Melissa Gorga’s Striped Ruffle Romper / Dress in Lake George

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 11 Episode 4 Fashion

Melissa Gorga’s striped ruffle romper in Lake George may have had you thinking it was a dress upon first look. However, this super cute piece is actually a playsuit by a brand that we’ve seen on quite a few of the ‘Wives during this trip. Unfortunately the piece is sold out and it’s hard to replicate, much like the woman who’s wearing it.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Vici  Romper Sold Out

Originally posted at: Melissa Gorga’s Striped Ruffle Romper

Marie’s son was distraught. He had told his mother he would have the doctors do everything they could – but now they were saying that they didn’t know how long she would be able to breathe on her own without the tube, nor did they know how long she might last if the machine continued to do most of the breathing for her.

Marie looked so sad as she lay in the hospital bed, a breathing tube in her mouth, oxygen mask on, and wired up to all different kinds of machines. Her son at her side, he could see she didn’t want all these wires around her. She was very weak, suffering from a terminal illness, and only able (sometimes) to nod her head slowly or shake it gently from side to side to make her wishes known.

The doctor tried to find out what she would want – to have the breathing tube kept in place or to have it taken out.

Her son knew he had to make a decision for his Mum, but found it hard without being able to hear her opinion. Eventually, he could see a faint nod of her head when she responded to the doctor’s clear question “Do you want me to take the breathing tube out, no matter what happens?”

The doctor did respond to Marie’s wishes and took the breathing tube out. She passed away peacefully the next afternoon, with her family by her bedside.

This family was lucky; their mother was still able (just) to communicate her wishes. But so much of this could have been different and more dignified if she had had an advance directive in place.

What Are Advance Directives?

Called slightly different names in different countries, an advance directive (aka living will, or advance healthcare decision) allows you to state in advance what kind of treatment or non-treatment you would like to receive towards the end of your life.

The directive is a record of a decision you have made yourself, to be used later if you lose your mental capacity. Hopefully, of course, it will never have to be used. It may or may not be a legal document in your country or state.

Without one, your power of attorney (if you have one) may not know what you would like to have happen, should they need to make decisions on your behalf. But there are a few other things that are necessary to think about before you can make your advance directive.

Here are five points to keep in mind:

Values

What are the values you hold dear in life? If you don’t know what these are, it will be much more difficult to make decisions relating to the end of your life. For instance, Debbie knows that God will take care of her no matter what, and it is not her job to interfere in anything the doctors say, as they know best. It’s important she communicates this, both to her family and her doctors.

Comfort for Family

An advance directive helps your family because they know they are carrying out your wishes. Even if it is hard for them to come to terms with what you have said you want, it brings some comfort to know they are able to take care of you in this way – even if that means allowing you to die. The Advance Directive will tell family, friends, doctors and nurses under what conditions you would want to be kept alive or not.

Costs

Time and money can be saved. If you have the courage to face up to the fact that one day your life will come to an end, and act on this, not only will you benefit, but others will too. It has been shown that those who prepare advance directives are likely to use fewer medical resources, saving everyone time and your family or the government money.

Knowledge

It will prove invaluable to your Welfare Power of Attorney. This is the person who may need to act on your behalf if you are incapacitated for whatever reason and cannot do so for yourself. A directive helps them to know what you would have wanted if you could have said so yourself.

Sense of Control

No one really knows how their life will end, of course, but for most people it is not suddenly. It gives you some sense of control. That means you are likely to have a period where your advance directive instructions could be very useful.

It seems a sensible idea to do this, and yet most people don’t do it.  Many don’t even know what an advance directive or living will is.

I know how important this is because my husband had answered a few questions I had asked him well before he was on his deathbed. You can read about these in my book Gifted by Grief. However, at that time, I didn’t know about living wills or advance directives, and we did not cover every situation. I believe the ending of his life could have been easier had we done this together.

But now you do know about this, and I suggest you take action and move towards completing an advance directive for yourself, and help to avoid Marie’s situation.

Take my Before I Go quiz and discover for yourself how well-prepared you are in every way for your end of life – or not!

Note: If you want more information or inspiration on the topic of advance directives, the author runs a regular “Get Your Advance Directive Done” online Masterclass.

Have you prepared an advance directive? Have you experienced a death with a friend or family member where an advance directive would have been useful? What considerations have you taken into account for your wishes? Please join the conversation.

March is Women’s History Month, and there are so many women to honor who’ve carved an important place in history. This month, I choose to highlight someone whose writing has personally changed my life: writer Anaïs Nin.

