Each and every one of us is unique. No one else has your health and movement history and your biology. Because of this, not all spine exercises or cautions will apply to you. The suggestions and ideas I offer are an exploration that has helped many, many people and were taught to me by Stuart McGill, an expert in back pain.

Back pain can result from inactivity leading to a weak back that will become fragile. It can also come from too much activity. In either case, these exercises will help your back become less fragile.

Your Fragility Curve Applies Only to You

We each have our own “fragility curve,” that spot on a graph where too much stress or load results in injury. The three big exercises can be used to train everyone’s spine to be stronger and more resilient.

In this way, you move the tipping point (the point where injury occurs) on your fragility curve to give you more room for movement and loads. For more information on how to not go past your personal breaking point visit my tutorial on the subject in my podcast.

Making the Joints Stronger

It is good to understand the principles of how to stress the joints to make them stronger:

• When a joint is bearing a significant load, we need to stiffen the joint.
• When we want to enhance a joint’s range of motion, we should do so when it is NOT bearing a load.
• When we are moving a joint under a load we need to train for the proper technique.

Let’s Apply to the Low Back

We can apply these ideas to the low back to find the proper technique to avoid low back pain.

#1 Strengthen the back when the spine is in a neutral position.

#2 Enhance the range of motion when the back is not fully engaged, thus not loaded. An example is to work on range of motion while lying on your back not standing.

#3 When training with movement, make sure you have the coordination for the movement before you add load.

The Big 3 Exercises for Your Back

Without further ado, let’s plunge into the Big 3 exercises that help strengthen your lower back. The technique is specific and important. You can do these every day.

Bird Dog

In bird dog, we come to our hands and knees. Do not worry if this is not possible for you. I demonstrate alternatives to the ground version in the video above.

Many of you are probably familiar with this exercise where one extends the opposite arm and leg while stabilizing the core. The next step is to lift that arm and leg. Of course, you repeat the move on the other side. The key to my back rehab version has to do with how you lift and the fist your hand is making.

Side Plank

Again, I am sure you are familiar with side plank. But do you have a strategy for optimizing your core stability and not twisting or slumping?

Did you know that there is a reason to not stack the legs if you are on the floor and up on your hands and the same is true of standing at the wall for side plank? Yet, if we are on the floor, and we are not lifting our shoulder and hips high, we will stack our knees.

Modified Curl Up (No Spinal Flexion)

This exercise has absolutely nothing in common with a sit up unless you say that they are both with the person laying face up on the ground. This exercise has a lot of moving parts and is best learned from video, but suffice it to say that your head does lift.

Do you experience back pain? How often and when does it occur? Have you tried any exercises to strengthen your back? How have they helped you?

Garcelle Beauvais’ Black and Gold Sequin Palm Print Dress on Instagram

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2020 Instagram Fashion

 Garcelle Beauvais greeted us with a very warm welcome on her Instagram. And I have to say that might be because she was lookin’ hot in her black and gold sequin palm print dress. If only I could just open my door and see palm trees *sigh* (see previous complaints about the weather). Thankfully now I may just be able to open my closet door and see them.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her Retrofete Gabrielle Robe Dress

Click Here to Shop it in White

Photo: @garcelle

Originally posted at: Garcelle Beauvais’ Black and Gold Sequin Palm Print Dress

Be honest. How many times have you purchased something just because you “loved the color”? Other than fit, one of the first things that we look at when choosing a new item of clothing is the color.

Unfortunately, as we age, our skin changes, and many of the colors that looked great on us when we were younger no longer make us sparkle.

Your Favorite Colors Aren’t Necessarily the Most Flattering

By the time we reach our 60s, we know what we like in most aspects of our lives. This is definitely true when it comes to colors. When we walk into a store or browse online options, it is completely natural to gravitate towards items of clothing with colors that we love.

The problem is that your favorite colors aren’t necessarily the best colors for your skin tone.

The best thing to do is try each item of clothing on and remind yourself to look objectively at how they look next to your skin. (If you purchase online, look for stores with simple return policies.) If you still want to wear the colors that you love, even if they don’t compliment your skin, consider wearing them on the bottom, not on top.

For example, while very few older women will look good in a red scarf, having a red belt may be completely appropriate with certain outfits.

What Is Color Analysis?

Barbara Schwartz explains: “Color analysis is the process of identifying the colors that will be most flattering to a person, based on her or his skin tone, natural hair color, and eyes. Suzanne Caygill first brought to the public’s attention the Seasonal System of Color Analysis in 1980, when she published Color: The Essence of You.”

This system categorizes people into four seasons, based on the undertone of their skin. Those with a cool (blue) undertone are Winter or Summer; those with a warm (yellow) undertone are Autumn or Spring.

More recently, the four seasonal palettes have been expanded into 16, to take into account the fact that many people have coloring characteristics common to more than one season.

Don’t Listen to Sales People – Take a Friend with You

Shopping for clothes at any age is hard work. This is especially true given the fact that sales assistants are not necessarily compensated to make us look great; they are paid to sell us clothes.

Shop assistants will sell you anything. Very few of them will tell you the truth about the color.

The advice here is to take a friend with you on your shopping trip. Not only will they be more likely to give you an honest opinion about how each item of clothing looks on you, but they can help you to stand up to the shop assistants and take the time you need to make good fashion decisions.

Why Worry About Color?

