The female orgasm is suddenly in fashion this summer, if the number of newspaper stories is any indication. Like the British say about buses, you wait for ages for one and then three come at once.

Oh dear, that wasn’t meant to be a pun.

So, what were these stories all about?

The Movie

It started in June with a movie, with the unlikely title of Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. This is the story of a 60-ish-year-old woman, widowed for two years or so, who hires a sex worker to learn more about sex.

Her husband had been of the ‘do the business and put your pyjamas on’ variety, and she felt she had missed out. Why was there such a fuss?

Among other things, she tells the sex worker that she had never had an orgasm, but this was not what was worrying her. At least ostensibly.

The movie is not primarily about orgasms or even about sex narrowly defined. Most of it concerns the two protagonists talking. And talking. And, of course, sex happens.

But it is very much about sex in the sense of two people learning about themselves and each other through their mutual interaction and intimacy.

And it is very frank about the female orgasm.

I might add that I thought it was a very good film, conveying the complexity of sexual activity and its importance to our sense of contentment with ourselves.

The Study

About two weeks later, my newspaper of choice (The Times, London) ran an article by its science editor about a study of the female orgasm, being undertaken at the University of Ottawa.

What pleased me was that the study’s population, more than 600 women, were aged 18 to 82. It was great to see some recognition of the continuation of sexual activity into our older years.

The research seemed to be principally concerned with testing the accuracy of two ‘orgasm scales’, used to measure orgasms for their ‘subjective psychological aspects’.

These were, in turn, an ‘orgasm rating scale’ and a ‘bodily sensations of orgasm’ scale. The women were asked about their experiences to see how these tallied with existing understanding.

Among other findings, the study noted that the female orgasm, as shown on the large screen, is not the norm at all.

We do not necessarily moan or scream in When Harry Met Sally style. Such ‘copulatory vocalisations’ (wonderful phrase) were voluntary and did not correlate with female pleasure.

Who would have known? Who discusses these things with anyone? My close friends would know I am acquainted with sexual pleasure (and vice versa), but we have never explored the details.

New Nomenclature

And just when I thought the topic must surely be covered for some time, yet another study was reported, this time in August, from Charles University in Prague.

Using a blue-tooth vibrator (the mind boggles) to examine the internal reactions of 54 women, age unspecified, during orgasm, they found that the actions of the pelvic floor muscles varied considerably from one woman to another.

As scientists love to catalogue and name, these researchers came up with three different types of orgasm: the avalanche, the wave and the volcano. Each label corresponded with particular muscle fluctuation patterns at the time of orgasm.

It certainly makes you think.

The research is on-going.

So How Does This Help You or Me?

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t a clue how all this research helps the ordinary woman in the course of her day-to-day life.

Perhaps women who are in the habit of faking it will change their ‘copulatory vocalisations’, although this raises issues of what their menfolk have been led to expect. You do need a certain concurrence about expectations here.

Perhaps women with no experience of orgasm will learn how to manage, or indeed recognise, their orgasmic contractions more clearly. Yet this seems odd to me as such contractions are clearly involuntary (not in the sense of not wanted, but in the sense of not being within a woman’s control).

But I still have problems. As far as I am concerned, all these visible (or audible) manifestations of orgasm rather miss the point.

It is not the exact description of what any person’s body does that is most important, but the overall sensation of pleasure, intimacy and bonding associated with orgasm.

Not to mention the longer-term impact of the whole event on overall well-being.

In my view, the world is washed clean after sexual climax and your sense of being at peace is profound. Can anyone measure this?

Sex and the Older Woman

And if anyone reading is wondering what this discussion has to do with the readers of Sixty and Me, let me assure you that sexuality continues right on up the age scale, if you want it to.

Some people say that sex changes with age, but I do not recognise that view. Nor do various friends I have asked. And we are in our 80s.

There may be less swinging from chandeliers – if that was ever part of your repertoire; it never appealed to me – but sexual feelings and experiences have not changed for me.

And for the very skeptical, do read my article about my father, aged 90.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Why do you think there is this sudden interest in the female orgasm? What is your experience with it, and do you think it should be studied by universities? What do you think is the most important outcome from a pleasurable sexual experience?

