Month: August 2024

You’ve just walked through the door after a long day at work or going to appointments, only to be greeted by a messy house – dishes are piled up in the sink, and the living room looks like a tornado hit it. Your husband works from home and is still locked away in his study on yet another Zoom call.

The dog’s restless eyes remind you that he hasn’t been walked. Exhaustion washes over you, and all you want to do is sink into the nearest chair, close your eyes, and shut out the world for a moment.

You know how tempting it is to collapse onto the couch and escape for a while, but deep down, you also understand why pushing through this moment of procrastination is crucial for your mental health.

In this article, “7 Ways to Overcome Procrastination,” you’ll discover seven practical and immediately actionable strategies to help you break free from procrastination. Each approach will help empower you to take control, reduce stress, and make meaningful progress toward your goals.

No 1. Break Tasks into Smaller, Manageable Pieces

Break a large task into smaller, more manageable pieces. As each small task is completed, you gain a sense of progress, which can boost motivation. This simplifies the process, makes work seem more manageable, and builds momentum through a series of small successes, ultimately leading to the completion of the larger task.

No 2. Prioritise Self-Care to Boost Productivity

Procrastination is often fuelled by negative self-talk, which can create a cycle of self-doubt and low motivation. Constantly criticising yourself or questioning your abilities makes it easier to justify putting tasks off. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never get this right,” or “There’s too much to do, I can’t handle it” can paralyse you, making even simple tasks seem insurmountable. This negative mindset drains your energy and hampers productivity, reinforcing the habit of procrastination.

To change this mindset, it’s helpful to keep printed-out reminders of these affirmations in visible places, such as on your fridge, desk, or bathroom mirror. Seeing these positive statements regularly can help internalise them, gradually replacing self-doubt with self-assurance.

No 3. Set Clear, Achievable Goals

Setting clear and achievable goals is essential in overcoming procrastination, and the SMART framework – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound – is one of the most effective methods. When your goals are vague or unrealistic, it’s easy to feel lost or overwhelmed, leading to procrastination. The SMART framework helps you define your objectives clearly and ensures they are attainable, thus reducing the temptation to put things off.

For example, let’s say you want to declutter half the contents of your wardrobe within the next two weeks. Instead of leaving it as a vague intention, you can use the SMART framework to turn it into a concrete, actionable goal: This goal is specific (focused on the wardrobe), measurable (30 items), achievable (considering the time frame) relevant (ties into your broader desire to reduce clutter) and lastly, time-bound (to be completed in two weeks).

By setting a SMART goal like this you make it much easier to start and complete the task without procrastination.

No 4. Find an Accountability Partner

Accountability is a powerful tool for overcoming procrastination. When you involve another person in your goal-setting process, you’re not just committing yourself – you’re also committing to someone else. This added layer of responsibility can be a significant motivator to take action and stay on track.

Involving family members as accountability partners can be particularly effective. Family members often understand your habits, strengths, and weaknesses better than anyone else, making them ideal candidates for this role. You can work together to set individual or shared goals, such as organising the house, improving health habits, or managing time more effectively.

No 5. Create a Reward System

Creating a reward system for individual or family tasks is a strategic way to combat procrastination by leveraging positive reinforcement. Rewards not only make the process of completing tasks more enjoyable but also help build lasting habits of productivity. For families, a shared reward system can strengthen relationships, foster a collaborative spirit, and create a supportive environment where everyone is motivated to contribute and succeed.

No 6. Minimise Distractions

Distractions are one of the biggest obstacles to productivity. Whether it’s your phone, social media, or a noisy environment, these interruptions can derail your focus and encourage procrastination.

Turn off notifications on your devices, and set specific times to check emails or social media. By controlling your environment, you create a space where it’s easier to concentrate and stay on task.

No 7. Practice Mindfulness and Stress Management Techniques

Mindfulness is a powerful tool in reducing anxiety and stress, both of which are common triggers of procrastination. When you’re stressed or anxious, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by tasks, leading to avoidance behaviours. Mindfulness, which involves paying full attention to the present moment without judgment, helps you manage these feelings and focus on your tasks.

