This random train of thought started in January as I was planning a trip to Mexico, specifically Playa de Carmen, for my husband’s 60^th birthday. While doing my research, I found that this little resort town was known for its lively night life, restaurant scene, and shopping experience; all the town’s offerings were right up our alley.

There was, however, one small thing that gave me pause – all the pictures were of the youngest, tightest, most beautiful bodies and faces that I’ve ever seen – 58-year-old yikes!

My Perceived Reality

My internal yikes was a new narrative for me. While I have always been pretty confident that I look good for my age, I knew I didn’t look as good compared with THEIR age. And then we have the gym honed body of my husband, who looks amazing for 60, in both body and unwrinkled face.

While I have very few wrinkles and a fairly slim body type, the menopausal girth is real, particularly around the middle. Had I really booked a trip to the land of youth and beauty? How will the environment affect my enjoyment of the trip? Have any of you had this kind of buyer’s remorse – planned a trip then went into beach-body freak-out mode?

Thinking Up the “Best” Solution

So, what did I do, you might ask? I went into food monitoring and walking daily to get as ready as I could. I also did something I said I would never do – I blonded my beautiful grey hair. To be frank, my hair is really gorgeous with its ombre from black to grey to a clear white that looks salon designed.

Regardless of what I previously saw as beautiful 365 days a year, in under an hour I destroyed that by bleaching and toning to an ash blond. I must tell you, it did look good and suited me, but I didn’t prepare myself for the inevitable – the sun bleached it more and fried it to death! More about that later…

I lost a few pounds; I think my waist reappeared momentarily throughout the trip if I didn’t eat bread and I got fabulous outfits to complete the transformation. I was ready to walk the streets with confidence and a little swagger.

How It Really Went Down

Then we got to our destination and not only was I reminded I looked good for my age, but the images that I was competing against were just that – images that were staged, photoshopped and unrealistic.

Here’s the rub, I knew that before I even looked at the marketing materials. I’m a reasonable, intelligent woman who understands the marketing and branding world.

So, what happened?

The honest answer is that I got scared that my handsome husband would be reminded of what I used to look like, and I would be found wanting. In his defense, he is not that guy, this is my projection of self onto his perspective; unfair and toxic.

Lessons Learned

Let’s wrap up this journey by sharing what I learned.

• I learned that for someone who spouts what a gift it is to age, I let myself down by falling prey to societal ageism.
• I didn’t trust that I was more than good enough.
• But most importantly, my acts of “beautification” could teach my daughter the wrong message, that there was something wrong with getting mature and grey.

She was the first one to ask why I touched my hair color. She has watched me try to recapture my grey by coloring the fried blond to a morbid brown to several color removal processes that now has my hair an unintentional gred (an unnatural grey/red). It’s like a person is trying something new, it kind of works, but it’s not quite right.

A GRED Moment

This is now what I call the times when I doubt myself, I’m having a “gred” moment – but I know it will pass, and I sit still and wait because as a human, as an ageing woman, I’m allowed to have a GRED every now and then.

Share your thoughts with our community – let’s support each other and our moments of GRED! Do you, too, have GRED moments? If so, how do you get yourself out of them? Share a moment when you had “toxic comparison syndrome”. Did you learn anything about yourself through that moment? What do you think these moments say to our daughters, granddaughters, and other women? Do you hesitate in accepting the 60ish year-old self and all of its physical changes? Or are you that woman that accepts it all as a rite of passage, if you will?

I did. And I was wrong. Was my recent bout with dehydration because I wasn’t paying attention to my health, because I’m more vulnerable being a few years older? I don’t know. But I will share my experience for anyone who believes they are not vulnerable.

I would also recommend that readers take a moment to look at an article titled Staying Hydrated in the Summer Months by Julie Ambachew recently published on Sixty and Me. It would have been helpful to me to read it more carefully before my recent travels.

This summer, I made a trip to Hawaii. This was not unusual. With family living there, I tend to visit once a year or so. Generally, people who live in this environment are keenly aware of the dangers of dehydration. Whether heading to an air conditioned office or an outdoor work site, you will see everyone carrying their personal water bottle along with their briefcase or lunch box.

