Month: October 2024

Chavez and his girlfriend are definitely in the honeymoon period.

Do you feel overwhelmed by the countless decisions you face every day? From the moment you crawl out of bed to the moment you put your head on the pillow at night, Psychology Today estimates that you make more than 2,000 decisions each working hour – one every two seconds! And that’s just an average day.

Now, imagine if you’re trying to downsize, declutter, or design your kitchen. No wonder you’re experiencing decision fatigue! In this fast-paced world, where we’re bombarded with endless information and way too many choices, decision fatigue is a real phenomenon that affects all of us. It can take a toll, impacting our emotional and mental well-being.

When faced with too many choices, decision fatigue sets in, manifesting with some common signs:

• Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or hopeless
• Difficulty focusing
• Mentally and physically drained
• Brain fog
• Avoidance and procrastination
• Impulsive or rash decisions
• Irritability, especially with your own indecisiveness

What Triggers Decision Fatigue?

Information Overload

Having access to endless streams of information on the internet, TV, social media, and advertisements can easily lead to decision fatigue.

Too Many Choices

While we all like having options, too many choices can lead to confusion, indecision, and poor decision-making.

Perfectionism

Expecting perfection can lead to overthinking, overanalyzing, and overcomplicating decisions. It slows down the process and adds to anxiety, frustration, and the fear of making the wrong choice.

Top 5 Secrets to Beat Decision Fatigue

Secret #1: Set Clear Goals

Clear goals help you prioritize decisions. Know what you want to accomplish – this will help narrow down your options, allowing you to focus on what matters most.

Example: ABC’s of Downsizing

A simple tool I use to help my design clients make important choices when downsizing their homes involves labeling large items as follows:

• A items: Items you definitely want to keep and bring to your new, smaller home.
• B items: Items you’d like to take if they fit and look good in your new space.
• C items: Items you don’t want, don’t need, or won’t use – these are okay to donate, dispose of, or recycle.

Secret #2: Create Daily Routines and Habits

Creating daily routines and habits for routine decisions helps automate your choices, saving time, conserving mental energy, and limiting the number of decisions you need to make each day.

Example: Capsule Wardrobe

Having a small, versatile wardrobe that can be mixed and matched to create a variety of outfits reduces decision fatigue because you have fewer clothing choices to make daily.

Secret #3: Filter Your Options

Eliminate options that aren’t viable or realistic.

Example: Budget Filter

How much money are you willing or able to spend on something – a vacation, a house, a computer, or a home renovation? A budget filter helps you quickly screen out unrealistic options – things you can’t afford or don’t want to spend too much money on.

Secret #4: Streamline Choices/The Magic of 3

Narrowing down your decisions to several viable options simplifies the process and helps you make the best choice by weighing the pros and cons of each.

Example: The Magic of 3

When presenting to my design clients, I always offer three solid design options. Each is uniquely different but satisfies my clients’ needs and “wish list.” For example, in a kitchen renovation, we might have three different designs:

1. One that keeps the existing wall structure.
2. One that removes an adjoining dining room wall.
3. One that removes both the dining room wall and the family room wall to open up the entire area.

Three different designs, three different budgets, and three different results. The client gets to choose what matters most to them and what works best for their lifestyle. By narrowing it down to three designs, it becomes easier to decide, and it helps move the project forward.

Secret #5: Timing Is Everything

Save important decisions for when you feel most alert – research shows this is usually within 1 to 3 hours after waking up. This also helps reduce the likelihood of procrastination.

If you suffer from decision fatigue, either regularly or just occasionally, applying these 5 simple strategies can help you regain control, reduce or eliminate decision fatigue, and make better choices for a happier, more fulfilling life.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How often do you feel overwhelmed by the decisions you have to make on a daily basis? Which decisions are the most difficult for you to make? Is the difficulty due to the number of choices or something else? What strategies help you make the best decision in each situation?

Kock is rumored to be in a steady relationship.

I was already working on this article over the weekend, when yesterday, I stumbled on a piece of writing published in the Wall Street Journal, titled “October is the Time to Reset Goals” by Ann-Marie Alcantara.

I was amazed by the coincidence and thought, “OMG, I am on the right track!”

Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you with the whole story, though I will share the direct link below, so stay tuned for that.

Instead, I will give you 10 reasons why I agree with the reasoning about resetting goals in October. After 30 years in the matchmaking business, I’ve seen this every October and apparently, so has Ann-Marie of the WSJ.

The Idea Behind October Theory

The idea here? It’s dubbed “October Theory,” and it revolves around people rethinking their approach to the last three months of the year. I find this to be true with my new clients too. They accept October as a time to set goals, pick up new habits (dating) and reflect – essentially taking on the role New Year’s plays.

Remember how we reset ourselves in the Fall – going back to college, high school, etc.? It gave us a feeling of newness; the desire to change some things. Yep, that feeling!

Ready for a Pre-Holiday Reset?

Here we go with my 10 dating tips:

#1: Think Outside Your “Type”

You may always go for the 6’2″ athlete, but love can surprise you. I’ve seen many people fall for someone they swore wasn’t their type.

#2: Don’t Expect Perfection

No one is perfect, or even remotely close, so don’t expect it from yourself either! Embrace imperfections.

