August 2nd marked International Beer Day – followed by International Hangover Day the next day.
Really?
The liquor industry has invested trillions of dollars to convince us that we need to drink alcohol to have a full and happy life. Their marketing strategy has been stunningly successful, but perhaps it’s time to question their messaging.
Does Alcohol Really Make Us Happy?
It certainly is a quick fix and will give us a chemical high which will briefly numb our anxiety. The buzz we get from booze is, of course, due to the alcohol level in our blood, but it’s important to realize that this good feeling will only last for about 20 minutes.
After 20 minutes, our mood will dip lower than it was when we had that first drink… and that’s why we want another!
Alcohol is actually a depressant and regular drinking will increase our anxiety.
Drinking Alcohol Is Like Pouring Gasoline on Your Anxiety!
Rather than relying on a toxin to get a chemical high, perhaps we should dive a bit deeper… into the science.
How can we get more “natural highs”?
The Neuroscience of Happiness
The quest for happiness is a perennial human pursuit, but the ever-growing body of research into neuroscience can provide new insights.
We can now begin to understand the brain’s intricate pathways that lead to those moments of pleasure and contentment.
The implications of this research are profound, suggesting that enhancing our understanding of the brain’s role in happiness could lead to better mental health and well-being.
Our Brains Are Not Wired to Be “Happy”
As humans, we not wired to be happy all the time,;we are wired for survival and to seek out threats.
Think back to our ancestors who would spend their days hunting down animals for food. They were driven by purpose and flooded with dopamine as they looked forward to eating the food they had caught.
For more on this check out this article: Why You’re Unhappy.
Changing Our Mindset Around Happiness
Once we understand the neuroscience we won’t expect to be “happy all the time” and we will start to realise that we need to take responsibility for our own happiness.
We can start to change our mindset into a more realistic one.
We will be less likely to go to the doctor to be “fixed” which will possibly result in us joining the 25% of older American women who are taking anti-depressants.
Unhappiness is not a disease.
Our threat-seeking brain will keep us in a state of anxiety unless we understand better how we can shift our mood.
How to Trigger Our Happy Brain Chemicals
We no longer have to hunt for our food – we can just open the fridge or call for a pizza! Our basic needs are met so does that mean we can just sit around waiting for happiness to strike?
If you were to sit on your sofa all weekend, watching movies and eating snacks, it’s unlikely that you would be brimming with joy by Monday.
No exercise, no connection… and most importantly, no purpose.
Why Purpose Is So Important
For many of us our purpose was clear since we were born. As babies we had to learn to walk and talk. Then we had to go to school and get an education. With that education we could build a career and a family.
Busy lives full of purpose.
However, as we grow older, our purpose becomes less clear. Especially if children and grandchildren are living far away. We can be hit with a low mood and even sink into depression.
Happiness Is a Skill
We need to talk to our brain… or it will surely talk to us!
Once we understand how to trigger our happy brain chemicals, we can keep ourselves relatively content without rushing off to the doctor to get medication.
Having a worthwhile project that gives us a sense of purpose is the answer. It doesn’t have to be a huge meaningful project – start with smaller projects which will trigger your creativity, and you’ll begin to think of other things you can explore.
You will start to get curious.
Still can’t think of a project? Then make it your project to find one!
Go to Udemy.com and learn something new. Go to meetup.com and check out the amazing hobbies on there.
Why Projects Matter So Much
Our happy brain chemicals reward us for the steps we take toward meeting our needs. They don’t get triggered automatically, so we have to “do the work.”
That means working with our brains by taking steps towards goals that we create for ourselves.
When I quit drinking alcohol, I felt very low. The project that saved me was starting Tribe Sober back in 2015.
Many of our Tribe members are hit by the “early sobriety blues” – the low mood that usually hits about 3 or 4 months into our alcohol-free journey.
We always advise them to “get a project” and over the last 8 years we have seen so many of our members thrive in their alcohol-free lives by discovering and pursuing the most amazing projects.
Rather than relying on the mood altering toxin that is alcohol, they have discovered the joy of creating more meaning in their lives.
Bridging Pleasure and Meaning
Did you know that our brain’s reward system activates not just when we receive but also when we give? Our neural circuitry is designed to derive joy from helping others. That’s why volunteering is such a fantastic way to bring joy and satisfaction into our lives as we get older.
Check out this wonderful quote from Viktor Frankl:
“Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure as Freud believed, nor a quest for power as Adler taught but a quest for meaning.”
In later life we can look back and find meaning in our lives, especially if we stay engaged in helping those who are less fortunate than ourselves.
Build Your Happiness Toolkit!
Your project can be broken down into steps, and, as you work towards these mini goals, you’ll be raising your dopamine levels.
Apart from your main project you can build a personal toolkit – something you can dip into if you are feeling low. A quick fix that will give you a natural high.
Everyone’s toolkit will look different, but here’s a list of ideas to get you started:
- Go for a walk
- meditate
- do some breathing exercises
- update your journal
- start a gratitude practice
- practice mindfulness
- watch some funny videos
- read a book
- knit a sweater
- meet up with a friend
- listen to some music
- play with the dog
- get out into nature.
Accept the Ebb and Flow of Your Feelings
Once we’re aware that as humans we are not here to be “happy all the time,” we can better understand the ebb and flow of our feelings.
All feelings are transitory – whether joy or sadness, those feelings will come and go. Think of them as clouds in the sky, always moving across the horizon.
No-one escapes anxiety as our primitive brain is always scanning for danger, but the trick is not to ruminate. Don’t let anxiety become your default mode. Rather “play the movie forward” and recognize that those anxious feelings will pass.
Take a deep breath, acknowledge your feelings and then go and do something.
Building Resilience
Resilience theory tells us that learning to cope better with life’s inevitable setbacks will contribute significantly to our overall level of happiness.
If we feel that we have the ability to “bounce back” from what life throws at us, we are less likely to be permanently on the lookout for difficulties.
To learn more about resilience check out the resilience factory which is run by Gabi Lowe. Gabi has had to live with the trauma of losing her 21-year-old daughter and made it her project to research and then teach resilience.
You can hear me interviewing Gabi on this Tribe Sober podcast episode.
Conclusion
Even though our brains are naturally threat-seeking, we can still lay the foundation for happiness by understanding the neuroscience behind how our brains work.
Although most of our neural wiring is built in childhood, it is still possible to build new pathways in adulthood. It takes knowledge, persistence and repetition.
Create a healthy mindset around happiness and then get building your individual happiness toolkit!
Invitation to Our Free Webinar
16th August – 5pm South African time – morning in the US.
If you think you might be relying on your nightly glass of wine to trigger your happy brain chemicals why not come to our FREE webinar when I will share my personal story as well as tips, tools and inspiration.
Click here to register for the Free Webinar
Let’s Have a Conversation:
How many years have you been drinking? Do you drink consistently – a glass or two of wine most evenings? Have you ever tried to take a break to test your dependence? Have you noticed an impact on your looks or mood after taking a break? Did you lose weight? Do you ever worry about your drinking? Do you feel happy in your retirement? Do you think alcohol makes you happy?
