Some things I have mastered. Mostly, things that I’ve done over and over, often with little attention. Things like driving a car. Or riding a bicycle. Or brewing a pot of coffee. No need for deep thought or remembering details… just do it and it somehow comes out well.

I can whip up a meal, bake a loaf of bread, iron a shirt, fold laundry, meet someone new, tell a joke, and comfort a baby pretty well. Not much thought, just lots of practice.

However, there are a few things that I expected to become good at that I have still not mastered, even into my sixth decade. I assumed I would become an expert in these areas, but so far, the results are minimal.

Shaving My Legs

One would think that since I started this little activity at around age 12 I would be really good at it by now, 54 years later. Not so. I have started carrying a razor in my car because I often see missed spots in the sunshine. How can one not master the art of smooth legs after so many practice opportunities?

Sigh. The handy razor solves my dilemma.

Ignoring Other’s Bad Behavior

I kind of thought that I would become more tolerant as I aged. Understanding and walking in others’ shoes and all that.

Actually, I am more tolerant. Having sons who have had to learn to stay sober, another son with Down syndrome, now having daughters-in-law and a son-in-law and knowing their stories… not to mention being married to a pastor (now retired, yeah!!!) and hearing all sorts of legitimate reasons to be hurt have broadened my scope of understanding.

But, there are still some actions that I can’t seem to ignore. I can (usually) refrain from commenting on it, but I still stew inside.

Not Caring What Others Think of Me

It still hurts my feelings if someone doesn’t like me. I have gotten over having big ears. I can wear my naturally grey hair very short with confidence, even though two of my children have nonchalantly told me they like me more with longer hair.

I can go into a room and hold my own. I can easily decide to skip an event or get myself invited, if I want to go. But, I still really want others to enjoy being around me. And I hate being taken advantage of… and I cannot not see that.

Singing Like I Did in High School

I was in the elite choir in high school and thoroughly enjoyed it all. We even went to Europe on a month-long tour the summer before my senior year.

I enjoyed the trip so much, I got kicked out of choir after our return, but, I managed to talk my way back into the good graces of the director and into the soprano section for one last semester.

Singing in a choir was something I thought I would eventually get back to. The contemporary church service I attended had a “worship band” and though at one time I wanted to be part of it, other people were more available and, frankly, better singers.

Community choirs did not fit with my schedule of having a bunch of kids who were in sports and other activities. So by the time I am now able to schedule in choir practice, I find my unused voice is in no shape for regular use. I am okay with this, but with a wee bit of sadness.

A Love of Gardening

I have friends who tell me that gardening is therapeutic, pulling weeds with a vengeance and all that. And that the feel of dirt in their hands is pleasant. And that they enjoy the act of gardening just as much as the results.

I believe all that is true for them. But I still hate weeding. Fortunately, my husband enjoys a bit of gardening, so I get to enjoy fresh greens and herbs, but I have given up trying to influence his choice of plants. I buy my bouquets at the grocery store.

Being Able to Dance Well

I wanted to dance well into my 80s. But, alas, I married a fine man who has many stellar qualities, but who just cannot – or will not? – learn to dance effortlessly. I grew up in Texas where the two-step was great fun if you had a good partner who could lead strongly.

When my husband and I tried ballroom dancing class once, rotating through the other dancing wannabes was not pleasant for either of us. And, frankly, my once-drummer husband’s counting beats in my ear was not inspiring. We have found other enjoyments.

Having Beautiful Handwriting

I have decided that a legible handwriting is acceptable.

All of this serves to say that who I have become is okay with me. Also, what I have opted to focus on has been mostly intentional, and if it wasn’t intentional, I now know why. I’m good with being good at what I’m good at. And with letting others find their own satisfactions.

What about you? What did you always think you would “one day” be good at? What are you happy about leaving behind as an expectation? How has reducing expectation freed you up? Please share your insights below.

It was on the one hand, a terribly difficult decision to make. On the other, it felt like there was no other option.

My husband had been suffering with stomach cancer for the best part of a year. Initially, we were hopeful, but after the operation did not get all the cancer out, we were left with him facing the end, only being offered a second round of chemo, with a 5% chance of giving him a bit longer. He didn’t want to die, so he said yes to that option.

But within a couple of days of taking the chemo pills, my husband looked awful.

