Never did I expect that in 2021 we would see one of the biggest arguments on TikTok be between Gen Z and millennials over…the middle part vs the side part. Call it quarantine boredom or general unrest. Either way, the conversation around Gen Z and millennial trends is heating up, with Gen Z (those born after 1997) giving millennials (those born between 1981 and 1996) a hard time for their skinny jeans, “cringe-worthy” emoji use and side parts. Lets unpack this.

I’m not only a millennial but actually what’s called Gen Y.2, as in the second half of Gen Y, or millennials. This is commonly referred to as an elder or old millennial. I had AIM, a pink Motorolla Sidekick phone and I wore low-rise, flared jeans. All the Y2K trends teens are wearing all over TikTok? Yes, I wore them first. Do I care? No, not really.

I’m not upset that Gen Z thinks skinny jeans and side parts are lame. They should. The younger generation isn’t supposed to think the older one is “cool.” I thought girls older than me dressed terrible too when I was a teen in the early 2000s. That’s how it’s supposed to be.

Don’t hate me for this but those saying that side parts and skinny jeans don’t feel fresh and on-trend are right. I switched up both of those because they started feeling stale. At first I felt so awkward with a side part and now I can’t remember not having one. There’s a reason I had a hard time finding a celebrity wearing a side part for the images in this story. They’ve all switched over to the middle. It’s a trend. But if you love both of these things, keep them! Why do you have to do what teens saying are trendy? You don’t. You’re a grown-up.

Sure, it can sting a little when Gen Z says our obsession for Harry Potter is cringe-y. Maybe putting your “house” in your Tinder bio is cringe-y. That’s okay! Own it. What is making me cringe is millennials going on TikTok upset that people don’t think they are “cool.” My question is: why do you care? Isn’t being in your 30s all about embracing who you are? And you have to admit, the teens pretending to be millennials on TikTok is pretty funny. They’re nailing it down to the “girl boss” hat.

Some may say “it’s not that deep” but really, it’s deeper. Many millennials, especially women, are traumatized by the early-2000s standards of beauty. When we were in high school, if you didn’t have hips are narrow as Paris Hilton’s or a stomach as flat as Jessica Alba’s, you felt like an outcast. This is the reason so many millennial women struggle with disordered eating and body image issues. The fashion trends catered to one body and that body was skinny.

That being said, it’s not like Gen Z is asking us all to bust out the low-rise flares and the bedazzled thongs. That’s not going to happen. We millennials have two choices. We can see how a middle part feels (I bet you’ll like it!) and try on a pair of straight-leg jeans. Or you can laugh at how much fun it is not being a teenager anymore and wear whatever the hell you want.

There is more to losing weight than simple calories in vs calories out. It is also more than finding out what foods work for you and what do not.

The number one important step that many of us do not pay attention to is our mindset. Here is a simple step by step analysis to help you discover if your mind is sabotaging your weight loss success and what you can do to stop it.

Imagine Yourself at Your Goal Weight

An interesting test you can do right now is to imagine yourself achieving your weight loss goal. It is a beautiful sunny day, and you may be dressed in your favorite outfit walking down the street. Imagine this and have a sense of what it feels like.

Are you attracting eye contact? How do you feel about people looking at you? Do you hold your head high or do you worry about others’ opinion?

Analyse Your Emotions

In today’s society, the bigger people get, the more invisible they appear. In your mental picture of reaching your goal weight, you are now highly visible.

If, in any way, you feel uncomfortable about members of the opposite sex catching your eye or other women looking at you approvingly or disapprovingly, then you will not be successful in losing weight.

Anything that makes you feel uneasy about your goal weight and being visible means that your chances of success in losing weight will be very slim. It is not going to happen. You will find ways to self-sabotage whatever program you follow.

Understand Why You Are Uneasy About Losing Weight

Think about your childhood. Were you raised in an environment where you were ridiculed when you played dress up. Perhaps you were constantly put down, made to feel worthless – or it was a sin to be proud about your appearance?

Does your husband or partner constantly make snide remarks when you try to look good? Or perhaps your best friend is overweight, and every time you lose a few pounds she will subtly make sure you do not lose weight, so you do not show her up!

