Kyle Richards’ Red Printed Fringe Kimono

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Instagram Fashion

Kyle Richards’ and friends took to the ‘Gram in a red printed fringe kimono for a lil’ rendition of their friend Erika Jayne’s song Ex$pensive, which I have also been known to sing on occasion. In turn, Erika reposted the video for us all to enjoy. And while the comment section had some mixed opinions on this (shocker), one thing we can all agree on is that Kyle’s kimono is totally on point.

The Realest Housewife,

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Click Here to Shop her PatBO Spotted Kimono

Photo: @KyleRichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Red Printed Fringe Kimono

The story we are telling ourselves is crucial to living our ThirdThird, ages 60-90, with grace and purpose.

Recently, I experienced a short period of being uncharacteristically melancholic. I am usually the one who is confident and optimistic and who can find the positive in most circumstances. I’m usually encouraging others to find the sunshine.

But I was in a funk. Questioning myself, doubting my choices, and generally feeling low. Not my usual approach.

I knew I needed to figure out what was up.

A Time to Reflect

I carved out time to think. I went to a place I would be uninterrupted. I took my journal and began to reflect over the past several weeks. How had I arrived at this sad place?

As I have been writing my next book of Mantras for Your BEST ThirdThird, I traveled back in time through my journals to a decade of hard lessons.

I was criticized and misunderstood in our small social community. The 1980s were not bright and cheerful years for me. I learned a lot of solid life skill in those days that have stood me well in the past several decades, but those lessons were not harvested easily.

As I revisited the challenging relationships I had had in my 30s, I sunk back a bit into thinking that I am a difficult person.

Who Am I?

In those same recent weeks, I started learning a new system of personality assessment and, guess what? The number I am on the enneagram is “sometimes hard to take.”

In a discussion group of women interested in learning more about our numbers based on the enneagram, others were described as helper, achiever, peacemaker, enthusiast… while my number is “challenger.” How unattractive!

I started to think of myself as difficult and unlikeable. So strange how these things sneak up on us!

The truth is that my approach to life and my personality have stood me well. I have true friends, more than two thriving businesses, respect from peers, and great love from my husband and children.

The Me in My Story

For a few weeks, I slipped into a common and easy place of telling my story from a negative perspective.

I saw myself as the Victim. Poor me. Misunderstood, not encouraged, stifled, and abused.

The story I was telling myself, reflecting back on a time of difficult growth, was factual. It is a fact that I have had people in my life who were not positive influences. It is true that I have a strong personality. But it is not true that my story is one of a life of missed opportunities.

I was framing my story, unconsciously, with myself as a victim, and it almost sidelined me.

Until I figured it out.

We are telling our story all the time, and we can choose to do it from a number of different points of view.

For a while there, I was the victim in my story, suffering from others’ lack of maturity and lack of understanding.

At times, I have been tempted to become the villain. Maybe I deserved the mistreatment? Maybe my own challenging personality repelled people and made me unlovable?

But, in all truthfulness, I prefer my story with myself as the Hero. The overcomer who learns and grows, survives and thrives.

The challenge we all have is to be alert to which story we are telling ourselves and to be proactively framing it to design the life we want in our 60s and beyond.

For me, it was an afternoon of reflection that got me back into my preferred cheerful and optimistic story. A few simple steps got me there.

Recognition

I realized I had slipped into a state of melancholy, and I knew I didn’t want to stay there. I needed some time and space to figure out how to get my feet back under me.

Reflection

Looking back, I considered my influencers over the past few weeks. Negative experiences are good to learn from, but they can still hold power over us if we are not alert.

Reaction

I made a list of the FACTS of my life with myself as hero… a long list of solid relationships and accomplishments that are good and that I am proud of.

Gratitude

Finally, I took a long walk and breathed deeply. I filled my mind with gratitude for all the lessons (hard ones and easy ones), for all the people (ones I’m glad to know as well as ones I’m glad to have in my history, not my present), for all the knowledge and wisdom and experiences that have brought me to HERE.