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

Believe it or not, there’s no better place to discover your next skincare hero than on Amazon. The retailer carries a surplus of under-the-radar formulas that have the ability to transform your skin concerns without breaking the bank. Whether your regimen is in need of a hydrating face oil, a brightening eye cream or a wrinkle-correcting cream, you’re bound to find just what you need—and often on sale. Take the Kleem Organics Advanced Corrective Moisturizer; the top-seller is down to $27 right now ahead of Labor Day weekend.

The fast-acting cream has over 9,000 five-star ratings from Amazon shoppers for many reasons, one of which is how quickly it shows signs of improvement on aging skin. “‘I’m 66 [years old] and, though I’ve always looked younger than my years, my skin is lately belying that history,” wrote one fan. “I was expecting to wait three weeks before seeing any improvements, but I saw an improvement in texture overnight and I’m only using the cream, not the serum.”

Courtesy of Amazon

Its firming and lifting properties are credited to a handful of elasticity-boosting ingredients: retinol, hyaluronic acid and vitamin E. Altogether they stimulate collagen production on sagging, aging skin, and smooth over the appearance of deepening wrinkles. That’s not all—additional vitamins and antioxidants reduce the look of dullness, age spots, uneven skin tone and bumpy texture, leaving the complexion soft and glowing with every application, sans a sticky or greasy residue. 

Another compared its results to that of a miracle: “I now feel confident enough to go out in public without foundation. It has totally changed my skin, getting rid of the dark circles under my eyes and evening out the overall tone of my face. I’ve already noticed a change in the elasticity of my face and it visibly looks tighter, especially the little lines around my eyes,” they commented.

Even more have noticed additional benefits, such as faded acne scars, less dark circles around their eyes, and minimzed sun damage. One person even claimed they could ‘feel their skin tightening’ after every application.

“I’m 53 [years old] and have significant wrinkles and sun damage from baking in the sun in my teens and 20s,” shared another. “I started using the Kleem moisturizer together with the Kleem Vitamin C serum and Kleem eye cream and can’t believe my eyes two weeks later. My wrinkles literally look like their fading and my skin looks so much more even toned and healthy. I’m seriously blown away at how well this brand is working for me.

Don’t miss your chance to get the best-selling retinol cream while it’s on sale. While you’re at it, scoop up the brand’s additional hero products, including the above mentioned vitamin C serum and firming eye cream, both of which are down to $17 each.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

The powers of multipurpose beauty oils are truly unmatched—they can heal a variety of concerns, paving the way for less products needed in your storage cabinet. In fact, the benefits can be endless; from taming frizz to softening fine lines to erasing acne scars, a few drops a day can make a massive difference in the state of your skin and hair. And one hot seller on Amazon can conquer it all: the Ancient Greek Remedy Oil, which has over 24,000 perfect ratings from fans who say they “can’t live without it.”

No seriously, the reviews for the “wonder oil” are epic. As one fan put it, “it moisturizes but also clears blemishes quickly. I stopped using acne cream a year ago when I discovered it. I used to think putting oil on would make my face break out even more but it’s the opposite with this oil…It’s a must try oil and the price is great. Sometimes I think I need to buy 30 as I would die if they stopped making it.”

The bestseller is a blend of cold-pressed olive, organic sweet almond, grapeseed and vitamin E oils. Safe for all skin types, the serum is capable of clearing up dark spots, shrinking large pores, reducing stretch marks, and even acting as a hydrating body oil post-shower (or anytime you need it.) It’s also perfectly suitable to use across varying hair types and textures, per the brand, including fine, wavy and coily, whether it’s to smooth the strands post-style, revive damaged, brittle ends, or as as a soothing scalp treatment. 

Amazon

Ancient Greek Remedy Oil

“Having given up on getting any help from medical professionals I bought this bottle a few months ago and my skin has done a complete 180,” raved another shopper. “I can actually go without make up without feeling self-conscious. It’s evened my skin tone, taking down the reddish undertones and help me get rid of those stubborn dry spots one will get from living in the desert. I’ve never had a break out with it and you cannot beat the price.”

A third fan even found it provides effective results on their scalp psoriasis, writing “this product works wonders and leaves my scalp feeling and looking healthy. I put it on and leave the oils overnight and when I shampoo the next day, all the dryness is gone.”

