Month: December 2020

Is Living with Pain Stopping You from Enjoying Life After 60?

getting older

Is living with pain a growing fear as you age? Is it part of your identity once you pass the 60 gate?

When I was 10 years old, a boy swung a shovel with a rusty corner at a bee. I had just stooped down to the ground to pick something up. When I stood up, the shovel’s rusty corner came straight down into the top of my head.

I was the pain. The pain was me. I was scared to death as a literal geyser of blood sprung out of my head, drenching my clothes.

My head felt like a hammer was pounding on it. Nothing existed except the pain that consumed me. You can probably relate to hurting your thumb or foot and it does not hurt too badly when you are busy doing things during the day. But when you lie down to go to sleep, the pain fills the room. You are consumed by it.

In my twenties, I trained in biofeedback to learn more about the mind/body connection, creating endorphins and relaxation skills. The adventure of entering into my own potential with the mind and body fascinated me. It was meant to be the catalyst for my personal journey into human potential.

A Surgery on the Horizon

At 65, four years ago, it was getting difficult to walk with my enlarged bunion on the right foot. Since it was necessary to succumb to surgery, I wanted to tap my mind/body resources and human potential.

The idea of walking into the surgery center with a feeling of dread was not appealing. After some research, it became obvious that setting a positive stage for surgery was optimal for successful results.

The day prior to surgery I felt the dread of it. Fun movies were lined up to watch during recovery. In addition, I planned to complete my self-help memoir, “The Grandma Boom Chronicles… More Alive at 65!” You know that sensation that arises when you don’t want to do something but there is no choice? That is what was pulling me down. I wanted to be up so I needed a plan.

Looking at Pain in a Positive Way

I had to do something outrageous to bring a positive surge and upliftment into my spirit. The intention was to create endorphins since they help reduce pain and create an internal environment that is soothing.

I realized it was my choice to either stick with the dread and have a normal morning before surgery or decide to do something I loved. And then it hit me. Why not try SUP, Stand Up Paddle boarding? The choice was obvious when I felt the upsurge of energy just thinking about SUP.

janai-pain-1

SUP always brings a feeling of freedom and joy. I feel strong when I get that kind of core exercise that also opens me to the heavens and keeps me grounded as I balance my body, becoming one with the movement of the water.

Post SUP I felt strong and happy before surgery. While out on the lake, I did not even think about the operation. It was an amazing way to prevent worry and dread. The endorphins started marching all over my body. I was smiling from head to toe.

When I arrived at the surgery center the receptionist looked at me with compassion and a caring voice, “Now, how are you doing?” You can imagine I responded with nothing less than the voice of a cheerleader: “I am fantastic, thank you! I just got in the best mood to prepare for surgery and I am happy.”

The receptionist looked dumbfounded. “And what was that?” Explaining my view about being positive before surgery and going SUP, she looked a bit puzzled until it dawned on her that I had made a choice to have success, feel good and take responsibility in the healing process.

For decades I had been helping others learn to manage stress. I knew that research has shown the more tension generated when one is in pain, the more pain and suffering is created. Being calm and at peace, healing occurs more quickly because circulation is improved. Tension blocks and slows circulation.

Refusing to Succumb to Pain

Patience is required for healing thoroughly, as well as learning the balance of keeping a certain level of activity while not pushing too hard too fast. Expressing my creativity and formulating ways to keep a fun element in the healing process was essential for my spirit and personality.

Yes, pain was present. But I was not my pain. It was a part of me at that time and a catalyst to practice health building skills to manage it instead of pain being in control of me. I refused to succumb to the pain.

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I decided to have as much fun in my recovery process as possible. Each time I went for a doctor’s check-up and got a glowing report, I celebrated with my boot that I had worn for many weeks. Decorating it brought out the most of my enjoyment in the process and I felt rewarded as well as entertained. Being creative always moves energy in the upliftment direction.

Since the bunion surgery I’ve had total hip replacement surgery. One year post surgery I am doing everything I’ve ever done including swimming 20 laps several times weekly, hiking 2-3 miles regularly, dancing my buns off and playing with grandchildren.

For a brief demonstration of how to understand and work with pain healthily, check out this video with tips on pain control.

Do you focus on pain that is bothersome, or do you find ways to take your mind off it? Are you an active Googling enthusiast to seek out blogs, research, YouTube videos and helpful tips for the kind of pain you experience? What are your coping techniques for pain? Please share your suggestions for overcoming pain in the comments.

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Lisa Barlow’s Metallic Sequin Turtleneck

Lisa Barlow’s Metallic Sequin Turtleneck on Instagram

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Instagram Fashion 2020

Not only is Sagittarius season officially here (happy belated Lisa and Meredith!) but so is sequin season as made evident by Lisa Barlow’s metallic sequin turtleneck on Instagram. And although this time of year may not look exactly like it used to, that of course doesn’t mean that you can’t replicate this shimmering lewk for your next holiday party on Zoom with sweatpants.