A few days after my day of reflection, one friend said I was “lighter.” An unsolicited comment that I am “sweet” made me smile (sweet!). A card in the mail thanking me for supporting a friend reminded me of the real me – the hero.

How are you telling your story today? Can you consider reframing it with yourself in a new role? If you tell your story with you as the hero how might that change your approach to life? Let’s have a productive conversation about the real people that we are.

The past year had many of us stuck at home as we worked together to stop the spread of COVID-19, which undoubtedly changed the everyday realities of most of our lives — including our favorite drag queens like Alyssa Edwards. Raised in Mesquite, TX, Edwards gained popularity from her appearance on Season 5 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” With her signature tongue pops, back rolls, and larger-than-life personality, this dancing diva has racked up over 1.8M followers on Instagram since her time on the show. 

Like many drag queens, Edwards turned to virtual drag shows to keep entertained during such a difficult time. While it was a great opportunity for her to stay connected with fans, Edwards says there is simply no feeling like being back on the stage. Most recently, she performed her limited-time one-woman show, Alyssa, Memoirs of a Queen, at London’s West End from June 7 to June 13. “I can say it has absolutely been sensational and a dream come true. Being back on stage again, moving again, seeing people live in person again,” Edwards told STYLECASTER. “The amount of energy that has been in this theater each and every night has been overwhelming.”

This was one of Edward’s first times back on stage since March 2020 and the show has received nothing, but positive reviews from fans and critics alike. “All the reviews were very positive,” Edwards said. “Something I teach my dance kiddos at Beyond Belief is ‘winning isn’t everything, but wanting to is’ so don’t ever let a judge validate your art.” 

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alyssa Edwards (@alyssaedwards_1)

This advice came in handy for her dance students at Beyond Belief Dance Company when a select few had the chance to perform on “America’s Got Talent” last month. The group performed a dance routine to Todrick Hall’s “Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” where they received a standing ovation from all four judges. 

Similar to how Edwards’ dance students had to prepare to perform on national television, she also has a special process to get her in the zone before a show.  “It starts with a mental get ready. Before I can be Alyssa Edwards, I have to sit in the mirror, get into my character, gather my thoughts, say a few prayers,” she said. “You got to feel the fantasy. I have to feel and embody this character before I can be it. I really really really have to get into it.” 

Before I can be Alyssa Edwards, I have to sit in the mirror, get into my character, gather my thoughts, say a few prayers.

This is the same mentality Edwards is trying to cultivate now that the world is slowly starting to get back to “normal.” As of late last month, the drop-dead gorgeous queen has partnered with Degree as the face of their Move Again With Degree campaign to help people get reacquainted back into society. The campaign fits perfectly with Edwards’ lifestyle as she is active and can always use a bit of extra protection from sweat whether it’s out on the runway or teaching a dance class back home in Texas. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alyssa Edwards (@alyssaedwards_1)

“The hashtag speaks for itself. #MoveAgainWithDegree it’s perfect for me being a dance teacher and stage performer. I’d love to be an inspiration to everyone,” Edwards says. “After this last year, we’ve gotta get up, get glammed, get glamorous, we got to feel our best to be our best. Put your deodorant on and get out and start moving again.” Oh, and in case you’re curious, her favs are Degree’s Dry Spray Shower Clean and Degree Men’s Advanced Protection.) 

 While every month is one to celebrate the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community, last month’s Pride festivities were the perfect excuse to celebrate with her friends and family. Side note: Edwards even takes her BBDC dancers on the floats with her — how sweet!

Similar to many L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ youths, Edwards also grew up insecure and uncomfortable in his own skin and identity, she’s finally at a place where she’s confident in her own skin. “There’s something so magical about accepting you, and all of you, and not just accepting, but celebrating,” Edwards said. “If I could tell little Justin something, I’d say, stay tuned because it’s going to get really good.” 

