Kyle Richards’ Black and Gold Aviator Sunglasses on Instastories

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2021 Instagram Fashion

Aviator sunglasses are my favorite style of shades. So it’s no surprise that I loved Kyle Richards’ black and gold aviator sunglasses that she had posted on her Instastories. I just think that they fit any and every face shape and look great on everyone. Which makes it nice for being able to borrow them from friends.

But since most of us are only friends with Kyle Richards in our heads and not real life we can’t borrow her Louis Vuitton shades from her. We can however steal her style by buying from eBay or the Style Stealers. Which is just as good I suppose, even though I still want to be her friend IRL.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her Louis Vuitton Ash Sunglasses on eBay

Click Here to Shop her Gucci Hoodie on eBay

Photo: @kylerichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Black and Gold Aviator Sunglesses

Recently, I received a letter from a woman who told me nothing is working in her dating life. No one is interested in her. No one is interested in her friends either.

They, like her, are experiencing loneliness and a lack of contact with men.

She and Her Friends Over 50 Feel Invisible to Men

It doesn’t have to be this way at all. The problem is most women think finding a good guy is about having the right profile and picture.

Your profile and picture are important, but getting a great guy starts within you and the mindset you have about men and yourself.

So What Does Shifting Your Mindset About Men and You Mean?

It’s so easy to get caught in the type of rut I described above. If your friends are having trouble getting dates, instead of looking at themselves… the finger gets turned around and pointed at the men out there and their behavior.

It’s not about the men we want to meet. It’s about how we feel about ourselves that makes the difference.

Yes, men are attracted to your physical appearance. It’s how they’re wired from the caveman days of mating with women who could produce strong children that could survive the brutal elements.

What you may not know is that men are also attracted to your energy. We give off a vibe that men can feel from your profile picture, in emails the two of you exchange, on the phone or even when you meet (even virtually).

When it comes to dating after 50, there are two types of vibrations you put out into the world. I mentioned the first already and that is how you feel about yourself. When you feel beautiful both inside and out, men can sense this and are attracted to you. By the way, your Inner Glow enhances your outer magnificence and makes you even more attractive to men.

Love Your Body

To get that inner fire glowing, you’ll want to really look at what you love about you. Let’s start with your physical qualities. Sometimes it’s hard for us to love our various parts and pieces as we age.

In that case, you’ll want to shift your mindset to one of gratitude for what the body part can do. For example, a lot of women don’t love their arms but can have gratitude for them because they use their arms to hug the people they love.

Indulge in Your Passions

Next, rediscover your passions. Think about the things you’re good at or the activities you’d love to try. I always wanted to paint so I took classes in both watercolor and acrylics. My friends would tell me my face lit up when I talked about the colors I had fun playing with. This lighting up is what men are so drawn to in you.

The second type of energy is the mindset we have when it comes to men. A lot of women think women reside in those masculine bodies they’re interested in. They don’t! Men think differently than women. And this can frustrate us to no end if we don’t speak the language men can hear or understand.

This Misunderstanding Can Lead Us to Male Bashing

If you’re talking negatively about men with your friends, I guarantee this downbeat energy shows up in your field and pushes men away.

If you come from a mindset that men are fun and really cool in their own way, your energy field gives off this vibe instead, which again draws men towards you.

Good men are interested in women our age. The secret is learning to love ourselves so we can allow the men we want to meet to love us too.

I love showing women around the world how to find love again with a good man after 50. It all starts with knowing where to find them. I’d like to invite you to get your copy of my FREE REPORT the “5 Little Known Secrets to Finding A Quality Man Over 50” at FindAQualityMan.com. You’ll discover lots of tips and advice specifically geared for finding a good man in your local area and online.

Have you tried dating after 50? What was your experience? Do you agree that women our age are often too hard on men? Why or why not? Please join the conversation.

We all have our “someday” goals, and as the years march on and we close in on the expiration date of someday, we often let those ambitions fade away. So when a friend in her 60s received her master’s degree, I had a lot of questions for her.

