Retirement is a fruitful time to develop creative projects and activities that inspire and increase the general health of your mind, body, and spirit. So, let’s get creative!

During my working years I wrote textbooks on acting as well as a plethora of articles for magazines and PR firms, plus a boatload of Hollywood screenplays.

I can’t paint, draw, or play an instrument. I was born to be an actress, teacher, and speaker, and I’m happy and more than grateful for all these creative outlets.

However, in retirement, I’ve been writing books, blogs, and speeches. Writing has been my passion as well as my creative joy throughout my 60s. The gift of writing for Sixty and Me continues to help me discover more color, contrast, and curiosity in my life.

And then another idea hit me in my 70s. I determined that if I wanted to call myself a real writer, I would have to enter the world of fiction.

I’d always written non-fiction and opinion pieces, yet the real and true path that would eventually challenge my writing skills and abilities was to create stories that come from my imagination.

Finding Inspiration

If you love nature, you are quite likely a creative person. Loving nature means that you have developed your five senses, your intuition, and environmental awareness.

Loving nature means you have an inherent ability to develop a creative environment that manifests itself through your mind, body, and spirit. This creative process expands your vision and perspective about how you are living your life culturally, emotionally, and intellectually.

Taking a Leap of Faith

My mother used to say to me, “Joanie, never fear anything. It’s a waste of time. Besides, it’s more fun to be surprised by life.”

My mother was a force of nature and a creative icon to be reckoned with. She never held back from taking leaps of faith while staying conscious and aware. She never feared the unknown. She and my father built homes, condos, and apartment buildings into their early 80s.

Avoiding Resistance

Being creative means turning your ideas into reality – putting your imagination to work. Creativity presupposes that you have the ability to examine opportunities and possibilities that you never thought of before.

When you ask yourself, “What if?” it is then you see that the world is your oyster and your imagination soars.

Yet, it is unfortunate that it is human nature to resist. Resistance is the opposite of creativity. Resistance is toxic to your soul and gets in the way of everything you think you want to imagine and explore.

In your early childhood years, the world is limitless, but as you grow older, you become cautious and lose your ability to expand your world and take chances. As a result, thinking becomes repetitive and predictable.

Being creative means stretching your mind and mastering a new way of thinking that involves exploring and experiencing, questioning and accumulating new information, and recognizing that everything you’ve ever done, everything you’ve every learned adds to your journey of creativity.

Color, Contrast, Curiosity

The following are three ways to enhance creativity after 60 and overcome the diminishing capacity to imagine without limitations.

Look for Color in Your World

Every day, all day, you see color – in your homes, dwellings, clothes, food; in the outside environment –the sky, cars, trees, water, facades, interiors. And the list goes on.

Most people ignore colors. But, suppose you make an intention to see as many colors in your world as possible and make a list of those colors. This activity would necessitate staying fully conscious, fully aware during the day. Artists – painters and designers – do this naturally because it stimulates creativity. Try noticing different colors and blending them into creative ideas. Discover how this exercise stretches your imagination.

Look for Contrast

Contrast is everywhere in life and begins when you wake up in the morning: the thought of a great day but your body is tired and sore; the warmth of your home and the cold temperatures outside. You experience hundreds of contrasts daily.

Contrasts are the meat and potatoes of the living experience and the key to developing creative ideas. Contrasts enrich the human experience and tap into your imagination, as well as stimulate curiosity and provoke the idea of “what if.”

Be Curious

Mental gridlock is the devil you encounter frequently. It teaches you nothing about your life and even worse, it inhibits stretching your mind. In fact, mental gridlock turns off your neuro-transmitters – adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin – and keeps you stuck in mental quicksand.

The only way out of the mental stagnation is to be constantly curious about life, relationships, behavior, and changes that are constants in life. Ask yourself what’s on the other side of your mind? What is challenging, new, and provocative? Take risks and be willing to make glorious mistakes.

More importantly, tap into your vulnerabilities. Vulnerability is the key to creativity. Acknowledge your emotions and be brave. Without curiosity, life will be boring and lifeless.

Creativity is one of the most important tools in your mental tool box. From creativity come new skills, talents, and abilities you never thought you had. It increases mental, emotional, and spiritual bonding. More important, creativity brings joy and stamina into your life.

How do you inspire creativity in your life? What are the tools that give you creative energy? Let us know your creative process.

