Month: July 2024

Becoming more altruistic or “others-focused” during the second half of life is not only a natural course of human behavior, but is remarkably healthy for our mind, body and spirit.

A 2005 study called “Altruism, Happiness and Health: It’s Good to be Good,” concludes “a strong correlation exists between the well-being, happiness, health, and longevity of people who are emotionally and behaviorally compassionate, so long as they are not overwhelmed by helping tasks.”

According to Mental Health America, “research indicates that those who consistently help other people experience less depression, greater calm, fewer pains and better health. They may even live longer.”

The organization points to recent research that shows: “students who performed five acts of kindness a day increased their happiness; providing emotional support to others significantly decreased the harmful health effects of certain kinds of stress among older people; and people who donated money to charity got a boost in a feel-good part of the brain, as revealed in brain imaging research.”

Being more others-focused also helps make folks feel “relatively lucky, connected to others, feel needed and effective, more generous” and see they have a “sense of purpose and meaning.”

The German financial service firm Allianz says meeting the needs of others also helps with pain and blood pressure. Being others-focused is good for us on all fronts of the human experience!

So how do we take the senior spotlight off ourselves and turn the focus onto others on our Golden Years approach? Here are five ways to be more in tune with the needs of those around us – and reap the health benefits attention on others brings!

Volunteer Your Time or Talent with an Organization That Means Something to You Personally

So many organizations and nonprofits in the world need volunteer assistance to be successful, and choosing which ones to support is a matter of personal preference and experience. Websites like Indeed.com, VolunteerMatch.org and even LinkedIn feature databases of opportunities specific to your market and interest.

Try keywords that are meaningful to you and see what pops up. Also, keep an eye on the local news to see which organizations are doing work that appeals to your sense of purpose.

Look in Your Closest Family and Friend Circles and See Where You Can Be a Resource, Help or Asset

The great thing about being more others-focused in the second half is you don’t have to look far to find needs to meet. With a little more awareness and conversation, you can find so many folks in your inner circles who need something only you can offer. Ask, listen and make a plan. Just do it!

Be Open to Forming New Relationships, and with Intentional Presence, Show an Interest, Ask Questions and See Where Your Unique Strengths Can Meet a Need

And just outside your friend and family circles are strangers and one-day acquaintances who are doing life in your community and could use some support or assistance. Look out for these opportunities and be diligent when getting to know people. You never know when that conversation with a new friend will yield a chance to be a blessing to someone else. Those moments are always lurking, keep an eye out for them!

Make Your Life Mantra to “Be Used” or “Be Mindful of the Needs of Others”

To get your heart and brain in line with an others-focused approach to life, get up each morning and recite one of these mantras. It will open your spirit to your purpose for the day.

Mentor People Younger Than You

Study after study shows how important it is for adults in their second half to share wisdom, experience and life lessons with young people. Intergenerational mentoring is a natural, most beautiful activity that serves both the older and younger adults.

A May 2020 article in Positive Maturity says:

“Anyone can be a mentor, but seniors are particularly suited to make unique contributions. They have plenty of wisdom and experience to share, but they are often undervalued and underutilized. Seniors are living longer, healthier than ever before and growing in number, making them the perfect candidates for filling mentorship roles within their own communities. Better yet, it works! The attention, guidance and support of seniors has been proven to help at-risk kids become more aware, self-confident and capable people. But the children aren’t the only beneficiaries. Older adults can derive fulfillment as well as a sense of value and purpose, often lacking in their lives. These relationships can also help with depression and loneliness and improve the overall quality of life for seniors. The National Senior Corps’ Foster Grandparent Program unites older Americans with at-risk kids in their local communities to act as mentors, tutors and caregivers. Currently, more than 30,000 foster grandparents serve as mentors for almost 300,000 kids.”

Donate to Missions or Organizations That Are Important to You and the People You Love

There is no shortage of organizations, groups and individuals who would benefit greatly from a financial donation. If you already are giving to groups that are meaningful to you, consider giving to “in lieu of flowers” organizations mentioned in loved ones’ obituaries or support causes related to grandchildren, friends and other family members. Even the smallest contribution tells people you see them, you know what’s important to them and you are there for them.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Study after study shows focusing on the needs of others improves our health and quality of life. How are you looking out for these opportunities during your second half experience? What advice do you have for others looking to be a resource and support?

