Kyle Richards’ Yellow Tinted Aviator Sunglasses with Camille Grammer

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 10 Episode 10 Fashion

 Another week, another pair of fab sunglasses worn by Kyle Richards’ while talking to Camille Grammer about proper frenemy etiquette. And these yellow tinted aviators have the blue coolest hue, especially with Camille’s beach view reflecting off of them.

We initially posted on these frames when Kyle wore them to Coachella (remember, back when we could gather in groups of actual friends?!). And while we don’t always double post they are too good not to highlight again because if you’re anything like me you’re stocking up on accessories, beauty products and PJ’s while spending this season stuck at home. But hey, watching Kyle and Camille’s tense convo reminded me that it ain’t so bad being stuck in my house shopping for sunnies and not dealing with drama.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Barton Perreira Sunglasses

Click Here to Shop Them in Blue

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Yellow Tinted Aviator Sunglasses

I’m not a patient woman by nature. I’ve never gone slowly and carefully into things but run full bore ahead. One of my mottos is, “If all else fails, read the directions.”

When I start something new, I want to go to the last chapter first and worry about how to get there later. In this hurry to get to the goal, I often lose patience with those that can’t keep up. I’m not proud of this, but it’s my nature – or perhaps my conditioning.

Immersion Course in Practicing Patience as a Caregiver

When Alzheimer’s kidnapped our lives, I was jettisoned into an immersion course in patience. Becoming a caregiver for my husband, Bob, was fraught with failure.

I often thought I fell short of being a good caregiver. I seemed to tumble off the patience wagon more often than was comfortable with. I was forever straining to pull myself back on, vowing to be better, yet not being able to fully realize that desire.

“What’s for Dinner?”

Sometimes I’d watch as my body and psyche shut down. It could happen gradually or swiftly. There was a physical reaction, often centered in the solar plexus, as well as an emotional retreat, that could be triggered by something as innocuous as Bob staring at me while I was cooking.

It’s dinnertime. We’re in our small kitchen. “What’s for dinner?” Bob asks for the third time.

“Pasta with smoked tuna and an arugula salad with sun-dried tomatoes.” I’m a frantic, focused cook, moving quickly around the kitchen with no time to wash up as I go.

“What’s for dinner?”

“Pasta and salad,” I say with strained patience and gritted teeth.

The smell of sautéed garlic and onions fills the room. I try to distract Bob with jobs like setting the table or washing whatever I’ve already thrown in the sink or piled up on the counter.

“What’s for dinner?”

“We’re having a yummy pasta and an organic green salad.” I try to brighten my answer and solidify my resolve to be patient, as I pour white wine into the sauce. In reality though, it’s better to repeat the same answer.

I secretly try to dirty as many items as possible to keep him busy. But as soon as he’s finished, he stands off to the side, just on the edge of my peripheral vision, almost at military attention, and watches my every move.

“What’s for dinner?”

Feeling Powerless as a Caregiver

Logically, I know there’s no harm in this watching or questioning. Logically, I know he’s bored and has nothing else to do, and I’m his only entertainment. Logically, I know this has nothing to do with me.

But emotionally, it drives me mad. It triggers a reaction I’m not proud of – shutting down and becoming crisp cold. I watch this happen and feel powerless to stop it.

It’s not until my brain chemicals subside and the gate of warmth opens that I can really be with him again, friendly and affectionate.

Studying the Shutdowns

I’ve studied these shutdowns, trying to figure out a way out of them, a way of being more compassionate with my husband. Sometimes they come upon me for no special reason, and I watch myself retreat inside a suit of armor.

The harder I struggle, the more locked-in and distant I become. It feels like I reach a point where I’ve had enough, and I just can’t give anymore.

The Only Way Out Is Through

I’ve realized that the only way out is through. The only thing to do is to be as aware as possible of what’s truly going on. It seems to me that this awareness holds the key to healing.

I also see the need to have compassion for myself and for what I’m endeavoring to do. Awareness and self-patience don’t come easily. You can read more about these realizations in my book Piece by Piece: Love in the Land of Alzheimer’s.

Finally, a New Country

For years I repeatedly failed at patience, until one day it was as though I’d stepped through an archway into a new country, and I was patient.

I could finally be with Bob without berating myself for failing. I could be with him, open and inviting, experiencing what was going on with curiosity.

I’ve come to see that caring for him was a gift on so many levels, and one of the gifts that has stayed with me is patience. Believe me, my family, friends, and staff are grateful for this gift.