Lil Nas X dropped his latest music video for “Montero (Call Me by Your Name)” Thursday night and phew, is there a lot to talk about. The rapper strums his guitar in a reimagined Garden of Eden with voiceovers to tell fans he’s not hiding anymore, himself or his sexuality. At one point, Lil Nas X’s video features him in multiple makeup  looks, while two denim-clad Lil Nas Xs drag a pink fur-wearing Lil Nas X to get chained up.

“Montero” is unapologetically queer, from the lyrics to the sweet note Lil Nas X wrote to his younger self, which he posted on Instagram. He doesn’t hold back with wardrobe, either. Makeup artist and KVD Beauty Global Veritas Artistry Ambassador Anthony Nguyen was responsible for the makeup. Two looks stand out: pink and blue makeup.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

YouTube.

For both looks, Nguyen used the TikTok viral Good Apple Skin-Perfecting Foundation Balm ($38 at Ulta). For the blue look, he mixed Super Pomade Vegan Eyeliner, Shadow & Brow Pigment ($20 at Ulta) shades White Out and Satellite to match the denim. He used the shade Graphite for Lil Nas X’s brows.

Source: Instagram

Dying over the pink eyeshadow? Us, too. Nguyen used Dazzle Vegan Eyeshadow Stick in Force Field ($22 at Ulta).

Source: Instagram

Of course, these aren’t the only swoon-worthy looks in the video. Wait until you see the red braids he rocks while on the stripper pole and giving Satan a lap dance. (Yes. It’s everything.)

Lil Nas X is a national treasure. When was the last time we got a video this artistic filled with symbolism, while the artist is also serving makeup looks and has a powerful message? Beyoncé is one of the only other artists to truly do the same. It’s worth watching the entire video, above.

As an online dating coach, I get the same questions constantly, and rightfully so! Here is the usual rundown:

• Which dating site/app if best for me?
• Are there any good men out there?
• Why would a successful, sincere man need online dating?
• Are they all looking for hookups?

As an online dating expert for over 20+ years, I could tell some incredible stories, both great and not so great. But what I know to be true – and this isn’t all unicorns and rainbows – is that 99% of the success with your goals of online dating is going to be due to two factors: your attitude and your strategy.

Attitude

If you are diving into the world of online dating with a smile on your face, a sense of humor, and low expectations, this can be a winning recipe! Why low expectations? Isn’t that negative? NO, it’s not.

High expectations will just bury you in the online dating world and disappoint daily. You need an adventurous spirit – even if your goal is an LTR or marriage. With any first date, your only goal is answering this question: “Would I like to see this person again?” That’s it.

Your Strategy

Exactly, how am I going to go about this new adventure? Will I discuss this with family and friends? (I hope not, unless they got married through online dating!)

Will I join every site/app and just throw it at the wall and see if it sticks? Hmmm, might be overwhelming and turn into a full-time job. Should I hire a dating coach? This may be a good idea but do talk to them first to see how they strategize and your comfort level chatting with them.

Which Dating Site/App Is Best for Me?

This will depend on many factors: your age, geographics, and goals. The site I recommend for a 62-year-old female client in New Jersey will generally be quite different than the dating app I may suggest to a 50-year-old male client in San Diego.

Dating sites can be exceedingly popular in one part of the country – and nearly devoid of members in another!

Case in point: Bumble has been the new buzzy dating app, and while I have 6 clients seriously dating someone they met on the app, I also have 4 clients in whose geo area Bumble just does not have critical mass (yet). Basically, they ran out of potential dates after 2 swipes!

Are There Any Good Men Out There? All the Good Men Must Be Taken…

I laugh at this one, and it tends to be women who ask this question slightly more than men. When I look at the singles in their 40s – 60s, most of them became single due to divorce, widowhood, etc. and tended over the years of marriage to socialize with married couples.

So, we do tend to get stuck in our small circle of friends and not be able to see the bigger picture. Online dating can be extremely encouraging (if you are on the right dating sites/apps) when you get to see the vast quantity and quality of singles out there in cyberspace!

So, Why Does a Successful Single Need Online Dating?

One particularly good reason is, online provides the best odds that you are going to meet someone for a long-term relationship.

You are out of college, finished graduate school, perhaps don’t want to date in your workplace – we just eliminated the largest numbers of people you come in contact with on a daily basis. Successful singles aren’t spending their time in bars either!

Are They Looking for Hookups, to Scam You, Sex?

Some, perhaps, but not the vast majority. The clients I work with are looking for quality partners. They are paying for both my service and online services. When they need something done for their personal life, they seek help. A good housekeeper. A motivating personal trainer. Instacart to shop. A yoga instructor. A dog walker. And the list goes on and on!