Understand Your Internal Dialog

You may have had a rough upbringing, or you may have been an awkward teenager. Forget about the past. Move on and start being proud of yourself. Identify the thoughts that sabotage your weight loss efforts and work to stop and change them.

Maybe it’s your internal dialogue that has you feeling worthless. You need to consciously make them stop by saying ‘stop’ out loud. It might sound silly, but this simple action will break your chain of thought and allow you the opportunity to feel good about yourself and start putting yourself first.

Embarking on a healthy weight loss program should inspire you, energize you and make you feel proud of yourself. It also takes time and patience.

When you begin a weight loss process from a place of self-love and acceptance, you will be more likely to set realistic goals and enjoy the changes occurring in your body and mind.

When it comes to ideals of beauty and body image, we often hold ourselves to such high standards, it does us a disservice.

You deserve the same respect and compassion as anyone else so talk to yourself the same way you would talk to a friend when trying to comfort them or reassure them that they are beautiful and worthy.

This is your time to pamper yourself and be mindful. Remember to stand tall and know that you are loved and that you are worth loving.

Is there a time in your life which you remember for the intensity of an otherwise simple ‘offhand’ comment that has affected you for years? Now is the time to release these emotions and not let them have the hold they once had over you. Now is your time to step out and be your own woman.

If you would like to know more about this topic, as well as other topics particularly for women, then you may enjoy listening to the 2018 Menopause Weight Loss Summit. This is a free online summit helping women to find relief in their menopause years.

Many women 45+ can feel isolated and at a loss as they approach menopause. I help women navigate this uncharted territory with wisdom and understanding.

Do you have any thoughts that sabotage your weight loss efforts? Are you undertaking a weight loss program of any kind? Please tell us about your results and why you think you were able to achieve so little. Join the conversation!

Never did I expect that in 2021 we would see one of the biggest arguments on TikTok be between Gen Z and millennials over…the middle part vs the side part. Call it quarantine boredom or general unrest. Either way, the conversation around Gen Z and millennial trends is heating up, with Gen Z (those born after 1997) giving millennials (those born between 1981 and 1996) a hard time for their skinny jeans, “cringe-worthy” emoji use and side parts. Lets unpack this.

I’m not only a millennial but actually what’s called Gen Y.2, as in the second half of Gen Y, or millennials. This is commonly referred to as an elder or old millennial. I had AIM, a pink Motorolla Sidekick phone and I wore low-rise, flared jeans. All the Y2K trends teens are wearing all over TikTok? Yes, I wore them first. Do I care? No, not really.

I’m not upset that Gen Z thinks skinny jeans and side parts are lame. They should. The younger generation isn’t supposed to think the older one is “cool.” I thought girls older than me dressed terrible too when I was a teen in the early 2000s. That’s how it’s supposed to be.

Don’t hate me for this but those saying that side parts and skinny jeans don’t feel fresh and on-trend are right. I switched up both of those because they started feeling stale. At first I felt so awkward with a side part and now I can’t remember not having one. There’s a reason I had a hard time finding a celebrity wearing a side part for the images in this story. They’ve all switched over to the middle. It’s a trend. But if you love both of these things, keep them! Why do you have to do what teens saying are trendy? You don’t. You’re a grown-up.

Sure, it can sting a little when Gen Z says our obsession for Harry Potter is cringe-y. Maybe putting your “house” in your Tinder bio is cringe-y. That’s okay! Own it. What is making me cringe is millennials going on TikTok upset that people don’t think they are “cool.” My question is: why do you care? Isn’t being in your 30s all about embracing who you are? And you have to admit, the teens pretending to be millennials on TikTok is pretty funny. They’re nailing it down to the “girl boss” hat.

Some may say “it’s not that deep” but really, it’s deeper. Many millennials, especially women, are traumatized by the early-2000s standards of beauty. When we were in high school, if you didn’t have hips are narrow as Paris Hilton’s or a stomach as flat as Jessica Alba’s, you felt like an outcast. This is the reason so many millennial women struggle with disordered eating and body image issues. The fashion trends catered to one body and that body was skinny.