 

Fashionably,

Faryn

 

Lisa Barlow's Lipstick Color

Click Here to Shop Her Jonathan Simkhai Top

Click Here to Shop Her Laura Mercier Lipstick in ‘Fuchsia Intense’

Photo & Lipstick Info: @LisaBarlow14

Originally posted at: Lisa Barlow’s Metallic Sequin Turtleneck

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Tayshia Adams’ Black Button Slit Dress

Tayshia Adams’ Black Button Slit Dress While Meeting Brendan’s Family

The Bachelorette Season 16 Episode 11 Fashion

When I saw that Tayshia Adams’ black button slit dress that she wore to meet Brendan’s family on last night’s episode of The Bachelorette was sold out, I knew that I had to track down some amazing Style Stealers in it’s place (and not just for you guys, but selfishly for myself since I’m obsessed with it). And now that I’ve narrowed it down to the final three just like T did with the guys on last night’s ep, all that’s left to do is decide which one will make the cut.

 

Fashionably,

Faryn

 

Tayshia Adams’ Black Button Slit Dress

Tayshia Adams’ Black Button Slit Dress

Click Here to See Her Sold Out Billabong Dress

Click Here to Shop Her Kurt Geiger Sandals in Black or Nude

Photo #1 & Info: @CaryFetman

Originally posted at: Tayshia Adams’ Black Button Slit Dress

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Feeling Stressed? Put Down the Cookie and Try Something New!

feeling stressed

When I am coaching clients around unwanted eating, we often discover stress as the reason. A lot of people are feeling stressed right now. Stress about the pandemic and their health, or the health of their loved ones.

Many feel stressed around the holidays: about not being with their family, or about being with their family. I’m sure you have your own list.

Stress Is Normal

First of all, stress is not the enemy. Too much on-going stress is not healthy, but it can be a useful emotion essential for our survival. Your basic stress response is trying to keep you alive and is a warning signal that something may be wrong or dangerous.

Our instinctive reaction is to try to get rid of the stress as quickly as possible. This reaction has caused many of us to create unwanted habits. A drink or a snack often eases the stress temporarily. It soothes and distracts us in the moment. Each time we get that temporary relief we strengthen the habit.

What Can We Do About Stress Instead?

You might expect me to start giving you other, more healthy distractions to temporarily reduce your feelings of stress. I do love deep breathing, walks, and warm baths myself. But that is not what we are doing today.

Those type of distractions can be helpful, but they don’t always work. Today we are discussing the skill of reducing your desire to get rid of the feelings of stress. Wait, what?

Making Friends with Stress

Maybe the concept of ‘being friends with stress’ is a stretch for you. How about co-existing with stress? Let’s look at co-existing with stress like co-existing with an annoying neighbor.

Imagine thinking, “Oh hey, here you are again, annoying neighbor, okay. I’m really not going to engage with you, I know I can’t get rid of you, so let’s co-exist as best we can.”

Let’s continue to explore the irritating neighbor analogy. Picture yourself outside, working in your yard, and your very annoying neighbor comes over and starts talking about his stamp collection, and you just want to keep planting your flowers.

Of course, you could scream at him, “Stop talking!” You could run inside, faking an emergency and quit doing what you really want to do. Or you could just keep planting and let your neighbor babble on. It is, what it is. Nothing has gone wrong, this is part of the deal, living on this street.

Now, imagine yourself accepting stress as part of life, we don’t love it, we are glad when it is not around. But when it shows up, we could just say, “Hey there, I knew you would be back, I’m not going to do anything about you, I’m just going to keep planting my flowers.”

Why Do This?

I do work with my clients to reduce and eliminate stress by exploring the root causes, but we all seem to create new stress for ourselves on a regular basis. It is important to know how to have stressful feelings without running for a snack or drink to get rid of them.

Stress on Top of Stress

Sometimes we think that things have gone terribly wrong when stress appears. We add anxiety on top of our stress when we think, “I shouldn’t be stressed, why is this happening?” By simply acknowledging that stress is a perfectly normal feeling that happens to everyone, we can avoid intensifying it.

Know this

I want you to know that nothing is wrong with you if you have stressful feelings and can’t always get rid of them. You can feel stress and do nothing about it.

Learning to accept feelings of stress and anxiety, without fighting them, is a valuable skill that can keep us from turning to food or drinks to soothe ourselves.

If you would like more help to work through your stressful feelings, download my Stress Worksheet.

What do you do when you have feelings of stress? Do you think something is wrong with you when you feel stressed? Can you imagine letting those feeling be there without trying to get rid of them?

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Tayshia Adams’ White Tank and Denim Skirt Dress

Tayshia Adams’ White Tank and Denim Skirt Dress With Ivan

The Bachelorette Season 16 Episode 11 Fashion

As it turns out Tayshia Adams’ outfit that she wore on the one-on-one portion of her “hometown” date with Ivan on last night’s episode of The Bachelorette is actually an amazing two-in-one hybrid dress (and not a white tank and denim skirt like I and I’m sure 99 100% of you originally thought). And therefore the perfect choice for those of us who due to quarantine have completely forgotten how to put outfits together and want to enter 2021 with a true bang Wang.

 

Fashionably,

Faryn

 

Tayshia Adams’ White Tank and Denim Skirt Dress

Click Here to Shop Her AlexanderWang.T Dress on Sale

Click Here to See Her Sold Out Alexandre Birman Sandals

Originally posted at: Tayshia Adams’ White Tank and Denim Skirt Dress

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