My car has a feature which I find totally annoying. When I’m close to what the ‘powers-that-be’ determined is my next required maintenance, a little box pops up on the dash-screen announcing “Maintenance required soon!” and stays on until I’ve acceded to its request.

When I called the service center to find out how much maintenance is necessary, the very polite and friendly service rep asked, “Well, it depends on your mileage. How many miles do you have on your car?” I reply, “Oh, I don’t know. I just drive the thing.”

And then it hit me – why don’t we do that with our age? We certainly know we’re past babyhood, technically past adolescence, well into adulthood (we hope), so what good does it do us to obsess over our exact number of ‘miles’ (or kilometers), as in 60, 70, 80 or however years old?

I’ve decided I’m going with “I just drive the thing,” as in I’ll just happily inhabit my body, love it, treat it well and give it regular oil changes – well, not really, but you know what I mean.

Enjoy the Ride

What a freeing thought! What if we just “drove the thing,” ignoring the numbers on the odometer, and enjoyed the ride? You don’t usually check the odometer before driving all over town to find that special gift for your grandson.

Why would you check your age before buying those skinny jeans? Or learning to kayak? Or taking art classes? Or anything else you feel inspired to experience?

Certainly, you always want to be mindful of your body’s capabilities before taking on something new. But heck, you had to do the same thing when you were 30. You know, that magical day when cold pizza for breakfast just didn’t work for you anymore.

Embrace Your Age

What if the age we embrace is the age we feel like on whatever day? For the most part, I feel 40, except for those few days when I feel 103. Yet, I clearly remember there were days in my 20s when I felt I was pushing 100, so nothing has really changed.

Attitude matters! According to recent Yale University research, how you view aging has tremendous impact on your physical and mental well-being, even on something as apparently inevitable as a genetic predisposition to dementia.

A group of 4,765 individuals was studied with an average age of 72. Every single one of them had a gene variant linked to dementia, yet those who had positive attitudes about aging were fully 50% less likely to develop dementia, as opposed to those who had pessimistic or fearful thoughts about getting older.

Positive attitude towards aging alone is a significant health-and-longevity factor.

One such positive thinker is Leah Chase who considers herself the luckiest woman in the world. At 93, Leah is the queen of Creole cooking, creating her dishes at the famous Dooky Chase Restaurant in New Orleans, Louisiana.

She works from 8:00 am to midnight – as she has for 70 years – sporting her signature red chef’s jacket.

In addition to her many awards as a chef, Leah received the New Orleans Times-Picayune’s Loving Cup Award for her service to the community, and the coveted American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana’s Ben Smith Award for her work to promote racial equality.

Clearly, Leah just “drives the thing” with joy, exuberance and a smile that lights up the whole restaurant. What a wonderful example for us all!

So yes, get your regular check-ups, do whatever is needed to keep your body and mind healthy and happy, and go for it! Life is as good as you allow it to be, whatever your age.

What do you do that isn’t seen as “normal” for your age? Have you ever used age as an excuse for not trying something new – and then regretted it? Please share your stories below!

Over the last months, everyone everywhere has lost someone or something. The whole world is suffering as the virus that causes Covid-19 continues to spread and impact millions.

Like so many thousands around the world, we are grieving the loss of mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, friends, neighbors, colleagues. These special people meant so much, but now we can only grieve alone, isolated from the comfort of the world.

We are all grieving the loss of normalcy and routine during this global crisis. Easing back into life after a loss is difficult under ‘normal’ circumstances. Nothing feels even slightly normalish now. 

My Personal Loss

On May 15, 2020, my family suffered a tragic loss with the sudden death of my mother-in-law, Patricia Blumberg. After two days in the hospital and four days in hospice care, this perfectly healthy woman passed away.

She had been talking of shortness of breath and sleepiness, and though the virus test came out negative, we aren’t inclined to believe the results.

The graveside service was small, immediate family only, covered in sorrow and masks. If we were not in the middle of this pandemic, the chapel would have been overflowing with love from her friends, extended family, and community. 

Too Many Losses at Once

The loss of Patricia brought an unexpected revival of the grief I’d felt over losing my mother to cancer more than 31 years ago. I thought I had grieved that loss fully, but now the old grief has rushed back and is present alongside this new loss.

Like many others, I feel overwhelmed by personal losses, business losses, the loss of friendly hugs, alongside the losses resulting from the global pandemic and the racial injustices.

Sitting with the silence of grief during this time is hard, really hard. I know I can’t rush the grieving process, but how I wish I could!

What I do instead is listen to Manoj Dias, a mindfulness teacher, who says that allowing our bodies to feel the weight of our emotions without creating a story around them is how we transform our heartbreak into compassionate action.

My Truths

I know that I am more sensitive than the average person – several therapists have told me so, and my own experience has confirmed it. I am sensitive to the world around me; I feel others’ pain, happiness, joy, and sorrow. I can feel all the nuanced changes in my body, including all the little aches and pains.

This sensitivity is not a good thing or a bad thing. It is not a character fault or shortcoming. I look at it as part of my DNA. It simply is. It is one of the reasons I am good at what I do for a living. It helps me to be empathetic and a good listener.

