In earlier stages of life – adolescence, young adult, midlife – our life focus usually is prescribed by society and family values. Thus, we generally know what is expected of us. For example, upon graduation from high school, we go on for more education/training/apprenticeship.

Admittedly, some of us may have been rebels, but in the end, most of us followed the norms, albeit stretching those norms just a bit as our generation has been known to do.

Then, we arrive at our 60s and 70s and face some of the most momentous transitions of life, such as children leaving home, divorce or loss of a spouse, and retirement. What do we have to turn to for guidance? As one woman said, “(it) feels like nothing else is left in life. So, now what?”

There is little if any historical context for what a normal life is for a vibrant woman today in her 60s, 70s and beyond. We are the most well-educated, self-sufficient, vital elder women ever in history.

We are the generation of women who opened education and the professions to women… in droves. So, who are we now? We are at the head end of reinventing what is meant as retirement. That is the bottom-line answer to “Now what?”

The gift of our years of wisdom is knowing we make a difference by being true to ourselves. Ultimately, as a generation of women, that will blend into our generational legacy. Thus, our individual answer to “What now” is found by going within.

See the Wise Woman article series for tips on developing your inner voice of wisdom. If we look to society for the “answer,” what do we see?

Society’s Message

Take some time to notice how women of our generation are portrayed in the media. Relative to men, elder women are seemingly expected to fade away. I hope that inspires you to find your fire to change that, at least in your life.

We certainly are not represented equally with the men of our generation as participants in media, movies, magazine covers, organizational leadership, recognition for accomplishments, etc. etc. Susan J. Douglas does a great job of discussing this in her book, In Our Prime.

In advertising you do see us… in pharmaceutical ads, in cosmetic surgery ads, in some cosmetics ads. Is the idea to invest in not showing our age – so we don’t fade into the background so quickly? What does that imply? Is THAT what is next?

I think not.

I am not saying that looking our best is not important; of course it is. However, that is not a life purpose.

We also are seen walking on the beach, nestled reading a book, and playing with grandchildren. These are all wonderful activities to be treasured. Do they answer the “Now What?” question… really? For some, that may be the case.

For many others, it does not. Remember, we may be in our retirement years for as long as we worked. Grandchildren will grow up. How many beaches are there to be walked and golf games played?

What do you see when you go to the mall? For the most part, stores target the youth or family purchaser. Yet, according to an AARP study, the over 50 population in the US would be the third largest economy in the world by GDP. Our generation of women make up a significant part of that economy. So why is that economic power ignored? What message does that send to us (and others)?

So, if you are looking for the answer to “Now What?” from society, don’t. It is not the truth. It is biased. It is driven by the search for profit. It is not who we are. It is up to us to change that by finding our own “Now What.”

Purpose Revisited

We are back to the importance of purpose in your life. A previous article discussed the importance of purpose to your health, well-being and longevity. Legacy is another very good reason to live on purpose.

When you listen to yourself to discover and create what energizes you, you become more powerful and alive. You blossom. Others see this. You have more impact. It does not have to be a world-changing endeavor. I’ll offer an example.

At one point, I knew that to be my most present and powerful self, I needed to remove alcohol from my life. I made that decision. Modeling that decision has influenced a variety of women in my social circle and my family as they notice the change in me.

Improving your health and fitness or becoming involved in community activities can inspire others as well as make a positive difference in the world. The possibilities are boundless. Do what is calling you. You know what it is.

You are an inspiration; you are an influencer. Do you realize that?

So, I invite you to flourish in whatever way inspires you. You will impact those around you and will join our generation of women as we transform the influence and role of elder women in the world.

I hope this sparks some discussion.

Have you ever asked yourself “What now?” What power have you discovered in yourself in our phase of life? What legacy do you want to leave to the generations of women who follow us as elder women in our society?

We’ve seen a lot of wild beauty trends over the years. Remember squiggly brows?! Some of the actually useful ones involve using unexpected items to make our lives easier, such as tape to guide eyeliner application. But what about the new TikTok trend of using lube as makeup primer? Yes, like personal lubricant often used during sex. Folks on TikTok are putting it on their face before applying foundation, as well as mixing it with their favorite complexion product. The results are mixed.

For some, it smoothes skin and allows makeup to apply evenly without bumps and flakes. It worked for TikToker @seananthonyv who said in a viral video, “You need to start mixing your lube with foundation. It makes it glide extra smooth.” @MannyMUA733 tries it, too. Both guys look great, though Manny notes his foundation is sure not to last even a few hours. Then you’ve got @itsrady who included it in her “best makeup hacks” video. What is going on?!

It looks like most of these creators used a silicone-based product to get a glowy, radiant finish to their foundation. As @glamzilla notes in her video, you can get the same effect with your favorite serum. Strangely, we saw @mikaylanogueira try it as well but the video seems to have been taken down. She used a water-based lube and did not like the process or the finished product. She said she gets a better glow from her favorite Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow.

