Some time ago I wrote a light-hearted article offering tips to boomers on how to take selfies, seeing as it’s such a phenomenon. Granted, it’s a millennial phenom, which I don’t love all that much. But hey, times change and change is the only certain thing in life.

I explored the selfie world and played with it myself. Personally, I don’t quite understand the fascination with snapping yourself all the time.

It does bother me to see people at Milan’s Duomo snapping selfies. It is as if they have to say, “I was here,” when in reality, they don’t seem present at all to the experience, so busy are they snapping selfies.

Anyway, I’m not interested in being a grouchy old person complaining about young people! Now that’s unattractive. I say, go with the flow!

Who Do You See When You Look in the Mirror?

The responses to my selfie article shocked, surprised and saddened me. There was so much self-hatred, it literally pained me. There were comments like “I hate hate hate my look. My face is rubbish. Can’t stand my flab, my wrinkles. My face is a disaster. Don’t want to look at myself. It’s a horror. I can’t stand to look at myself. No pictures no way.”

It made me wonder. Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

A baby sees her face in the mirror and smiles. She feels nothing but love, admiration, charm and thrill at her image. A child doesn’t say awful! A child is delighted. Do you remember the moment in your life when this changed?

Watch this powerful video that addresses this question.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGS-Cj5sADs

We know full well that in our sixties, we still feel like our young selves inside. Yes, it’s painful not to see our youthful face staring back at us. Yes, we all used to be pretty.

Look at Yourself Like You Would Look at a Child. With the Deepest Love

But we are still beautiful! I’ll ask the question again: Who do you see when you look in the mirror? The answer is your soul! Yes, that’s your beautiful soul staring back at you! How can you hate it?

Try standing in front of the mirror and looking at yourself as if you were looking at your inner child who’s always with you. Look at yourself with love and watch how your face softens and fills with love. And how beautiful you are.

By hating yourself, your look, by complaining and picking details apart, you are wounding your soul, saying, in effect: I hate the house you live in. The body you live in is ugly. Ouch that’s harsh.

At this age, if we haven’t learned how to love ourselves yet… when will we? Time’s a wastin’ ladies! Haven’t we spent years criticizing ourselves? This stops now. Take the time today, to look at your face in the mirror, see your inner child and love yourself.

When someone holds a camera to photograph you, imagine you are looking at one of your children or grandchildren. Feel your face relax. Look with love into the camera and you know what? You will like the photograph. Because when the soul in your eyes shines through, you look beautiful. Stop studying your photographs for flab and wrinkles. Look for the soul in your eyes, your eyes tell your story.

Your Soul Is All the Beauty You’ll Ever Need. It’s Peeking Out Through Your Eyes

The same goes for our bodies. Don’t hate your body because it’s old. Cherish your body because it’s taken you for the ride of your life.

I’ll tell you a secret. I was born with a cleft lip. I had multiple, bad surgeries as a child (this was in the 50’s when methods were primitive). I have been extremely self-conscious all my life. I felt ugly, and not perfect.

Early on I realized I was not going to escape cameras, and didn’t want to spend my life freaking out every single time someone pointed one at me. I told myself I better learn to love them. And so, I learned to look with love in the camera, believing myself to be the most beautiful me. And now, here is my face, in the selfie article, posted all over the internet. I will not apologize for myself or spend another moment hating myself. Been there, done that.

I believe it was Nora Ephron who said, and I paraphrase: smile when your picture is taken. You’ll think it is an awful photograph, but in five years, you’ll look at it and think wow, I looked good! I know you’ve had this reaction; you know it’s true. So save yourself the five years. Like it now.

A boyfriend said to me when I was young, “Love yourself. It’s the hardest thing to do.” At the time I thought, what a curious thing to say. But now, after a lifetime of self-doubt and yes, self-criticism, I understand.

We are always the worst judge of our own photographs. So put your thoughts on hold and “Smile!” Your loved ones want photographs of you. Have someone take a picture of you and look lovingly into the lens, into their eyes, into your child soul. Love yourself. It’s the hardest thing to do.

Why do you think so many women over 60 are critical of their appearance? Do you love your face? Has this article helped you to feel more positive about the way you look?