As a visitor, I have always been aware of this danger as well. In fact, most visits to Hawaii have included extensive physical training outdoors and running either a half marathon or a marathon each year. I have never experienced dehydration in any of those past visits.

So, Why This Visit and What Were My Symptoms for Dehydration?

The purpose of this visit was to lend a hand to busy young parents during the summer months. As a result, my time was spent differently. Was I drinking water frequently? Yes, but I was not as cognizant of my water intake as I generally am when I am training or racing on road or trail races.

The other ‘why’ for this visit may be that I am one year older than my last visit. One year should not make a difference, but I’m realizing that I must be more watchful of minute differences in my health in my eight decade than was needed in my 60s. I must keep that reality in mind.

As to the symptoms, I can tick several off Ambachew’s list in her article. 1) I certainly had intestinal issues, which was originally thought to be some sort of virus. 2) I became very tired, unusual for my highly energetic self, and 3) I realized my balance was a bit off.

When my family noticed that I had become pale, they wisely insisted on a visit to the emergency room where the symptoms initially pointed to something like diverticulitis. We were all surprised when test results came back with a diagnosis of dehydration.

What Could I Have Done to Avoid Dehydration?

First and foremost, I should stay more aware of my own health needs, particularly when I am traveling or doing a long-term stay away from home. In my case, I was so wrapped up in enjoying and caring for grandchildren that I overlooked some basic self-care. Even though I thought I was drinking an adequate amount and throwing in some Pedialyte and Gatorade in the mix, it wasn’t enough.

Second, I should have kept in mind that fluid needs may be different based on my location and activities. In my own home, I place on the counter a pitcher of water with a few lemon or cucumber slices. I make sure that pitcher is empty at the end of the day. I didn’t set up a similar system while staying with family.

Earlier on, I should have kept an eye on my weight, my sense of balance and any other changes in well-being that made me go “hmmm, what is going on?”

In closing, I had a wonderful summer stay helping out family during a very busy time for them. But my lack of awareness early on to the signs of dehydration diminished my enjoyment, and the enjoyment of my family, for the last few days of my stay.

Drink up!

How do you monitor your vulnerability to dehydration during warmer weather? Has your awareness of the potential for dehydration increased with age?

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

When I think about Cameron Diaz, she’s always wearing a bright lip. It can be daunting to wear a bold shade, but she never fails to pull it off with ease. Because I’m not one to stray far from my natural lip color, I aspire to be more adventurous like Cameron. But I do think it all depends on the product. Does the lipstick leave your lips dry and crusty or smooth and plump? Can the pigments endure two cups of coffee and a bowl of pasta? Will the inside of my face mask look like an abstract work of art within an hour? These are all important things to consider, and it seems like Diaz found one that hydrates, lasts and doesn’t transfer.

Merit Beauty’s Signature Lip is so lightweight that you’ll forget it’s even on your lips. Leaving a sheer satin finish, the lipstick can be layered to make your pout even more vibrant and eye-catching.

Cameron is a huge fan of the lipstick and its many stunning shade options, which, by the way, just restocked. You can get your hands on any (or all) of the eight gorgeous colors right this second. Here are some recs from the actress herself: “This lipstick and the Westman Atelier highlighter really are the only two makeup products I use,” Cameron recently told The Strategist. “I love a plummy color, so I use berry brown or soft berry day-to-day. Occasionally, I’ll wear the orange-red shade.”

We can’t forget to mention that you get a complimentary limited-edition bag with your order of $75 or more. It’s the perfect tote to take to all your picnics, errands and more. This promo runs while supplies last, so be sure to check out ASAP.

For a celeb-loved lipstick that doesn’t leave your lips feeling like the Sahara desert, reach for any of the beautiful Signature Lips. However, if you’re trying to twin with Cameron, opt for L’Avenue, Fashion or Cabo.

RELATED: The Volumizing Mascara That Shoppers Say Is As Good As Lash Extensions Sold Out 5 Times & Is Finally Back In Stock 

Photo: Merit Beauty.

The ingredients that distinguish Merit Beauty’s lipstick from the rest are plant-derived squalane and sunflower seed oil, which bring lasting moisture and a weightless finish for comfortable, all-day wear. In addition, papain enzymes soothe dry cracks, while stabilized vitamin C minimizes the appearance of fine lines.