I feel very strongly when it comes to getting the best results with online dating. A great attitude is needed (that’s your part) and a strong strategy (of an experienced dating expert).

So, what is the downside to speaking with an online dating expert, having them write your online dating profile, recommend the right dating sites for you, vet your photos for the biggest pop online and provide ongoing coaching and feedback to you as you begin this exciting adventure? What could you potentially lose? Your single life!

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What is your attitude when it comes to online dating? Have you created a strategy to get you the results you seek? What does this strategy include? Please share with the community!

We don’t know the answer to how many years we have left, but have you asked yourself how many healthy years you have left?

In 2018 it was estimated that a woman or man born in the EU that year would have around 64 healthy life years ahead of them – approximately 76% of their total life for women and 81% for men.

This is a stark calculation – in other words people born in 2018 in the EU are likely to spend a fifth or more of their life unhealthy.

Healthy life years are also known as disability-free life expectancy. A healthy life is defined as one without limitation in functioning and without disability.

Many of us want to live long lives, but we also want to live independent, active, happy lives. We don’t want to live with disability or with limitations. Many of us want to travel, hike long distances, get on and off the floor easily, garden for hours without tiring, feel energetic all day long and live a life filled with meaning rather than limitations.

We want to have a sharp brain, be able to remember things, maintain our weight and look (at the very least) presentable. Nobody wants to be constrained by arthritis or by type 2 diabetes or by dementia.

We want our years to be healthy.

So How Do We Do It?

I’ve recently been interviewing experts about healthy, happy ageing. These included people from a wide range of specialties (community doctors, psychologists, personal trainers, coaches). I’ve also interviewed ordinary people with a “can-do” attitude to ageing.

Their fundamental recommendations are the same. Let me distil for you what some of these are:

It’s Never Too Late to Start

Of course, it’s best if you start getting fit and healthy when you are young, but many of us are too busy having a good time or furthering our careers to do that. But it really is never too late to start.

One of the people I spoke to was Mary Anne. Mary Anne is a caregiver for her husband, who is quadriplegic with multiple sclerosis. She found that she was tired all the time, so at age 68 she decided to join a gym and start with a 30-minute workout.

Within two weeks, she started to have a lot more energy. Over time, she found that her rotator cuff pain and her arthritis were alarming her less and less. Now Mary Anne does stair climbing challenges, exercises most days, and has started jogging. When she was 70 years old, she climbed 70 floors of a Dallas skyscraper as part of a charity challenge.

Genes Aren’t Everything

Many people feel that particular illnesses run in their families, but experts repeatedly told me that genes prime the gun, but your lifestyle and environment fire the gun.

Rajashree knew that she was prone to developing type 2 diabetes, because she was from India. When her doctor confirmed that her blood tests showed she was diabetic and had high cholesterol, she decided to try to change her diet.

After a year, all her blood tests were normal, and she was no longer even pre-diabetic. She could so easily have decided that she couldn’t do anything about it – type 2 diabetes was her destiny.

When Kate was 40, she was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. She knew what a painful condition this was because her mother had been crippled by it. Doctors prescribed lots of medication to manage the pain.

Over time, Kate started to notice that some foods made her symptoms worse, and so she started to change her diet. Now, in her late 50s, she has no symptoms, takes no medication, and runs 10 km regularly. She too could have just thought: “Oh well, like mother, like daughter.”

You Can Change Your Story

It’s easy to believe we are on a particular track living out a particular story, but your life can change dramatically if you want it too. What’s your life story? Are you someone who always fails or will always be an outsider? Are you someone who’s a people pleaser or whose life is a-shambles?

It doesn’t have to be like that. You can write yourself a new script for your life – if you want to. You may need help, but it is possible.

Dr Robert Kornfeld had a difficult upbringing and ended up a drug addict at 15. He turned his life around, through his own perseverance and commitment to self-improvement. Now he helps others overcome the negative programming from their parents and create a new life story for themselves.

Glynis has started a new business. She’s 67, and she wants to seize the opportunity to develop something new that will benefit her community. Annette and Graham moved to a new country in their late 50s to start a new business.

You can, if you wish, live the last fifth or quarter of your life in disability – or you can, if you work at it, live your life with minimum disability, discomfort, or pain.

You may be indignant at the very idea that this is your choice, but the experts and ordinary people I speak to make it totally clear that we absolutely have a part to play in how healthy our final years are. So, let’s celebrate that – we are in so many ways masters of our own destinies.

