Self-compassion. An odd term, perhaps, but a necessary one. We are too often willing to show compassion for others, but reluctant to express the same compassion for ourselves. We readily confuse self-compassion with a “woe is me” attitude, license to indulge in a pity party. But it’s not that at all.

Self-compassion is simply having the same caring and respectful regard for whatever is going on in your life as you would for someone else’s challenges.

Self-Compassion and the Pandemic

So, let’s say that through this pandemic, you’ve gained weight, or abandoned your exercise routine. Now that the world is slowly emerging – in fits and starts, granted, but emerging – from our enforced life-hiatus, you’re eager to get back on a better path for yourself.

How does self-compassion help you succeed at your new and better path?

You decide to embark on a weight-loss program. You’ll count calories, skip dessert and cut back on the vino. Day 1, you succeed at all three. You glow, victorious. Day 2, you forget to count the calories but skip dessert and wine. Sigh.

Day 3, you count calories, groan, soothe yourself with a cupcake and a righteous glass of wine. You feel miserable. Day 4, you’ve given up entirely. What the heck, you’re obviously a failure.

Wrong. You’re not a failure, you simply ignored the Three Golden Rules of Self-Compassion.

Rule #1: Make Missteps, Not Mistakes

You forgot to count your calories. You’re human, it happens. Another day, you soothed yourself by ignoring your self-determined plan. Again, you’re human. Instead of thinking of yourself as a failure, consider these events as missteps, not mistakes. A single step off the path. No big deal, because all it takes is another single step to get back on the path.

We do ourselves more harm by maligning ourselves than we ever do with the actual “mistake.”

Rule #2: Celebrate What You’ve Done Right

Whether you stuck by one item on your plan or all of them, celebrate those you did stick with. Celebrating means awarding yourself gold stars, or smiling at yourself in the mirror “Way to go” or however else you let your mind/body/heart/spirit know that you’re on the right track. Let go of what didn’t happen according to plan and appreciate what did.

Rule #3: Recover, Recalibrate, Restart

Having acknowledged that you made a misstep, which qualifies you as human, celebrated whatever you did right, however large or small, it’s time to move on. How?

Recover

Take a deep breath and tell yourself “I can do this.”

Recalibrate

What triggered your misstep? How can you either eliminate the trigger or substitute something other than food when you get triggered?

Restart

Start over again – as often as you need to. Just like when babies fall down while learning to walk, they simply get up and start over again. No fuss, no muss.

After a lifetime of working as a nanny, housekeeper and cook to various families, all the while raising her own three children, Man Kaur took up running in her 90s. Imagine how many times she must have had to recover, recalibrate and restart given her age, her bouts in the hospital with gallstones and the osteoporosis she suffers from.

Yet she did, time and time again. With that, she kept pursuing her avowed passion as a competitive runner. At 103, she took the gold at the 2019 World Masters Athletics Championships in her age category for shot put, javelin, 60-meter dash and 200-meter run. Truly amazing.

Self-compassion will greatly support the success of whatever your cherished goal as long as you remember: missteps, not mistakes. Celebrate your victories and to recover, recalibrate and restart as needed.

What are some of the things you most get down on yourself for? Have you started to set goals for yourself as the pandemic (hopefully) recedes? If so what? Please share below!

By the time you’re over 60, you’ve had at least one, maybe more, significant love relationships. If you’re reading this article, chances are good that you’re single now.

It’s a fact: Love brings both good and bad to our lives. Being in love is the most exciting feeling in the world and being out of love is just flat-out depressing. A broken relationship often leaves scars on your heart.

It’s just a fact that when you’ve loved and lost, sadness and regret might have taken love’s place in your heart. Healing heart boo-boos takes time.

We’re Neurologically Hard-Wired for Negative Bias

We remember the regrets longer, and with more intensity, than the joys in our lives. This bias can make you afraid to explore a new relationship. Though natural, this negative bias keeps you focused on what went wrong, instead of all the things that went right.

