Melissa Gorga’s Tie Dye Puff Sleeve Top

Real Housewives of New Jersey Instagram Fashion

A matching Melissa Gorga, Margaret Josephs’ and Jackie Goldschneider got together for some wine (based on the background of the pic, anyways) and we love to see it. Real Housewives of New Jersey is back February 17th and I’m ready for it. While there were a few seasons of RHONJ I wasn’t super into, I loved last season and I’m very excited to see what the Jersey girls bring, especially if Melissa decides to bring this tie dye puff sleeve top.

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Photo: @TheRealMargaretJosephs

Originally posted at: Melissa Gorga’s Tie Dye Puff Sleeve Top

It would be nice if turning 60 meant more time to focus on home décor, dating, personal style, new and delicious recipes, investing opportunities, retirement, travel, or the latest makeup tips. But for many women, turning 60 means raising grandchildren, financial insecurity, low-paying jobs, elder care responsibilities, and even food insecurity.

Add to that having a physical limitation or disability that makes continued working a supreme challenge, and you have the reality of millions of women who are all but ignored by society. If you are – or know – one of these women, all is not lost.

This Is Not Just a Story

Take the case of Kathy A. Kathy had what she thought was a secure job with a local government agency. Single and helping to raise her grandchildren, she had relocated to Colorado to help with caring for an elderly aunt who was in her mid-80s.

Kathy loved her job and had no plans for retirement.

Then suddenly, she was struck with a life threatening medical condition that left her out of work for nearly six months. Kathy was now disabled. But Kathy knew that there were laws that prevented her employer from terminating her employment because of her disability.

She knew that, in most cases, the law required her employer to accommodate her disability so she can continue working after recovering. However, Kathy’s employer was unsympathetic and refused to even discuss possible accommodations. Kathy was fired from the job that she loved and which provided financial security for her and her grandchildren.

A Unique Scenario? Not Really

Although there are laws that are intended to prevent discrimination of any kind, many employers simply refuse to follow them. In Kathy’s case, she was smart enough to hire an attorney to protect her rights. What ensued was a five-year long court battle that nearly tore Kathy’s life apart.

Fortunately, an appellate court ruled in Kathy’s favor, finding that her employer should have attempted to accommodate Kathy’s disability instead of summarily firing her.

Is Going to Court the Only Solution?

But let’s face it. The goal is not to be involved in long-term litigation but to prevent employers from taking such adverse action in the first place.

Here’s a short check-list of what to do if you find yourself suddenly unable to work because of a medical condition or disability:

#1 Act Right Away

If possible, immediately notify your employer that you will be out of work or that you will need some type of accommodation to continue working. If you can’t communicate with them yourself right away, ask a friend or family member do so.

#2 Have a Return Date

Get your doctor to provide your employer with an expected date (or time frame) of your return to work. For example, an expected return date in 30 days or six weeks or three months. If more time is needed, a second medical notice can be provided in the future.

In most cases, employers are required to provide a “reasonable” amount of time off in order to accommodate your disability and allow you to recover. Your medical provider should not give an “indefinite” or “unknown” return date.

In some jurisdictions, the employer is not required to wait indefinitely for the employee to recover and return to work. Therefore, if the medical provider offers no expected time frame to return, you may be fired once all leave is exhausted.

#3 Know Your Employee Rights

Find out what your employer’s policies are on time off or medical leave of absence. In most cases, employers are required to provide leave under the Family Medical Leave Act. Also, leave may be extended beyond that time to comply with other laws that protect disabled workers. Some employers may also have more generous leave policies.

#4 Discuss Accommodations

Don’t delay discussing the topic of accommodations. Some types of accommodation may include, but are not limited to:

• additional time off
• job restructuring
• temporary light duty work
• working from home
• part-time or modified work schedules
• reassignment to a vacant position
• acquisition or modification of equipment or devices
• appropriate adjustment or modification of examinations
• training materials or policies
• the provision of qualified readers or interpreters
• other similar accommodations.

#5 Whatever You Discuss, Put It in Writing

Get your employer’s written response to your request for an accommodation. If they will not put it in writing, then send a confirming email or letter to the individual that provided the response and to your human resources department outlining the employer’s response to your request for an accommodation.

Realize that there are no guarantees that employers will follow the law, but if you arm yourself with these few simple steps, you stand a better chance of being able to continue working with your disability.

Nothing in this article is intended to be legal advice. If you have concerns about your rights at work, it is recommended that you seek advice from a professional attorney in your area as laws may vary by jurisdiction.

Have you experienced a short- or long-term disability that rendered you unable to return to your job for a while? What was your employer’s response? How did you handle the communication with them? What advice or personal story can you share with our community?

Kenya Moore’s Pink Lace Up Strapless Dress

Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 13 Episode 8 Fashion

While her hostessing style may be in question, Kenya Moore’s fashion choices on the girls’ trip to South Carolina are not. And this pink, lace up, strapless dress cooking breakfast (for one?) is a really cute piece that you can buy and pack every time you go on vacation.  It’s on sale for a great price and is a light-weight, easy breezy fabric that shouldn’t take up much room in your suitcase. So whether you’ve got to make room for your clothes in a private jet or a van, it shouldn’t create much of an issue.

The Realest Housewife,

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Click here to Shop her Ramy Brook Dress

Originally posted at: Kenya Moore’s Pink Lace Up Strapless Dress

At around age 55 I found my voice. Previously, my voice was that of my husband, or my boss, and sometimes my adult children. I thought it would be best not to speak up with an opinion, and furthermore, I greatly doubted my opinion was worth speaking up.

