If I asked you to provide some reasons as to why many Boomers want to continue working in retirement, the most frequent answer would be, “for the money.” I don’t doubt that is the main motive, but I would like to further unpack the issue of Boomers choosing not to stop working.

What Does a Job Give Us?

Let’s begin by looking at what a job or employment adds to our lives.

Certainty, Predictability, and Stability

The income provides financial security, but the work hours and annual leave cycle add a structure and predictability that holds our lives together.

Constant Challenge to Our Capabilities

The best jobs challenge us, keep us on the boundaries of our comfort zone and furnish opportunities for learning. Jobs that allow for a measure of creativity will offer fertile soil for adventure, learning, and stimulation.

Identity and Social Standing

We have a work identity that informs the world around us who we are, by informing them about what we do, what we know, and our status.

Work Culture

The work setting often creates a set of norms and a jargon; together these form a culture to which we belong. With a good leader at the helm, we are made to feel that we are part of a whole that is moving towards a common goal.

Personal Growth

Work provides plenty of opportunities to grow and contribute to the world around us. Whether it involves going on courses, or simply learning on the job, many firms create a safe environment for us to learn and therefore to grow. We can then use what we have learned, to give back to the community around us.

Retirement Takes the Carpet Out from Under Our Feet

When we come up for retirement, literally overnight, all of the above are ripped out from under our feet, like the proverbial carpet. There is no predictability, stability, and security in endless unstructured weeks going forward.

We need to go out in search of stimulation and challenge, as well as a sense of belonging. Our identity is no longer written on the door of the office; we are suddenly simply a pensioner or retiree.

We have a whole new jargon of retirement to learn and, if we have come into retirement suddenly, we may be unprepared for this new culture. And, where will we find opportunities to grow and contribute?

Thus, many decide that continuing to work is the easiest way to restore the balance. And why not, if you have a decade or two of healthy living before you are too old and frail? So how do we set about ‘working’ in retirement?

Some Will Continue to Work at What They Know and Do Best

For many, fear of losing the above-mentioned freedoms and rights is sufficient incentive to continue working at what they know and do best.

They will look for contract work in the field they have recently left or even try to get an extension or a part-time contract in the firm from which they are retiring.

Some may go to another player in the industry in search of a contract. After all, they have valuable skills to offer, fine-tuned over many years.

Others May Break Out as Entrepreneurs

For others, their job may have become boring, they may have reached the top of the ladder or they feel they have little more to offer.

This is where many decide to step out and become entrepreneurs, working for themselves, at something that really ignites their passion or unleashes a previously stifled desire. This may involve a clean break or simply repackaging of skills they already have.

For more information on the unfolding of the entrepreneur in retirement, please refer to my previous blogs on Sixty and Me.

Some Become Mentors or Volunteers

Yet others, for whom money is not the priority, may offer their time as mentors or volunteers. At the end of a 40-year career, most of us have much to offer that will assist the younger generations. We can show them why they don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

The need to contribute seems to become stronger as we age. Maybe it is because we feel more pressured to leave our mark on this life, but I find that many women over 60 demonstrate a deep desire to make a difference and give back to the community around them.

Besides the Balance, Work Adds Meaning and Purpose to Our Longer Lives

In addition to the above, medical science has estimated that many of us will enjoy an extended number of years based on leading a healthy life.

If my genes are anything to go by, I stand a good chance of living into my 90s. As it happens, I have a strong desire to make those years meaningful for both myself and those around me, which is why I intend ‘working’ for as long as I possibly can.

How do you fill up your ‘retirement’ days? Do you work? What are your reasons? Please share with our community!

In a previous article, I discussed the connection of our first chakra, the Root Chakra, to grief. Our second chakra, Svadhisthana is our Sacral water energy center. Our tears of grief come from this chakra. Loss of our most beloved relationships and connections manifests in our Sacral Chakra.

In our Sixty and Me community, we all experience grief, loss, and transition. Our loved ones pass on, we lose jobs, home, relationships, our youthful bodies, and more. We all have experienced loss in this pandemic. We transition from who we were at 20, 30 or 40 to an older, wiser woman.

We can meet our losses with awareness and the wisdom already in our bodies, minds, and spirits. Using the chakras as our foundation, we can observe our imbalances and move – physically, spiritually, and emotionally – towards harmony. Even as we grieve so deeply, we can seek and discover a new state of balance. 

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” —Washington Irving

About the Chakras

We all have energy centers, or chakras, in our body. In Sanskrit, a chakra is also known as a wheel or disk of spinning energy. This energy corresponds to nerve bundles and major organs. Ideally, our chakras stay open and balanced, allowing them to function well. But life happens and we experience a myriad of shifts and changes.

When we go through grief, a loss, or a transition, our chakras can become unbalanced or blocked. These blocks can manifest as physical, emotional, or spiritual challenges. Without ease, we experience dis-ease.