It’s Easy to Remember What Went Wrong

Negative bias makes sure of that. He always left the toilet seat up, he never brought you flowers, and he criticized you for gaining weight while ignoring his extra 10. Maybe he had difficulty admitting he was wrong or the words “I’m sorry” got stuck in his throat.

Don’t Let Old Wounds Keep You from Happiness!

It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing all new possible partners as “damaged” or new relationships as “broken” when any old patterns arise. While it’s wise to be aware of real danger signals, it’s also important to let a new relationship have some breathing room.

The Secret to Finding Joy in a New Relationship Is Hope

It’s okay to let a little hope into your heart. I’ll bet you’ve grown since your last relationship. I’m willing to bet that a wisely chosen new partner has grown from their past relationships, too!

Quick test: Name 3 ways you’ve grown as a person in the last five years.

You’re either growing or dying. Nature designs us to be driven toward growth.

Can you trust that many men who are single have grown as people, too?

Focusing on the Negative Defeats Hope

It’s easy to remember the things that hurt you: the harsh words, the stony silence, or the illness that took their life.

Can you remember the good things?

Can you remember the sweetness of your first kiss or the warmth of your hand in his? Was there a magical dinner or walk on the beach that made your heart beat in utter joy?

Take a Minute to Focus on Joy

Take a deep breath and remember two times when a relationship made you happy.

See? Those memories are there, too. Your mind uses negative bias to keep you safe. The irony is that the happy memories are the ones that are encouraging you to try dating again, right?

So, Let a Little Joy into Your Life

If you’re exploring the world of online dating, try remembering the joys of love before swiping past those pictures. This internal exercise not only brings positive energy to your search, it also makes it more likely that you’ll notice someone whose profile shows promise.

When You Smile, the World Smiles with You

Try smiling when you meet men at the grocery. Smile when you talk to a man on the phone. Joy has its own energy, and it feels really nice to receive it. Who would you rather date: The one who is smiling or the one wearing a frown? (Yes, I thought that’s what you’d say!)

Don’t Be Afraid to Fail

At our age, there is very little left to be afraid of. Seriously! If he’s mean and wears a frown, chances are good that you won’t want that second date. If he’s kind and handsome but too poor to buy you dinner out, you’re old enough to decide if you want to be the one who pays.

“The Only Thing to Fear Is Fear Itself”

Franklin D. Roosevelt famously concluded that we should only be afraid of fear. You can trust your intuition and your hard-won wisdom. All the life experiences you have had are at your disposal as you dip your toes into the dating world. Don’t let regrets steal your dreams.

Don’t Worry About the Extra 10 Pounds or the Wrinkles

Men your age have those, too! We’re all a little worn around the edges at this point in life. It’s who we are inside that shows on our faces now.

Let the Inner Beauty of Your Life Shine

Work your love muscles as you explore dating again. First thing in the morning and first thing at night remember something that brought you joy and smile. Smile a big, toothy smile and pull the edges of your lips up as close to your ears as you can. Cool science fact: smiling releases happy hormones called endorphins into your body!

Focus Your Heart on What Is Already Right in Your Life

Do you have your health? What about wonderful kids and grandkids? Do you have fabulous girlfriends that believe in you and think you’re awesome no matter what?

Are you a great friend? Have you been a caring mother? Do you want the best for the people you love?

When you remember who you are, you’ll see how beautiful you are.

What man wouldn’t want a loving, kind, caring person in their life?

Don’t Let Negative Memories Keep You from New Ones

You have a right to be happy. Sure, there are some cads out there, but there are lots of nice guys looking for love, too. Just remember that it’s completely okay to think that he might just be as wonderful as you.

What suggestions do you have for other women who are looking for love? What has worked best for you in the dating game of life? Please share with the community!

They’ve done it again. Just a few weeks after their Watermelon serum went viral on TikTok, Glow Recipe launched another product that’s set to blow up, too. The Glow Recipe Avocado Ceramide Recovery Serum was made for sensitive skin to soothe and calm redness, irritation and dehydration. Even if you don’t have dry skin, this can help repair a damaged moisture barrier that happens for all kinds of reasons and you might not even know it’s there.