How many lipsticks have you purchased that are now in the reject pile, and how many in the everyday use pile? If you’re like most of us, the ratio is probably 2 favorites to 10 mishaps, with lots of regret tossed in there. Finding the right lip color can feel arduous and time consuming, not to mention expensive.

Having said that, by having a few tricks up your sleeve you can boast not only beautiful lips, but a smashing lipstick! Here are my 6 tips for luscious lips.

#1: Moisturize

I really hate adding more products to my shelf. I’m a nerd with a long history of over-obsessing in skin care and makeup, so if you saw how much (expletive!) stuff I have, you’d probably spit up. Maybe it’s the rush of something new, but I am a professional dabbler so that’s my excuse.

In any case, hydrating my lips means I have the usual chapsticks, lip balms, glosses, and CBD infused something-or-another. Keeping lips hydrated involves many factors like weather, water intake, medications, and chemicals in the air. Your lips have thinner skin than your face and contain no oil glands, so the possibility they will be dry is pretty good.

The number one solution for dry lips is inner hydration and nutrition. I won’t run off on my usual tangent about how we all need to eat more vegetables and drink fresh water; just do it, it helps. Second to that is topical hydration like a balm. My current favorite is Happy Buddha Hemp Botanical Healing Salve. It works for elbows, knees, eczema, lips, etc. It’s nontoxic and made from a private brand in Colorado. Love them.

#2 Exfoliate

Exfoliating lips is so easy you will throw down your banana. Grab something that is exfoliating like sugar, body scrub, cinnamon, or petroleum jelly, apply to lips, and then using your toothbrush, scrub your lips like you mean it. This will help remove dry, chapped skin and any build-up that has occurred. Your lipstick will go on easier, and your lips will feel more hydrated and plump. Yup.

#3 Lip Plumper

I once created paid content for a lip plumping brand. The stuff really worked, but I’m sure it was so toxic I probably grew an extra lip just by using it. Having said that, not all lip plumpers are bad, and some work to an excellent degree.

If you aren’t into them, I totally get it. If you are, my current favorite nontoxic lip plumper is Jane Iredale Hyaluronic Hydropure Lip Gloss. It comes in lots of pretty shades and stays on well for a gloss.

#4 Line Outside the Natural Lip Line

This tip is tricky, and can be taken to an unhealthy extreme. You’ve seen her, the lady at the bar with her lips so overdrawn she looks wackadoodle. That doesn’t have to be you. The secret is to use a neutral liner that’s only about 1-2 shades darker than your lips, and draw only slightly outside your lip line.

I like to apply lipstick first, and then add the liner – it makes it easier to get it right. In the video below, you can see what a huge difference a beautiful berry lipstick made on the model’s face, and also my lip liner strategy in action.

#5 Line and Fill with Lip Liner

Filling in your lips with liner can be really helpful to make lipstick last longer and give you more definition. This can be messed up by using too dark a liner, though. Word to the wise: use a liner about the same color as your natural lip shade when you pinch or bite your lips. Then toss a gloss or lip color on top and viola, mega lips.

#6 Chose Berry, Apricot, Peach, or Rose

One time I made up Christiane Amanpour at CNN. I admired her courage reporting from war zones, but she always wore a lipstick color that looked like mud. When I made her up, I asked if she would be comfortable trying a plum lipstick and, to my delight, she agreed. Everyone praised her new look, but she removed it as soon as the interview was over. Old habits die hard. Can you relate?

Typically, browns are not for mature ladies – sorry. Instead, try a neutral rose or burgundy berry like what I used in the video on Lois, or go for a warm apricot or peach if it suits your skin color. You want something that is flattering for your skin, clothing, individual taste, and state of mind.

What do I mean by state of mind? When Lois walked in for her makeover, she wore the stunning burgundy top you see in the video. She was ready to be fabulous! We curled her hair, tossed on a stunning lipstick, and told fun stories about Ecuador, where we live. There is nothing like makeup to perk up your mood!

Experts are Dumb

Yes, I am a so-called expert, and yes, you know yourself better than I ever could. Take what works for you – and toss the rest. If you are into lipsticks and love to play, there is a lot to work with here. If not, then grab the lip balm and finish the banana. Life is worthy of a little chill time.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you wear lipstick? What about lip balm or gloss? How do you care about your lips? Do you make it a point to hydrate during the day?