Patricia Finnegan was living alone in an apartment she loved, with family heirlooms and panoramic windows overlooking the beautiful surroundings of northern California. Dozens of lifelong friends and family members lived within the state.

Patricia had a car and a decent nest egg earned through the sale two years earlier of Little Bear School, a preschool she’d founded when she was 27 and pregnant with her fourth child.

When Life Makes Us Restless, Having a Passion Brings Hope

But she also had a passion as well as a restlessness. After more than 30 years of observing all the things that shaped children’s behavior, Patricia grew fascinated by behavior origins and neuroscience in general. When you have an itch for a long time, even in your 60s you finally want to scratch it.

Her restlessness, equally hard to ignore, was borne of tragedy. In 2009, Patricia lost her 25-year-old son Milo to complications from a congenital heart defect. Milo’s death was the reason behind Patricia’s decision to sell her preschool.

When Milo was a baby, Patricia left a lucrative job and started the school in her own house in order to stay home with her newborn, so Milo and Little Bear School had always been associated together in her mind. Losing one hurt too much to continue with the other.

How We Choose to Live After Loss Is Important

Grief can work on us in conflicting ways. It’s both paralyzing and motivating. Even though you can barely get out of bed to face another day, you also begin to consider how the person you lost would want you to move on, and stagnation tends to never be the answer.

Patricia didn’t have to think hard about what would come next. She knew she wanted more education, and she didn’t give her age much thought.

Still, the whole concept of pursuing a master’s degree in developmental neuropsychology was daunting for someone whose associate’s degree was in music and who still didn’t have enough credits for a bachelor’s degree.

Following a Dream

To overcome that obvious first hurdle, Patricia enrolled in Cal State and completed the necessary coursework for a degree in human development, graduating magna cum laude. Heeding some good advice, she applied to assist on research projects and was able to contribute to fascinating research in neurodiversity, alternative sexuality and child psychology, all while making valuable contacts.

With her lifetime of varied experiences and her more recent work in the field, Patricia says she was able to write a “killer SOP” (statement of purpose), and soon she had her choice of master’s programs at several universities. She decided she wanted an adventure.

“Grad school was an opportunity to live somewhere else,” Patricia says. “So I didn’t apply anywhere in California.” When she received acceptance into Columbia University’s developmental psychology department, housed in its iconic Teachers College, she grabbed the opportunity.

On to Grad School After 60

Suddenly Patricia was downsizing just like other people her age, but more drastically and not for the typical reasons. She sold, discarded or gave away just about everything. By the time she arrived in New York City in 2017, she owned neither a car nor a single piece of furniture.

While Teachers College covered tuition for the first semester and part of the second, the remaining tuition and living expenses whittled down Patricia’s savings. She decided to claim her Social Security at the earliest possible age, 62, even though that meant relinquishing a higher payout if she’d waited.

To supplement that income, she found jobs as a nanny. Still, she ended up taking out a loan to finish her last semester.

“I could tell that some people who’d known me my whole life thought this was crazy,” Patricia recalls. “It’s not a completely sane thing to do, to move away from family and friends who love you.” Those left behind included four grandchildren and Patricia’s mother, who died not long after Patricia left, which added a painful aspect to the saga.

One to Inspire the Coming Generations

Today, with her impressive new credential in her repertoire, Patricia is happy she made such a big change in her life.

Her grandchildren are getting old enough to want to travel to the Big Apple to spend time with such an awesome grandma, and Patricia feels that she is inspiring people decades younger, only in their 40s, who have told her they thought they were already too old to return to school.

“Seeing someone like me do this and make a cross-country move as if it’s the most natural thing in the world has helped a number of people I’m aware of,” Patricia reports. When they finish raising their children and perhaps can afford to take a sabbatical from a full-time job, they may think of Patricia and go for their next challenge.

Plans for the Future

At 66, Patricia hopes to find work researching, writing and lecturing about neurodiversity, specifically as it relates to behavior in children with autism and autistic traits. She plans to stay in New York City for a few years – and then move to Paris!

That’s just another dream she’s had, so she’s brushing up on French. And she hasn’t ruled out pursuing her PhD. But she’s now able to look back with more peace, and she’s not scared of looking ahead and growing older.