That being said, it’s not like Gen Z is asking us all to bust out the low-rise flares and the bedazzled thongs. That’s not going to happen. We millennials have two choices. We can see how a middle part feels (I bet you’ll like it!) and try on a pair of straight-leg jeans. Or you can laugh at how much fun it is not being a teenager anymore and wear whatever the hell you want.

Do you wear glasses? Even if you have had 20/20 vision your whole life, chances are that you may have eyesight issues as you get older and most probably need reading glasses. Or maybe you have been wearing prescription glasses forever. Join the club!

The search for the best eyeglass frames is a constant activity for me. I love switching up my look and typically purchase new frames every year or so. Usually, I gravitate towards the fashionable and bold frames. I don’t see myself going for the simple frames even as I get older. Don’t let anyone tell you that you should be wearing granny glasses because you are over 50. You do not!

Are you traditional or wild and trendy? Check out my list of best eyeglass frames for mature women – I’m sure you’ll find something to your liking.

Things to Consider When Purchasing Eyeglasses

The Shape of Your Face

Choosing frames that suit your face is important. You don’t want the glasses to overpower your face or features. Try on several pairs and ask for advice. I often take photos (selfies) that I send to my closest friends and family and know that I will get honest replies. I send them some A, B, C choices, and they tell me which ones they like best.

Your Lifestyle

How you live your life will determine what type of frames you need. Are you an active person that does regular sports? Do you travel a lot? If you tend to break, scratch, or lose your glasses frequently then look for robust frames (and maybe inexpensive ones if you have to replace them regularly).

Your Personality

Your personality will determine the style and color of your frames. Match your eyewear to your clothing style for a well-put-together look. Have several eyeglasses with different looks if you can afford them.

Your Budget

Everyone’s budget is different, and eyeglass frames vary from a few dollars to well into the several hundreds of dollars. Designer eyewear will tend to be pricier but oftentimes offer better quality.

Purpose

Will you be wearing them every day, all day? Or do you need them simply for reading or for seeing things up close? This will determine how comfortable they need to be and also how much you want to spend on them.

Best Eyeglass Frames for Older Women

Best Cat Eyeglass Frames

Cat-eye frames are trendy and can suit you if you dress fashionably and youthful. Otherwise, if you dress very conservatively, the cat-eye glasses can make you look older (think granny glasses).

Here are our favorites.

Ralph by Ralph Lauren

I love the soft cat-eye styling on these Ralph Lauren eyeglass frames. The gold touch accents add elegant texture and interest. Great if you regularly wear gold accessories.

Coach

These bottom-wired colorful cat-eye frames from Coach offer just the right amount of classic look and trend. I adore this color combo, and it is great if your closet is full of color.

Lydell Truffle Tortoise

I love the elegant and classic look of tortoise eyeglass frames. These go with everything, and the soft cat-eye effect is just perfect.

Amelia Elderflower Crystal

Transparent frames are very trendy now, and I feel that this look is perfect for older women as it softens the features instead of overpowering them. These have a soft pink hue and look great on many face shapes.

Best Thin Rim, Semi-Rimless, and Rimless Eyeglass Frames

Rimless, semi-rimless, and rimless glasses offer a minimalistic and classic look. They accentuate your eyes and don’t draw too much attention to the fact that you are wearing glasses.

RayBan Semi-Rimless

These semi-rimless frames from RayBan come in five different colors, and there’s sure to be one combo that will catch your eye.

VOGUE Thin Rimmed Eyeglasses

Vogue makes quality and affordable eyewear, and these frames were designed for their Bijoux project. The frames are classic and have added embellishment rhinestones on the sides.

Scene Oval Blue Rimless Eyeglasses

These rimless glasses are perfect if you want the most attention on your eyes. This type of frame (or lack thereof) suits practically every face shape.

VOGUE Thin Rimmed Violet Glasses

Vogue’s thin-rimmed square frames are just the right amount of classic and trend combined. I love the violet and silver combo.

Best Trendy Eyeglass Frames

Go for trendy glasses if you enjoy fashion and switch up your eyeglasses often.

Michael Kors Clear Frames

Clear crystal frames are very fashionable at the moment. I am in love with the two-tone colors and the square cat-eye shape of these Michael Kors on-trend eyeglass frames.

