Month: January 2021

It Happens to All of Us, But Most of Us Don’t Plan for It

planning for crises

What are the odds of getting hit by a bus? 1 in 495,000. Not happening to me, right? But what are the odds that you’re going to die someday? Exactly. Yet only 40% of us put any documents in place about what we want to happen when we die. I always say this topic is about WHEN not IF something happens… not a pleasant thought, but 100% true.

Why Do We Procrastinate?

I have finally figured out, after 20 years of talking to people about the most procrastinated area of financial planning (estate planning), why it is such a hard topic.

It’s because it forces us to think about all six of the most common fears: death, old age, loss, poor health, running out of money, and criticism (for not taking action on the other fears!). Who willingly wants to do that?

Why Is This So Important?

Since women tend to outlive men, we have an even more pressing reason to be the one that makes sure things are in order. After all, it’s most likely we will be the one picking up the pieces and transitioning, alone.

I remember hearing years ago about research that found married men lived longer than single men. I chided my husband that it must be due to the “happiness factor.”

Later, I found out that it is due to the wife helping the husband (he may consider it nagging) to live more healthfully, i.e., eat better, exercise more, take less risky behaviors, etc. So, now we need to take our own advice and help ourselves to make sure we are financially healthy too.

Tying up what may feel like detailed, and often overlooked, loose ends in life can be hugely important in the event of an unexpected crisis. If Covid-19 has taught us something, it is that an unexpected crisis can happen at any time. So, why not get a handle on the inevitable decisions that just about everyone will need to make at some point?

How Do I Go About It?

I recently interviewed Abby Schneiderman on my podcastfor some specific tips from her new book, In Case You Get Hit by a Bus: How to Organize Your Life Now for When You’re Not Around Later. The unexpected loss of her brother was the tipping point in her life that partially led to her current line of work of being a life and legacy planning expert.

I found the book to do an especially helpful job not only of breaking down the detail of what can be needed during seemingly daunting circumstances, but also of explaining in layperson’s terms what all of the documents within an estate plan actually do.

What Tools Are Available?

Abby also helped to start Everplans. It provides a digital way to keep track of not only your documents, but your wishes for various aspects in later life. People can use it directly or advisors can offer it as part of their services (which I do at no cost).

It helps you think about your passwords, a list of assets, future care plans, funeral wishes, etc. Not everyone is comfortable with digital storage, which is part of the reason I wrote a checklist book as an option to help those of us who may be more paper oriented.

Currently, and for the past several years, I volunteer as a guest presenter at New Adventures in Learning in Sun Lakes, Arizona. It’s a wonderful lifelong learning program for retirees, and my classes are always around getting financially organized.

To take the overwhelm out of anything, most of us prefer to “just cut to the chase and tell me what to do.” So, I incorporate individual checklists to help build better habits, one step at a time.

We Learn from Each Other

At the end of those classes, I often have participants show me a binder, a folder, or some format they use that works best for them to get financially organized. It was in one of those classes that I first heard about a “To Go” folder.

Several attendees shared how they decided to keep a copy of their Advanced Directives for Health Care, a list of their medications/doctors, names/contact information in case of emergency, etc. in a To Go folder, so they can bring it with them when they travel (driving, flying, etc.). All these are options that will help you plan for unexpected future events.

Breaking It Down

As I help new widows each year (including both my mother and mother-in-law this past year), I am reminded each time how significantly helpful it is to have an asset list available after a loss. This net worth list becomes the master checklistbecause it’s a blueprint of what there is and what may need to be acted on after someone is gone.

It also takes a lot of pressure off of an already stressful and emotional situation to not have to already have that list compiled. This type of list is also helpful now as you make financial decisions to be able to see at a glance, in one place, the big picture of your financial life.

Now, let’s begin to create better financial habits so you can take control of life’s practical details. To help you identify manageable chunks of time, you may find my 2021 habit builder checklist to be just what you need.

I am a true believer that an organized life is not only easier to live now, but it also allows you to leave behind a gift that your family doesn’t even know they need.

Have you lost a parent, sibling, or spouse? Anything in your experience that could help our community to know? Let’s have a discussion.

