The holiday lights are shining, Christmas trees are on display, the carols are playing, and presents are wrapped. Many people look forward to the festivities like no other, and the anticipation is as heartwarming as the actual holidays.

But for others, the approaching holiday season brings a gut-wrenching dread. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, the limitations of the pandemic, family difficulties, or a scary diagnosis, the holiday season can amplify the losses. It isn’t the life we planned, and it certainly isn’t merry and bright.

Yet other people have expectations of us. There are parties planned, traditions to be repeated, and gifts to be opened. How best to be real about our feelings and take care of ourselves in the middle of the frenzy?

Creating a solid plan for navigating the season is time well spent. Here are five tips that may help alleviate the dread and curb the uncertainty.

Have Realistic Expectations

The holidays can be tough, especially for those grieving any kind of loss. In the first year, we don’t know what to expect. In year two and beyond, we expect ourselves to be “better,” (and others do, too).

My experience is that every holiday – national and religious – carries memories and traditions, and this is true year after year. As time goes on, we figure out what works best for us.

Often people ask if it gets easier. My experience is that it gets different over time and becomes something more manageable.

Expect there will be moments of happiness and sadness and that you may need time alone. Trust that you will do your best to navigate the moments as they come. Know that it will be messy and accept that that is okay.

Make Time to Feel the Feelings

If you plan to gather with family or friends, also carve out time to feel the difficult feelings that you’ll likely experience. This past Thanksgiving, my 9^th Thanksgiving without my husband, I made time for a long walk.

As I walked, I felt the feelings, I ached for what was, I honored the pain that comes with great loss. I let it be there, and I experienced it fully. Later, when I was with a small group of family, I was more able to be present in the moments because I was not trying to sweep the difficult emotions under the rug.

Be Alert to People-Pleasing Habits

If you are a people pleaser, you will very likely want to make everyone happy during the holidays. Well-intended family and friends want you to “feel better” or “move on,” or at least look like you’re having fun.

If ever there was a time to put yourself on top of your priority list, it is now. What do you need during the holidays? What is best for you?

Make Decisions and Like Your Reasons

People who are grieving can struggle with decision making, and the holiday season presents yet another set of decisions to make. Will you attend in person? Spend the weekend? Host everyone at your house? Cook a full meal?

Keeping in mind your needs from tip #3, make your decision. There are no right or wrong decisions – only the decisions you make. Make a list of all the reasons for your decision. The trick to decision making is liking all your reasons.

Have Your Own Back

Having your own back means confidently standing by your decisions, no matter how others might feel. By having realistic expectations, setting aside time to feel, and banishing people pleasing, you have set yourself up to make the right decision for you.

You are looking out for yourself and your needs, and you like your reasons. Now it’s time to stand behind your decision, no matter what others think. It isn’t up for debate. “I’ve given it careful thought, and this is what feels right for me this year,” is a sentence worth rehearsing.

Are you dreading the holidays this year? If so, why? How much do the expectations of others influence your plans? In what ways have you had your own back?

Recently, I came across the phrase “Rule of Threes.” It refers to the relative importance of water, oxygen, and food to our survival. While not a hard-and-fast rule, it says that the average person can go three weeks without food, three days without water, and only three minutes without oxygen.

Of course, the shorter life duration for oxygen is because our cells need oxygen 24/7 to make the energy they need to function. Without oxygen, they would quickly die (taking us along with them).

Since we can’t store oxygen in the same way we can store nutrients, our bodies have what I like to call “fail safe” responses to ensure we get the oxygen we need. To experience first-hand how this works, just hold your breath for a while.

Unless you are a champion free diver, you will involuntarily take a breath within seconds – no matter how hard you may try not to. This is also why you may even wake yourself up from your sleep if your body isn’t getting the oxygen it needs (this is a sign of sleep apnea, a serious medical condition).

What Do We Need Oxygen for?

