A lucid dream is one in which the dreamer is aware of dreaming. Humans have been conscious of this phenomenon since time immemorial.

Lucid Dreaming in History

In Hinduism, this ancient practice is called Yoga Nidra, and it was practised by early Buddhists.

The early Greeks wrote about it. Aristotle (384–322 BCE) says that often when asleep and dreaming he would realise that he was not awake. The Greek physician Galen of Pergamon (129–216 CE) used it as therapy.

Samuel Pepys, in his diary entry for August 15, 1665, says, “I had my Lady Castlemayne in my arms and was admitted to use all the dalliance I desired with her, and then dreamt that this could not be awake, but that it was only a dream.”

In 1913, Frederik van Eeden, a Dutch psychiatrist, published an article titled “Study of Dreams,” in which he coined the term “lucid dream.” Celia Green, an English philosopher and psychologist, conducted scientific research into the concept. In 1968, she published Lucid Dreams, further developing the field of study.

In the early 1980s, the American psychophysiologist Stephen LaBerge was doing research into lucid dreaming and popularised the phenomenon among the general public.

Experiencing a Lucid Dream

That included me. I had bought a book on the subject, and decided to give it a try. Following the instructions in the book, I made the suggestion to my subconscious that I have a lucid dream, and I fell asleep convinced that it would happen. It did, and it felt very strange.

My situation at that time was not a totally happy one. I was living in a small mining community in the Canadian north. The economic recession of 1982 affected the mining industry badly, and the mine would be closed in early 1984.

The future seemed rather bleak, because the mining world was collapsing as the price of minerals fell. This was the background to my experimenting with lucid dreaming.

I dreamed that I was in a dark and dreary house that was in need of renovation. In my dream, which was in black and white at that stage, I knew I was dreaming. It felt horrible. I began to make improvements inside the house, and as I did so, my dream changed into vivid colours.

I woke up knowing what I needed to do. The house was representative of my life. I had to change my own attitude, knowing that I would be able to do what was necessary, and that the future would be brighter than it appeared at that time.

My subconscious mind was giving me a strong message. This is what lucid dreaming can give us. It’s not frightening or scary. It’s a natural process we can use. It can be highly beneficial, as it was in my case.

Using Lucid Dreams to Change Real Circumstances

The dreamer is able to exert some degree of control over the dream, and their control will become stronger with practice. The object can be to change dreams from losing to winning. I was losing out in my life, a fact depicted by the house’s initial appearance. I began to win as I changed its state into one full of colour and improvement.

Nowadays, lucid dreaming is used in cognitive behavioural therapy. Therapists recognise that there are many benefits to lucid dreaming, including:

• Stress can be lessened when the dreamer experiences controlling a stressful situation.
• Lucid dreaming has been used to lessen post-traumatic stress among military veterans.
• It can also be used to improve motor skills after injury.

Nightmares can be controlled if the dreamer recognises that what they are experiencing is only a dream. The positive outcome of the dream can transfer into reality.

Athletes can improve their performance by rehearsing in their dreams. Many creative people can use lucid dreaming to help solve a creative problem, or even create an original piece, by accessing their subconscious minds and calling on knowledge they didn’t know they had.

If you’d like to learn more about the subject, an excellent book is Are You Dreaming? Exploring Lucid Dreams, by Daniel Love (2013).

Worth a Try

When you go to bed, you can use your rational mind to tell your subconscious mind that you want to have a lucid dream. Don’t let this interfere with your sleep, but let it happen naturally if it will.

Not everyone is predisposed to have lucid dreams. If you aren’t, don’t let it worry you. Even without dreaming, at bedtime you can still program your subconscious mind with strong suggestions and images which will affect your reality. Perhaps you might like to try it!

If you’re looking to find a book on practicing mindfulness in a group, I am writing one. Sign up for the waitlist here.

Have you experienced lucid dreaming? What was the experience like for you? Do you think you can will yourself to lucid dream?

Covid finally caught up with me – in Sheboygan, WI on a ladies’ trip. Five of us tested positive after returning home. No, we didn’t mask; a mistake in hindsight. But for three weeks, I did nothing but read and binge television.

A Libertarian Walks into a Bear by Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling

Loved this book! Hongoltz-Hetling is a reporter, and he tells this story without taking sides. Being pejorative about any of the protagonists would be so easy. They are all at fault. Who knew all of these fascinating things about New Hampshire? Highly recommended.

About Your Father and Other Celebrities I Have Known by Peggy Rowe

Peggy Rowe is so much fun. Read this book! She was 80 when it was published. You will love her dry wit and joie de vivre.

Nine Lives by Peter Swanson

A new riff on Agatha Christy’s And Then There Were None. I keep being suckered into reading new mysteries, hoping there will be a breakthrough in the formula. There isn’t. This is a quick, fun read that follows the Christy pattern to a T.

The Second Empress by Michell Moran

I listened to this book when I couldn’t get out of bed, but couldn’t sleep either. A good read, told from the points of view of various members of the court of Napoleon and the Hapsburg court.