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Bath & Body Works’ Valentine’s Day ‘Bake Shop’ Is Now Open with 15 New Fragrance Treats

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that it’s best to gift yourself even if you’re partnered up. Sure, your S.O. might get you a necklace or new perfume but there’s nothing wrong with grabbing what you really want: Bath & Body Works’ Valentine’s Day goods. As usual, the retailer is going all out for the romantic holiday with fragrance mists, shower gel, body lotion, body cream, body wash, bath foam, lip scrub, hand soap and 3-wick candles in 15 new fragrances. Phew! We told you it was a lot.

The collection is sugary sweet with scents like Coconut Cream Pie and Strawberry Pound Cake. The packaging is seriously cute, as expected from Bath & Body Works, in shades of red, pink and gold. Pick up a few for yourself (you deserve a night of self-care!) and grab some for your friends, work wife and mom. There’s so much to choose from, with even more fragrances online than you can find in the store.

Shop a few of our favorites below and visit Bath & Body Works for the rest of the Valentine’s Day goodies.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Bath & Body Works Pineapple Pancakes 3-Wick

Bath & Body Works.

Raspberry Jam Donut Shower Gel

With scents of wild raspberry jam, powdered sugar and donuts.

Bath & Body Works. candle

Bath & Body Works.

Pineapple Pancakes 3-Wick Candle

With pineapple, pancakes, banana, and brown sugar essential oils.

Bath & Body Works. body cream

Bath & Body Works.

Coconut Cream Pie Ultra Shea Body Cream

With scents of toasted coconut flakes, caramel custard and pie crust.

Bath & Body Works. body lotion

Bath & Body Works.

Chocolate Covered Cherry Super Smooth Body Lotion

With scents of milk chocolate, cherries and sweet liqueur.

Bath & Body Works 3 wick candle

Bath & Body Works.

Bubble Rosé 3-Wick Candle

With rosé, blood orange and cranberry juice with essential oils.

STYLECASTER | Ashley Benson Interview

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Shannon Beador’s Season 15 Reunion Dress

Shannon Beador’s Season 15 Reunion Dress

Real Housewives of Orange County Season 15 Reunion Fashion

Groovy baby! Considering the past year has been rough to say the least, Shannon Beador decided to take us back to a much better time in history with her RHOC Season 15 reunion lewk — the sixties. But then again that was a time before Spanx was invented, so like Shannon would agree we’d still much prefer to rock this white sequined number in 2021.

 

Fashionably,

Faryn

 

Shannon Beador’s Season 15 Reunion Dress

Click Here to Shop Her Halpern Dress

Photo: @ShannonBeador

Originally posted at: Shannon Beador’s Season 15 Reunion Dress

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Bath & Body Works’ Valentine’s Day ‘Bake Shop’ Is Now Open with 15 New Fragrance Treats

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that it’s best to gift yourself even if you’re partnered up. Sure, your S.O. might get you a necklace or new perfume but there’s nothing wrong with grabbing what you really want: Bath & Body Works’ Valentine’s Day goods. As usual, the retailer is going all out for the romantic holiday with fragrance mists, shower gel, body lotion, body cream, body wash, bath foam, lip scrub, hand soap and 3-wick candles in 15 new fragrances. Phew! We told you it was a lot.

The collection is sugary sweet with scents like Coconut Cream Pie and Strawberry Pound Cake. The packaging is seriously cute, as expected from Bath & Body Works, in shades of red, pink and gold. Pick up a few for yourself (you deserve a night of self-care!) and grab some for your friends, work wife and mom. There’s so much to choose from, with even more fragrances online than you can find in the store.

Shop a few of our favorites below and visit Bath & Body Works for the rest of the Valentine’s Day goodies.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Bath & Body Works Pineapple Pancakes 3-Wick

Bath & Body Works.

Raspberry Jam Donut Shower Gel

With scents of wild raspberry jam, powdered sugar and donuts.

Bath & Body Works. candle

Bath & Body Works.

Pineapple Pancakes 3-Wick Candle

With pineapple, pancakes, banana, and brown sugar essential oils.

Bath & Body Works. body cream

Bath & Body Works.

Coconut Cream Pie Ultra Shea Body Cream

With scents of toasted coconut flakes, caramel custard and pie crust.

Bath & Body Works. body lotion

Bath & Body Works.

Chocolate Covered Cherry Super Smooth Body Lotion

With scents of milk chocolate, cherries and sweet liqueur.

Bath & Body Works 3 wick candle

Bath & Body Works.

Bubble Rosé 3-Wick Candle

With rosé, blood orange and cranberry juice with essential oils.

