourself feel loved and appreciated.

Buy yourself a little something you like, or take yourself on a small excursion you would just love, and then thank yourself for all of it. Isn’t there that movie you’ve been wanting to watch that you have suggested to your friends a hundred times and no one ever wants to watch it. Well, now you have time to watch it yourself. So, enjoy!  

Find and Do What You Love

Find what brings you true joy. Be honest with yourself. You cannot help but enjoy your solitude if you are doing something you love. Don’t know what you love? Now is the time to sit down and figure that out.

Write down what has brought you joy in the past and whatever your heart has been longing to do and work from there. Then, be as productive or nonproductive as you care to be.

Start projects and hobbies and you will feel in control of your alone time. You may even find yourself wanting to carve out more alone time. When you have direction and set goals for your free time, you will eliminate that feeling of helplessness that often accompanies loneliness.

Rejuvenate for Interaction

The last step instructs you to do what brings you joy. But what if what brings you joy is being around other people? No need to fret. People need solitude and alone time to prepare and rejuvenate the soul for when they do interact with other people.

When you throw a party, yes, the end result is being with people, but the preparation often needs to be done alone. There can be much happiness in the solitude of planning for when you are not alone.

Schedule things to do with others. Relax and rest so you have the energy and positive attitude when you do mingle with people. Many individuals are surprised at how much more present, connected, and content they feel in crowds once they just take the time to rejuvenate in solitude.

I do want to be clear that this is a helpful list for enjoying solitude and not feeling lonely. This is not treatment for clinical depression or anxiety. If you think you may be clinically depressed or anxious, please seek medical help through a physician and trained counselor. If you notice suicidal thoughts, call for help immediately at:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you simply would like to learn how to enjoy your solitude, follow these guidelines, and I suspect you will find much happiness with your alone time.

In what circumstances do you feel lonely? When you notice loneliness creeping in, can you transform it into a positive feeling? What do you do to enjoy your solitude and keep from feeling lonely? Let’s talk about it.

For those of us who grew up in the early-aughts, one of our first big designer bags was from Coach. Maybe you even borrowed your mom’s vintage carryalls from the ’90s. We’ve pretty much grown up with the brand. After a blip where there wasn’t a ton of newness, Coach is coming back with a vengeance with on-trend clothes, bags, and now, a limited-edition Coach x Sephora Collection line.

The ultra-fun collection features Coach’s iconic motifs and mascots with Sephora Collection makeup inside. “I wanted to create something playful but also very Coach—really rooted in a rich color palette that recalls our leather heritage,” Coach creative director Stuart Vevers said in a statement. “Like a beloved bag or favorite piece of
outerwear, makeup is about creativity and style and with Sephora we were able to find another way to celebrate self-expression.”

There are seven products to choose from with eyeshadow, lip gloss, nail polish, eye masks, face palettes and brushes. The line drops March 2 and you can shop them all, below.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Rexy Eyeshadow Palette

Six eyeshadows in mattes, metallics and shimmers.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Tea Rose Brush Set

Five face and eye brushes in a brush stand with detachable rings.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Tea Rose Eye Mask Set

Three pairs of cucumber-rose infused under-eye patches.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Tea Rose Nail Set

A high-shine pink polish, quick-dry two-in-one base/top coat and nail stickers.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Uni Face Palette

A creamy blush, shimmery highlighter and matte bronzer.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Tea Rose Lipgloss Set

Four high-shine, non-sticky glosses infused with peppermint oil.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Sharky Eyeshadow Palette

Six eyeshadows in mattes, metallics and shimmers.

For those of us who grew up in the early-aughts, one of our first big designer bags was from Coach. Maybe you even borrowed your mom’s vintage carryalls from the ’90s. We’ve pretty much grown up with the brand. After a blip where there wasn’t a ton of newness, Coach is coming back with a vengeance with on-trend clothes, bags, and now, a limited-edition Coach x Sephora Collection line.

The ultra-fun collection features Coach’s iconic motifs and mascots with Sephora Collection makeup inside. “I wanted to create something playful but also very Coach—really rooted in a rich color palette that recalls our leather heritage,” Coach creative director Stuart Vevers said in a statement. “Like a beloved bag or favorite piece of
outerwear, makeup is about creativity and style and with Sephora we were able to find another way to celebrate self-expression.”

There are seven products to choose from with eyeshadow, lip gloss, nail polish, eye masks, face palettes and brushes. The line drops March 2 and you can shop them all, below.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Rexy Eyeshadow Palette

Six eyeshadows in mattes, metallics and shimmers.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Tea Rose Brush Set

Five face and eye brushes in a brush stand with detachable rings.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Tea Rose Eye Mask Set

Three pairs of cucumber-rose infused under-eye patches.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Tea Rose Nail Set

A high-shine pink polish, quick-dry two-in-one base/top coat and nail stickers.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Uni Face Palette

A creamy blush, shimmery highlighter and matte bronzer.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Tea Rose Lipgloss Set

Four high-shine, non-sticky glosses infused with peppermint oil.

Sephora.

Coach x Sephora Collection Sharky Eyeshadow Palette

Six eyeshadows in mattes, metallics and shimmers.