Prada Multi-Color Frames

Prefer color? These frames from Prada won’t disappoint. The tortoise mix with the added red touch make these cool eyeglass frames perfect for the bold women over 60.

RayBan Square Frames

Square is in! This shape of eyeglass frame is all the rage at the moment. I love that they give off a slight 70s feeling. Never wore square glasses before? Give them a try, you might be surprised.

Percey Chestnut Crystal

Another sheer frame that I really like! They come in a variety of color combos and patterns but I particularly like this one that has a wood grain effect.

Best Places to Buy Frames

LensCrafters

LensCrafters offers a variety of discounts on new eyeglass frames, including a senior discount for AARP members. You can get an eye exam from an independent doctor of optometry near each LensCrafters store, and LensCrafters also offers a 90-day Unconditional Guarantee to give you a full refund on your new eyewear in case you are not completely satisfied.

Warby Parker

Warby Parker is a unique online store to shop for new stylish glasses for women – they sell really creative designs that also tend to be more affordable than most boutique-style eyewear, with prices starting at $95.

Are you worried about buying glasses online? No problem – Warby Parker makes it easy to “try before you buy” – they’ll send you up to five pairs of eyeglasses to try on at home, or you can take a photo of your face, upload it to the website, and see how your choice of glasses will look on your face.

Warby Parker also has a philanthropic mission – for every pair of eyeglasses that they sell, they donate a pair of eyeglasses to poor people throughout the world who cannot afford their own glasses. Warby Parker makes for a great story – you get a wonderfully stylish pair of glasses, while also contributing to a charitable cause.

Boomer Eyewear

Boomer Eyewear is another online site that offers designer glasses frames in updated and retro styles, as well as simpler reading glasses or lower-cost eyeglasses. Buy online and take the frames to your optician to get fitted with your prescription lenses – but check first, as some frames are too fragile for a lens to be changed.

There is a wide variety of eyewear designs available on this site, and all orders within the U.S. ship for only $5.99 – this is cheap shipping, compared to what many websites charge to ship items to your house.

Opticians

Your local eye doctor might have a great selection of fashionable glasses, but the prices are often higher than what you can find online. However, if you can find a one-of-a-kind pair of stylish eyeglasses, maybe it’s worth spending a bit extra. Plus, you get the reassurance of having the glasses fitted directly for your face, right there in the shop.

Boutiques

Again, there are often some incredibly cute and stylish eyeglass designs on sale at small boutique shops, But the prices are often higher than you can find online. It’s all a matter of balancing your budget with your personal sense of style. When you think about how many years you’re going to wear those glasses, perhaps it’s worth splurging on a truly unique look.

Thrift Stores

If you want a trip down memory lane, you can often find some wonderful vintage eyewear designs at thrift stores or consignment shops – just buy the frames (often for a cheap price), and then have the lenses replaced with your own prescription. But again, be careful – old glasses frames cannot always withstand having new lenses inserted.

Which frames are your favorites? Are you more traditional and prefer simple eyewear or do you go for the colorful and bold cat-eye frames? Tell us about your eyeglass frame shopping experiences in the comments below.

To shed some light on this question, let me offer the story of my good friend, Claire Duchesneau, a hearing-impaired singer. When she was a young woman, Claire was able to hear normally. She played the guitar. She wrote and sang songs. She performed.

Then, in her early 40s, her hearing began to deteriorate. The loss happened so gradually that when she was finally compelled to have a hearing test, she was surprised to learn that she had hearing loss in both ears. Eventually, she had herself fitted with hearing aids and life went on. 

But her desire to sing was still strong. So she introduced herself to me by email and asked if I was interested in working with a hearing-impaired person who wanted to regain her ability to sing in tune. As a longtime singer and vocal coach, I was intrigued by this challenge and immediately said, “Yes!”

The end-result is that after four years of lessons, along with steady and patient work on her part, Claire was singing and performing again. She also recorded a CD. You can hear Claire tell some of the highlights from her own inspiring story in this short interview I recently recorded with her.

What Kind of Hearing Do You Have?

Claire is a person who could sing well as a younger woman. When she suffered hearing loss, she could still remember what it was like to sing in tune and re-create melodies with her voice. Apparently, it is not the same story for many others in the human population.