We’re all familiar with Josephine, first wife of Napoleon. She was divorced because she bore no heirs. Since Napoleon was at the height of his power, he negotiated a marriage with Hapsburg princess Marie-Louise. Chapters are devoted to the point of view of different members of the entourage. Enjoyable and educational.

Ring by André Alexis

André Alexis is a fascinating award-winning Canadian writer. Ring is the last of his Quincunx Series: five books, each one on a different theme: faith, place, love, power, hatred. I’ve read them all.

By far the most outstanding is Fifteen Dogs, a must-read for literature lovers, but not if you are disturbed by dog death. Ring was ok. It’s hard not to love Canadians. As a country, they are far more sensible than the U.S., but rather predictable.

Goodnight Beautiful by Aimee Molloy

Fun, psychological thriller. Quick read but be careful because you cannot be quite sure who the protagonist is. When I finished the book, I reread the first four chapters to unravel my confusion about who was speaking to the reader. Recommended.

The Lying Life of Adults by Elena Ferrante

Ferrante’s rambling first-person narrative eventually gets old in this female coming of age book set in Naples. Lying Life lacks the complex characters of the Neapolitan Quartet. I almost gave up because the end was so predictable, but I labored onward. Save yourself the trouble.

The Carlucci Betrayal by Robert B. Wilkins

Blood and guts in New Orleans during Prohibition. Gangsters try to outsmart each other for money and for love. A good yarn.

Cartographers by Peng Shepard

Interesting dip into the world of those who make maps. Especially printed maps and how a cartographer protects their proprietary interests. A bit paranormal, but at an acceptable level. Recommended.

I’m Not Ready for This by Anna Lind Thomas

Second book by this rising young comedy writer. Good, easy read. Perhaps not as engaging as her first book, We’ll Laugh About This Someday. Got the feeling she had to rush this one to print.

The Dive from Clausen’s Pier by Ann Packer

A laundry room book: we have a free book exchange. Pickings range from lots of Harlin Coben and romance novels to textbooks from 1960. Occasionally, I strike a great one, like Hidden Valley Road.

This one was not so great because the story was rather boring and predictable. Teenagers fall in love, become engaged in their early 20s. Female begins to have doubts, then her fiancé has an accident and is paralyzed. The rest of his life will be in a wheelchair. They end as friends.

How do you spend your time when you are sick? What movies and books help you recover?

Kyle Richards’ Red Blazer on Instagram

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2022 Instagram Fashion

Kyle Richards looked red hot in her red blazer on Instagram. This was just another one of her fab looks from her RHOBH press tour in the land down under. And all that’s left to really say about it is that a new red blazer would obviously be the perfect mate.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her Alex Perry Blazer

Photo + Info: @kylerichards

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Red Blazer

How can we not be authentic? We are who we are. If, somehow, we are not showing our true selves, isn’t that who we are being? This is exactly who we are, in this place and in this time right now.

Analyzing Authenticity

Previously, I had never understood what it meant to be authentic. Are there inauthentic people on the planet? How do they become inauthentic? Does it just mean they are covering up things or saying what other people want them to say?

It was always a mystery to me that somehow, we are supposed to be on a quest to be authentic. That someone else decided that we must find our true selves by reaching “out there” somewhere, always higher, and further to find our authenticity.

But when I looked closer, I found that people cloak themselves in self-made confusion; they aren’t confused at all but apologize for being so. We aren’t really confused about who we are, yet we seemingly discombobulate ourselves by saying something not true, as if it is truth. Then we launch ourselves into trying to find our authenticity “out there” somewhere.

I’ve come to view being authentic as being brave. When we step into our true creativity, our purpose, our hearts, as boldly and bravely as we possibly can, that’ authentic.

Think Lady Gaga, think Martin Luther King, Jr., think (insert your favorite famous person here). It isn’t that they are more authentic than you or me; it’s that we can see more of who they are, in a brighter, cleaner, shinier, and more brilliant way.

As a society, we apologize for just being, for walking past, for opening doors, not opening doors, going first, not going first, saying hello, not saying hello. “Sorry” is a word that repeats over and over in our daily lives.

In the process, we cover up who we really are, and in time become both inauthentic (quiet even to ourselves) and invisible. We cover up our authenticity with confusion, with “sorry,” with being invisible. Stop this.

Which takes me to the next word.

Being Visible

That’s a kick-a* scary word.

I used to call myself introverted. And I am. Truly. I’d rather curl up with a good book at home than be out at a party, but I can see how I hid behind the word. I have used it as an excuse for not putting myself out there, for not being who I really am in the world.

I’d rather be in my comfortable cloak than speak my truth.

Here’s how it might play out:

When invited to a party I’d ask who else was going so I could decide if I knew people, would have someone who knew me (who understood me, would I be safe there).

When thinking about heading out swing dancing by myself, I’d say I was too shy. I am shy (and introverted). Who does this hurt? Only myself. By being brave and taking myself swing dancing I’m allowing more of myself to shine, first to myself (I WANT TO DANCE) and then to others.