“The chakras are very intelligent – they are like the software of the whole computer body.” —Dharma Mittra

Sacral Chakra Elements

This Sacral Chakra, Svadhisthana, is a vital force of energy located just below the belly button and at the lower spine. This chakra governs emotions, creativity, sensitivity, sexuality, intimacy, emotional well-being, and self-expression.

The element is water and radiates the color orange. The orange color is powerfully linked to our confidence, joy, and enthusiasm. Though how can we feel any of these emotions in our overwhelming grief?

Balancing the Sacral Chakra can help us reconnect with our true nature. It allows us to feel safe enough to establish connections that bring harmony to body, mind, and spirit. A strong and balanced second chakra can also help us get in touch with our desires and feelings that have been suppressed or long forgotten.

Connection to others is a major need. The main focus of Svadhisthana is to acknowledge our needs to be in relationship with others. Relationships are dramatically changed with grief, loss, and transition.

Second Chakra and Grief

Connection and passion are the key needs that Sacral Chakra meets. When Svadhisthana is blocked by emotional trauma, grief, or chronic stress, we are unable to connect with our passion for life. We tend to try to control everything and are unable to connect intimately or embrace deep self-love.

Our bodies respond to our congested emotions as unexplained lower-back pain and tight hips. By witnessing these physicals and emotional manifestations of our grief in our Sacral Chakra, we can attend to them with a deeper understanding. We aren’t crazy. We are grieving.

Hip-opening asanas teach us to loosen our grip on life and let things ebb and flow. Finding a sense of fluidity in our dailiness transforms all of our relationships, including our relationship with ourselves. Grief, like all of our emotions, is meant to move through our bodies, not get stuck.

Balancing Our Sacral Chakra in Grief

When the Sacral Chakra is out of balance, a person may experience feelings of fear, depression, manic or emotional instability, overwhelm, loss of imagination or creativity, sexual dysfunction, reproductive issues, and even addiction.

Other physical symptoms include pain and stiffness in the lower back and hips, sciatica, low back pain, urinary and kidney problems, constipation, and pelvic pain. 

Mindful awareness is a tool for healing the second chakra. A balanced Sacral Chakra creates feelings of abundance, pleasure, creativity, joy, fulfillment, and overall wellness. In our grieving journey, we don’t feel any of these qualities. We are in pain, deep sadness, and imbalance.

For a grieving person who has imbalance in their second chakra, it might be hard to feel any connection to others. The Sacral Chakra is connected to the element of water so nourishing your body, inside and out, with some delicious water will do your Sacral some good.

Keep your body hydrated and more Sacral Chakra-friendly by adding a couple of slices of orange. Taking a warm bath complete with orange essential oils or going swimming in a natural body of water will also help get your Sacral buzzing again.

Sacral Deficiency

A deficient Sacral Chakra can manifest as excessive negativity, cynicism, eating disorders, greed, material gain, excessive feelings of insecurity, constantly living in survival mode.

Other manifestations might include behaviors that are fearful, anxious, restless, and unsettled along with chronic disorganization, poor boundaries, poor focus, financial difficulties, feeling unloved, sexually inadequate, frustrated, fearful, shy, unsure.

Sacral Excess

An excessive Sacral Chakra can manifest in obesity and overeating, bossiness, dominance, big ego, greed, violence, cunning, hoarding, sluggishness, laziness, fear of change, and rigid boundaries. Fear might turn into greed and paranoia.

Unlocking and Opening Svadisthana Chakra

The Sacral Chakra is located right below your belly button, so any hip-opening gentle yoga poses will help get the energy flowing in that area. Identifying and working with our chakras on the grieving journey offers insight and opportunities to move with it. There are several ways to unblock your Sacral Chakra. 

Gentle Yoga

One of the ways is a moving meditation that focuses on opening the hips and sacrum. Practicing any type of very gentle yoga regularly encourages physical and mental strength to the body.

Butterfly

From a seated position, bring the soles of your feet together, close to your pelvis, allowing your knees to fall out to the sides. Ground your sitting bones and lengthen your spine. Hold onto the outsides of your feet and press the soles of your feet towards each other. And very, very gently pulse the knees towards the earth.

Happy Baby

Lie on your back. With an exhale, bend your knees into your belly. Hold on to the outsides of your feet.

Bent Knee Side Twist

From a seated position, bend your knees and keep your feet on the mat more than hip distance apart. Gently sway both hips from side to side.

Savasana – Corpse Pose

Rest your entire body comfortably on the floor. Extend your arms and legs outward from your torso evenly and symmetrically. Mentally scan the body from head to feet, gradually releasing each body part and each muscle group.

With each exhalation, imagine your limbs getting a little heavier and spreading out a little more. Let yourself be fully supported by the earth beneath you and let go of all tension in your body. With each inhale and exhale, remind yourself: “I am connected.”

Affirmations

Repeating positive affirmations helps set intentions to break old habits and create new ones.