According to Dr. Sean Hutchins, the Director of Research for The Royal Conservatory of Music in Toronto, “Singing is a complex expression. The majority of people, around 60 percent, have a difficult time with it.”So, even those who have no measurable hearing loss may still find it difficult to sing the right notes, when prompted. Research shows that the brain misdirects the request. 

So when we ask this question, “I can’t hear very well, can I still sing?”, first we need to determine where we stand hearing-wise: Are we losing our hearing and therefore hearing aids can help us to keep singing? Or, do we hear well enough, but cannot easily sing the right notes due to an apparent brain glitch? 

Do you know which description is true for you?

And if it is our brain that’s at fault, what then? Can we learn how to hear those notes and sing more in tune after some consistent practice? The answer again is, “Yes!” 

I Heard You, But Did I Really Listen?

The late Alfred Tomatis, an ear, nose and throat doctor from France, is renowned for his research on hearing. He worked for many years with both professional singers and non-singers.

Tomatis believed that there is a big difference between hearing and listening. He wrote: “If one gives the imperfect ear the chance of hearing correctly, the voice instantly and unconsciously improves.”

A longtime student of Tomatis, Paul Madaule, founded the Listening Centre in Toronto based on Tomatis’s work. Madaule believes that while “hearing is passive… listening is active, and it involves the intent to reach out.” 

Toronto’s Listening Centre offers intense listening sessions that aim at heightening the clients’ engagement abilities. They provide an auditory “tune up” that exercises the muscles of the middle ear. But what if we cannot or do not want to seek this kind of formal help? Are there simple things that we can do, day to day, to improve our singing? 

Here are a few suggestions:

Get a Hearing Test

This may be a bit of a scary option. Many of us don’t want to know if our hearing has changed. But the sooner you get your hearing tested, the quicker you can catch your hearing loss before it affects your life in a big way.

If You Are Given Hearing Aids, Wear Them!

The National Institute on Deafness (NIDCD) claims: “Of those who are age 70 and older who could benefit from wearing hearing aids, fewer than 30 percent have ever used them.” Your hearing may not necessarily get worse without hearing aids, but your ability to understand speech may deteriorate with time.

Find a Vocal Coach and Take Some Singing Lessons

As you read in her story above, Claire Duchesneau decided to try singing lessons as a way to get back to good singing. You may not want to devote as much time to practicing as she did, but at the very least you will be tuning up your listening skills, while you learn to sing. And listening of this kind keeps you vibrant and energized! 

Do Some Ear Training 

There are many ways to train your ear. You can sit at a piano and play notes that you then sing – one by one. You can also do this on a guitar. Or you can follow along with someone who helps you to stay in tune.

Here is a video I recently recorded with a simple exercise for this very purpose. There are many useful videos on YouTube. Just Google the words, “beginner’s ear training,” to find more help. Ear training can be fun!

Stay Connected with People You Love

Especially in these socially restricted Covid days, it’s important to call or Zoom with friends and family members often. These loving connections will help you to retain both your hearing and your brain’s integrity.

Do Some New Things Now and Then! 

When we engage in new challenges (such as singing lessons), our brains are stimulated in refreshing ways. A stimulated brain wants to connect. Connection helps us to hear and listen better.

Practice Your Singing!

Sing along with your favourite songs. Learn a new song every now and then. Find a singing buddy; that is, someone who loves to sing, just as you do. You can sing to one another online using FaceTime, Zoom, Skype etc.

Finally, keep this in mind: “Music does make you smarter, but… simply listening to music will not have any long-term impact. However, studying music and learning an instrument are associated with improved cognitive abilities over the course of a life.” — Sean Hutchins from his article, “Music and Cognitive Benefits.”

Join Barbara’s free weekly newsletter to learn more about her upcoming course, Wake Up Your Life with Singing!

World Hearing Day is March 3. Make March 2021 your time to improve your hearing and listening abilities!

Are you concerned about losing your hearing? Is singing important to you, but you worry that you cannot hear well enough to sing? Have you tried to use hearing aids? Have they helped you? If you do use hearing aids, and you still sing, what advice can you offer?