This Was His Decision

Over the conservatory breakfast table one morning, with the sun shining in and the birds tweeting outside, me eating, him watching, he said:

“I feel like a zombie. This is really dreadful. I’ve been thinking it through – I just can’t do it. I’d rather be here fully alive and relatively well than feel like this. Is that okay with you?”

I looked deeply into his eyes. I had seen him struggling to come to terms with something, and we both knew what this meant.

It was not an easy decision for my lovely man, nor was it easy for me to agree with him that it was okay. And yet I had watched him suffer, and when you love someone, the last thing you want is for that to continue.

“Of course it’s okay with me. I will support you whatever you decide,” I told him.

Despite the fact it meant he would be leaving me sooner than what either of us wanted, I just couldn’t disagree with him. That night, I cried silent tears by myself.

He had a few more weeks of relatively good health and we had many joyous times together, as we refused to entertain thoughts of the future and simply delighted in being here now, as all the spiritual sages advise us to do.

Medical Decisions with Coronavirus

Nowadays with coronavirus, there are equally difficult treatment decisions you may have to take. But if you haven’t thought them through beforehand, like my husband did, they will be almost impossible to make.

The last thing you will want is to be like the Scottish woman who received an unexpected phone call from her doctor.

She said: “I was a bit startled when asked whether I wished, if I got ill, to be resuscitated. In fact, I was so taken aback, I wasn’t able to give them an answer over the phone, so the option was to leave things as they are, which means I would receive resuscitation, no matter what.”

She clearly did not have the information required to be able to make an informed decision that she felt okay about, nor did she have the time needed to process the question.

Let’s face it, many of us at Sixty and Me are of an age that could be deemed at risk right now, though, of course, it depends on your individual situation.

And the likelihood is that you won’t die. But on the other hand, you could, as has already been shown.

It is really important, therefore, to think through what kind of treatment you would NOT want should you contract the virus seriously.

If you’ve done this in advance, then you will have a very different response to what this Scottish lady had.

Planning for Unexpected End of Life

Helping people think through their particular options towards their end of life is one aspect of what I do. I started doing end-of-life planning work after my husband died in 2011, when I wrote about all the questions I had asked him in his last year.

If you don’t know what kind of information you will need to consider that would make the situation easier on you and your family, or the wording you need to use in your written document, then you can get the opportunity to discuss these issues in a special Advance Coronavirus Care Statement online workshop I’m offering to Sixty and Me readers.

Hopefully, you will never need this. But just in case, you will be prepared.

Think of it like insurance – you hope you’ll never need it (and you probably won’t) but just in case, you’ve taken care of yourself, your family, and the doctors, as best as possible. And that brings relief, comfort, and some sense of control in this time of uncertainty.

Do you know what you wish for your end-of-life care? Does anybody else know? Have you written down your statement? Please share what you have done to prepare for a just in case situation.

Leah McSweeney’s Camel Turtleneck Sweater on RHONY

Real Housewives of New York Season 12 Episode 6 Fashion

Although she can rock an edgy mugshot dress like no other, Leah McSweeney’s camel turtleneck sweater on this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York just goes to show that she can rock a more casual, comfy lewk just as easily. Well unless it’s the Sonja By Sonja Morgan Off Duty Knit Set that is.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Anine Bing Sweater

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock

Click Here to Shop it in Black on Sale

Originally posted at: Leah McSweeney’s Camel Turtleneck Sweater

You may have noticed a growing trend among professional athletes – the use of compression socks to help improve performance. Compression therapy is a hot topic in sports media right now as more and more triathletes, marathon runners and professional athletes are trying compression socks to improve their performance and recovery.

That’s because compression socks are designed to improve circulation to flush out lactic acid for shorter recovery time and provide protection and relief from injuries like shin splints and plantar fasciitis.

However, compression socks aren’t just for professional athletes. Everyone can benefit from wearing compression socks as well as getting more movement, regardless of age or physical ability. If anything, older adults have more to gain from using compression socks since our circulation may need a little extra support.

Before we take a look at some popular ways to get your body moving and what compression socks to wear for those activities, let’s talk about what exactly compression socks are, why you need them and the medical benefits of wearing them.

Check out Brightlife Direct’s entire range of compression socks and start building the active lifestyle you need, without sacrificing the comfort that you deserve.

What Exactly Are Compression Socks? 

Compression socks are specially knit knee high socks that apply graduated pressure to the ankle and leg to improve circulation in your legs. The pressure is greatest at the ankle and decreases up the leg. The amount of pressure is indicated using the measurement term “mmHG” or millimeters of mercury.