While we clearly need oxygen to live, it turns out oxygen also brings a wide variety of health benefits, many of which are especially important to boomers. These include:

• Helping the immune system protect us from pathogens and pollutants by detoxifying our blood, killing various bacteria, displacing free radicals, and neutralizing toxins.
• Enhancing the body’s ability to absorb and use nutrients such as vitamins and minerals, which becomes increasingly important as we age.
• Promoting heart and cardiovascular system health by lowering resting hearth rate and strengthening the heart muscle, which can reduce our risk of heart attack.
• Making it easier for our bones to heal and mend, which is especially important to us as boomer women who may be predisposed to osteoporosis and fall risks.
• Maintaining mental alertness, including concentration, memory, and the ability to learn, which can be impacted by oxygen levels.
• Reducing fatigue, which has been linked to lower oxygen levels.

What Affects Oxygen’s Concentration?

In addition to getting older, there are some environmental and physical conditions that can contribute to less than optimal oxygen circulating in our blood. Some of these are:

• Living at a high altitude, where there is less oxygen available to breathe
• Air pollution and contaminants
• COPD, sleep apnea, asthma, and other lung or cardiovascular diseases
• Sharing enclosed rooms with minimal air circulation
• Being obese
• Taking certain medications, such as painkillers
• Anemia
• Smoking

Are You Getting Enough Oxygen?

If you are not getting enough oxygen, you may experience a variety of symptoms such as shortness of breath, dizziness, rapid breathing, headache (this is very common when you first arrive at a higher altitude), insomnia (also very common when traveling to higher altitudes), increased blood pressure, and a rapid heartbeat.

You should go to the ER if you travel to higher elevations and experience severe shortness of breath with a cough, fluid retention, and a rapid heartbeat. If you find yourself being winded even after light exertion, be sure to talk with a competent health care provider.

The average person has a blood oxygen saturation level of between 97 and 100 percent. As we get older, it is normal for this oxygen saturation level to drop to where people over 70 years of age may have oxygen saturation levels of around 95 percent. This is definitely lower that a younger person’s, but it is generally acceptable.

How to Measure Oxygen Levels in Your Blood

Measuring your blood oxygen levels can be readily done with a small device that clips to the tip of your finger or to your ear lobe. Known as pulse oximeter, the device uses small beams of light to measure how much oxygen is in your blood. You can purchase it in pharmacies and online.

This device is usually prescribed by your doctor because you have lung disease, heart disease, anemia, or another condition that could impact your blood oxygen level, such as Covid-19 disease.

If a more precise measurement is ever needed, for example in a critical care or emergency setting, medical professionals may draw blood to do a direct measurement of its oxygen saturation level.

If you are experiencing what you believe to be symptoms of low oxygen blood levels, talk with a competent heath care practitioner before self-diagnosing or starting any type of self-care regimen. Depending on your actual oxygen levels, and the cause of any low levels, supplemental oxygen may be indicated.

How to Increase Your Oxygen Levels?

If you would like to help your body increase its ability to more effectively absorb and use what it gets from breathing, there are some lifestyle and dietary changes you may want to incorporate into your daily routine.

When It Comes to Lifestyle

From a lifestyle perspective, be sure to include cardio exercise to help keep your cardiovascular system (including your lungs) in good shape. Even walking 20 minutes a day will give you some benefit, and you’ll get even more if it is a brisk walk.

And if you can do your walk outside, versus inside at a mall or gym, for example, that is even better since fresh air will help you get more oxygen.

Other activities that can help increase oxygen levels are yoga and meditation, which help you focus on and be mindful of your breathing. And don’t overlook having green indoor plants – in addition to filling your home with oxygen, taking care of them is an excellent way to relax.

What You Can Do Nutrition-Wise

From a dietary perspective, start with making sure you are drinking enough water.This will help your lungs better absorb oxygen from the air you inhale and expel carbon dioxide and other toxins as you exhale.

Be sure to include iron-rich foods in your diet.Some are meat, beef liver, chicken, chickpeas, kidney beans, oysters, fortified grains like cereals and breads, tofu, dark chocolate, spinach, tomatoes, lentils, tofu, cashews, tuna, turkey, broccoli, raisins, and potatoes.

You should also talk with your health care provider about taking a nutrient test to make sure you are getting enough vitamin B12.This vitamin plays a key role in the production of red blood cells (these cells carry oxygen throughout your body).