Not to mention, the lipstick bullet is made with 30 percent recycled plastic and arrives at your doorstep in eco-friendly shipping packaging. Sustainability is a huge part of Merit Beauty’s brand values and mission, so this makes total sense. So does the fact that its formulas are all clean, vegan, cruelty-free, Leaping Bunny-certified, EU and Clean at Sephora compliant and lacking any hormone or endocrine-disrupting ingredients.

“This lippie is perfect for everyday wear!” raved one reviewer on the brand’s website. “Super comfortable formula that feels soft and not thick. Doesn’t transfer or rub off quickly. Very wearable!”

There are eight striking shades of Signature Lip that you simply cannot go wrong with. Reach for Cabo, a soft red-orange, Tiger, a brick red, or 1990, a deep brown. The brand shows each color on a diverse range of skin tones, making it easy to find your perfect match.

“This lip also stays on for a long time which I love! The texture of this shade is lightweight and creamy, which allows for a seamless application. The shine is minimal and is more of a matte lip with a slight shine to it,” wrote another shopper. 

It’s time to refresh your lipstick collection with Merit Beauty’s Signature Lip. Who knows, like Cameron, you might discover that it’s the only makeup product you need. After all, Merit is all about taking a minimalist approach to beauty, creating only the most essential formulas for your routine.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

When I think about Cameron Diaz, she’s always wearing a bright lip. It can be daunting to wear a bold shade, but she never fails to pull it off with ease. Because I’m not one to stray far from my natural lip color, I aspire to be more adventurous like Cameron. But I do think it all depends on the product. Does the lipstick leave your lips dry and crusty or smooth and plump? Can the pigments endure two cups of coffee and a bowl of pasta? Will the inside of my face mask look like an abstract work of art within an hour? These are all important things to consider, and it seems like Diaz found one that hydrates, lasts and doesn’t transfer.

Merit Beauty’s Signature Lip is so lightweight that you’ll forget it’s even on your lips. Leaving a sheer satin finish, the lipstick can be layered to make your pout even more vibrant and eye-catching.

Cameron is a huge fan of the lipstick and its many stunning shade options, which, by the way, just restocked. You can get your hands on any (or all) of the eight gorgeous colors right this second. Here are some recs from the actress herself: “This lipstick and the Westman Atelier highlighter really are the only two makeup products I use,” Cameron recently told The Strategist. “I love a plummy color, so I use berry brown or soft berry day-to-day. Occasionally, I’ll wear the orange-red shade.”

We can’t forget to mention that you get a complimentary limited-edition bag with your order of $75 or more. It’s the perfect tote to take to all your picnics, errands and more. This promo runs while supplies last, so be sure to check out ASAP.

For a celeb-loved lipstick that doesn’t leave your lips feeling like the Sahara desert, reach for any of the beautiful Signature Lips. However, if you’re trying to twin with Cameron, opt for L’Avenue, Fashion or Cabo.

RELATED: The Volumizing Mascara That Shoppers Say Is As Good As Lash Extensions Sold Out 5 Times & Is Finally Back In Stock 

Photo: Merit Beauty.

The ingredients that distinguish Merit Beauty’s lipstick from the rest are plant-derived squalane and sunflower seed oil, which bring lasting moisture and a weightless finish for comfortable, all-day wear. In addition, papain enzymes soothe dry cracks, while stabilized vitamin C minimizes the appearance of fine lines.

Not to mention, the lipstick bullet is made with 30 percent recycled plastic and arrives at your doorstep in eco-friendly shipping packaging. Sustainability is a huge part of Merit Beauty’s brand values and mission, so this makes total sense. So does the fact that its formulas are all clean, vegan, cruelty-free, Leaping Bunny-certified, EU and Clean at Sephora compliant and lacking any hormone or endocrine-disrupting ingredients.

“This lippie is perfect for everyday wear!” raved one reviewer on the brand’s website. “Super comfortable formula that feels soft and not thick. Doesn’t transfer or rub off quickly. Very wearable!”

There are eight striking shades of Signature Lip that you simply cannot go wrong with. Reach for Cabo, a soft red-orange, Tiger, a brick red, or 1990, a deep brown. The brand shows each color on a diverse range of skin tones, making it easy to find your perfect match.

