What I remember best about my friend is her playfulness. She was one of the few adults in my circle who really knew how to play. She enjoyed a long, fulfilling life despite many hardships along the way. I’ll always remember her joy and laughter.

Play Just for the Fun of It

Kids don’t need to be taught how to play. As adults, many of us have forgotten how. The best play is unstructured, without competition or rules to follow. It’s something we do just for the fun of it.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the old proverb, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” It can make for a boring life for Jill as well.

Play is an activity we get so engaged in, we lose track of time. It allows us to let our guard down, stop being so serious and just have some fun.

Play is good for mental and physical well-being. It enhances creativity and problem-solving as well as how we interact with others. Playing with problems can spark creative solutions.

Dr. Stuart Brown is the founder of the National Institute for Play. He suggests we surround ourselves with playful people because play can facilitate deep connections between people and cultivate healing.

He believes play is also key to discovering our inherent gifts. Brown says, “Play can generate optimism, makes perseverance fun, gives our immune system a boost, fosters empathy and promotes a sense of belonging and community.”

He warns that lack of play can result in health problems. Play deprivation has been connected to depression, stress-related illnesses, crime and addictions.

Play Comes as Naturally as Breathing for Kids

The artist Pablo Picasso said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”

Lucia Capacchione is known for her discovery of the healing power of writing and drawing with our non-dominant hand.

She says, “For us to be fully human, the child within must be embraced and expressed. An active and healthy ‘inner child’ is one of the best preventions for burn-out and disease. It is the source of humour, play and rejuvenation.”  

Art therapists know that expressing our feelings can help us feel better both physically and emotionally. The tools they use include journaling, painting, drawing, clay work and other art forms.

If you have seen the movie Big, you’ll be familiar with actor Tom Hanks stepping into the role of 11-year old Josh after he wishes to be in a grownup body. Hanks embodied his ‘inner child’ for that role and allowed himself to play on camera.

How to Rediscover Play

You can use your five senses to rediscover play. Your sixth sense, intuition, may also get a workout.

Ideas to Play with Your Ability to See

Go for a walk outdoors and identify how many different shades of green you see. You can also choose shades of red, blue, yellow, etc.

Get some paper, crayons, pastels or felt pens and draw a picture of a fun activity you enjoyed in childhood. Use your non-dominant hand. This helps eliminate any protest about not being able to draw.  

Watch people board a plane, bus, bike or other form of transportation and make up a story about where they’re going.

Ideas to Play with Your Ability to Hear

Put on your favorite music and sing along, or see if you can conduct the musicians. Go for a walk in nature and identify the sounds around you. Visit a junk yard or thrift shop and make a drum set from what you find – then play a beat as if you are Ringo Starr.

Ideas to Play with Your Ability to Feel

Book a massage or pedicure, and relax and enjoy it. Take a class in weaving or pottery. Walk barefoot along a sandy beach. Jump in and out of the waves and feel for smooth pebbles you can pick up and toss in the water.

Ideas to Play with Your Ability to Smell

Visit a local garden in bloom and breathe in the scent. Follow your nose into a bakery and buy the dominant aroma. Go to a Farmers’ Market and smell the tomatoes, dill and garlic.

Ideas to Play with Your Ability to Taste

Walk into an ice cream shop and ask for samples before you buy. Close your eyes while a friend places flavorful foods on your tongue to test your ability to identify them. Create a new soup from foods you already have in your kitchen. Keep tasting it until it seems just right.

Resurrect Play in Retirement

Sometimes people struggle with retirement without the structure of a job, a familiar routine or a career identity. We’ve not been trained for endless open and unstructured days.

Recall some of the imaginative things you loved to do as a child when the last thing on your mind was clock-watching. Choose to re-engage in that activity.

Embrace midlife as a time for new adventures and delightful possibilities. Letting your inner child out to play is a great way to stay young.

Perhaps you can enlist your friends or grandchildren to participate in a Play Day that you co-create together.

If you are stuck for ideas, ask the children to take the lead. Children are naturally creative, imaginative and resourceful. They draw, dance, sing, invent, write and discover as they explore the new world they’ve been born into.

Adults often become obsessed with looking good and being in control. We feel threatened by experimentation that could lead to making a mistake or looking foolish.

Revisit the natural curiosity and creativity you once enjoyed. Your inner child is waiting inside, hoping you’ll ask her out to play. Be remembered for your joy and playfulness.

How often do you play? What were your favorite playtime activities as a child? How can you recapture them now? Please share your best playful experiences in the comments below.

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t picked up a hula hoop since high school. But guess what—the former gym class activity is now a top trending workout on TikTok— but with a twist. Instead of those lightweight, plastic hula hoops, TikTokers have leveled up with weighted hula hoops.

When I heard about this new fitness trend, I tried to imagine giving it a shot and ultimately failing to even get the hoop around my waist more than twice. Frankly, if it were the only option, I’d probably burn more calories picking the hula hoop off the floor. Luckily for the highly uncoordinated, TikTok users have endorsed a weighted hula hoop that doesn’t require you to use gravity and skilled hips to keep it aloft.

