Month: February 2024

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Photo: @erindanalichy

Originally posted at: Erin Lichy’s Cat Eye Sunglasses

I remember the morning 13+ years ago when I woke up still in Brazil thanks to lingering jet lag. I had just spent a beautiful Christmas with my son and his wife in Cumbuco, Brazil. Spending a week by a sparkling beach in a simple and minimalist flat with two precious people in my life was simplicity at its heart.

Then I came home to complexity. Still waiting to be unpacked was a stack of boxes that had not been opened from my New York City move. It was 3 am but my passion to continue simplifying my life was fueled by a desire to move on from what seemed like a never-ending lesson in letting go! So, I selected a box labeled #19 (of 39). What I found inside broke my heart.

Heartbreaking Memories Filled with Love

I had not labeled the contents of my moving boxes. So with a cup of tea by my side and a cheerful optimism about what I was about to discover, I opened the box. The first thing I reached in and pulled out, wrapped carefully in pink tissue paper, was a little urn, a pink collar, and a teddy bear. They were memories of my last little dog Chica. It had been 5 years since she died.

So, this is how hard this downsizing process is. First Chica. Well, she was a little ‘blue’ chihuahua. After my divorce, I lived alone in a beautiful little house in Seattle. It was a sweet place with a garden bigger than the house. There was a porch sheltered by a gorgeous cherry tree and a white picket fence.

Looking back, it was a miniature version of what I defined as a perfect idyllic family home (minus the family). Since every home is not complete without the magic of a dog, I began my search. We had owned a blue chihuahua called Sky in the past, and I loved their lovely little faces and warm personality.

Blue/grey chihuahuas are hard to find, so I ‘ordered’ Chica from a breeder somewhere on the East Coast. I did my homework, spoke to the breeder and all seemed to be ok. When my little dog arrived at Seatac in her gigantic shipping carrier, my heart melted. She was a little thing with big ears and the sweetest face. We became immediate soulmates.

Lessons We Learn from Our Pets

Truthfully, I could write a book about Chica and the lessons she taught me. She embodied everything beautiful about life. Chica was pure love, she made people laugh with her big ears that seemed to tip her over at times! At night sometimes she would go to my bookshelf and with her little teeth pull a title from the shelves. Her tiny brain always knew exactly what I needed to read on my healing journey.

She made me feel that I could love and trust again. My deepest friend, Chica, was a little beam of light for a few years that were pretty sad for me.

Dealing with Loss While Downsizing

It turns out Chica was very sick from the minute she was born, and I think we both knew that. As she got sicker, we got closer. So when she died that summer day, I was so overcome with grief I could not breathe. And I know that every single person reading this who has lost a pet knows exactly what I mean. I cried for weeks. My heart was broken.

When you lose someone, especially a pet, just about everything associated with them becomes the last remnant of their existence and treasures to be carried to the end of the earth. So, I kept a huge box of Chica’s things. I held on to her toys, her favorite stuffed monkey that was bigger than her, her bowl and many little coats. Of course, I kept her urn along with her pink collar with little diamante crystals. As I sat on the floor with tears in my eyes, I hugged the tiny teddy bear that she slept with.

Letting Go of Chica’s Things But Not What She Meant to Me

I decided to let Chica’s things go. I decided to bury the urn so that I feel her presence and can sit with her now and again. I thought about taking her ashes to San Juan Island where we used to have a home. She used to play like a crazy thing, dodging the eagles that we were all convinced would sweep down one day and take her away. It ended up closer to home. The washed and well-hugged teddy bear went to the Salvation Army along with all the other boxes of books and clothes.

I kept just the little pink collar with the tiny crystals. That was the only thing I held onto. Chica embodied too much beauty and significance to not keep that in my life. It is on my desk as I type.

Read more about Margaret’s downsizing journey.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you holding on to things that are associated with a pet (or person) you lost? Is it time to let some of their things go? Please share your story.

As we ease out of winter – at last! – I’m dreaming of travel. Maybe you are too? Whether far away or close to home, we can add to the experience by keeping a travel journal. Even if you never read it again, writing while far from home can help us more deeply appreciate those special moments.

Paper or Digital? You Decide!

Over the years, I’ve kept my musings in small spiral bound notebooks and fancy clothbound journals. All of them ended up in the back of my desk drawer. This year, I’ve decided to keep all my travel writing in one place, and maybe even consolidate some of those old jottings into a sturdy classic Moleskine Notebook.

Alternatively, Peter Pauper Press has a nice line available in fine bookstores and online. Some printed journals come with writing prompts, some are designed especially for women, and many have lined or blank pages or both. You can also add stickers or paste in tickets, maps and receipts from favorite shops. Shopping for the perfect journal adds to the joy of anticipating my trip.

Some people like to use digital journals such as Find Penguins or Journo. These can be great when you don’t want to pack a notebook or camera, as you can download your photos from your phone directly into the journal.

A Daily Part of Your Trip

Whatever method you choose, it’s important to write every day. Missing a few days can lead you to forget important details when you finally get around to recording them. The scents of a flower market or the smell of a food court or that cute little child running down a beach evoke emotions you can relive again and again.

Relax and Write

Don’t worry about writing well but do give yourself time to relax and think about your day. Whether over morning coffee, or evening tea, I like to think about these questions:

Where did I go; what did I eat; who did I meet? The answers give me personal insights I might have otherwise missed.

Focus on a Theme

Consider giving your trip a theme. Are you on a learning adventure with a group like Road Scholars? Write in your journal a few notes about what you learned each day, the names of your guides, what resources they offered you, and what surprised you.

Was it a relaxing spa vacation? What did you do each day to relax, and how might you bring a bit of that at home?

Are you tracing your roots? When my husband and I traveled to Poland, all our days touched on the birthplaces, food and customs of our ancestors, and I recorded my delight at the similarities I found with my relatives back home.

List with Bullet Points

Use bullet points. Even if you don’t have a lot to say, or time to write, jot down the names of your hotels, favorite restaurants and cafes and the meal you ordered, the little shops where you bought a great souvenir, and even the ones you don’t recommend.

You don’t have to write a lot about them all, but when you get home, you’ll want to give recommendations – or not – to friends who will follow in your footsteps.

Draw Your Favorite Things

Make a little sketch while you’re in that café or on that park bench. A tree across the way, your coffee cup, a mountain in the distance can be enough. A quick snapshot doesn’t give you quite the same connection in the moment as a pencil sketch. Try it and see if I’m right!

Tuck in Some Souvenirs

Have a place on each page or in a special section of your journal to paste or tuck in tickets, postcards, or parts of brochures you want to save.

Stuck at Home?

If you’re not ready to head out into the big wide world, you can still keep a travel journal of past trips. Take out the photos you’ve printed, posted on social media, or stored on your phone, and use them as prompts for your writing.

Exact dates are not necessary but try to record as much as you can remember from the day that photo was taken. It could inspire you to return there or venture out to somewhere new.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have a favorite journal or notebook you like to use on a trip? A digital app on your phone? What memories do you want to preserve? Where do you like to write? A café, your hotel room, a train? Share with us before you go!

Amanda Batula’s Crossover Jeans / Summer House Fashion Season 8 Episode 1

Summer House is back and so is Amanda Batula’s favorite pair of jeans! ICYMI, she’s worn these crossover waist jeans for a few seasons and they’re re-stocked, back and better than ever. Kind of like the girl wearing them.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

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ID: @AmandaBatula

Originally posted at: Amanda Batula’s Crossover Jeans