Basically, there’s a chance this will work for you. But with all the stellar makeup primers on the market, what’s the point? Except for a fun TikTok, of course. Blair Murphy-Rose, MD, FAAD is a board-certified cosmetic and medical dermatologist at the Laser & Skin Surgery Center of New York and clinical instructor of dermatology at Weill Cornell Medical College, tells STYLECASTER that lube can even be harmful to your skin.

“First and foremost, not all lubricants are the same and what may work fine as a facial makeup primer for one person could be irritating or breakout-inducing for others,” she says. “Some are oil-based and can clog pores. Others, like those with concentrated glycerin, can leave a sticky residue that may attract bacteria and debris, promoting acne.” Eek! You do not want to deal with that.

Murphy-Rose says using lubricant might be fine as primer in a pinch (though we’re not sure what situation that would be!), she definitely doesn’t recommend it for regular use. Though “water-based lubricants are least likely to clog pores and hypoallergenic products will be least likely to irritate skin,” she notes.

Lube as primer might be a funny TikTok trend, we’d stay skip it to keep your skin healthy. There are also great radiant primers on the market, including Neutrogena Healthy Skin Radiant Primer + Serum ($17.99 at Ulta), Ilia True Skin Radiant Priming Serum ($52 at Sephora) and Wet n Wild Photo Focus Dewy Face Primer ($5.99 at Ulta). Save the lube for the more sexy things.

We’ve seen a lot of wild beauty trends over the years. Remember squiggly brows?! Some of the actually useful ones involve using unexpected items to make our lives easier, such as tape to guide eyeliner application. But what about the new TikTok trend of using lube as makeup primer? Yes, like personal lubricant often used during sex. Folks on TikTok are putting it on their face before applying foundation, as well as mixing it with their favorite complexion product. The results are mixed.

For some, it smoothes skin and allows makeup to apply evenly without bumps and flakes. It worked for TikToker @seananthonyv who said in a viral video, “You need to start mixing your lube with foundation. It makes it glide extra smooth.” @MannyMUA733 tries it, too. Both guys look great, though Manny notes his foundation is sure not to last even a few hours. Then you’ve got @itsrady who included it in her “best makeup hacks” video. What is going on?!

It looks like most of these creators used a silicone-based product to get a glowy, radiant finish to their foundation. As @glamzilla notes in her video, you can get the same effect with your favorite serum. Strangely, we saw @mikaylanogueira try it as well but the video seems to have been taken down. She used a water-based lube and did not like the process or the finished product. She said she gets a better glow from her favorite Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow.

Basically, there’s a chance this will work for you. But with all the stellar makeup primers on the market, what’s the point? Except for a fun TikTok, of course. Blair Murphy-Rose, MD, FAAD is a board-certified cosmetic and medical dermatologist at the Laser & Skin Surgery Center of New York and clinical instructor of dermatology at Weill Cornell Medical College, tells STYLECASTER that lube can even be harmful to your skin.

“First and foremost, not all lubricants are the same and what may work fine as a facial makeup primer for one person could be irritating or breakout-inducing for others,” she says. “Some are oil-based and can clog pores. Others, like those with concentrated glycerin, can leave a sticky residue that may attract bacteria and debris, promoting acne.” Eek! You do not want to deal with that.

Murphy-Rose says using lubricant might be fine as primer in a pinch (though we’re not sure what situation that would be!), she definitely doesn’t recommend it for regular use. Though “water-based lubricants are least likely to clog pores and hypoallergenic products will be least likely to irritate skin,” she notes.

Lube as primer might be a funny TikTok trend, we’d stay skip it to keep your skin healthy. There are also great radiant primers on the market, including Neutrogena Healthy Skin Radiant Primer + Serum ($17.99 at Ulta), Ilia True Skin Radiant Priming Serum ($52 at Sephora) and Wet n Wild Photo Focus Dewy Face Primer ($5.99 at Ulta). Save the lube for the more sexy things.

Image credit: apple.com

What is a Ted Lasso? Just sunshine in a tracksuit.

Maybe you didn’t read all the best of 2020 TV lists, so you didn’t see Ted Lasso on every single one of them. Or you did read the Wiki page which says: “an American college football coach who is hired to train an English soccer team blah blah blah…” and then you were out.

I get it.

But, FYI, you’re doing yourself a huge disservice if you’re not a Tedhead like me. The show was a beacon in a very dim year and Ted himself is a standard of kindness I will never attain. However, in that same GPS of thoughtfulness, here are 3 reasons why I am kindly ordering you to give yourself the gift of Ted:

2021 Emmy Winner for Outstanding Comedy

I am finally not the only one to know Ted Lasso is uber well written and smart funny, with a huge side of heart.

The whole fish out of water and landing on a UK pitch plotline could have been done paperthin and cliché all the way. Instead, they took a character Jason Sudeikis created in 2013 as a promo for NBC Sports and made him this side of saintly.