Up until last year, I didn’t consider my skin “sensitive.” Before jumpstarting the transition to a more sustainable routine (more on this later), I had grown accustomed to trying every product that landed on my desk or inside my work bag during a random drugstore stop. My face and body almost never had an adverse reaction to whatever I was slathering on—in short, my skin was basically Teflon. That is, until, I started seeing tiny, flaky splotches of skin on my legs and around my chin last winter. Hello, eczema! Now I’m obsessed with reading product labels and seeking out formulas that won’t leave my skin itchy and inflamed, including the best SPF for sensitive skin. It’s especially important during the summer, but ultimately, sun protection is on my mind every day of the year.

Sunscreen comes in many forms. Spray, lotion, gel-cream, powder; you name it and one brand probably has at least two versions of it. Unfortunately, the wide gamut of options means little to my memory, because I still manage to forget applying sunscreen to my face or body every other day. (I know I’m not the only one.) And if you also have sensitive skin, remembering to apply SPF is only half the battle. There is also the challenge of discovering products that are made without potentially harmful additives that could cause flare-ups, allergic reactions, and more. I’ve done my fair share of research, review reading, and swatching to find some top-notch hair, skin, and makeup options that not only help shield the skin from UVA and UVB rays but provide coverage and moisture too. Ahead are just 11 of them to add to your shopping list.

Drunk Elephant.

Drunk Elephant Umbra Sheer Physical Daily Defense SPF 30

A sheer, chemical-free sunscreen free of fragrance and essential oils and chock full of antioxidants to provide moisture and anti-aging benefits.

Buy: Drunk Elephant Umbra Sheer Physical Daily Defense SPF 30 $34

Physicians Formula.

Physicians Formula Natural Defense Protect Your Prime Oil SPF 15

An alcohol-free, fast-absorbing face oil made with an exclusive complex that defends the skin against sunlight, pollution, and blue light.

Buy: Physicians Formula Natural Defense Protect Your Prime Oil SPF 15 $8.04

Coola.

Coola Classic Sunscreen Spray Fragrance-Free SPF 50

A water-resistant, ultra-fine sunscreen mist made without fragrance and infused with 70 percent organic ingredients including cucumber and algae.

Buy: Coola Classic Sunscreen Spray Fragrance-Free SPF 50 $20

Ilia.

Ilia Super Serum Skin Tint SPF 40

A squalane-based hybrid between a tinted moisturizer and foundation that helps the skin to seal in moisture (hyaluronic acid) and improve texture (niacinamide).

Sun Bum.

Sun Bum Sunscreen Scalp Spray SPF 30

A nourishing SPF mist made specifically for protecting the oft-forgotten scalp, no matter your hair type.

Babo Botanicals.

Babo Botanicals Daily Sheer Tinted Mineral Sunscreen SPF 30 Fragrance Free for Sensitive Skin

A moisturizing (and tinted) mineral sunscreen enriched with ingredients that moisturize, soothe, and brighten.

Buy: Babo Botanicals Daily Sheer Tinted Mineral Sunscreen SPF 30 Fragrance Free for Sensitive Skin $8.97

It Cosmetics.

It Cosmetics CC+ Cream with SPF 50+

A cult-favorite CC cream that color corrects, provides sun protection, and delivers multiple anti-aging ingredients into the skin.

Neutrogena.

Neutrogena Sensitive Skin Mineral Sunscreen Lotion SPF 60

A hypoallergenic and water-resistant mineral sunscreen made to protect sensitive skin without causing irritation.

Buy: Neutrogena Sensitive Skin Mineral Sunscreen Lotion SPF 60 $8.79

Aveeno.

Aveeno Positively Mineral Sensitive Skin Daily Sunscreen Lotion SPF 50

A TSA-friendly sunscreen made with naturally-sourced zinc oxide and soothing oat.

Buy: Aveeno Positively Mineral Sensitive Skin Daily Sunscreen Lotion SPF 50 $9.97

EltaMD.

EltaMD UV Clear Tinted Face Sunscreen Broad-Spectrum SPF 46

A dermatologist-recommended tinted moisturizer made with ingredients that target dark spots, acne, and rosacea.

Buy: EltaMD UV Clear Tinted Face Sunscreen Broad-Spectrum SPF 46 $30.40

bareMinerals.

bareMinerals ORIGINAL Foundation Broad Spectrum SPF 15

A fan favorite vegan powder foundation made without talc and other fillers that could irritate sensitive skin.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

The island of Okinawa in Japan is one of the longevity hot-spots of the world. That means it’s been identified as one of the five Blue Zones – areas where people live the longest and are the healthiest.