STYLECASTER | Ashley Benson Interview

Read More

Why It’s Important That We Set the Example

senior woman setting example

“I’m showing this to my daughters!” A commenter left this message on a story that I had written about setting a goal for myself to successfully complete 120 pushups – the standard full-plank type – on my 68th birthday.

I did it. That was yesterday morning. I wrote a story about it, posted it, and didn’t expect much.

In fact, I got a lot of feedback, of which this young father’s was the most moving.

My article is NOT about teaching yourself to do pushups. I blog on fitness after 50, and since I do adventure travel, upper body strength isn’t an option. It has at times saved my life.

Being a military veteran and farm girl, I am no stranger to physical labor. That’s not true of everyone, nor do I believe that goals that work for me are going to work for you or anyone else.

Setting the Example

What I will say is that you and I, as elder women, silver sisters, set the example. The example we set teaches our kids and our kids’ kids how to live late in life. To my mind, it’s an enormous and unbelievable responsibility which offers all kinds of opportunities for us to grow into the wise women we were always meant to be.

But it takes work.

If you can eschew, as do I, the ridiculous notion that we have to look incredibly young or be model thin or any of the other largely unreachable standards that are unfair to all of us at any age, you will open the door to the grace, gravitas, humor, and happiness by which we can live well.

That doesn’t take being Jane Goodall or Maya Angelou. It simply means that you and I carve out a unique way of being that works for us, for which we are unapologetic. I assume that nobody gets hurt by that lifestyle. However, the overarching point is to live life with gusto, whatever that means for you.

To wit:

One dear friend of mine, a Berkeley PhD, learned to ride Harleys in her late 50s. My kinda woman.

Another friend who is also on this platform is a rescue diver and pilot, both of which she earned at 68. My kinda woman.

Your kinda woman might have taken up painting. Or dance. Perhaps she rescues animals or massages horses. Or she works tirelessly to get out the vote. It makes no difference how we choose to express ourselves. It’s how inspired our lives are for ourselves and others. That’s the gift.

Are You a Torch-Bearer?

Until a few years ago, I had a mentor who was a lifelong athlete and serial entrepreneur. She died at 91, and up until the day she passed she worked out with a trainer several times a week, running (slowly) around a lake near her home in Boulder.

She was my example. I was honored to know her, and she knew – because I told her – that she had been my inspiration to start adventure travel at 60.

Meg died five years ago, and she handed me the torch. You and I hold that torch, especially once we pass 60. Even if it wobbles, even if we drop it once in a while, you and I are blazing a path to show younger generations how aging can be done well.

You certainly don’t have to. There is no pressure on you whatsoever to do anything.

However, and I can only speak for myself, the older women who inspired me fully expected me to pay it forward. Their investment in me is paying off not only in my life, but through the responsibility I feel to live as fully as I can until the day I am toes up.

Meg was the example for me that my mother wasn’t. I am today the woman my mother badly wanted to be but couldn’t. This is not a condemnation of her choices. It is more so to point out that we older women can end up being “mothers” to all kinds of people, and in doing so, influence and shape lives of great promise.

But first, our lives have to be full of that promise and action. It does NOT have to be some great world-wide achievement. Some of the most influential women in my world simply did incredible internal work, and their wisdom has been crucial in helping me grow as a person.

The journey doesn’t matter; what matters is whether you and I are doing something that a young parent wants his daughters to know about, for that will help shape their hopes for the future.

We Always Need Inspiration

You and I never stop needing inspiration. Whether it’s from someone like Margaret who, late in life, formed an online platform that now serves some half a million women over 60 worldwide, or a woman who, after her divorce, decides to walk across England or learn a new language so she can teach in Brazil.

Doesn’t matter. What matters is knowing that you and I are being watched. How well we live, how well we handle life’s tough spots, how well we manage our health and happiness, our relationships and ways of being can be seen as the guideposts for those coming behind us.

If you and I surround ourselves, even at this age, with people who inspire us, then we are more likely to become someone living an inspired life. Nobody says you have to. But I can most certainly tell you that you can and will change lives in ways you can’t possibly yet imagine.

For me, as I age towards 70, that is a bright horizon, an exciting future, and a lot to be grateful about.

Do you have someone who inspired you? How has your life been different as the result of an inspiring story or mentor? How did someone impact your young life in ways you now want to pay back?

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