“I miss my past identities, and I miss my California apartment,” Patricia says. “I still can’t believe I’m not that person who runs Little Bear School. But for better or worse, I’m now in academia, and academics tend to work late into their lives. The study of autism and neural development in children is in its infancy, and I feel so lucky that I get to work on it at this stage. Why would I stop now?”

Are you content with your current life? Have you always had a passion or a dream that you wanted to fulfill but never got the chance to pursue? Would you give your dream a go after 60? Do you envision any hurdles along the way? Have others commented you are too old to pursue your dream? Please share your story with the community!

Margaret Josephs’ Black Swimsuit

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 11 Episode 5 Fashion

Margaret Joseph may be a self-proclaimed pool pusher, but she is also a swimsuit pusher. She is pushing me to buy yet another black swimsuit. It might be hard to see in the photo under her cover-up (still looking for that), but it’s a simple black one piece with leopard laces. I love it because it’s a fairly tame look yet the leopard (and Margaret) make it fierce. Which is the perfect combo that goes hand-in-hand, just like pools and pushing.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To See Her Carla Colletto Swimsuit

Click here to Shop Other Colors

Photo: @therealmargaretjosephs

Originally posted at: Margaret Josephs’ Black Swimsuit

Except for front line workers and clerks (and God bless all of you who are) a lot of us have been experiencing a form of “retirement,” during the pandemic lockdown. We’ve been relegated to living in sweats and athleisure outfits.

In addition to being somewhat soul crushing to wear the same thing day in and day out, it’s also an identity-killer. So much of how we see ourselves in the world is expressed through what we wear.

But if we look on the bright side, it certainly has given us the opportunity to think about what our lives might look like if we actually were retired. However that might look in your own case, your wardrobe choices will depend on a few basic but crucial things.

Where You Live or Plan to Live

If you are planning on retiring where you are currently living, your options are going to be a lot easier. You already know the requirements of the climate. Perhaps you understand the cultural norms expected in your area, the kinds of items to wear and when to wear them. You are comfortable with what you already wear.

So, maybe your goal is just to simplify, to downsize from what you already have. If that’s the case, consider starting with a closet purge. A lot of us have been doing this already during the lockdown. But a closet purge is a liberating activity, regardless of whether you stay put or are planning a big move.

It’s especially valuable when you are embarking on a new lifestyle. Retirement is certainly a huge lifestyle change.

But if you plan to move, do some research: what is acceptable, necessary, and typical for your new locale? One of my colleagues who grew up in big cities on the East Coast moved to the Central coast of California.

It took her about a year to figure out what colors and styles would work for her in her new environment without compromising her personality. This is often where we hit a snag.

Be sure that the climate of the new locale – physically and culturally – suits your personality and style. Or, be sure that you are very happy discovering a new side of yourself in a new environment and experimenting with that.

What You Plan to Do

Will you be dating? Volunteering? Tutoring? Will you be taking classes or gardening? Are you going to continue to cocoon yourself? Babysit grandkids? Travel? All these come into play when considering what you will be wearing in your retirement years.

A couple of friends of mine just put their house on the market, bought an RV, and decided to spend the next two years as nomads. That made their clothing choices very simple: functional tops, sweaters, and jackets for layering, comfortable shoes for hiking and walking, and just a few slightly dressier items for an occasional meal out or to stroll through a new city or museum. That was all they packed.

Unless you are equally as adventurous, your own choices will likely require more thought. Your wardrobe will depend on the level of human interaction you expect. If you hope to be more socially active, think about how frequent your engagements will be.

The number of luncheons, entertainment events, dinners out, and family gatherings per month that you anticipate will give you some idea of how large and what type of a wardrobe you need.

If your work wardrobe was pretty extensive, it might be time to donate some of your more business-like pieces. There are wonderful organizations that provide outfits for women just entering the work force, and you can often get a tax deduction for donating those. (Contact your local worship or non-profit for homeless women’s shelter to find one near you.)