Don’t give up, don’t accept “the inevitable.” Take charge of your life and move forward.

Do you have ‘bad’ genes? What do they say about your health after 60? Have you decided to counter their prognosis? How? Please share with the community and let’s boost up our health!

Are you sick and tired of hopping on and off the diet hamster wheel, but you want to be a comfortable, healthy weight? If you are serious about losing weight, the only way to get permanent results is by changing your eating habits.

The key is to ditch the eating habits that cause you to gain weight and establish new healthier ones.

But How Do You Kick a Bad Habit and Create a New One So That It Really Sticks?

First, let’s start with what a habit is. Habits are when your actions are driven by routines that you don’t think about, or don’t have to think much to do them. You probably have a habit to brush and floss your teeth before you go to bed. How you brush is also probably a habit. You just do it.

The reason you don’t forget to brush your teeth is because your brain knows that you do it before you go to bed every night, and subconsciously reminds you. That’s the essence of a habit.

Almost everyone who wants to weigh less has a number of habits surrounding how they eat that result in overeating and gaining weight. That’s precisely why it’s important to establish good habits surrounding how you eat. So that you automatically make smart choices instead of overeating choices.

Habits and the Brain

To understand habits, it’s important to appreciate how your brain works. Your brain is made up of many different parts, but for the sake of simplicity, it can be divided into three general areas:

#1 Lizard Brain

There’s what I’ll call your lizard brain, which ignites your fight or flight response in certain situations to keep you safe. It also operates certain crucial body functions, like your heartbeat and breathing. You don’t even have to think about it. Your brain knows what to do.

#2 Thinking Brain

Your intentional, thought-out actions are managed by your neo-cortex, which I’ll call your thinking brain. It’s responsible for things like language, consciousness, imagination, and critical thinking. It can do things that the brains of other animals can’t.

#3 Beastie Brain

The third part of the brain I’ll call your “beastie brain,” with credit to Martha Beck for that name. Your beastie brain deals with emotions and habits, among other things.

What Do These Three Do for You?

The reality is that, aside from your fight or flight response that used to keep your prehistoric ancestors safe from being eaten by lions and bears, the only part of your brain that cares about your well-being is your thinking brain.

Your beastie brain is happy continuing to do what it knows. That often means that it helps you to continue doing your bad habits. You see, your brain uses a ton of energy, about one quarter of your total calories in a day. Therefore, by repeating your old habits, your brain doesn’t have to work as hard. This conserves energy.

Think of your habits like paths in the woods. Trails are formed when people or animals walk on them over and over again, and plants get killed by feet. Eventually, there’s a well-worn path. If you go for a walk in the woods, you’ll likely choose to follow the easy, well-worn path instead of crashing your way through shrubs and brambles to get to your destination.

When you go for that walk, and the trail is easy and beautiful, you enjoy it. The reward circuit part of your brain releases dopamine, your feel-good hormone. Because you associate feeling good with walking the easy path, you may want to walk on this trail again.

If, on the other hand, you decided to smash your way through an uncharted path, got all scraped up on shrubs, and maybe got lost, it wouldn’t be so much fun. Hence your body doesn’t produce dopamine, and you won’t want to do it again.

Whenever we do anything that we feel is rewarding, like having sex, creating something we’re proud of, or even eating, dopamine is produced. It can be activated when you do healthy things like feeling great after yoga class or going to the gym.

This Is Where Emotional Eating Comes In

Knowing this, you can understand why it is so hard to stop emotional eating and overeating. If you’ve been in the habit of feeding yourself to feel better, that’s what your beastie brain knows and will move you to do this practically automatically.

Adding to the problem is the fact that when you eat for emotional reasons, you don’t immediately feel the consequences of your habit. It takes time to notice the consequence of continuing to gain weight while you’re enjoying those cookies.

You’re going for the big dopamine hit and not thinking about how you will feel when you can’t fit into your summer clothes or how much more tired you may feel, or how your joints might ache carrying around extra weight.

Humans are inclined to choose the immediate gratification over their more important long-range goals.

The rewards for your new eating habits, things like feeling light, losing weight, and liking how you look when you’re trimmer, are also delayed. It takes time for the weight to come off. This adds to the challenge of changing your eating habit.

But do not despair! You CAN break any habit and replace it with a healthier, more desirable one. Keep reading to learn some strategies that will help you.