If no one asks me to dance, does that make me a bad person? Perhaps I’ll just ask someone else to dance! (There’s bravery again.) If I don’t get to dance, did that make me ‘right’ for wanting to stay home?

In this situation, do I reconfirm that I’m better off staying home than going out dancing by myself? I could make that argument, but really if I don’t get to dance, I just don’t get to dance. No hidden meanings: I’m not a bad person, no one hates me, I just didn’t get to dance.

How I hide came to light in a very big way for me when someone on social media (which means, I don’t even know them in real life… they could have been a clown or a troll or a non-existent profile from a faraway land) told me to “quiet down, be a good girl, and go home.”

Earning Back My Visibility

To start, I didn’t know this person, but let’s be clear. He didn’t know me, either. Even if he did know me, his words are unacceptable. I wouldn’t talk to my husband, daughter, friend, or grocery bagger like that. I would never speak up in hateful putdown language to a school teacher, barista, or doctor. I just wouldn’t be, well, rude.

When did it become ok to tell others how to think or feel or what to do? When did it become ok for me to listen to this? And when did it become part of me that I could never be rude? (After all, visibility “being” the whole of who I am, shouldn’t it include being rude when appropriate, meaning not without provocation, but with pride to speak up for myself and to be, well, visible?)

I blasted back #idontneedadaddythankyou #responsibleformyfeelingsmyself

That’s how I felt in that moment. A switch came on inside of me, and I no longer was introverted, quiet, or invisible. I stood up and claimed myself, my truth, my rudeness, my fierceness. I claimed all my baggage, my unhealed parts, my brilliance, and my being. Then I let that person and his words go. 

I don’t need to ever engage again with this person. If he or others like him come into my life, I can handle it a variety of ways, including ignoring, blocking or just laughing. I’m prepared, as I’m older, wiser and happily more visible now. And there is no further need to engage because that lesson is done.

We speak our truth. We are authentic. We are visible. We are already authentically visible.

Go Be You.

The biggest, greatest visible you.

Which words have power over you? Why? What do you think authenticity entails? Are you living authentically or do you usually pretend to be someone you’re not? How visible are you willing to be in everyday life?

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I love watching celebrities’ beauty GRWM videos because it provides a rare glimpse into exactly how they achieve such flawless skin. A lot of the A-listers’ ride-or-die products are well out of my price range, but it’s still fun to uncover their beauty secrets. When I watched Khloe Kardashian’s ‘Hot Ones’ interview, I thought this was the last place I’d hear her chat about her skincare must-haves. However, like all of Sean Evans’ star-studded, hot wing-centric conversations, I learned something new and surprising.

Sean asked Khloe for skincare hacks that a beginner like him could try. She replied, “I wear Aquaphor [or] Vaseline around my eyes every night. I think it helps with wrinkles and all that. That’s really inexpensive and easy.”

This isn’t the first time she has vouched for the product. Back in 2016, she shared on her app that she applies Aquaphor on her eyes, so clearly, this is a tried-and-true essential.

You’d expect the upper echelon of Hollywood to use only high-end beauty products, but it turns out this is not always the case. Aquaphor’s Healing Ointment lines the shelves of all your local drugstores and is incredibly affordable, sitting at just $14 for a 14-ounce tube.

The multi-tasking product is capable of restoring your dry, compromised skin to a healthier state. It’s also multifunctional in that you can apply it pretty much anywhere your skin is craving moisture. Lips, face, body, minor cuts, heels, cuticles, hands—hardly anywhere is off limits with this formula.

Khloe has been using the Healing Ointment for years, which is quite a feat considering she’s constantly trying a ton of beauty products. This Aquaphor one has stood the test of time in her skincare cabinet and we predict it’ll do the same for you, too.

RELATED: This Kim Kardashian-Approved Self-Tanner Is 44% Off During Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale 

Photo: Aquaphor.

The Healing Ointment’s formula is short, sweet and no-frills, so it’s ideal for those who prefer simple products. It contains petrolatum, glycerin and panthenol, which all work together to moisturize, nourish and protect the skin. It differs from a lotion or cream in that it’s water-free and forms a protective barrier that lets oxygen flow through and heal areas of concern. The barrier additionally helps retain your skin’s own hydration, which is beneficial for keeping your complexion looking youthful.

Khloe’s green light is a big deal, but it’s also worth noting the product is ranked No.1 in the hand cream and lotion category on Amazon has glowing reviews. With a near-perfect 4.8-star rating and over 54,000 five-star ratings, shoppers echo the celeb’s positive review of the Aquaphor product.

“It soothed a rash and my chapped lips but had the unexpected benefit of diminishing the wrinkles near my mouth and eyes and on my chin,” explained one shopper. “I look a few years younger than before I put this ointment on my face.”

“Aquaphor is my go-to salve for lips [and] skin irritations; even put it on my eye wrinkles before bed. I love this stuff, and this large container will last a long time!” wrote another five-star reviewer.

Finding an anti-aging skincare product for under $14 is typically no easy task. The Aquaphor Healing Ointment, however, is an exception that’ll make your skin smooth and healthy in a snap. Don’t wait any longer to order your tub at Amazon for just $14 right now.