Month: March 2025

In the ancient world, an oracle was a sacred source of divine guidance, often delivered by priests or priestesses at temples, and believed to convey the will of the gods through cryptic messages, visions, or signs. For Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, the following message was imparted by the Oracle in Caieta, a place of cultural and religious significance:

“Just as you use yourself.”

A Little About Marcus Aurelius and His Time

This short, obscure phrase found in his private journal, Meditations, expresses the abiding truth that our lives are fashioned less by external forces and more by our internal choices. In other words, our life is not determined by Fate but reflects our inner work and how we use our abilities.

Marcus Aurelius, who reigned from 161 to 180 AD, faced immense instability. The Roman Empire was besieged by barbarian invasions, devastated by the Antonine Plague, and ravaged by internal political strife. Amidst this chaos, he sought inner peace and turned to the Oracle in Caieta for clarity.

As a devoted practitioner of Stoicism, Marcus Aurelius recognized in “Just as you use yourself” the underlying Stoic principle of applying wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance to daily life. This meant controlling one’s reactions, cultivating inner strength, and discerning between what we can affect and what we cannot (and focusing on the former).

Today, we might receive sudden understanding in moments of profound introspection, epiphanies, the counsel of trusted mentors, the symbolic language of our dreams, or the lucidity that arises from periods of solitude, to name a few.

For mor on Stoicism, read Stoicism: A Timeless Philosophy for a Balanced Life

Modern Relevance

“Just as you use yourself” holds powerful lessons for women today, particularly when harmonizing family, personal growth, and self-reliance. It emphasizes that our thoughts, habits, and choices merge in forming our character and in shaping our lives, and that we are not inherently ships without a rudder or leaves in the wind.

Consider the Role of a Mother

Within a family, the mother’s actions and attitudes set a powerful example. A mother who internalizes the message of the Oracle understands that her demeanor, habits, and decisions influence not only her own life but also her children’s.

A single mother facing hardship and heeding the Oracle, for instance, would refrain from fixating on difficulties and choose resilience, patience, and a love of learning. Knowing that when she conducts herself with maturity, kindness, and balance, her exemplary behavior will have beneficial effects on the lives of those around her.

The Grandmother Role

Beyond the immediate family, “Just as you use yourself” extends to those who take on familial roles in later life. A grandmother raising her grandchildren would concentrate on building stability and providing empathy and understanding. Instead of dwelling on what she doesn’t have, she would devote her attention to what she is able to build.

Beyond the Family

The Oracle applies equally to women in later life. A retired teacher, to illustrate, would choose to remain engaged by mentoring young educators in community programs or volunteering at local libraries, rather than resigning herself to passivity. A widow would rediscover her independence and find new purpose through travel, writing, or deepening friendships. By “using” herself wisely, she would reclaim her agency.

A woman in her 60s or 70s may feel that much of her identity was once tied to roles she no longer holds – whether as a mother with grown children, a retired professional, or a widow. However, if she applies the Oracle’s wisdom, she would understand that her life remains shaped by how she chooses to “use” herself. If she “uses” herself well, she will remain vital and engaged, contributing not just to her own well-being but also to others whose lives she touches.

Conclusion

Just as Marcus Aurelius took the words of the Oracle as a guide for his own life, so, too, can women today heed it in finding a pathway to strength, renewal, and meaning.

Let us remember that the power to direct our lives lies within, and that by “using” ourselves wisely, we can navigate both challenge and opportunity.

Let’s Reflect:

Which recent choice affects your life today? Do you carefully analyze your options to make balanced decisions? Are you in a role/position where your choices can affect others around you?

Will their love last?

Will their love last?

Aging used to mean fading into the background. For generations, society has told women over 60 that their best years are behind them, that they should quietly step aside for the younger crowd. But today, mature women are pushing back against that narrative.

We are redefining aging by embracing our confidence, prioritizing our well-being, and showing up in the world with boldness and purpose. The outdated idea of quietly “growing old” no longer applies. Instead, we are growing stronger, louder, and more visible than ever before.

Dismantling Stereotypes

For far too long, aging has been associated with decline, frailty, and limitation. Women over 60 were expected to shrink their lives, not expand them. But today’s mature women are challenging these stereotypes in powerful ways. We are continuing to build careers, start businesses, travel, take up new fitness routines, and reinvent our social lives. Many of us are even finding new love or rediscovering passions that were long put on hold.

In fashion, beauty, and fitness, we are rejecting the notion that we must fade into the background. Women over 60 are gracing magazine covers, leading wellness movements, and proving that style and strength don’t have an expiration date. As the founder of Inner Joy Activewear, I’ve seen firsthand how the right clothing can transform confidence – our bodies change, but our desire to move and feel good never disappears.

Prioritizing Health and Vitality

One of the most powerful ways we’re redefining aging is by taking charge of our health. This is the first generation of women to have access to better healthcare, nutrition, and fitness knowledge than ever before. Instead of accepting aches and pains as inevitable, we’re finding ways to stay strong and active.

Yoga, walking groups, strength training, and even dance classes are becoming staples for women in their 60s and beyond. Many of us are choosing to age with energy and enthusiasm, knowing that movement is the key to longevity and well-being. Staying active isn’t just about avoiding illness – it’s about living fully and enjoying every moment.

Embracing Visibility and Leadership

Perhaps the biggest shift is that women over 60 are refusing to be invisible. We are running businesses, mentoring younger women, traveling, and getting involved in our communities. Some of us are finally stepping into leadership roles after years of being overlooked.