Karen Brunger, a leader in the industry today, answers this question: “As an image consultant, I consider color to be the most important element in having my clients appear their very best. Colour can help us appear healthier, more alive, personally powerful, and in harmony with ourselves. Conversely, color can make us appear jaundiced, anemic, unhealthy, insipid, and jarring.”

Avoid Trying to Match Your Clothes to Your Eyes

Has anyone ever told you, “That top looks fantastic with your eyes!” Be careful. Most of the time, people actually mean that the color in an item of clothing “matches” our eyes.

Trying to match our clothes to our eyes can be a big mistake. You think that the blue is bringing out the color in your eyes. In reality, it is doing exactly the opposite. Instead of trying to match your eye color, pay close attention to how your clothes look next to your skin tone.

Be Especially Careful with Reds and Pastels

As we get older, our skin tone changes. Specifically, our skin tends to get a bit “redder” as the capillaries in our face get more fragile and break. This is one of the reasons that it is so difficult for many women our age to make reds look good with our skin.

The same goes for pastels, which have a tendency to “mix” with our skin. This is yet another example of why color selection is so important when it comes to fashion for older women. It’s better to stick with dark colors, such as black, dark blue, or bordeaux, for your basic items of clothing. You can always accessorize them with other colors. Just be extra careful with reds and pastels.

Choose Clothing for Fit First and Color Second

Perhaps the most important piece of advice is to keep color in perspective. Compared to “fit,” it’s just not that important. What you really want to do is technically fit your body, so that the clothing fits you. Then, the color can be added.

Do you agree with these tips for choosing colors that look great on you? Have you ever chosen an item of clothing that you loved because of its color, only to find that it didn’t look good on you?

Kyle Richards Black Velvet Dress

Real Housewives of Beverly Hill Instagram Fashion

Let me give you some life advice. Find you a man that looks at you the way Maurico Umansky is looking at Kyle Richards in this pic. Or the way I’m looking at her black velvet dress. Either way, things will totally be hot.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Rotate Miki Dress

Click Here for Additional Stock

Click Here for Even More Stock

Photo: @KyleRichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards Black Velvet Dress

A lot has been written about friendship in our 50s, 60s, and beyond. I’ve written articles about it, too. Whether we’re welcoming new friends or faithfully committing to the ones we have, women understand the benefits of forming connections as we age.

Nurturing any friendship felt quite different in 2020. The pandemic forced us into our homes where we developed a love/hate relationship with Zoom, FaceTime, and other virtual methods of connection.

Making new friends had been tricky for me in recent years. It’s happened in fits and starts. I’m not a natural “joiner,” but I’d begun pushing through that, saying “yes” to opportunities in hopes of meeting new friends.

Book clubs, writing classes. Community tables in restaurants, neighborhood get-togethers. I was pretty game and had some fun along the way. I met some nice women which made coming out of my comfort zone worth it.

Saying “Yes” and Showing Up Brings New Awareness

Along the way, I confirmed that older women enjoy casual conversation. However, we thrive on deeper connection. That’s what I want more of in my life. The women I want to welcome as new friends want it, too.

Meaningful dialogue, belly laughter. Inspiring insights, different perspectives. Shared values, curious minds. These can be the foundation for friendships that withstand the test of time.

Not long before the Covid lockdown, I’d started to question why we have to wait or hope for this kind of friendship to develop. Why can’t new friendships begin with those things in mind? So I decided that, if I can’t find a group to join that gives me what I want, I could start one. 

That seemed obvious and also felt scary. Sometimes the best ideas do.

I wondered if it’s possible to create “intentional friendships.” Friends who come together for a purpose and create a safe space for sharing.

I’d already brought this about in my business life. I had evidence that women’s circles are a welcome and successful way for women to gather together and share ideas. So why not replicate this in my personal life?

Can Friendship Circles Work?

I took a risk, shared my vision with two women, and asked if they wanted to join me in an experiment. One of them asked another woman, they asked another, and we became a circle of five.

We’re more than a book club, although we refer to ourselves as that because it’s easy. We may never have a catchy name, but we all agree that our time together is intentional.

We’re currently meeting on Zoom with hopes that we’ll be back together in person soon. What’s unfolding feels delightful, surprising, and unique. And, quite frankly, sacred.

The Key Is to Keep It Simple

Our ground rules are easy:

• Set monthly meeting dates and times. Select them so they work for everyone.
• Rotate the discussion leader. Her source for a topic might be a book, a movie, a podcast, an article, a current social issue… whatever is resonating or feels important to her.
• Have one conversation. No sidebars, and no talking over someone else.
• Have fun! We spend time catching up, and we bring snacks. We take our conversation time seriously, but we don’t take ourselves too seriously. 

Our group is committed and joyful. Our members are thoughtful and caring. Our gatherings are a highlight of the month. We learn a little more about each other every time we meet up. We’re filled with gratitude each time we part company. 

And that was the idea.

The Group Dynamic Will Evolve

We’ve had to cancel some meetings because life has been unpredictable the last several months. But as our circle matures, we’ll undoubtedly forge a deeper connection. We’ll probably hit a few roadblocks, too. For now, our foundation feels stable. And our intentions are the threads that weave us together, enriching our lives with “intentional friendships.” 

And my latest a-ha? Anything we truly yearn for is worth a little risk. Even via Zoom. The payoff can be so rewarding.

Have you ever formed a Friendship Circle? How are you creating more meaningful friendships during this stage of life or during this time of self-isolation? Join the conversation!