Vitamin B12can be found in animal foods such as eggs, poultry, fish, milk, and red meat. Since many of us who are over 60 often have problems absorbing vitamin B12 from food, we may need to take a supplement.

Have you ever had symptoms of low oxygen? If so, did you speak with a health care professional about it? What did they recommend? What do you do to help make sure your body gets the oxygen it needs? Do you have indoor plants? Do you have a pulse oximeter at home? Why did you get it? Has it been helpful? Please join the conversation.

Hailey Bieber is basically our BFF, she just doesn’t know it. We love when she gives us the real deal on all any and all skin troubles, especially acne. So when we saw Bieber wearing Starface Hydro-Stars pimple stickers on Instagram Stories, we knew we weren’t the only ones dealing with some pandemic breakouts. We’re going to be wearing masks at least until summer (probably) so it’s good to know how to heal any pimple that pops up. Acne patches are a great way to do just that.

One of the best things about wearing face masks is being able to hide a pimple patch. You’re healing your skin and protecting your community at the same time and you really can’t go wrong with that. And no one knows! It’s a secret! But it doesn’t have to be. Starface’s pimple patches are made to be worn IRL and show off because everyone gets pimples. Even Hailey Bieber.

Instagram.com/haileybieber.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Starface.

In addition to being cute, Hydro-Stars help suck the oils and sebum out of a pimple when worn for about four hours. They’re made from hydrocolloid, a gel that draws out the fluids. Like others also made from hydrocolloid, they work best on “mature” pimples, ones with a head that’s come to the surface. They’re not going to do much for a cyst under the skin except keep you from picking at it—which is important too. (For the first sign of a pimple, try Zitsticka Killa Kit.)

And when you run out of stars, fill your Hydro-Stars kit with the brand’s painfully cute collab with Sanrio. Yes, these are Hello Kitty pimple patches and they’re everything.

Target.

Someone get these to Bieber—STAT.

Those with curly hair know the deal. Whether you have 2C waves or 4C coiles, you know how badly hats can damage your curls. Baseball caps, winter beanies—they all smash the curl pattern, sometimes even until you can wash it again. But there are options! ICYMI, there are hats for curly hair that will protect your strands and/or let them flourish while still getting the look of a full cap. Confused? Allow us to explain.

You have a few choices when it comes to hats made for curly hair. You can choose a cap or beanie that has a fully open back or top to allow your curls to stick out. This way, you get the look and/or the warmth but your curls aren’t smashed at all. There are also full hat varieties that are lined with silk. Just like you sleep on a silk pillowcase and wrap your hair in a silk bonnet, the inside of this beanie will help keep your hair frizz- and breakage-free. It’s pretty much genius.

Peep some of our favorite styles, below. One was even in Oprah’s Favorite Things and she knows curls.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Beira.

Beira 2 Pack Backless Ponytail Hat

It might look a little silly but hear us out. When you pull your curls into the back of this cap, you won’t be able to tell it’s basically half a hat. No more smushed strands!

Buy: Ponytail Hat $16.99

Etsy.

Tazzlyfe Maya Satin Lined Beanie Cap

This handmade beanie comes in a variety of different colors all with the top open to let your curls pop through. Even better, you can choose silk lining to protect your fragile strands. Your ears are warm but your hair still looks great.

Etsy.

BreezyTee Satin Lined Beanie Black

Or choose a full satin-lined beanie that will tuck all your hair safely thanks to its slouch fit.

CurlCap.

CurlCap Natural Hair Backless Cap

CurlCap is known for its stylish hats with an elastic strap in the back to custom-fit to your head. The brand even has new leather and faux fur varieties perfect for fall and winter.

Buy: Natural Hair Backless Cap $20

Grace Eleyae.

Grace Eleyae Dark Gray Foldover Warm Slap

Ever since Grace Eleyae’s silk-lined beanies were in Oprah’s Favorite Things 2020, almost all the colors have been sold out. Pick up this gray cold-weather hat while you still can! Though your hair will be hidden, the inside silk will keep it frizz-free.

With their many twists and turns, the thought of trying to figure out Social Security policies can make your head spin. Myths abound about Social Security. Unfortunately, many people believe them.