Ways to Unfurl Grief

I know that everyone grieves differently, and there’s no one way to go about it. Here are some things that are helping me on this journey:

Reading

I know that books don’t necessarily hold the answers, but I read them because they offer me comfort and inspiration Some particularly good titles are Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl, When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron, and More Beautiful Than Before by Steve Leder.

Taking Care of Myself 

I look after the things I have a bit of control over – my health and wellness, my schedule, and my business.

Going Outside

I get out of my head and my house on a regular basis to mitigate my anxiety. 

Seeking Support

I know I don’t have to do everything on my own, so I created ‘Team Sharon’, a small circle of loving souls to support me in this time. Asking for help is out of my comfort zone, but I need to honor my need to receive in times of challenge.

Practicing Gratitude

I pay very close attention to the words I am using. For example, I say “I am grateful that I have been loved by two mothers” instead of “I have lost my mother in law.”

Research has proven that gratitude buffers the challenges we all face in life. For me, it is important to activate that sense of gratitude and to do so on a daily basis. It is helping me cope.

Not Giving Up

I remind myself that being resilient doesn’t mean that I will bounce back quickly or without setbacks. It means having the tenacity to not give up no matter the circumstances. It also means to leverage my strengths to maintain my physical and emotional wellbeing during the time of crisis and uncertainty.

Working on My Patience

I am not the patient type, and it has been hard to work through the residual feelings of fear and exhaustion. On a daily basis, I try to be patient and compassionate to allow myself the time to heal from the losses.

I know that grief takes time and requires love, patience, and support from family and close friends. With my team close by, I will handle anything.

“Pain diminishes us, and it is so important to remember, in the midst of pain and everything that pain takes from you, that still… you are enough. You are enough just as you are. You are worthy of love and kindness. You are enough. And you have enough.” – Steve Leder

What are you grieving in this time of Covid? Which of your losses has been the most painful? How do you work through grief? What practices have helped you cope with the present situation of grieving in isolation? Please share with our community and let’s have a conversaion.

Braunwyn Windham-Burke’s Green Cropped Sweatshirt on Instastories

Real Housewives of Orange County 2020 Instagram Fashion

I’m not sure what was cuter on Braunwyn Windham-Burke’s Instastories, her green cropped sweatshirt or her and her daughters matching outfits. Though the sweatshirt is pretty cute I think I have to go with the matching outfits because omg awwww.

Braunwyn stepped into her green crop top and tie dye pants and stepped out to pose for Pride Month. It was soooo adorable how excited her daughter was to get to take a picture in matching clothes. I can’t really blame her I would be excited too to be able to match Braunwyn. Thank goodness that is possible for all of us since we can steal her style below.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To See Her Sold Out Alo Yoga Green Cropped Sweatshirt

Click Here To Shop Her Gold Sheep Neon Tie Dye Leggings

Photo Credit: @braunwynwindhamburke

Originally posted at: Braunwyn Windham-Burke’s Green Cropped Sweatshirt

Braunwyn Windham-Burke’s Blue Striped Shirt Dress on Instastories

Real Housewives of Orange County 2020 Instagram Fashion

It looks like malls are re-opening in the OC which means you can find Braunwyn Windham-Burke at her “happy place” otherwise know as Fashion Island. Which after seeing her in her blue striped shirt dress I have to agree she’s right on the money as she’s an expert shopper. I thought this was the cutest photo of her and two of her kids though I felt bad her Rowan’s eyes were closed, even though she still looked gorgeous. My mom would totally post a pic of me like that, and then she’d laugh about it for years to come.

Like Braunwyn, my happy place also includes being with my fam. But since I’m no longer in the same state as them I’ll just have to settle for my second happiest place, the mall. And since I’ll be without them I’ll just have to pick up this cute shirt dress to add in just a littttle more happiness until I can get home.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop her Ganni Shirt Dress on Sale

Click Here To Shop Additional Stock 

Click Here for Even More Stock

Photo Credit: @braunwynwindhamburke

Originally posted at: Braunwyn Windham-Burke’s Blue Striped Shirt Dress

Erika Schaefer’s Maroon Sweater on Her Instastories

Million Dollar Listing LA 2020 Instagram Fashion

Erika Schaefer’s recent Instastories reminded me that I needed two things. One was more coffee and the other a Style Stealer of her maroon sweater.  A good sweater is perfect with almost any thing whether it’s paired with a cute pair of pants for a night out, or an early morning trash clean out errand with a pair of casual cutoffs.

Erika seems like a pretty good real estate agent for doubling as a (very chic) sanitation worker for her client. I can barely get my boyfriend to take out our 13 gallon trash bag. Maybe if he had a cute chenille maroon sweater to get the job done in he would? Or maybe if he had one to give to me as a present for being his personal trash transporter taking out the trash wouldn’t be quite so bad.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To See Her Sold Out Urban Outfitters Maroon Chenille V Neck Sweater

Photo Credit: @erikaschaefer_

Originally posted at: Erika Shaefer’s Maroon Sweater on Her Instastories