If there won’t be a lot of overlap among the people you expect to see during any month, there really isn’t a need for a huge wardrobe. Some nice blazers and jackets will pull many outfits together.

A few great outerwear pieces, well-fitting casual and dressier slacks, nice jeans, and a variety of different types of tops – casual, and dressy – will serve multiple purposes. Add in some of your favorite types of skirts and dresses and you will still look and feel feminine, attractive, and that important piece we desire as we age, visible.

Is Travel in Your Future?

Like my nomad friends, many of us have gotten the travel bug, especially after being isolated for so long. The call of the road seems irresistible about now.

There are many terrific options for travel during our retirement years. And just as wherever you call home, the climate of your destination will be your first concern. Comfort is the next. If you’re like me, lugging heavy suitcases does not contribute to travel enjoyment. So wardrobe brevity will be a goal if you want the experience to be memorable, in a good way.

Map out the places you will visit, check out related web pages to see what clothing people wear there at different times of the year, and consider any special events you might be attending. That will help you to determine how casually or formally you might need to dress.

And then be strategic. Think of a simple color scheme. Select pieces in the same or very similar color family that go with or complement each other – and then stick to that. Unless you have a multi-color item you adore and that goes with everything else, avoid packing it, or any other color anomalies. They will weigh you down physically and psychologically.

And most importantly, think of the kinds of shoes you will need: emphasis on the word need. A lot of times we may have a wonderful pair of sandals or pumps that really make an outfit rock, but you just wouldn’t want to wear them on cobblestones, on long walks, or in cold rooms.

Pare down your travel shoe wardrobe to one of each kind of shoe you absolutely need. If a dress or outfit you planned to bring along requires a pair of shoes that go with nothing else, you may want to re-think whether to bring that dress or outfit along with you.

I also want to encourage you to bring along one of my favorite must-haves for any type of travel, and that is a large pashmina shawl. It will keep you warm on airplanes, in air conditioning, is an elegant cover-up for almost any outfit – dressy or casual – and a good one (with a high pashmina or cashmere thread count) won’t wrinkle.

Your Budget

A lot of us will be living on a more restricted budget when we retire and hence spend less on clothes. That’s the good news. But the down side – and this is one of the main complaints I get from clients – is that there are fewer things for older women that are fashionable or forward.

The reality is that designers are creating merchandise for a younger demographic, one that spends more money every season.

But let me disabuse you of the notion that you can’t find anything appropriate or fashionable that is suitable for your age and time in life. Just think of the things that you have worn or are now wearing that you loved and consider why you loved them. Was it the color? The silhouette? The fabric? The pattern?

If you stick with those favorite elements you can still build a lovely retirement wardrobe of age-appropriate, and more importantly, personal style-appropriate, clothing. Your accessories can liven up any outfit and take it fashion forward.

So let me put this idea out there. Consider buying less, but buying better. You don’t need a lot of things in your closet. You just need a closetful of things you absolutely love. When something you have loved and worn to death is starting to look tired, replace it with something very similar but of higher quality.

Yes, unless you are an expert shopping sleuth you will likely pay more. But I guarantee that when you wear that higher-end item, even if you wear it repeatedly, you will feel fabulous every single time. It’s a real mood elevator. It says, “I deserve this. I’ve earned it.”

And if you have champagne tastes and a beer budget, vintage and re-sale shops often have fabulous high-end things in better fabrics than anything you could buy new.

These two women are expert vintage and resale shoppers. They explain about what to look for, what to reject and why, and how to clean or repair vintage items so that they can look like new. And here is my article about where to shop online for quality clothing at a bargain.

What Is Important to You?

Lastly, the big question is: do you still care as much about what you wear and how you present yourself to the world? It can be very liberating to no longer feel the pressure to put forward your most professional self, day in and day out.

If you are retiring to a place where extremely casual dressing is the norm, you can let go of any pretense of “dressing for success.” Regardless of where you will be living, a curated, simple, and delightful retirement wardrobe can actually bring a sense of great relief.

Are you retired now? What does your future retirement wardrobe look like? How has the pandemic affected how you plan to dress in the future?