#3: Your Date Is Not a Mind Reader

A healthy relationship needs communication, chemistry, and shared values. Did I mention communication?

#4: Trust Your Gut

If something feels off – like a sketchy profile or one suspicious photo – listen to your instincts.

#5: Don’t Get Attached Too Quickly

One date doesn’t mean you’ve met “the one.” Rushing to quit dating others after one great date is a bad idea. I had this happen yesterday with a client – she wants to stop meeting other men even though she’s only had one super date. Nope. I’d give it 4-5 dates before you ditch others.

#6: Dive into Online Dating

Set a goal for four first dates in the first two weeks. It’ll build your confidence, especially if you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while.

#7: Say Yes

Whether it’s a party, a hike with new people, or a date with someone you’re unsure about, take the chance. You never know where it might lead.

#8: Live in the Moment

Stop worrying about date #3 or how it will work with your kids. Focus on enjoying the present moment.

#9: Don’t Overthink If They Stop Texting

If they ghost you, don’t dwell on it. There’s a huge dating pool out there – move on!

#10: Know What You Deserve

Never settle. In my 30 years as a dating coach, I’ve learned one thing: there’s a lid for every pot.

Read the Wall Street Journal article here: “October is the Time to Reset Goals”.

If you’re ready to start dating, but are unsure how to go about it, let me help you. Click here to set up a free 15-minute call with me to see if I can help change your life.  It’s what I love to do.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you heard of October Theory? What goals have you decided to reset this October? How well are you navigating this decision?

In recent years, there has been a noticeable rise in what is known as “gray divorce,” a term used to describe the separation of couples over the age of 60, especially those that have spent more than 20 years married to each other.

This trend is reflected in several interesting statistics, with gray divorce accounting for 25% of all divorces, and 1 in 10 of these divorces involving individuals aged 65 or older. According to the US Census Bureau, around 39% of adults aged 65 to 74 have gone through a divorce, while nearly a fourth of them, aged 74 and older, have also gone through the process of marital dissolution.

Gray divorce often involves couples who have been married for 20 years or more, and it is increasingly driven by factors such as the empty nest syndrome, stagnant relationships, and evolving societal standards.

Notably, when it comes to the trend of gray divorce and who is initiating it, statistics reveal that women are more likely to want these late-life separations, with over 60% of gray divorces being initiated by women. This shift highlights changing attitudes towards marriage and divorce among older adults, reflecting broader societal changes and evolving personal expectations.

Common Causes of Gray Divorce

While every marriage is unique, a divorce lawyer knows that there are a few common reasons why women over 60 choose to divorce in the United States. These shared factors that can contribute to the decision to end a long-term marriage later in life include:

Empty Nest Syndrome

One of the most common reasons for women to seek divorce later in life is empty nest syndrome. When children grow up and leave home, couples sometimes find themselves facing an empty nest and realizing their relationship has grown distant. Without the shared focus on parenting and providing a stable home environment, they may discover they have little in common and choose to separate.

Growing Apart

Over the years, women can change their interests, values, and life goals, as societal standards and opinions change. If couples grow in different directions and fail to reconnect with each other, they may decide that divorce is the best path to pursue their own forms of happiness.

Financial Independence

As financial stability increases over time, particularly for women, there’s a greater ability to leave an unsatisfying marriage without fearing financial instability. Financial independence allows women to consider divorce as a viable option later in life.

Retirement and Lifestyle Changes

Retirement brings significant changes to daily routines and lifestyles for many couples. For some individuals, spending more time together without the distraction of work can magnify existing tensions or create new issues, leading to the choice to divorce.

Health Issues and Longevity

With longer life expectancy, some women reassess their long-term happiness and may decide they don’t want to spend their remaining years in an unfulfilling marriage. The thought of many more years in an unhappy relationship, instead of pursuing their true happiness, can prompt the decision to divorce.

Desire for Personal Growth and New Experiences

Later in life, some people feel a strong urge to explore new opportunities, experiences, or relationships instead of being in a marriage they aren’t fully committed to. This desire for personal growth and fulfillment can lead to the decision to end a long-term marriage and seek new avenues of happiness.

Infidelity

Infidelity can be particularly devastating at any time in a marriage, but when it occurs later in life, it is often a breaking point. For some, betrayal later in life is the final straw that leads to divorce after many years of marriage.

Dissatisfaction with Long-Standing Issues

Unresolved conflicts, communication problems, or emotional neglect can build up over time, especially in marriages that last over 20 years. When these issues persist without resolution or become worse over time, they can weaken the marriage, ultimately leading to divorce.

What Is the Role of a Divorce Lawyer?

A divorce lawyer can be an invaluable ally for women pursuing a fair gray divorce, providing experienced knowledge, guidance, and support throughout the process. With a deep understanding of the unique challenges that come with ending a long-term marriage, such as dividing marital property, a divorce lawyer can help navigate complex issues.

They know how to handle the nuances surrounding the division of assets, spousal support, and retirement benefits. They also offer strategic advice on how to protect financial interests, ensure fair divorce agreements, and address any emotional or family-related concerns.

By working closely with a divorce lawyer, women can confidently pursue a gray divorce and pursue a new life full of happiness, knowing they have an advocate dedicated to securing their future well-being.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is the #1 reason for gray divorces, in your opinion? Have you gone through the experience and what can you share with the community?