Several beautiful concepts that come from Japanese philosophy are life-enhancing. Some of them have become quite well known here in the West. As we age, it’s wonderful to learn new ideas that we can apply to our lives for further enhancement and well-being.

Let’s look at 3 such concepts.

Kintsugi: The Art of Golden Repair

Kin means gold and tsugi means to connect/join. When pottery is shattered, it is repaired with golden lacquer. The breaks are not disguised; rather, the fractures are highlighted with new beauty. There is a new appreciation as something broken is rebuilt, the new whole incorporating the shattered.

This is a wonderful teacher of resilience and rebuilding from loss and adversity in life. After going through pain or trauma, we don’t just throw our life away and call it quits. Rather, we rebuild – integrating the loss and pain and becoming able (with time and healing) to hold pain and joy together.

As we age, our mistakes, regrets, fault lines, scars, loss, and pain are all staring back at us. And there is beauty as well, as we know we’ve weathered many storms and have continued on, hopefully stronger and better. And if not, then we still have the chance to embrace our brokenness and rebuild and recreate something good with it.

We are the whole sum of all of our parts – broken and whole together in the tapestry of our life. It behooves us to make it as vibrant in color as possible.

Ikigai: Reason for Being

Iki means life and kai means worth/benefit. This is a very popular concept here in the West. It basically means our purpose in life, the benefit of our being here. And our purpose can change at different times in our lives and as we go through various life transitions, be they natural transitions or critical, painful adversities.

What are we doing here? What is our reason d’etre? What gets us up in the morning? During difficult times, what helps us put one foot in front of the other? As the German philosopher Nietzsche famously said, “He who has a Why to live can bear almost any How.”

When we connect with a purpose, and it can be a small one for something specific, we cope much better as well. For instance, I foster-raised a puppy for an organization that provides service dogs for people with disabilities.

After a couple of months, when the going got rough trying to adhere to the huge manual of instructions, I was ready to return him. In my ambivalence, I kept returning to the idea that I was doing this for a greater cause that had a lot of meaning for me and my family.

Staying connected to this thought and value enabled me to push through the hard times, and we successfully completed our 19 months of raising and training him. He actually went on to pass his tests and live out his mission – servicing a boy with cerebral palsy in another state.

A strong sense of purpose is found to be huge in living good lives. When we stay focused on what’s important to us, what truly matters, what we value, what we find fulfilling and meaningful, we increase our quality of life which improves our overall health. We are calmer, more engaged, find more joy in living, and the list goes on.

Shinrin Yoku: Forest Bathing

Shinrin means forest and yoku means bath – bathing in the full experience of the forest. It’s not exercising; it’s simply being in nature and allowing ourselves to be truly immersed in it without any other distractions, utilizing all of our senses.

We all know how relaxing it can be to be outside in a garden, in a park, by water; nature is restorative, healing, and nourishing. It’s also expansive and provides us with a larger perspective beyond ourselves.

It’s a form of nature therapy which has been researched to show that it reduces cortisol (stress hormone) levels, enhances mood (making it an antidote to depression), and is overall good for our health and wellbeing.

Spending time in the woods, standing amidst the hugeness of trees, is a gift we can all give ourselves. This is the natural beauty we’ve been bestowed. Life gives us lots of challenges and difficulties but this – nature therapy – is a salve of the soul.

What soothes your soul? How have you felt broken and then felt whole again, healed, and put back together albeit in a new way? What purpose do you wake up to? What provides you with meaning to carry on? Please share with our sisters and let’s have a conversation.

Ask anyone with short hair how they felt after that initial chop and they’ll probably say that cutting their hair was one of the best experiences of their life (so far). In some cases, a big chop is necessary to restart your hair’s health journey, and for others, it’s an instantly gratifying way to hit the reset button on one’s beauty routine or in a larger sense, on life. Besides the obvious edginess of a short hairstyle, specifically, a pixie, going short is easier said than done, especially if you’re going for layers or throwing a new color into the mix, too. This is where the best pixie cut wigs swoop in to save the day because they offer the opportunity to try on a short ‘do, minus the long-term commitment.