There’s something so magical about accepting you, and all of you — and not just accepting, but celebrating.

Now, given that we’ve learned most of our beauty tips from drag queens, we obviously couldn’t let Alyssa go without getting the lowdown on some of her beauty must-haves. First and foremost, Edwards loves Anastasia Beverly Hills — and I mean, who doesn’t. “I’m a fan of everything Anastasia Beverly Hills,” Edwards said. “The Dip Brow to me is next to none. It’s unmatched.”  Aside from the Dip Brow, Edwards can’t get enough of her palette collaboration with ABH, of course. With shades named after her dance company and iconic phrases, the eyeshadows bring Edwards’s character to life. (FYI: She told us that ‘Unicorn Tribe’ is her favorite!) Scroll through below to shop some of her holy grail products.

Courtesy of ABH.

ABH Dip Brow Pomade

Alyssa swears by this best-selling brow pomade for its intense pigmentation and long-wearing formula.

Courtesy of Fenty Beauty.

Fenty Beauty Body Lava Luminizer

This lightweight luminizer fluid gives the skin a natural-looking glow and never feels sticky.

Courtesy of Degree.

Degree Men Advanced Protection Antiperspirant Deodorant in ‘Cool Rush’

To help keep her confidence on point and her sweat at bay, Edwards trusts Degree’s 48-hour antiperspirants.

Buy: Degree Antiperspirant 2-Pack $15.85

Courtesy of Kryolan.

Kryolan HD Micro Foundation Mattifying Fluid

“Kryolan is perfect for the stage and it’s so full coverage and just melts right into the skin,” Edwards said.

The past year had many of us stuck at home as we worked together to stop the spread of COVID-19, which undoubtedly changed the everyday realities of most of our lives — including our favorite drag queens like Alyssa Edwards. Raised in Mesquite, TX, Edwards gained popularity from her appearance on Season 5 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” With her signature tongue pops, back rolls, and larger-than-life personality, this dancing diva has racked up over 1.8M followers on Instagram since her time on the show. 

Like many drag queens, Edwards turned to virtual drag shows to keep entertained during such a difficult time. While it was a great opportunity for her to stay connected with fans, Edwards says there is simply no feeling like being back on the stage. Most recently, she performed her limited-time one-woman show, Alyssa, Memoirs of a Queen, at London’s West End from June 7 to June 13. “I can say it has absolutely been sensational and a dream come true. Being back on stage again, moving again, seeing people live in person again,” Edwards told STYLECASTER. “The amount of energy that has been in this theater each and every night has been overwhelming.”

This was one of Edward’s first times back on stage since March 2020 and the show has received nothing, but positive reviews from fans and critics alike. “All the reviews were very positive,” Edwards said. “Something I teach my dance kiddos at Beyond Belief is ‘winning isn’t everything, but wanting to is’ so don’t ever let a judge validate your art.” 

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alyssa Edwards (@alyssaedwards_1)

This advice came in handy for her dance students at Beyond Belief Dance Company when a select few had the chance to perform on “America’s Got Talent” last month. The group performed a dance routine to Todrick Hall’s “Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” where they received a standing ovation from all four judges. 

Similar to how Edwards’ dance students had to prepare to perform on national television, she also has a special process to get her in the zone before a show.  “It starts with a mental get ready. Before I can be Alyssa Edwards, I have to sit in the mirror, get into my character, gather my thoughts, say a few prayers,” she said. “You got to feel the fantasy. I have to feel and embody this character before I can be it. I really really really have to get into it.” 

Before I can be Alyssa Edwards, I have to sit in the mirror, get into my character, gather my thoughts, say a few prayers.