Losing a loved one can be one of the most difficult experiences to deal with in our later years. Losing a spouse or long-term partner is different than the death of a distant relative or even a pet. Our lifetime of memories is cut short and leaves a dark hole of grief in its place. People, older people especially, may turn to substance abuse when this happens.

When Grief Masks an Addiction

Oliver was in his late 70s when his wife, Bella, passed away from the ravages of her 30-year struggle with alcohol abuse. He had tried to get Bella to quit for decades, yet he covered for her at every turn – even hiding the empty bottles in the garage so the neighbors wouldn’t see them.

Just weeks after Bella’s death, Oliver was unable to cope with the loss and overwhelming guilt and helplessness he had felt because of his wife’s drinking problem. Used to buying her large quantities of liquor, he soon began buying them for himself.

Eventually, one evening he got so intoxicated, he wandered out into a snowstorm. He was found dead laying in a snow berm by neighbors the next morning.

No one had noticed the addiction as they had all chalked up Oliver’s odd behavior to his newfound grief.

Chemically Coping When Losing a Spouse 

People like Oliver don’t turn to drugs and alcohol because they’re bad people. Often, they turn to it to mask a problem in their life, like the death of a spouse or close loved one. Life can be overwhelmingly beautiful and sad simultaneously.

The pain that comes from an unpredictable loss of a spouse may seem insurmountable, especially at the beginning. Even when someone knows their spouse has a terminal illness, death seems cruel. Drugs and alcohol can temporarily take away the pain because of the way they affect the brain. 

These substances can speed up or depress the body’s systems, depending on the chemical used. They mainly work within the central nervous system (CNS), which is made up of the brain and spinal cord. According to Harvard’s Health Blog, here’s the list of hormones affected by drugs and alcohol:

• Endorphins: These brain chemicals are known as “pleasure hormones.”
• Serotonin: It regulates happiness, anxiety, and mood in general. It also helps with sleep, nausea, bowel movements, and bone health. 
• Dopamine: This is in charge of reward-seeking, mood, memory, and more. 
• Epinephrine: It’s also known as adrenaline. It triggers the body’s “fight or flight” response. 
• Norepinephrine: This plays a role in mood, ability to concentrate, and stress. 

Drugs and alcohol can make a person feel happy and relaxed by manipulating these hormones. So, substance abuse might seem like the solution to coping with losing a spouse, but it has only a temporary effect.

Drugs and Alcohol Aren’t a Good Option for Coping with Loss

According to the journal Substance Abuse Treatment, Prevention, and Policy, people more often than not, admit to turning to alcohol when grieving the loss of a spouse.

Despite the risks involved to older folks, many Americans abuse drugs and alcohol. The 2017 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) found that 1 in 12 American adults suffer from a substance use disorder.

That translates into 18.7 million American adults. Some research shows that widows aren’t any more likely to be a part of this statistic than women who aren’t widowed. Yet, certain peer-reviewed research shows that widows over the age of 60 were 1.37 times more likely to use drugs and even more will use alcohol to drown their grief.

Additionally, studies show that it didn’t matter how long a woman was widowed. The pain of losing a husband can last a lifetime without the proper help. 

Oftentimes, a seemingly helpful doctor may prescribe “a little something” to help you sleep or cope. However, if you find yourself “needing” the drugs to cope weeks into your grief, it’s time to switch to natural and healthy ways to cope.

If you or someone you know has lost a spouse, consider what using substances to cope can do: 

• Weakens the immune system; 
• Can lead to heart conditions; 
• Might make a person nauseous;
• Can result in bodily aches and pains; 
• Leads to brain damage over time; 
• Can cause seizures, mental confusion, and strokes; 
• Might lead to lung disease; 
• Will lead to death in many cases. 

Time to Take Action

If your loved ones identify these signs and symptoms in your behavior following the loss of your spouse or long-term partner, it may be time to enter serious treatment: 

• Inability to stop using drugs and alcohol; 
• Ignoring responsibilities to use substances instead; 
• Doing drugs and alcohol in inappropriate scenarios (i.e., driving); 
• Spending an excessive amount of money on drugs and alcohol; 
• Worse mental health. 

Positive Ways to Cope with Losing a Spouse

Substance abuse isn’t the answer to healing after the loss of a spouse. Instead, explore the positive ways to cope with losing a loved one to jumpstart the healing process. Certain activities can heal the mind and heart at the same time. Some of these include: 

• Spending time in nature 
• Journaling 
• Creating art 
• Exercising 
• Meditating 
• Trying out therapy 
• Attending a support group for widows 
• Joining a support group for widows online 

Before using drugs and alcohol to mask the pain of grief, try out a healthy coping mechanism. Just try it for five minutes. Then, maybe you’ll want to do 10 minutes more. 

Making the decision to step away from substances in troubled times may save your very life. Also, make sure to rely on friends and family. They can act as a strong support network, even if it’s tough to reach out.

If you have lost a loved one, how did you cope? Did, at any moment, the thought of trying chemical oblivion cross your mind? Did you give into it? Why or why not? Please share your experience with substance abuse, whatever it may be. We are here to support each other.