Maybe you want to test drive a style for the hell of it. Perhaps you’re considering a dramatic haircut. Or maybe you’re the kind of person who randomly switches up their look just because. Whatever the case, life is too short to put your mane goals on pause, so spice things up right now, even if it’s just a wig that looks like the style you’ve been contemplating. Read on to get the 411 on some of the best pixie cut wigs for every budget. 

Pobokix.

Pobokix Human Hair Pixie Cut Wig

One of the safest routes to take when shopping for a short wig is choosing one that requires no parting. This layered pixie is equipped with bangs to make the process of styling easier. Just trim the bangs to frame your face and you’re set.

Buy: Pobokix Human Hair Pixie Cut Wig $29.69

Flandi.

Flandi Synthetic Short Pixie Wig

If synthetic wigs aren’t normally your cup of tea, a short synthetic wig may change your mind. Due to the lack of friction between the hair and the nape of your neck, short synthetic wigs tend to last longer than their lengthy counterparts. Of course, this is perfect if you want to try out a short, affordable ‘do and get your money’s worth.

Buy: Flandi Synthetic Short Pixie Wig $19.99

Yviann.

Yviann Short Layered Pixie Wig

Of all the layered pixie wigs available on Amazon, this particular human hair version by Yviann is a fan favorite. Besides its affordable price tag, fans love that this wig looks fabulous straight out the box and, of course, can be customized.

Buy: Yviann Human Short Layered Pixie Human Wig $29.99

BeiSD.

BeiSD Synthetic Short Hair Wig with Bangs

As far as I’m concerned, platinum blonde hair looks best when styled into a short pixie. If you dare, this affordable option delivers twice the fun of your basic wig with a standout cut and vibrant color. 

Buy: BeiSD Short Hair Wigs with Bangs Synthetic Short $18.89

VCK.

VCK Short Layered Wavy Wig

If styling a short wig seems a bit intimidating to you, then this wig by VCK may be exactly what you’re looking for. With just a few minutes of finger styling, this wig will look as though it were professionally styled with little to no effort. 

Buy: VCK Short Layered Wavy Human Hair $30.57

Outre.

Outre Wigpop Synthetic Wig in style ‘Nola’

This sassy cut is short and simple at its best! Just one scroll through the customer gallery will show you that this unit looks amazing on so many face shapes. If you’re not sure where to start your search for a short wig, this is a great option for beginners. 

Shake-N-Go.

Shake-N-Go 100% Brazilian Human Hair Wig in style ‘Kani’

There’s something about small ringlets that breathes new life into a short cut. This particular wig by Shake-N-Go can be dyed, bleached and of course, curled, however your heart desires.

Zury Sis.

Zury Sis Revive 100% Human Hair Wig in style ‘Alia’

Just because you’re rocking short hair doesn’t mean you can’t throw a little texture into the mix. The fun thing about having curls and waves while rocking a short pixie, like this style from Zury Sis, is that it’s way less maintenance than a big Beyonce-esque curly wig. Welcome to the best of both worlds—texture and easy styling!

It’s A Cap Weave!.

It’s A Cap Weave! Human Hair Wig in style ‘Andi’

Besides blonde highlights, if there is one hair color that has summer written all over it, it would be red. Channel your inner Rihanna circa 2010 with this bold cut.

Bobbi Boss.

Bobbi Boss Synthetic Wig in style ‘Lita’

For those who dare to be different and stand out while rocking a short ‘do, an asymmetrical cut is a way to go. Lita by Bobbi Boss is like rocking two short fabulous hairstyles in one. FYI, this wig is available in a few fun colors if you’re looking to add even more personality to the hairstyle.

Sensationnel.

Sensationnel Synthetic Instant Fashion Wig in style ‘Dara’

Turn the world into your runway with this showstopping platinum blonde wig. The high volume at the top and low density at the sides makes for a style that people can’t keep their eyes off of.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

Report card day. Remember? Handwritten teacher notes, academic grades, effort grades, and even “deportment” grades.

Sitting at the kitchen table, our nightly tradition, Mom made one of our favorite casseroles. After our usual lively conversation about the day, we would get the “dreaded” invitation from our Dad, “Let’s have a look at your report cards.”

I say “dreaded” because that was my feeling about report card night. Not because I was ashamed of my B’s, C’s, and occasional A’s, but because my sisters always excelled.

One by one, we each produced our report cards. Dad looked at each of them with genuine interest and sincerely acknowledged each of us for subjects we did well in, while asking us how we could improve where knowledge was lacking.