An example of some of the more popular and well-regarded apps are HEADSPACE: CALM and SIMPLE HABIT. These apps offer a range of features and techniques that can support your mindfulness journey, helping you overcome procrastination and enhance your overall well-being.                                                                                                                                                                 

Conclusion

Procrastination is a common challenge that can hinder your productivity and progress toward your goals. However, by implementing these 7 ways to overcome procrastination, you can break free from this habit and cultivate a more productive mindset.

Each of these strategies addresses different aspects of procrastination, from the psychological to the practical. By integrating them into your daily routine, you can create a sustainable approach to managing your time, boosting your productivity, and achieving your goals. Overcoming procrastination is not about perfection; it’s about consistently taking small steps toward progress, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and accomplished life.

Let’s Have a Discussion:

How often do you catch yourself putting things off? Has procrastination become a habit? If you have already noticed your procrastination, what techniques have you employed to overcome it?

Patience often seems like a forgotten art. But it’s a timeless quality indispensable for personal growth, emotional well-being and success in various aspects of life. Developing patience is not merely a matter of waiting for something. It’s about mastering self-control, understanding the importance of timing, and learning to savour the journey as much as the destination. As you read through this, think about how patience plays a role in your daily life. How often do you find yourself needing to slow down and take a deep breath?

Why Patience Matters

Patience is often described as the ability to endure waiting or delay without frustration or agitation. It also involves persevering with something despite difficulties, or suffering without complaining. More than just a desirable trait, it is a fundamental component of emotional intelligence and a crucial element in achieving one’s goals and maintaining healthy relationships.

Patience empowers individuals to weather life’s storms and challenges, fostering resilience and fortitude. It enables us to approach problems with a clear mind and a calm heart so we make better decisions and find more effective solutions.

I have a hunch that most of us can think of a time when, by consciously making an effort to be patient, we were rewarded with a better outcome, even if it wasn’t easy to stay patient in the heat of the moment. Practising patience is all about committing to achieving those kinds of outcomes more often.

The Benefits of Patience

Let’s explore some of the benefits that come with developing this vital trait.

Less Overwhelm

Reducing stress and anxiety is one of the most immediate benefits of cultivating patience.

When we are patient, we are less likely to react impulsively to difficult situations. This self-control reduces negative emotions and can positively impact our overall health. Think back to a recent situation where patience helped you stay calm. How did this calm affect your day, or even your health?

Better Relationships

Another significant benefit is improved relationships with other people. Patience is the cornerstone of healthy personal interactions. Whether you’re engaging with family, friends, or colleagues, practising patience allows you to communicate more effectively, resolve conflicts amicably and build trust.

Consider one of the trickier relationships in your life: How might practising patience improve it? Have you ever noticed a difference in your interactions when you approach them with a calm, patient mindset?

Mastering Perseverance

Lastly, success in achieving our goals often requires perseverance and tenacity, both of which are underpinned by patience. Accomplishing major goals takes time and effort, and impatience can make us prematurely abandon them. As Malcolm Gladwell suggests in his book, Outliers, it typically takes around ten thousand hours of practice to achieve mastery in any field. In other words, a lot of hard work sustained by patience.

Strategies for Developing Patience

Now, let’s look at some practical strategies that can help us cultivate our patience.

Mindfulness Meditation

Meditation gives us more control over our minds. And mindfulness teaches us to observe our thoughts and emotions without judgement, allowing us to respond to situations with greater equanimity. In his book, Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn explores the benefits of mindfulness in developing patience. If you haven’t tried mindfulness meditation yet, this volume might just give you the nudge you need.

Delayed Gratification

The famous Stanford marshmallow experiment, conducted by Walter Mischel, scientifically proved the benefits of resisting the urge to indulge in any opportunity for immediate pleasure that might come along. In it, children who could resist eating a marshmallow in return for a later, bigger reward, showed higher achievement and better life outcomes as adults.