Sadly, these myths can cost you big time.

Social Security Myth #1 – The “Maximum” Is the Highest Payment You Can Get

The Social Security “maximum” ($2,687) is the highest payment you can get at “Full Retirement Age.” The actual top payment you can receive is at age 70.

Full Retirement Age (FRA) is when the Social Security Administration deems you eligible for your “full” benefit. If you apply earlier, your payment is reduced, but if you apply later, your payment will increase. The Full Retirement Age used to be 65 for everybody. Now it depends on the year you were born.

Delayed Retirement Credits Boost Your Payment

For each year you wait after your Full Retirement Age, your payment amount is permanently increased by 8%.

Waiting until age 70 can increase your monthly payment up to 32%. The maximum amount for Social Security is listed at $2,687, but that’s at your Full Retirement Age. You can increase your payment 32% and get the true maximum of $3,576 at age 70.

Waiting Until 70 Is Best

While waiting until age 70 will give you the highest payment, it is not the best choice for everyone. To know what’s best for you, you need to know that it’s an option. Many people don’t.

My hairdresser, Susan, was surprised when I told her she wasn’t getting as much as she could. A Social Security agent told her she would get the maximum at 66. In Social Security terms, that is true. She is getting the maximum, but it is not the highest payment she was eligible to receive. Had she waited until 70, Susan could have gotten about $600 more per month.

If she lived until 85, that increase would have amounted to over $100,000 more in lifetime benefits.

Social Security Myth #2 – If You Work, You’ll Lose Your Social Security

Many retirees claim that having a good social life is the key to happiness as you grow older. Having a job is an excellent way to meet people and stay active and engaged.

When I suggest to seniors that they get a job, I often hear them say they can’t work because they’ll lose their Social Security. This is a common myth, and it is holding many seniors back from earning money, as well as meeting more people and enjoying life more.

If you are over your Full Retirement Age, you can earn as much as you want or are able. It does not affect your Social Security payment whatsoever.

There is no penalty for working, and you will receive your full Social Security payment if you are over 66. If you are between 62 and your Full Retirement Age, you can earn up to $16,920 per year without your payment being affected. Many part-time jobs pay less than that.

If you earn more than $16,920, you are subject to a penalty of $1 for every $2 you earn over the limit. Your Social Security payment may be withheld sometime in the future until the penalty is satisfied.

Whether or not you plan to work is a major consideration in deciding when to start collecting Social Security. If you know you are going to earn a good deal over the limit, you may want to wait until a more financially advantageous time.

Social Security Myth #3 – Your Monthly Payment Is Based on Your Earnings at the Time You Retire

Many people believe that your Social Security payment will be based on the amount you are earning when you retire, but that is not the case. Your Social Security monthly payment amount is based on your 35 highest earning years.

To calculate your benefit, Social Security takes your 35 highest earning years, converts them to today’s dollars, enters those figures into a formula and comes up with your monthly payment amount.

What you have earned over your working lifetime determines what your monthly payment will be. You do not have to try and beef up your earnings in the last few years before you retire.

You can get a copy of your earnings record by going to this website. You’ll be able to see everything you’ve earned and all of the payments made on your behalf. You can also use the benefit estimator, which will let you know approximately how much your monthly payments will be at different ages.

My Experience

When I was 58, I got concerned. I didn’t know how Social Security worked, when I could begin collecting, or how much my payments would be.

How would I survive?

It was time for me to learn my Social Security options so I could make the right choices.

I researched online through websites and articles and in books. There was a lot of confusing and conflicting information. I collected mountains of paper. I wore myself out. Until one day I thought wouldn’t it be nice if all of this information were in one place in simple, easy-to-understand language.

I became a writer that day. My current book, The New Retirement Basics, is simple, concise, and easy-to-understand. It gives you all you need to know to navigate the basics of Social Security under one cover.

Social Security can be challenging and intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. The more you know, the more you will be able to make good, educated decisions. With the right information, you’ll keep busting those myths and get what you are entitled to.

Do you have any Social Security policies you are confused about? Have you had an experience where you didn’t get the right information? Have you figured out your payment amount and the best choice for you? We look forward to hearing your comments and questions.