Conversations That Change Lives

Never once did he compare us, but it was in those moments I told myself I wasn’t as smart as my sisters. But it was a different situation that changed my life forever.

As a high school freshman, after reviewing my PSAT results, my guidance counselor said, “You are probably not college material and should pursue another path.” That one comment fired me up and motivated me to thrive not only in college, but also in life!

From the moment we were born, our middle-class parents worked hard to save for college so our lives would be better than theirs. Mom’s “cash envelope budget system” for food, mortgage, and education visually messaged their dreams for their five children. How dare my guidance counselor tell me I wasn’t college material!

That afternoon, when I told Mom that story, she grabbed my arm, drove me back to school, burst into the guidance counselor’s office, unannounced, and said:

“How dare you tell my daughter she is not college material?! We’ve saved for all of our five children to go to college. She is going to college and she will excel!”

Ongoing Challenge and Inspiration

Having mom stand up for me in that way inspired me more than she probably ever realized. In life, whenever confronted with thoughts like “I’m not smart enough,” I would be reminded of Mom’s loving words of ire!

When one part of my brain is telling me “Impossible!” the other part of my brain says anything is possible if I want it badly enough.

I’m grateful for my sisters getting their straight A’s. They not only went on to become very successful but also inspired me to always do my best.

For the past 35 years, I’ve owned and operated a very successful interior design firm, designing projects all over the country, from Supreme Court Justice Chambers, to corporate penthouses, to elegant kitchens and tiny houses.

I’ve had the opportunity to make a difference in peoples’ lives through design and innovation. I found my passion, my niche, and have thrived in the areas I was naturally good at and felt most comfortable in.

A New Challenge: Getting Out of My Own Way

But I avoided areas that I was not good at and became reliant on others for those tasks, primarily when it came to technology. This freed me up to excel at what I did best and to move quickly and successfully through project after project.

Thus, my team operated like a well-oiled machine for many years… until Covid-19.Suddenly, we were asked to shutter our businesses, work from home, keep on doing what we had been doing for all of those years – and we had to adjust overnight!

I was challenged, confronted, and afraid. How could I possibly run my business this way when I’d depended on my employees to handle “all things tech”? I realized I would now have to do most of what I hadn’t felt capable of doing.

Here’s what Covid-19 did to me:

• It challenged me to WANT to learn something I never wanted to learn before.
• It made me retrain my brain to say, “I CAN do that thing I had been telling myself I couldn’t do.”
• It made me believe in myself.

Reframing the Story We Tell Ourselves

Why do I tell you this deeply personal story? Because, like me, many baby boomers have been telling themselves this exact same story for years:

• “I am not good at technology.”
• “I don’t know how.”
• “I’ll have someone else do it for me.”

In our defense, you may recall it was not normal for us to:

• Use a keyboard to write a letter or document. We handwrote them on letterhead or on a notepad.
• Use a phone to text message our clients or loved ones. We picked up the phone and called them instead.
• File our work or save documents in the cloud. We filed our important papers and documents in a file cabinet.

Many of these “die-hard habits” are still part of our DNA because that’s what we’re used to and what we are comfortable with.

But things have changed and will continue to change.

We no longer have a choice. It’s time for us to wake it up and shake it up. Covid-19 has forced us to get real about the digital age and our need to embrace technology – if we are to continue to grow and thrive.

A Brave New World (and Brave New You)

I hope my story will inspire other baby boomers who have been unwilling to confront their fear of technology and who are still saying, “I don’t know how.” Instead, add these simple words to that statement: “But I’m willing to learn.”

I’ve recently been asked to deliver a keynote address via Zoom to over 1,000 people… a speech I would have previously given in person, on stage, to a live audience. But, because of restrictions due to the pandemic, this keynote must be a pre-recorded video, edited and uploaded by me!

Am I confronted? Yes.

But I am also determined to figure it out – and nail it!

It took a pandemic to help me say yes to an opportunity that was right in front of me the whole time. It took a pandemic to help me see through my own barriers that prevented me from seeing what was possible. Nothing can stop me now!

How often do you catch yourself thinking “I can’t do this”? Do you really believe this to be true, or is it more of a self-fulfilling prophecy? What new and challenging thing have you accomplished because you crashed through your self-limiting beliefs and decided to learn? Please share your experiences with our community and let’s grow together.