As adults, we often face situations where waiting for a better result requires patience, whether it’s saving money for a dream vacation or waiting for the right time to have a thoughtful conversation. Remember the wisdom in Lao Tsu’s saying, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Practising Empathy

Finally, practising empathy can also help you become more patient in your interactions. By putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, you can better appreciate their perspective and be less prone to frustration. Think of times when showing empathy, perhaps with a family member or friend, led to a more peaceful and understanding conversation.

If you’re looking for more ways to develop patience, The Book of Patience: 250 Ways to Become a More Patient You, by Courtney E. Ackerman, is an excellent resource. As is generally the case when it comes to developing a new ability, consulting experts speeds up the process. Just don’t be in such a hurry that you get impatient about being patient!

Conclusion

As we’ve explored, cultivating patience can enhance our emotional well-being, strengthen our relationships, and pave the way towards our goals. It’s a virtue that requires practice and conscious effort, but it brings immeasurable rewards. Developing patience allows us to rise above the challenges and setbacks we encounter in life, ultimately leading us to inner serenity and personal growth.

So, why not take a moment today to reflect on where you can begin to apply these principles? Whether it’s in a personal goal, a relationship, or even in how you treat yourself, small steps towards patience can lead to significant change. Remember, each time you practise patience, you’re not just waiting, you’re growing.

Questions for You:

How would you describe your relationship with patience? Has it changed as you’ve grown older? Reflect on a time when being patient led to a positive outcome in your life. What did you learn from that experience? What strategies do you find most effective in cultivating patience, especially during challenging situations? How have these practices impacted your emotional well-being? I’d love to hear your insights and experiences, so feel free to share them in the comments below!

Every parent hopes their children will have close relationships with one another as they age. It’s comforting to know that as you age, they have each other to count on (and even complain to about you).

They may have:

• Conspired with
• Covered for
• Given advice to
• Even taken advantage of

each other over the years, but whether they’ve stayed close or grown apart, there’s no getting around the fact that relationships between siblings can be among the longest-lasting and most influential they’ll ever experience.

However, as siblings grow older, their relationships can change. As parents, we pray they become closer, sharing their lives and families with each other. But sometimes, things go the other way, and they grow apart as all the distractions of adulthood set in.

The way we relate to people is an evolving process. It continues to change as we age and is influenced by many factors, including life experiences, romantic partners, job choices, life decisions, family dynamics, and individual personalities.

Relationships between siblings aren’t immune to these influences.

This means that even if they were close as children, adult siblings can dislike one another, have painful disagreements, or become estranged. The opposite can be true as well – siblings that weren’t close when younger can become close as adults.

This can leave you as the parent of adult children feeling sad, caught in the middle, and unsure how to help.

So, how does a parent actually parent their adult kids, particularly when they don’t get along?

When They’re Too Old for a Time Out

It’s no secret that as children grow into adults, your role as a parent shifts significantly.

When your kids were little(er), you guided them toward the right decisions and behavior, or provided clear consequences for inappropriate actions. But as adults, you can no longer fix things for them or put them on time out for not listening.

But, while parents are no longer the primary authority figures in their adult children’s lives, they can continue to significantly impact sibling dynamics. This influence can be positive and negative, depending on how parents navigate this new role.

Witnessing conflict or estrangement between your adult children can be heart-wrenching and confusing. The desire to mend these relationships and restore harmony in the family is natural. However, it is important to recognize that adult children are independent individuals with their own lives and perspectives. To respect them you must walk a fine line when it comes to getting involved in their disputes.

Handle things the wrong way, and you can make things worse (sometimes much worse). You risk:

• The appearance of favoritism
• Heightening tension
• Undermining your relationship with them or their relationship with each other
• Being considered meddlesome
• Creating resentment.

Do nothing at all, and it can seem like you:

• Don’t care
• Are aloof or cold
• Unavailable
• Have given up on them

It can feel like a no-win situation. And sometimes it is.