Compression thigh highs, pantyhose and leggings work the same way, but have compression that goes all the way up to the thigh.

Why Might You Need Them?

Our venous system is working hard to move blood from our heart to our toes and back to our heart again. Some days, we’re moving around enough that our leg muscles flex and act as pumps to help push the blood back up our legs. Unfortunately, a lot of us are not moving around as much as we should be. Sitting or standing for long periods of time causes blood to pool in our ankles. And, as we age, our circulatory system tends to need more help and support. That’s where compression stockings can give you that extra boost in circulation!

What Are the Possible Medical Benefits? What Can Compression Socks Do for Me?

There are many potential benefits of wearing compression socks. Of course, each of our bodies are different, but, many of our customers report:

• Enhanced circulation, which energizes legs and reduces the feeling of heaviness 
• Less swelling in the ankle and calves
• Improved spider and varicose veins
• Improved athletic performance – whether walking, golfing or on the tennis court
• Reduced muscle soreness after physical activities 

Popular Activities and the Best Compression Socks to Wear

Walking is a great way to get out and get some exercise. By walking for 30 minutes most days of the week at a brisk pace, you will be improving your cardiovascular and pulmonary fitness, reducing the risk of heart disease and stroke and strengthening your bones while improving balance.

The Allegro Cushioned Walking Sock is a great choice, with 10-15 mmHG these socks are made with Hydrotec Moisture Management polyester to keep your feet dry and happy! They also have a seamless toe to protect against friction and irritation.

Biking let’s you get out in nature and feel the wind in your hair while increasing cardiovascular fitness, muscle strength and flexibility, improving joint mobility, strengthening bones, improving posture and coordination and decreasing stress levels among other numerous benefits. It is a great activity for all ages, especially for older adults because it is a low impact, low-stress form of exercise.

While biking, keep safety in mind; make sure your bike is ready and the brakes work properly, plan your route ahead of time, wear a helmet and if biking after dark have reflective strips or a light.

The CEP Women’s Run Socks 2.0 reduce muscle soreness and provide muscle stability and support with 20-30 mmHg. Plus, they feature antibacterial and odor reducing properties to prevent odor and bacteria. They are designed specifically for women with an anatomical fit, but don’t worry they make them for men too.

Golf is one of the most popular sports in the world, it is estimated that 60 million people around the world count it as one of their pastimes. Golf may not be considered physically demanding, it is a low impact activity, but playing one round means you are outside and moving.

Walking the course will provide the most health benefits but even if you take a cart you are still improving your heart health, stimulating your brain, getting social interaction and reducing stress. The CEP Men’s Compression Socks for Recovery are a great choice for during or after a round. They feature 20-30 mmHg and compression knitting that improves circulation for comfort.

Tennis provides many health benefits for all ages, the sport improves upper and lower body strength, helps maintain a healthy weight, promotes lung and heart health and can provide an opportunity for making new friends.

Because tennis is a weight bearing exercise, it helps to increase bone density which prevents osteoporosis and bone fractures. Two great socks for hitting the courts include the Allegro Athletic Performance sock and the Sigvaris Performance 412c Compression sock both socks are for men and women and provide 20-30mmHg.

Margaret Manning’s Take

“Keeping moving is a big part of my focus on healthy aging. Because I sit for many hours a day, I find that brisk walking is the most effective and enjoyable way to celebrate and nurture my active body! I love getting out into nature as a kind of active meditation!

Wearing compression socks has become a part of my daily routine. I had no idea the difference they would make. Wearing lightweight compression socks from Brightlife Direct improves my circulation, prevents sore legs and swollen ankles. They give me a sense of support which encourages me to increase my pace and stamina. So, I can achieve those extra steps that provide the cardiovascular benefits my body needs.

Also, I have noticed that, with improved circulation, my varicose veins are less visible and achy. Wearing compression socks has helped me to enjoy this amazing time of my life in an active and fun way!”- Margaret Manning

Remember, you don’t need to be a professional athlete to wear compression, people of all ages and abilities can get out and find a way to get moving while enjoying the benefits that compression socks provide.

Check out Brightlife Direct’s entire range of compression socks and start building the active lifestyle you need, without sacrificing the comfort that you deserve.

Do you wear compression socks on a regular basis? How have you found that they have improved your life? Let’s have a chat!