• Life is pleasurable and I deserve it.
  • I grieve deeply because I have loved deeply.
  • I take pleasure in myself, my senses, and the world around me. 
  • I am like water in that I adapt, adjust, and find my way through all obstacles.
  • I am worthy of love and am loved by others. 
  • I allow my feelings and emotions to flow freely.
  • My connection to my beloved has only changed, not ended.

Positivity All Around

Grief is deeply experienced in our Sacral Chakra. When the Svadhisthana is awakened and energy is flowing freely, it brings positivity in all aspects of our lives. In grief, we are more blocked. A healthy and balanced Sacral Chakra creates an appreciation for a strong connection to ourselves and others. It is passion, connection, and flow.

Yoga for Living with Loss is a practice dedicated to meeting the grieving process through gentle yoga integrated with a study of the chakras. For more information and to access the Yoga for Living with Loss Video Series, please visit www.GrowingYoungerGracefully.com. 

What does yoga mean to you? Which type have you tried? Has yoga for grief helped you with your emotional imbalance after loss? Please share your thoughts and experiences with the community.

Jackie Goldschneider’s Pink Lip Color on the RHONJ After Show

RHONJ Season 11 After Show Beauty

For the Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 11 After Show Jackie Goldschneider decided to pair her dark smokey eye with a pink shimmery lip (I have the gloss and can attest it’s a 10/10 for the pretty colour and moisturizing abilities). So without further ado, scroll on down below so you too can get yourself the big (or mini) O. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop the NARS Mini Orgasm Lip Duo (we believe she’s wearing the gloss on top of the balm)

Click Here to Shop the NARS Afterglow Balm in Full-Size 

Click Here to Shop the NARS Oil-Infused Lip Tint in Full-Size

Click Here to Watch the Behind-the-Scenes RHONJ After Show Clip (the Season 11 After Show officially premieres on BravoTV.com next Wed, Mar 10)

Originally posted at: Jackie Goldschneider’s Pink Lip Color

I recently read the book Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven. This inspiring read is about lessons the author learned from basic SEAL training.

McRaven uses his experience to teach how these life lessons can help anyone become a better person and change the world. The book is short, direct, and moving.

After finishing this read, I thought about how we all are capable of these changes but don’t apply ourselves for many reasons. For some of us, it is harder as we age. We can lose direction or become complacent.

Others may think it’s too late to change. Sometimes I believe we need either a direction or a plan. Many times, we plan then get stuck moving to the next step. We are fearful to ask for help and we quit before we reach our desired goal.

If any of this sounds familiar you are not alone. We meet adversity each day because we run into these difficulties. We can get discouraged and stuck.

Don’t Have a Plan?

Begin with small things you can accomplish each day. McRaven talks about making your bed as a good way of starting the day with an accomplishment. It is easy to put off the small things in our life but why not do it now and have it done?

By accomplishing these little tasks, although they may not seem significant, you are creating a pattern of discipline. And the bonus is, you are not letting chores pile up and become overwhelming.

Sometimes you need to have a checklist to stay on track. You can establish habits over time but the point of doing these tasks is to set your attitude for the day and the future.

Don’t Know What to Do Next?

If you need help to plan for your future think about where you would like to see yourself in the next year. Perhaps you are thinking of a trip or volunteer work when Covid is no longer a factor. You may be creative and can begin a new venture into a different lifestyle with art.

Make notes of the steps you would need to take to move in that direction. Once you have the idea, take small steps each day towards that path. With each accomplishment add more to the plan, and before you realize it, you will have gained new habits and become much more organized.

Need a Helping Hand?

Speaking of planning, it would be prudent to mention that finding collaboration can be helpful. So often we try doing everything on our own. Either for fear of looking weak, or not wanting to hear another’s opinion, we miss opportunities to learn.

Remember, getting input does not mean you are to follow the advice. You are gathering information you possibly don’t see. Other people’s input can also make your task easier to achieve.

The power of having good friendships, according to a 2017 Harvard study, reduces stress, promotes better overall well-being, and is important to our mental health.

Do You Know Your Reasons?

So often we start a journey with great intentions and get derailed along the way. Changing our life is hard, and it’s easy to get discouraged and give up. Stop every so often and go back to why you started this plan. Remind yourself why it’s important to you.

Perhaps you need to adjust to continue. Many times, I see good intentions do not keep a person on track. They second-guess themselves and often will give up.

To help you understand that we all have these moments, I would recommend you read about some famous individuals who had to overcome many failures and rejections but kept true to their dreams and stayed on their path.

Take time to read about Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, JK Rowling, Jim Carey, Franklin Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Dr, Seuss, and Steve Jobs. I believe you will find them inspiring, and perhaps their stories will be helpful to keep you from giving up on your journey.

Begin today with the little things like making your bed to start the change for the future. Why not now? I will refer you to the quote from James Allen, “For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?”

So, why not you? What little things can you change in your day that will bring more positivity in your life? Do you have a plan for the next year? Do you find you are often second-guessing yourself? Please share your thought below, and let’s all join in the conversation.