“This lip also stays on for a long time which I love! The texture of this shade is lightweight and creamy, which allows for a seamless application. The shine is minimal and is more of a matte lip with a slight shine to it,” wrote another shopper. 

It’s time to refresh your lipstick collection with Merit Beauty’s Signature Lip. Who knows, like Cameron, you might discover that it’s the only makeup product you need. After all, Merit is all about taking a minimalist approach to beauty, creating only the most essential formulas for your routine.

After graduating from Bible School, I held a pastoral job in a small, yet powerful church. I loved serving there as one of the pastors, and at times preaching sermons to the larger congregation. My entire life was centered around my home and God.

I prayed, studied the Bible, conducted Bible Studies, and worked tirelessly in various positions of the church that needed help. Most of all, my personal life was God centered. I loved God with all my heart, and just wanted to serve Him and ever evolve to be what God had in mind when creating me.

My husband and I brought our children up in the church, and we had a happy secure home life. My husband used to wipe away tears, sitting in the front row of the church, as I delivered sermons.

A Broken Heart

This changed drastically. I became extremely mad, felt abandoned and far from any type of relationship with God. I told Him I didn’t like Him, didn’t want anything to do with Him or his followers, and turned away from my faith.

What caused this dramatic shift? My husband of 23 years confessed to me he was gay. He hid this from me all our married years. He lied, deceived, and spent money on his out-of-town adventures. All this while I served in the church, prayed, and studied the Bible every day, trusting my husband completely. We would walk hand in hand around our neighborhood. Often my heart swelled with love for him.

I Couldn’t Stop Asking WHY?

The three-letter word, WHY, swirled around in my head. In my intense daily devotions, why didn’t God reveal my husband’s actions? Why did God allow this to be hidden so long?

Why didn’t God, the one who I loved with all my heart, love me enough to somehow communicate to me that my marriage was a lie? Being God, He could have used a variety of means to let me know that things weren’t right.

Turning Away

The pain of my husband’s reveal, combined with absolute betrayal I felt from both him and God, was excruciating. I remember telling God to leave me alone. His promises didn’t work for me. I didn’t care about Him since he obviously didn’t care about me.

Could I Ever Trust Again?

As you read this, you are probably expecting a transforming reversal to these feelings right about now. Maybe you’re thinking I had a lightning bolt moment that explained everything to me. That didn’t happen. I left that church and never pastored again.

For me, the intense betrayal I felt kept me from trusting again for many years. I was left with a gaping void in my life. Newly divorced, watching my kids go through so much confusion, and the emotional pain I endured cannot be written in words.

Friends Couldn’t Help

Is this you? If so, I urge you to talk to someone who has been there and understands. I tried to talk to my Christian friends, but they were astounded and even personally hurt that I didn’t want anything to do with God now.

They had no answers and wanted to distance from me. I sought out wisdom from Pastors who had no answers for me. The confusion, void, and the lifestyle switch left me utterly alone.

The Road Back

My road to spirituality and a relationship again with God has been slow and enlightening. I’ve come to understand that things happen in our lives for lessons to be learned. I’ve slowly found my way back to talking to God and believing in Him again. This was without any help from the religious community.

I had to find my way on my own.

My faith is not the same as it was when I was a pastor. It’s balanced and level-grounded. I got here by going to a new church, showing up every Sunday. I went where no one knew me, and I’d sit alone with a chip on my shoulder.

I’d listen to words in the songs and sermon even though I would comment inside myself how those words were true for everyone but me. I remember praying, “I’m here, now it’s your turn.”

Throughout the years that followed, I’ve had some amazing revelations as I’ve listened to sermons. Forgiveness and understanding sometimes came in waves that transformed the cold part inside me. Sometimes the connection to God came in a tiny trickle. But each time it was profound and brought me back to belief and faith. I am still on this journey. Slow and steady.

You Are Not the Only One

I’ve shared this to reach out to you who have gone through the same pain and may need someone to understand. It’s very lonely without friends and without a spiritual faith or trust in a higher being. I get that.

Let’s start a conversation. If this is you, you can share your story here without fear of rejection. Your path may have led you to a stronger faith and spiritual belief. How did you get there? What words of wisdom do you have for others in this situation? Let me assure you, you are not alone.