But here’s the thing – you don’t hate him for it! Ted’s not a flat caricature of positivity no matter what; he’s just chosen to see the bright side of everything and everyone.

Does he annoy those around him with his constant optimism? Obviously! But then he wins them over. Curse his goodness!

The thing is, EVERY character has been crafted with equal love. Every character is a person you recognize, would like to be besties with, or want to hit very hard. These are not your usual lazy, only seen on TV peeps.

Even if they begin as common archetypes – the woman bent on revenge, the hotshot bully – it’s only to challenge your perception as they pop out from their 2D form into complicated individuals. And the football players don’t all gel into a uniformed lump but are sharply defined, hilarious, real.

The dialogue? EXCEPTIONAL.

I give huge props to the Ted Lasso writing team. They took this common concept and made it easy breezy and spotlight bright while addressing real issues. As well, the many configurations of male relationships are remarkable. Don’t worry, no spoilers here but you are given all the feels.

Emmy Award Nominated and Winning Actors

Exactly why are we so devoted to these beautifully scripted characters? Because Ted Lasso has an incredible cast, and every actor is the bomb dot com. Don’t take my word for it, ask the 2021 Emmy committee.

The show was nominated for a first season record of 20 awards, including seven for the acting category alone.

Emmy award winning Jason Sudeikis inhabits Ted so beautifully, he makes his 70s porn mustache look friendly, not tragic. And while he is regularly mistaken for a human Golden Retriever, he is far from an idiot.

Assistant Coach Beard is both Ted’s balance and his longtime friend; Brendan Hunt makes him zen with a strong twist of quirky. Visual: sequin palazzo pants.

The AFC Richmond side is represented by the statuesque villain boss Rebecca, her apologetic minion Higgins and famous for being famous Keeley Jones. And we can’t forget Nathan, the timid kit manager or Roy Kent, the old, jaded captain of the team.

Formula much?

Not one bit.

Hannah Waddington just won an Emmy for her vulnerable portrayal of a woman who’s been publicly humiliated. She “beat” Juno Temple, whose Keeley is the hot girl, but this hotty is sharp-witted and wonderfully good-hearted. Jeremy Swift’s Higgins is a softy and has a family of five boys with the love of his life. Uber awkward Nathan, aka Nate the Great, aka Nick Mohammed, transforms because of Ted’s warm regard.

But for me, it’s Emmy winner and show writer Brett Goldstein… words cannot describe HOW MUCH I love his Roy Kent!

“He’s here, he’s there, he’s every f*%king where… Roy Kent… Roy Kent…”

As the show’s breakout actor after he put himself up for the role, Brett portrays the transition from star footballer to civilian with depression and rage and so much compassion for this character. He glowers and sometimes just growls instead of talking.

LOVE.

But, spoiler alert here, there is much more to Roy Kent than his misanthropic persona and every layer is more endearing.

Yay!

The Female Friendship

Last but truly not least, the friendship that develops between Rebecca and Keeley, the only two major female roles, is so genuine and beautifully done.

In a show that’s necessarily steeped in testosterone and women could have been just scenery in lipstick and heels, Ted Lasso passes the infamous Bechdel test with ease. Not only do they have names, speak, and speak about something other than men, Rebecca and Keeley are women who support and raise up other women.

Intelligent and gorgeous, the writers have not pitted them against but drawn them toward BECAUSE they have so much in common and recognize each other as soul sisters, even though they are decades apart in age.

 #bless

These women are fully formed rock stars. They are loud and funny and generous, and I want to kill multiple bottles of wine with both of them. For the Ted Lasso writers’ room to have created these female characters in a show about an American coach managing a UK football team is beyond commendable.

For you not to watch it?

Beyond criminal.

Conclusion

What are you waiting for? Check out the year’s Outstanding Comedy Ted Lasso. It’s available on Apple+. Warning: for anyone who speaks Star Wars, season one is “A New Hope” and season two is “The Empire Strikes Back.” I will say no more.

How do you feel about kindness, on your screen and in real life? Is anyone here a Tedhead? Are you a Ted or a Ted wanna-be? What other comedy shows have you enjoyed this past year? What did you like most about them?

Kyle Richards’ Bronzer at the Season 11 Reunion

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 11 Reunion Beauty

While Kyle Richards was talking to Andy Cohen before filming the RHOBH Season 11 reunion, her makeup artist @GlamByPamelaB appeared to be patiently waiting on the sidelines to apply her client’s bronzer. And by the same token just like us probably wanted to overhear the entirety of their juicy convo…

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Fenty Beauty Bronzer (We think she’s using the cream version!)

Click Here to Shop a Powder Version

Note: BBH’s Lauren and Lisa Barlow (as seen in this clip) use the powder version and love it!

Click Here For Info on Her Reunion Dress

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Bronzer