This is the same mentality Edwards is trying to cultivate now that the world is slowly starting to get back to “normal.” As of late last month, the drop-dead gorgeous queen has partnered with Degree as the face of their Move Again With Degree campaign to help people get reacquainted back into society. The campaign fits perfectly with Edwards’ lifestyle as she is active and can always use a bit of extra protection from sweat whether it’s out on the runway or teaching a dance class back home in Texas. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alyssa Edwards (@alyssaedwards_1)

“The hashtag speaks for itself. #MoveAgainWithDegree it’s perfect for me being a dance teacher and stage performer. I’d love to be an inspiration to everyone,” Edwards says. “After this last year, we’ve gotta get up, get glammed, get glamorous, we got to feel our best to be our best. Put your deodorant on and get out and start moving again.” Oh, and in case you’re curious, her favs are Degree’s Dry Spray Shower Clean and Degree Men’s Advanced Protection.) 

 While every month is one to celebrate the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community, last month’s Pride festivities were the perfect excuse to celebrate with her friends and family. Side note: Edwards even takes her BBDC dancers on the floats with her — how sweet!

Similar to many L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ youths, Edwards also grew up insecure and uncomfortable in his own skin and identity, she’s finally at a place where she’s confident in her own skin. “There’s something so magical about accepting you, and all of you, and not just accepting, but celebrating,” Edwards said. “If I could tell little Justin something, I’d say, stay tuned because it’s going to get really good.” 

There’s something so magical about accepting you, and all of you — and not just accepting, but celebrating.

Now, given that we’ve learned most of our beauty tips from drag queens, we obviously couldn’t let Alyssa go without getting the lowdown on some of her beauty must-haves. First and foremost, Edwards loves Anastasia Beverly Hills — and I mean, who doesn’t. “I’m a fan of everything Anastasia Beverly Hills,” Edwards said. “The Dip Brow to me is next to none. It’s unmatched.”  Aside from the Dip Brow, Edwards can’t get enough of her palette collaboration with ABH, of course. With shades named after her dance company and iconic phrases, the eyeshadows bring Edwards’s character to life. (FYI: She told us that ‘Unicorn Tribe’ is her favorite!) Scroll through below to shop some of her holy grail products.

Courtesy of ABH.

ABH Dip Brow Pomade

Alyssa swears by this best-selling brow pomade for its intense pigmentation and long-wearing formula.

Courtesy of Fenty Beauty.

Fenty Beauty Body Lava Luminizer

This lightweight luminizer fluid gives the skin a natural-looking glow and never feels sticky.

Courtesy of Degree.

Degree Men Advanced Protection Antiperspirant Deodorant in ‘Cool Rush’

To help keep her confidence on point and her sweat at bay, Edwards trusts Degree’s 48-hour antiperspirants.

Buy: Degree Antiperspirant 2-Pack $15.85

Courtesy of Kryolan.

Kryolan HD Micro Foundation Mattifying Fluid

“Kryolan is perfect for the stage and it’s so full coverage and just melts right into the skin,” Edwards said.

Perhaps because my late husband was a pastor, some people
thought they were helpful after Tom’s death to tell me, “God needed another
angel in heaven.” (Wrong! I needed that angel beside me, not gone away.) Or
they said, “I know exactly how you feel. My grandpa died this year.” (Definitely
not the same.)

I wish they would have said, “I can’t imagine what you’re going
through now. Would you like to tell me about it? I’m a good listener.”

Clichés
aren’t helpful or comforting to a widow without her husband, her partner, the
love of her life. Here are several more phrases to avoid when talking with a new
widow, along with suggested alternatives.

“He’s in a Better Place Now”

People often try consolations such as, “He’s in a
better place now.” This phrase makes assumptions – about life, death, and the widow’s viewpoint. It might
not fit the widow’s spiritual beliefs. Don’t cause additional distress. Just
avoid this sentiment.

Better Alternative

Instead, talk to the widow about her husband. Share memories of
him, tell a story about a time you spent with him,
or an important value he cherished – such as caring deeply for his family.