Although there’s no foolproof way to be a parent during the conflict between adult children, there are some dos and don’ts that can help ensure you don’t hinder more than you help.

Dos and Don’t of Parenting Adult Siblings in Conflict

When your adult kids have gone beyond stealing each other’s clothes or the I’m-not-touching-you game, consider these dos and don’ts for managing your role as their parent:

Encourage Communication

Encourage your children to talk openly and honestly about their feelings whenever possible and tell them you will refrain from judging. Let them know you’re there to listen and support them.

Suggest that they talk directly to each other about their issues. If they are open to it, you might offer to help coordinate a conversation, but make sure they lead the discussion. You’re only there to encourage and keep the conversation moving. This can be a difficult boundary to keep, so if you think you can’t do it, don’t offer.

Remain Neutral

No matter what your personal views, do your best to avoid taking sides. This doesn’t mean acting disinterested, but it does mean avoiding any appearance of favoritism or judgment.

The last thing you need is the “Mom thinks I’M right!” argument to be leveraged. So, try to acknowledge each child’s feelings and experiences without making judgments.

Model Good Behavior

By showing effective communication and conflict resolution skills in your own interactions, you set an example for your children.

And if you’re worried that you didn’t do enough of this when they were young, you need to understand that it’s never too late to start. 13 or 30, kids are still watching you and looking at you as a role model.

Bring Them Together

Just because they don’t get along doesn’t mean you should stop bringing the family together. Family events provide opportunities for positive interactions, and shared experiences can help rebuild bonds.

You might even assign them one of their shared childhood duties. Communing over their dislike of shucking corn or washing the windows can help break down barriers.

Respect Boundaries

“Mom, leave it alone,” from your adult child is different than, “Mom, leave me alone!” from your teenage child. You need to recognize and remember that your children are adults, and when they ask you to back off, that’s what you need to do.

Offer Resources

Are things just getting worse, and no one seems to be able to communicate or overcome certain issues? It might be time for professional help.

If conflicts are deeply rooted, family therapy can provide valuable tools for resolving issues.

Take Responsibility If You Played a Role

No parent is perfect. We’ve all made big mistakes, and if you may have played a role in a conflict, acknowledge it and apologize. This can help heal old wounds and set a positive example.

Don’t Take Sides

Favoritism can deepen rifts between siblings. So, do your best to treat each child equally and fairly.

Don’t Compare Your Children to Each Other

Comparisons can fuel resentment and competition.

Don’t Interfere

Avoid getting involved in every disagreement. Your children need to learn to resolve their issues independently.

Don’t Gossip

Your kids need to be able to trust you, so don’t share negative information about one sibling with another. It can create further divisions and mistrust.

Don’t Force Reconciliation

Pushing your children to reconcile before they are ready can backfire. Allow them to take the time they need to work through their issues.

Don’t Try to Control Things

Offering unsolicited advice or trying to control the situation can create further tension. Let them know you see there’s an issue and that you trust them to resolve it. They’ll let you know when they need your help.

Don’t Pretend Everything Is Fine

Ignoring conflicts won’t make them go away and it can make you seem aloof.

Don’t Enable Negative Behaviors

You may be Switzerland, but you can’t be complicit. So, don’t enable behaviors contributing to the conflict, like gossiping or hurtful actions.

Don’t Make Avoidance Acceptable

Avoidance allows problems, distance, and disconnection to grow and tear families apart. So, gently but firmly regularly encourage your children to face and resolve their issues with each other rather than avoiding them.

Parenting doesn’t stop at 18. Or 21. Or 45. You get the picture. But it does change.

One of the hardest things as a parent is seeing your kids grow apart or treat each other poorly. But, while you can provide guidance and support, the decision to mend their relationship ultimately lies with your children.

And don’t forget your own well-being. Dealing with family conflicts can be emotionally taxing. Make sure to prioritize your own emotional health and seek support if needed.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What conflicts have there been between your adult children? Are you trying to find a way to bring your kids back together? What’s worked in your family? Share your stories and experiences and join the conversation.