Are you a caregiver? What do you do to stay patient? If by nature you’re impatient, what experiences have you had to deal with it? If you’re a caregiver, what tricks did you use with your loved one to be more present with him/her? Do you feel guilty for your impatience? Do you have any advice to help those who struggle with impatience? Please share your thoughts and experiences below!

Creativity can be the key to a fuller, more enjoyable life. Fundamentally, creativity is the ability to use the imagination to come up with original ideas. Many people think that the aging brain loses its ability to think creatively.

However, in an article in Psychology Today, written by Dr. Shelly H. Carson, the claim is that “the aging brain resembles the creative brain in several ways.”

He says that the older brain is more likely to make novel and original associations. Whether harnessed for art or literature or music or simply for living day-to-day, the aging brain finds novelty where others miss it.

I recently read an excellent book by Scott Barry Kaufman and Carolyn Gregoire, Wired to Create: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind. It summarized 10 habits that research has revealed to be typical of the creative mind. It outlines habits that even the aging brain can cultivate to improve our own creativity.

Imaginative Play

Creative minds often ask themselves, “What if?” Like children at play, they put themselves into unusual, fictional situations. The Wired to Create authors quote George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” Our roles as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, or even baby-sitters, can offer opportunities to continue childhood play, too.

Passion

A passionate interest in something fuels creativity. The results reinforce the passion. We see that passion in child prodigies, like cellist YoYo Ma, but also in mature artists, like Grandma Moses. Steve Jobs urged us to do what we love, as have many others.

Sometimes, we have to immerse ourselves in the endeavor to become passionate about it. Your garden may be the canvas for your work of art.

Daydreaming

After retirement, we often have more time available to just daydream. This is a characteristic of many creative people. In that zone, associations are made that would not develop without our letting our minds wander. Creative solutions are often the joining of seemingly contradictory elements. Sweet and sour pork, anyone?

Solitude

Creative people often prefer to be alone, and they don’t feel lonely. The noise of the world is reduced, so they can think more clearly, make more creative connections.

Kaufman and Gregoire quote Henry David Thoreau, “I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” We can turn absence into advantage. Perhaps this is why so many women over 60 decide to live alone.

Intuition

Reason carries us only so far, and then we tend to rely on our intuition. Awareness is somewhat a product of our experience, and as we mature, we have more of it. Intuition allows us to think unconventionally, creatively, outside of the now-proverbial box. Such feelings often guide us and may have sources in our unconscious minds.

Openness to Experience

Experience… we definitely have plenty of that! Paradoxically, we need to be open to getting even more of it. Creativity is inspired by situations different from those we’ve already enjoyed or endured. We can seek out these new situations, new people, new endeavors, and we can also just decide to view our current circumstances in new ways.

How often do you ask the question, “What if…?”

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is awareness coupled with curiosity and attentiveness. Socrates is credited with affirming that “The unexamined life is not worth living.” While certainly an over-statement, this has more than a grain of truth. The mystic Ram Dass urged, “Be here now,” which may be more profound than Nike’s “Do it now,” though the latter has merit, too.

Sensitivity

When I say something that particularly pleases my wife, I maintain that I’m a sensitive ‘60s guy. I attribute my sensitivity to the period when we were encouraged to get in touch with our feelings. Heightened awareness can lead to creative responses.

Being sensitive is a bit like turning up the volume on the television; you hear some things you might otherwise miss, but at the risk of overwhelming your thinking. Others may not appreciate your sensitivity. Having a thin skin leads to unnecessary inter-personal friction.

Turning Adversity into Advantage

With the experience of maturity, we’ve learned the wisdom of “this, too, will pass.” Moreover, we can creatively find ways to turn lemons into lemonade. This is perhaps because we remember how we did that once or remember how someone we knew did it. We mutter that every knock is a boost. We pick ourselves up and learn from experience albeit from an altered perspective.

Thinking Differently

When you reach a certain age, you are more likely to be willing to march to the beat of a different drummer. You are often a non-conformist in thought, if not in dress or speech. Original thinking is characteristic of creative people.

Your willingness to non-conform, coupled to the lessons you’ve learned, produce unusual viewpoints. In our sixties, the accumulation of our unique experiences can put us in positions from which we get unconventional, creative viewpoints.

Go Ahead, Be Creative

The message? Harness your inner novelist, memoirist, poet, painter, sculptor, composer, choreographer, or actress. Pursue an artistic hobby, or simply find creative ways to improve your life and the lives of others.

You’ve got the mature, creative brain to do it.

Is there a creative endeavor you have started recently or hope to start? Have you found ways to be creative in everyday life? Would you say you are a non-conformist?