A Passion for Writing Is Born

Nin was many things to many people: friend, lover, author, philosopher, psychologist, and diarist. In many ways she was a Renaissance woman, fascinating in many areas. As a French-Cuban author, she was best known for her published journals that spanned 60 years.

As was the case in my own life, a traumatic event triggered her passion for writing. When she was 11 years old, her father left the family for a younger woman. Anaïs’s journals began as a letter to him, and as time went on, those pages became her best friend, confidante, and a crucial part of her everyday life.

This is what she said about her diary: “[It] deals always with the immediate present, the warm, the near, being written at white heat develops a love of the living moment. One thing is very clear – that both diary and fiction tend toward the same goal: intimate contact with people, with experiences, with life itself.”

A Dept of Feeling

I admire the candor with which she wrote. Her words strongly embodied her deepest sentiments, so much so that readers experience similar feelings. When I wrote my first poetry book, I dedicated it to her and called it Dear Anaïs: My Life in Poems for You.

In my introduction, which includes a letter to Nin, I conclude by saying: “You have taught me the intrinsic value of the written word, how to dig deeper into my emotional truth, and the importance of having love in my life. And for this I thank you.”

Here is one of the poems from my collection:

Love Chains

During the yearnings
of my youth, I dream
of the multi-colored love chains
crafted for boyfriends
from gum wrappers ripped in half,
folded four times and woven together
to their height, and ceremoniously
presented as a souvenir of our love,
until dentists shouted that too much gum
rotted our teeth. The sugarless kind
had boring wrappers. In return, the guys
gave us silver bracelets engraved
with their names, and we swore
not to lose them, as our fragile
adolescent wrists were weighed
down with the chain of silver, stamping
us for taken, as if the hunk of metal could
ever stop young wandering eyes.

Nin’s Role in Women’s History

In addition to journals, Nin also dabbled in writing novels, short stories, and erotic literature. For a time she also busied herself with psychotherapy, inspired by her work with Austrian psychoanalyst Otto Rank, who had worked with Sigmund Freud.

What makes Nin’s work so appealing to women is that she provides profound insights into her own role as a woman, a sexual being, and an erotic spirit. This helps others define themselves and understand whom they’ve always wanted to become.

Her written voice is powerful and compelling, and the fictional female characters she created are quite strong. She was not a feminist, although I’ve heard that she was often invited to speak at women’s empowerment rallies and events.

A dear friend of mine, Tristine Rainer, a powerful and accomplished woman in her own right, was Nin’s friend and protégé, and their relationship left an indelible mark on Tristine. Often when I’m at lunch with my friend, she will quote what Nin would have said or done in a given situation.

Once I asked her to share the most important thing she learned from Nin, and she said, “I learned that a crazy young woman in her 20s can become a joyful, wise woman in her 60s. It was Nin’s belief that we can transform ourselves and our lives through self-creation. And that diary writing was a way to do so.”

Wisdom Legacy

Here are some of my favorite quotes by Anais Nin:

• Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.
• We don’t see things as they are, we see them how we are.
• Passion gives me moments of wholeness.
• The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say.

In summary, thank you to all you women out there who, through your writing, influences, and work, have empowered the lives of others. We stand on the shoulders of giants!

Do you have a woman role model? Who is she? Why do you hold her in such great esteem? How has she influenced your life and the lives of others? Are you an influencer? How do you inspire other women? Please share in the comments below!

If you’re anything like me, you reuse Glossier’s pink bubble pouch products come in until it won’t close anymore. It’s a great way to ensure the plastic you receive isn’t just single-use. But it only holds so much. Now, the brand has launched the big sister to the Pink Pouch: the Glossier Beauty Bag. It’s obvious a lot of thought went into the ultra-durable—and cute as hell—bag. Just wait until you see all the compartments.

The cotton exterior features the Glossier logo, as well as a front pocket. There’s the big zippered main compartment (tall enough to stand up Glossier skincare) and also a felt interior pouch with pockets for extra organization. Yes, that means your new beauty bag won’t be a black hole where it’s impossible to see what’s inside. This baby will keep you super organized so each Lidstar and Boy Brow has its place.

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Glossier.

The Beauty bag is also a great option if you want to cut down on plastic and skip the pouches altogether. When you check out, just select Limited Packaging at checkout. Or, use the pouches for any leaky products (sometimes I lose the caps!) and slip it right into your bigger bag. You’ll be so organized, you won’t even recognize yourself.

For a limited time, grab The Beauty Bag as well as The Makeup Set (Lash Slick, Boy Brow and Cloud Paint) as a bundle that’s $18 off retail. You can’t really beat that deal.