We have wisdom, experience, and resilience that the world needs. We are redefining what it means to be a role model, not just for younger generations but for each other. By living boldly, staying engaged, and supporting one another, we are proving that life after 60 is not just a chapter – it’s an entirely new book.

The narrative is changing because we are changing it. We are aging on our own terms, and the world is taking notice.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is your definition of aging? Are you actively aging? How do you support an active lifestyle? What have you redefined in your life?

Let’s be real: we live in a world that worships noise. Notifications, endless conversations, social media updates, group chats that never die – it’s a whirlwind of constant connection. And yet, have you ever wondered what all this noise is doing to you?

Sometimes, the most life-changing act isn’t adding more to your life – it’s taking it all away. Unplugging. Quieting the noise. Choosing radical self-silence.

What Is Radical Self-Silence?

It’s more than just turning off your phone for an hour. It’s a deliberate, deep, and transformational choice to disconnect from the external chaos so you can reconnect with yourself. It’s the act of stepping away from the relentless buzz of life and immersing yourself in stillness. Self-silence reflects the Taoist wisdom of emptiness – the idea that a cup has the potential to be filled only when it’s empty.

When we quiet our minds and step back from constant noise, we empty ourselves of distraction, fear, and external expectations. In that space of stillness, the cup of our being becomes open and ready to receive clarity, creativity, and inner guidance. It is through this deliberate pause, this returning to emptiness, that we find the fullness of what truly matters.

 And no, self-silence is never about loneliness. It’s about liberation.

Why Radical Self-Silence Is Empowering

We’ve been sold the idea that constant communication equals productivity, relevance, and success. But the truth? Silence is where real magic happens. Here’s why:

You Start Hearing Yourself Again

With so many voices telling you what to do, who to be, and how to feel, your own voice gets drowned out. Radical Self-Silence clears the static. It gives you space to listen to you. Your instincts. Your desires. Your truth.

2. Mental Clarity Like You’ve Never Known

When was the last time you sat in total stillness? Silence clears the brain fog. It’s like decluttering your mind’s inbox, deleting spam, and finally getting a moment to think deeply. Imagine making decisions without second-guessing yourself. That’s what happens when your mind isn’t overloaded.

3. Unlocking Creativity & Problem-Solving

You know that “aha” moment that hits when you’re in the shower? That’s your brain finally getting space to process. Silence is fuel for creativity. It’s where innovative ideas, solutions, and new perspectives are born. No wonder history’s greatest thinkers spent time in solitude.

4. Reclaiming Your Energy

Constant interaction is draining. Whether it’s emails, social media, or small talk, it takes energy. Silence is the reset button your mind and body crave. It refuels you in ways no external stimulation ever can.

How to Practice Radical Self-Silence

This isn’t about becoming a monk overnight. It’s about making conscious shifts to prioritise inner peace. Here’s how to start:

1. Set Digital Boundaries

Turn off notifications. Delete social media apps for a day (or a week!). Set specific times to check messages. Your brain will thank you. And if you’re brave, try a full digital detox weekend.

2. Schedule Silence Like an Appointment

Block out time for silence in your day. Whether it’s 10 minutes in the morning or a full-day retreat, make it non-negotiable. Treat it like the most important meeting of your day – because it is. Silence isn’t wasted time; it’s a sacred investment in your mental and emotional clarity.

3. Go on a Solo Walk (No Headphones!)

Nature plus silence? A game-changer. Let your thoughts flow without distractions. Listen to the sounds around you– the rustle of leaves, the rhythm of your footsteps, your own breathing.

4. Practice the Art of Saying Nothing

Not every silence needs to be filled. Try resisting the urge to respond immediately. Let conversations breathe. Observe more, speak less. Allow moments of silence to exist without discomfort; they are spaces where real understanding and depth can grow.

“The most profound statements are often said in silence.” – Lynn Johnston

5. Journal Instead of Talking

Instead of texting or venting online, write it down. You’ll be surprised how much clarity comes from self-reflection. Make journaling a daily ritual – stream-of-consciousness writing can reveal what’s been buried under layers of noise and distraction.

Also read, Journaling for Clarity: 6 Prompts for Self-Discovery and Growth.

6. Create a “Silence Sanctuary” in Your Home

Find a space – a corner, a room, even just a chair– where no devices are allowed. Fill it with calming items: a candle, a plant, a soft blanket.

7. Start Small, Build Up

Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to be silent for hours on end right away. Begin with five minutes. Then ten. Gradually extend the time. Like any habit, silence becomes easier and more fulfilling with practice.

The Ultimate Takeaway

Radical Self-Silence isn’t about rejecting the world. It’s about reclaiming yourself from it. It’s an act of rebellion in a society that demands your constant attention. And the best part? Once you tap into its power, you’ll never crave the noise the same way again.

“How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table. How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. Let me sit here for ever with bare things, this coffee cup, this knife, this fork, things in themselves, myself being myself.” ― Virginia Woolf, The Waves

So, are you ready to disconnect to truly reconnect? Your most powerful, peaceful, and authentic self is waiting in the silence.

Start today! I’ve prepared a free MY RADICAL SELF-SILENCE JOURNAL, and I’d love to share it with you. Just email me and I will forward it to you.

Let’s Reflect:

What feelings come up for you when you think about complete silence? What’s holding you back from embracing it? Share your thoughts in the comments – I’d love to hear how you plan to create more Radical Self-Silence in your life!