Raised in a family where I was the fifth of six children, I watched more than spoke. I felt the older brothers and sisters were smarter, more popular, and just cooler on every level. When it came to me, I thought I was just OK.

Just OK – or average – in my homework, my ideas, and just OK in my opinions. We are all closer now (and dare I say, equally cool) than those days when we were busy finding ourselves and establishing our paths.

Afraid to Speak Up

As a young woman, I went to Bible School. I knew I had a message and wanted to learn how to share it. I enrolled in teaching, of all things, where I had to stand before an audience and give a lesson. Fear gripped me every time I stood in front of my classmates.

How could I speak to an experienced group of knowledgeable people? Each time, I struggled to be sure that my lessons were factual and well researched, just in case I was challenged by someone. This was my first step to begin to overcome my fear of failure and of being just OK.

I learned that my voice could positively inspire and change the lives of my listeners. As my life progressed, I quit the ministry and began to work in a whole new challenging setting, the corporate world.

At meetings, I was the quiet one. I again believed everyone in the room was smarter, more accomplished, and would think my ideas were too simple or elementary.

Things Began to Change

I had a couple of supervisors who saw my potential and put me in many positions where I was to lead. It was agony, but eventually I learned that my suggestions and my insight were appreciated, respected, and yes, acted upon.

It took courage to speak up, but in speaking up, I found I actually had a voice and could express it. This was not without fear though! It took countless times of live practice to have the fear of speaking up subside.

My Voice, My Life

Today, I hear my voice and can speak it clearly in matters of my life. I’ve evolved to do things that, looking back, seem remarkable. This has affected five real estate deals, beginning my own business, dealing with financial issues, all the while trusting my instincts and voicing them.

I’ve practiced expressing opinions in a way that doesn’t offend, yet perhaps doesn’t agree with the common opinion either.

This will happen to you as you tune in and gain courage. The more you do something you are timid about or afraid of, the better you get at it.

Finding your voice in this context involves leaving out volatile words, anger, or put downs to others. (I would call that using “fighting words” that will not cause a fight or start a debate.) You simply find your voice to share your opinion, without need for others to agree or change their point of view.

A wise person once told me, “If you don’t say anything, you are agreeing.” Think that through for a minute. Is it true?

If you are in discussion with someone who is expressing a totally different opinion than yours, and the conversation ends without you getting to share your thoughts, would the other party believe you agree with them?

Have you been squashed out of expressing your true self? Do you feel that others’ opinions are more important, more researched and intelligent, or just that their ideas count more than yours? If you answer yes to those questions, ask yourself, is that really true?

Steps to Begin Finding Your Voice

Try these ideas to gain courage and strength in your voice:

Practice in the Privacy of Your Own Home

Listen to podcasts or the news, and when you have a different opinion, start talking out loud as if the speaker can hear you.

You might feel silly, but then again, you will be strengthening your own personal power. Words will come more easily in future moments as you become more comfortable speaking them in private.

Write Responses in a Journal

Imagine yourself in situations you will likely encounter and write what you might say. Do this especially if it’s a conversation that embraces the opposite of your opinion.

For example, when with your closest and most trusted friend, if you have an opinion that differs from theirs, allow them to speak it out, then try saying one of these:

• “I respect you think that way, but here’s my thinking…”
• “Thanks for sharing, but I feel a bit differently.”
• “I understand what you’re saying. We each have a right to an opinion, and what you expressed is not my opinion, in fact, I believe…”

Then venture on to express your thoughts. They may be surprised to hear you speak up!

Accept Others’ Wisdom

Right now, think of a person who shared an idea that changed you. You began to take a different path or think more openly about something because they took the chance to share. How important was that to you?

Practice Makes Perfect

Lastly, remember this quote:

The only way to find your voice is to use it.

—Austin Kleon; Picture quotes.com

Your Words Can Make a Difference

As you practice, you will find your way of expressing your own personal truth. Won’t you be surprised to find that sometimes, the whole conversation turns around to consider your opinion? Or even if that does not happen in the moment, you never know who will feel inspired by your words.

When you find the courage to use your voice, it has the power to positively inspire and change the lives of others. It’s one of the special gifts you have to offer the world and is something to be cherished and championed, never hidden.

—Nicole O’Neill; higherlevelliving.org

You are a unique and wonderful individual with thoughts, feelings, and opinions that matter. When you begin to verbalize your own voice, you give yourself the appreciation of your worth. You may affect change for the better, all because you practiced your voice and believed in yourself.

Are you afraid to express your opinion? Who shared something with you in the past that totally changed your path? Do you need practice expressing yourself without anger or starting a heated discussion? Has speaking up ever backfired for you?

Kandi Burruss’ Louis Vuitton Bikini

Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 13 Episode 8 Fashion

While towards the end of last night’s Real Housewives of Atlanta Kandi Burruss’ stepped out in a sheer, black, leopard catsuit to prove she wasn’t an “Auntie” we could have told you that when we saw her in her Louis Vuitton bikini by the pool. Oh yeah, and every time we saw her before that. Clearly the “Nieces” are just concerned that they aren’t grown enough to afford this bikini ;-).

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Louis Vuitton Bikini

Originally posted at: Kandi Burruss’ Louis Vuitton Bikini