TikToker Mariarma Saidyliegh demo’ed her weighted hula hoop journey using a smart weighted hula hoop from good old Amazon. It’s designed with a special waistband and it comes with a swinging hammer, which serves as your “hula hoop.” Welcome to the 21st century, guys. Instead of doing tons of crunches, you can put on your latest favorite show and hoop away. Now that’s the kind of multi-tasking I can get behind.

Weighted hula hoops also strengthen your core, back, hips and legs. Trust me, it’s more of a full-body workout than it looks. You can work your way up to doing it for 30 minutes but if you’re like me, you might need to start at 5 minutes until you start getting the hang of it.

In addition to the TikTok-famous hula hoop, we found another highly-rated option for shoppers on the hunt for something a little more classic. Happy hooping!

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Courtesy of Mige Tec.

Auto-Spinning Hula Hoop

If you aren’t particularly coordinated, like me, this is the hula hoop for you. You don’t have to worry about keeping the weighted hula balanced in air. You just attach this waistband around your waist and then start swinging your hips, then the weighted ball spins on a rope. Just make sure you’ve got a lot of space or you might hit something. It can be a little difficult to get into a good flow, but practice makes perfect. Some reviewers recommended wearing a shirt underneath the waistband because otherwise, it’ll pinch.

Buy: Mige Tec Smart Hula Hoop $29.85

Courtesy of BetterSense.

Traditional Weighted Hula Hoop

Try your luck and see if you can still hula hoop the old-fashioned way. The hoop can be assembled to make three different sizes, so you can make the one that’s right for you.  The 2 lb.-hoop is padded, so you won’t get bruised while hooping away. Plus, it’s currently 26 percent off. I love a good deal.

Buy: Better Sense Hoola Hoop $34.99

Releasing your kids to adulthood is a mixed blessing. You are both
proud and saddened. They are embracing maturity and that’s a good thing! But
your home will change after they leave, and that can be a confusing prospect.

Now is the time to prepare yourself
for these changes. While enjoying your kids’ remaining days at home, it’s
important to plan for what is to come
rather than simply ignoring it. Your
kids will be gone soon, therefore now is the time to figure out how
you will cope with the sadness of the new season.

Try the following 3 techniques to help you prepare yourself for an
empty nest.

Look Forward to Enjoying Your Newfound Freedom

While your kids are enjoying their freedom in independent living, you too can rejoice in your newfound freedom away from the kids and their limiting schedules.

You’ll be able to lounge around with your spouse without sharing the TV, and, once it’s safe to do so, host dinner parties on weeknights, take vacations during the school year, join clubs, or become more active in your church community.

This is the time to rediscover your interests. For so long, you’ve put your wants on the backburner. But now you can fully explore your interests and find a hobby that helps you feel needed, appreciated, and offers gratification.

Reconnect with Your Spouse

After raising the children for so many years, living alone with your spouse is something that may feel new to you again. Now is the moment to feel like newlyweds! Reconnect with one another on a deeper level than you have in the last 20 years or so.

Every night is date night! Make something special for dinner a few times each week and then go out on the town on the weekends.

Take the time to enjoy this milestone in your relationship. You’ve raised wonderful children together. You’ve succeeded as parents and have held a successful marriage. You’re living your dream – have a toast to your success!

Plan a Home Improvement Project

Properly planning a home improvement project takes time. Therefore, use the few months ahead while the kids are still at home to redo their bedroom once they have moved.

Turning their bedroom into a gym may be too much of a change. So, take baby steps. Maybe turn their bedroom into a guest bedroom. By doing so, you can comfortably accommodate both your adult children and guests.

Add a home office area to the bedroom so your kids can have a place to study when they come home on breaks. In addition, a simple armchair for reading, fresh paint, new linens, and accessories will make for a hotel-like retreat that guests can appreciate.

Generally, most teens won’t feel as if they’re being slighted when their childhood bedroom is given a makeover. If anything, they’ll feel better knowing that their parents are just as excited about the change.

In addition to all of the tips outlined above, plan ways to connect with your children while they’re away. Discuss how and how often you will connect. You might plan a monthly outing and a weekly Zoom call. Try to avoid placing too many demands on your adult child. It is unrealistic to expect a call every night!

It’s vital to remember that this is uncharted territory for everyone involved; it’s certainly a mixed bag of emotions.All you can do is try your best to look at the bright side and all of the benefits involved for your youngster. You aren’t losing a child; you’re gaining a young adult!

How are you handling the syndrome of the empty nest? Have your children flown out already or is the moment approaching? What are you planning to do with your life when there are no more obligations around your kids?

About five years ago, I decided to interview my mother about her relationship with my deceased dad. Enough time had passed, we shared more funny stories than sad ones. Since we lived 2,000 miles apart, we scheduled an hour most Sunday mornings to talk on the phone.

We recorded our conversations, and I transcribed her memories. Our project turned into my parents’ love story – one that ended 45 years ago. I made one print copy to give her as a Valentine’s Day gift that year. It stayed on her coffee table until she died a few weeks ago.

I’m so glad I wrote that story when I did, and I’m urging you to think about the idea, too.