How to Create Healthy Eating Habits

How can you get that nice dopamine hit from doing the right thing, without having to wait to see the number on the scale go down or for those jeans to fit again?

Here are some things you can do to establish and stick with positive new habits. I’ll explain it using the example of wanting to break the habit of eating for emotional reasons when you aren’t hungry.

Be Aware of Your Triggers

An important first step is simply noticing what prompts you to do the bad habit. Is it stress? Do you start chowing down food when preparing dinner after a long day of work when you’d rather be relaxing? Maybe you sit down to watch TV with your partner after dinner, and routinely bring a bag of snack food with you.

Once you know whenyou’re most likely to do the undesirable habit, you can be alert for that. You can also eliminate triggers whenever possible. You can decide to just focus on one time of day at first, if that works better for you. Like if you snack in front of the TV, stop watching TV in the evening for a few weeks, or watch it in a different room that you don’t associate with eating, if that is an option.

Make a Plan for How You’re Going to Remember to Do Your Habit

Most of the time when you have trouble establishing a habit, it isn’t because you’re lazy or unmotivated. It’s because you don’t have a plan that makes it easier to implement your new habit. Attach your new habit to something you already do.

Give yourself reminders, like putting a note by where you eat to journal what you’re eating, or to take a few deep breaths before you start to eat, or whatever habit you’re trying to establish. Remembering is often a problem with getting started, and you’re going against your brain’s autopilot on the old habit, so a reminder is super helpful.

Reward Yourself for Positive Steps Towards Your New Habit

This part is key. Remember, your old habit has the advantage of generating feel-good hormones. Even though overeating is bad for you, the beastie and lizard parts of your brain don’t care. They make you feel good when you do it.

So you have to use your thinking brain to help you feel good when you make a good choice to do your new habit. You can do this the way BJ Fogg, a Stanford psychologist who is an expert on habits recommends: celebrate your success!

Immediately give yourself a fist pump or do something else that will make you feel good about your choice. Tell yourself, “I did it! I only ate one cookie!!” and take some pride in it.

Or you can do what psychologist Kelly McGonigal recommends: consider your new habit an expression of love for yourself and come up with a personal phrase of love or compassion that expresses this. Every time you choose to do the new habit, you’re demonstrating a commitment to your happiness and well-being.

Let it be the fuel for your action. Say your phrase of love or compassion when you do the habit. It can be something like, “I deserve to be healthy” or “I’m doing a great job,” or “I feel so good when I don’t overeat.”

Either of these approaches will generate those feel-good hormones so you and your brain begin to associate doing the new habit with feeling good. That makes it more likely that you’ll do it again and again.

Remind Yourself of Your “Why” Every Day

This is another good way of using your thinking brain to help you establish the new habit. In episode 20 of the Weight Loss for Foodies podcast I talk about the importance of knowing WHY you want to lose weight, and that should be connected to something that generates a positive emotion, like wanting to be around to see your grandchildren, being able to continue having an active life, or reducing your heart palpitations.

Really think about why you are pursuing this goal, write it down, and remind yourself at least once a day. You can even incorporate your why into that positive phrase I mentioned earlier. Really think about how your life would improve by changing your eating habits.

Imagine how great it will feel to not be stuffed after every meal, or to not have to squeeze into seats on the train or whatever is it you’d like to feel.

Believe That It Is Possible for You to Change Your Habit

This last part is critical for your success. Every time you celebrate a small win, that’s evidence that you can do this. If you believe that you’ll fail because you’ve been unable to change these habits in the past, you will prove yourself right. We can’t accomplish anything if we doubt our ability to do it. Remind yourself that you can make these changes.

Remember, changing your habits requires patience and persistence, but it’s the only way to lose weight and keep it off. Chart your progress by celebrating each time you make a good choice, rather than with the scale, and you’ll propel yourself towards your goals.

Ignore what you’ve read about it taking 3 weeks to break a habit. I’ve read contrary evidence, and my belief, from personal experience, is that it is all about repetition, and how much repetition is needed for your new trail to become your well-worn path.

Everyone is different, and every habit is different in the amount of time it takes to change. Once you’ve created that new well-worn path, sticking to it will be much, much easier. Just like remembering to brush your teeth.

If emotional eating is a habit you struggle with, check out my free video masterclass, Kick the Emotional Eating Habit for Good.

Is emotional eating the reason you don’t eat healthy? How often do you catch yourself feeling good when acting on bad habits? Have you tried creating healthy habits instead? What helped you to be successful? Please share with the community!