When I think back 30 years ago into the 1990s, when I began my career as a dating coach, pre-internet, I shudder. The internet has grown with opportunities for online dating for everyone – from a 50-year-old woman to my eldest current client, a 90-year-old man (who by the way plays tennis daily and enjoys a super active and healthful lifestyle).
This did not exist in the 1990s! Back then, as a widowed, divorced or single senior, the chances for the next act of romance and love were slim. Why? You had to rely on your friends and family – and they truly ran out of potential suitors for you.
But not anymore! Which makes me so happy. With over 1400 dating sites and dating apps on the cyber market now, there is no reason to be dateless!
Here are my four dating tips for seniors.
Time to Come Out of Your Comfort Zone
By our age, we have amassed a strong group of friends, family and loved ones. But our personal love life needn’t be done! More and more singles in their 50s to 70s are finding Second Acts with Love and Dating.
But no potential date is going to appear on your doorstep, so you need to be ready with ideas, energy, and a sense of adventure! The right dating site is just waiting for you – many specialize in the 50–75-year-old age group in your area.
Susan, 66, lives in Chicago and has three children in young adulthood. She called me after her 25-year marriage ended. While she was keeping busy working retail part-time for fun and continuing her yoga, neither were great activities for meeting men she was interested in. Her questions were: Am I too old? Will men around my age date me or will they be really old or only want to date younger?
You Make It Happen
Yes, it can be confusing: Where should I begin; Are there dating sites for seniors; How do I navigate all of this alone?
Well, the good news is that you needn’t go it alone. Considering there are over 1400 dating sites/apps in cyberspace, how do you even begin to begin? Well, you will start with the right dating site in your area – many specialize in the 50–75-year-old age group in your city.
My client Susan approached entering the dating markets as she had yoga, 20 years ago. She went to a beginner’s class, decided she liked yoga, and began doing some private one-on-one yoga sessions with her favorite yoga teacher.
She took the same approach with dating – hired a professional dating coach to lessen her learning curve and save her time. Basically, Susan chose to begin dating with full information and a dating coach at her side for initial confidence and to steer her through the murky waters to the right site with the right type of men she was hoping to meet!
Don’t Bother Dusting Off Those Old Pictures of You
No, you won’t need them! What you will need is 6-8 current photos from the past year – active photos! If you are yogi, as my client Susan, we used two photos of her in yoga poses. You have a great garden? Men on dating sites will enjoy seeing your tomatoes, zucchini, etc. – with you, of course, in the photos.
My clients’ photos tend to range from hiking, tennis, pickleball, touring Budapest to celebrating a grandchild’s birthday or a daughter’s college graduation. Your potential dates are getting a snapshot of your life – just make certain you are in all the photos! (Yes, I had a client send me a photo of the Taj Mahal – without her in it!!).
Pick Out Two Cute Dating Outfits… And You Are Ready to Roll!
First dates are super casual and tend to be lunch, coffee, perhaps sharing a glass of wine and appetizers on a Sunday afternoon. Your first date is nothing more than a fun adventure to chat and get to know a new person – not an audition for marriage.
I have found that once my clients have gone on 2-3 first dates the first month, it’s been like getting back on a bicycle. Easy. Exciting. New, fresh conversation. And often disbelief that such nice men are “out” there!
Your confidence will soar – and you will quickly find some dates naturally evolve into 2nd or 3rd dates – and before you know it, you are in a relationship!
Remember the old saying: Make new friends, but keep the old… at every phase in life it’s great to have new friends, and I’ve found we are never too old to date.
My latest engagement was in June 2022 with Tara, 67 in NYC to Michael, 69, in Westchester – they are planning a small wedding with friends. Oh, and Tara’s four children were in happy shock. After their mother’s 36-year marriage and subsequently being widowed, she caught them all by surprise.
For me, I see it every week. My friends wonder sometimes how I’ve done this since 1991.Well, I love my clients, love what I do, and still get super excited every time I hear happy voices telling me over the phone about their dates! Oh, what’s going on with Susan in Chicago? She’s taking a hike with Thomas on Sunday – their third date. Fingers crossed!
How successful have you been in online dating? Have you gone on second and third dates with someone? Do you know which dating site is the right one for you?