Keep his memory alive. Even though her husband is
dead, she will continue to be in this new and changed relationship with him for
a long time; maybe even forever.

“It’s All Part of God’s Plan”

Attributing death to God’s plan can be upsetting or
offensive. First, you may make an incorrect assumption about a woman’s beliefs
and religion. Additionally, a widow may even question her own faith after her
spouse’s death.

Although your sentiment may be heartfelt, avoid
these platitudes to sidestep an uncomfortable or hurtful situation for the
widow.

Choose Your Words

Instead, say, “It’s hard to understand why death happens. None of
us know the answers. But I want you to know I’m here to help make this difficult
time easier for you if I can.”

“I Know What You’re Going Through”

Every person, marriage, and experience with death is
unique. You cannot understand exactly what a widow is experiencing, and it
isn’t productive or soothing to tell her you know her circumstances.

Try Acknowledgment

Instead, say, “It’s normal for you to feel confused, angry, or
stressed.” By recognizing her feelings and
reassuring your widowed friend or family member that her emotions are valid,
expected, and normal, you may calm some part of her distress.

A widow’s flood of emotions can be overwhelming.
Reassuring her that her state of mind is part of a larger grieving process can
give her hope that she will pass beyond her current deep stage of grief.

“You’ll Find Someone New; You Can Remarry”

The
pain of losing a spouse is immeasurable, and the prospect of sharing that
intimacy with a new person can be upsetting, frightening, or heartbreaking.
Talking about future relationships is not a good approach, and although some
may think it could cheer up a grieving widow, it’s likely to have the opposite
effect.

Encourage Friendships

Instead,
focus on the important friendships the widow enjoys in her life. Her current
network provides the solid, uncomplicated support she needs.

“You are
fortunate to have many good friends. Their support will help you through this
difficult time. Take them up on offers to help, get together for lunch or
coffee, or go for a walk. They want to be there for you, like you would be for
them.”

“You’ll Be Even Stronger in the Future After This Experience”

Early
on, the widow is just getting by –
hour to hour at first, gradually making it through an entire day. Whatever
might be in the future is impossible for her to visualize soon after her
husband’s death. The love, joy, and happiness are gone, and she doesn’t have a
clue how she can be stronger in the future.

A New Kind of Relationship

Instead,
talk about how death isn’t fair when it comes. “It’s really so difficult now
because you loved your husband dearly during his lifetime. Yes, your
relationship is certainly quite different now that he has passed, and I know
your love for him will always last.”

“Call Me If You Need Anything”

Although
your intention is heartfelt and sounds caring, don’t put the burden on the
widow to reach out to you. She already has much on her mind and may not be
thinking clearly at first.

This
statement is also very open and nonspecific. She’s probably in an emotional fog
and may not even know what help she needs from you. She also might feel
uncomfortable asking for assistance. It could be hard for her to pick up the
phone to call.

Take the Initiative

Instead,
say, “I’ll contact you on Thursday so we can schedule time to catch up over a
cup of coffee or a glass of iced tea soon.” Do the widow a favor by suggesting
a date and time. When you make the call, be sensitive to her emotional state.

Make sure
she’s comfortable with setting a time and place to talk. If you can, offer to
help with activities that seem overwhelming. For example, you might offer to
accompany a newly widowed friend on a trip to her estate attorney’s office if
that’s helpful.

Just Say Something

Regardless of what you say to a widow, it’s most important to
say something. Acknowledge that her spouse is dead. Don’t avoid the topic. Talk
about something you admired about her husband, or how you enjoyed sharing
conversations or an activity together.

People often side­step the topic of death altogether which can
be hurtful to those who are grieving. Your words and expressions are critical
to show that you care and are supportive in her grief. And use his name in your
conversations. Widows don’t want the world to forget their late husband.

What statements have you heard conveyed to new
widows? Which of them do you think have the opposite of the desired effect? Do
you have any practical tips to share? Please do so in the comments below.