All the acids we love, the BHAs and AHAs, the retinoids, can help unclog pores and smooth out the skin’s texture. But it can also leave your skin a little sensitized. That happens if you don’t use the right hydration with these types of products, or if you use them too often. Add in environmental damage like pollution and the sun and you’ve got a recipe for an effed-up moisture barrier.

Have you ever applied your normal daytime moisturizer or sunscreen and wondered why it stung? Yup, that’s that damage telling you it needs to be soothed. This serum can help.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Glow Recipe.

It targets dry, irritated, itchy red skin with Ceramide-5 to prevent and repair any discomfort. There’s also avocado butter and avocado extract, which acts as an antioxidant packed with Oleic and linoleic acids to smooth and moisturize. The addition of Allantoin helps continue to moisturize and protect the skin, while K-beauty favorite rice milk soothes and hydrates.

The vegan and cruelty-free serum fits right into your nighttime skincare routine because it’s lightweight and has no sticky texture. You can easily apply it under your heavier moisturizers for extra hydration. If you have oily skin, you’ll love the light feel under an oil-free lotion that won’t clog your pores. Then you can really get some beauty sleep.

They’ve done it again. Just a few weeks after their Watermelon serum went viral on TikTok, Glow Recipe launched another product that’s set to blow up, too. The Glow Recipe Avocado Ceramide Recovery Serum was made for sensitive skin to soothe and calm redness, irritation and dehydration. Even if you don’t have dry skin, this can help repair a damaged moisture barrier that happens for all kinds of reasons and you might not even know it’s there.

All the acids we love, the BHAs and AHAs, the retinoids, can help unclog pores and smooth out the skin’s texture. But it can also leave your skin a little sensitized. That happens if you don’t use the right hydration with these types of products, or if you use them too often. Add in environmental damage like pollution and the sun and you’ve got a recipe for an effed-up moisture barrier.

Have you ever applied your normal daytime moisturizer or sunscreen and wondered why it stung? Yup, that’s that damage telling you it needs to be soothed. This serum can help.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Glow Recipe.

It targets dry, irritated, itchy red skin with Ceramide-5 to prevent and repair any discomfort. There’s also avocado butter and avocado extract, which acts as an antioxidant packed with Oleic and linoleic acids to smooth and moisturize. The addition of Allantoin helps continue to moisturize and protect the skin, while K-beauty favorite rice milk soothes and hydrates.

The vegan and cruelty-free serum fits right into your nighttime skincare routine because it’s lightweight and has no sticky texture. You can easily apply it under your heavier moisturizers for extra hydration. If you have oily skin, you’ll love the light feel under an oil-free lotion that won’t clog your pores. Then you can really get some beauty sleep.

Ask any beauty lover the best lip balm out there, and they’ll give you a $1 drugstore option and the Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask. To say the balm is a cult favorite would be an understatement. It would only make sense the K-beauty brand would roll out a daytime version that’s lightweight but still ultra-hydrating. The Laneige Lip Treatment Balm is perfect under matte lipsticks, under a face mask or just alone over and over again. Allow me to explain.

As expected from Korean skincare, this lip balm isn’t just a lip balm. It’s packed with coconut oil to moisturize and lock in hydration, as well as peptide and adenosine to smooth out lip wrinkles and lightly plump. It also has this cool pearlescent shine that gives your lips some dimension. And the scent? It’s a light piña colada that feels cooling and has a minty smell.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Sephora.

Because products like this take some time, it’s likely the brand created this mess-free applicator before we all started washing our hands so much and keeping our fingers out of our mouths. The little plastic and rubber applicator is stored inside the lid so you won’t lose it. Now, it seems pretty genius to use an applicator instead of our germy fingers to apply lip balm. Not to mention, when you have long nails, it’s impossible to get product out of those little pots.

It looks like Laneige has another hit on its hands. Grab it above and say goodbye to chapped lips for good.