The Cave Question

When I was asked to write Mom’s obituary, it was an easy assignment because I had come to know her so well. I could write many more chapters of her legacy since Dad’s death. But it was the love story that opened my eyes.

My mom was a pretty Iowa girl – a child of divorce who vowed never to get too attached, especially since she’d just landed a great job and was moving to New York City after the holidays. Dad was a hog farmer from Illinois. He was on leave from the Army and would soon be stationed in New Jersey.

Their paths had crossed before, but they’d been on dates with other people. At a holiday dance, they recognized each other, grabbed one waltz and promised to meet in New York City. After a short Big Apple courtship, Dad shipped out for Korea. Mom was lost without him.

As soon as she learned he was headed back to the Midwest, she packed up her New York City dream life and traded it for that of a hog farmer’s wife. “I knew I could live with him in a cave,” she told me. I wonder if she knows how many times I’ve asked myself, “Could I live with him in a cave?”

Facing a Fragile Future

At the same time I was writing Mom’s love story, my own was failing. After more than 30 years, the “cave” had become uncomfortable. We were good financial partners, but the trust and intimacy had eroded into ugly ruts.

I’m grateful now we were able to have a successful divorce, if there is such a thing. But deep in my heart what I really, really want is the kind of love my parents shared.

My siblings and I tell everyone what a great life Mom had: all the travel, a doting family, even luxury assisted living for her last days. But we acknowledge to ourselves that it wasn’t such a great life. Sadly, she never found true romantic love in the second half of her life.

Aging alone was one of the biggest reasons I didn’t want to be twice divorced. I watched Mom’s aloneness for 45 years. She was always active and surrounded by people, but true love? It didn’t find her again.

Finding True Love?

As I ventured into the dating world, I caught myself drawn to the same types: older, retired, secure. That was before I figured out I had to design the life of my dreams before I’d find the potential partner of my dreams. But here’s what really happened.

A date was late for a wine tasting. When it was over and I’d had double my share of wine, I popped into a pub to wait for my late date. I asked the man sitting next to the only open bar stool if it was available. He smiled at me and at that moment looked so vividly like my dad, I said, “Oh my gosh, you look just like my dad.”

I know – what a silly thing to say. But I like to believe Dad played a hand here. We sparked a friendship, then a romance and now a partnership. This summer we’re hitching his red pickup truck to my white and blue camper, and we’re pulling out for Mom’s Celebration of Life in Illinois. A camper isn’t a cave, but you get the idea.

At the graveside, we will read from Mom’s love story since it serves now as a family history. I hope my story encourages you to write your own or your parents’ love story. It’s a gift that lasts forever.

Do you know how your parents met? How their love developed? Have you asked them about it? Would you attempt to put it on paper for the generations to come? Would you think it will be inspirational? Please share your thoughts!

I was born on Mother’s Day more than six decades ago. I’m the mother of three and the grandmother of five, so in my family, this holiday is marked by many joyous celebrations. Each day I’m reminded to count my blessings.

It’s easy to think of May as a month to honor mothers; however, there are those who were born to moms who did not want them, those they were estranged from, or mothers who’ve passed away. For these individuals, Mother’s Day can be a time of sadness and regret.

Many Ways to Celebrate

Regardless, there is still cause for celebration. It can be a time to celebrate your mother for having given you life, which is a gift… and worthy of your gratitude.

Another way to celebrate this month is to spend some time mothering yourself by fostering a deeper connection with your inner child (and adult). You can do so by journaling, attending to your personal care – such as getting your nails and hair done, going to a spa (if that’s feasible for you), or just taking long walks in nature.

It could also mean spending more time engaging in activities you love and spending time with people who make you feel good about yourself – perhaps some of the female role models in your life.

Not a Mother at Heart

Although my mother did her best, given her personal circumstances, the truth is, she didn’t want to be a parent. My father was a Holocaust survivor, and because he’d lost so much of his family, he wanted to have at least one child, and that was me.

Because my mom wasn’t the stay-at-home type, after I was born she went to work as a ticket agent at the former Pan American Airlines. Through this job, she received free flights, which suited her just fine. I was left in the care of my maternal grandmother, who adored me. I gave her a reason for living.

Substitute

My grandmother, Regina Reinharz, was orphaned at the age of eleven during the cholera pandemic in the early 20th century. Because we spent so much time together, I was deeply influenced by her before she took her life when I was 10 years old.

She was my inspiration for becoming a writer, beginning with teaching me to type on her Remington typewriter, and writing my first poem and short story.

My first memoir, Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal,was inspired by our close relationship. For decades I’ve had a black-and-white photo of my grandmother on my desk. She continues to inspire me even though she died in 1964.

Passing It On

Now that I’m a grandmother, my hope is that my influence on my grandchildren will also leave an indelible mark. There’s something very unique about the love between grandparent and grandchild, as it is precious and completely unconditional.

So whether you’re a mother yourself, or just someone who was mothered, think about taking time this month to honor yourself, your ancestors, and moms all over the world. Visit dianaraab.com.

How do you honor yourself as a mother and grandmother? Can you say your mother was your role model? What lessons did you learn from her? Was/Is your relationship easy and loving? Please share with the community.