It’s high tide you kept a bottle of this versatile oil in your home for any go-to needs. For just $15, you only stand to gain.

Lisa Barlow’s Black Sequin Crop Top on Her Instastories

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City 2022 Instagram Fashion

Lisa Barlow looked baby gorgeous in her black sequin crop top on her IG stories. It’s a simple concept of a crop top, but the sequins add such pizzazz that step up any ole ‘fit. Which is exactly why we all need to head down to the Style Stealers below and take a shot of tequila at getting one for ourselves.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her Celine Crop Top

Photo Credit: @lisabarlow14

Originally posted at: Lisa Barlow’s Black Sequin Crop Top

Normally, when you hear or say the phrase “to each his own” you are likely shrugging and recognizing that things can be different for different people. And it’s no big deal.

But when it applies to your financial power of attorney document, and I say “to each his own,” I am referring to the fact that each institution (bank, IRA custodian, investment company, etc.) can have their own hoops to jump through in order for you to authorize another person to make financial decisions on your accounts.

For example, the bank might require a copy of your financial power of attorney document, the IRA custodian might have their own form to be filled out instead, and the investment company might want both.

Plus, many places are now requiring a notarized statement in addition, if the financial power of attorney document is more than five years old.

You may be thinking, “Wait a minute, what? I thought I was done once I had my financial power of attorney document drafted and signed at the attorney’s office!”

It is true that you won’t need to provide financial power of attorney instructions unless they are needed, but do you know when that might (or might not) be? Best practice, as I’ve outlined in my book, is to get your financial agent authorization noted on each account – or at least on your main accounts – before it is ever needed.

The last thing your spouse or family member (aka financial agent) is going to want to hear when contacting the bank, IRA account, etc. on your behalf is “I’m sorry you’re not authorized to make any transactions. Please provide XYZ so we can get that request processed.”

Any delay during a time of crisis will only add more stress to an already stressful situation.

The Financial Power of Attorney Document

Your financial power of attorney document, often called a Durable General Power of Attorney, is your legal wishes in writing about who you authorize to make financial decisions for you when you are unable. It can be set up to be a springing or immediate power.

A springing power “springs” into action only upon incapacity (usually requiring documentation by physician(s)) whereas an immediate power is much broader as it authorizes financial power immediately, even if you’re not incapacitated.

Sometimes a springing power may be prudent when you are younger. Then you may want to update it to an immediate power as you get older and unexpected health events/accidents are more likely to occur and you want to avoid the physician documentation requirement.

The differences and recommendations are best discussed with your estate planning attorney as state laws can also differ as well as your circumstances and wishes.

It is important to clarify that financial powers are also spelled out in a trust document. So, if you have a trust in place AND you have re-titled your non-retirement accounts to be held in the name of the trust, then there is no need to supply the financial power of attorney as an additional document, since it is already clarified within the trust document itself.

This is one more reason to be sure you “fund your trust” (aka re-title your non-retirement assets to be held in the name of the trust) as we discussed in last month’s blog about estate planning homework.

If you do have a trust, you would still need the financial power of attorney to be noted on file for IRAs as well as life insurance and some annuities (if insurance/annuities are not held in the name of a trust).

Why Power of Attorney Documents Are So Crucial

Unfortunately, a local couple in their 40s just recently experienced why power of attorney documents are so crucial to have in place.

They met with an estate planning attorney to begin the process of getting their estate planning documents drafted. But before they could meet again to sign everything, the husband had a traumatic brain injury.

The wife was forced to go to court in order to be appointed her husband’s guardian (for health care purposes) and to also go through the intensive paperwork conservatorship process (for financial purposes).

Now, she has to give the court an annual accounting of what she did for health care throughout the year for her “ward” (i.e., husband), and she must petition the court for approval of financial transactions.

This all could have been prevented if the health care and financial powers of attorney documents had been signed.

Tips for Once Your Financial Power of Attorney Is Drafted

Once your financial power of attorney document is signed, consider the following steps:

• Give a copy to your financial agent and discuss your wishes.
• Consider checking with your main institutions to understand their requirements for getting a financial power of attorney on file for your accounts and then add that authorization before it is ever needed.
• Compile an outline of your estate planning documents showing at a glance who serves in what capacity (here is a free fill in the blank version).
• For out of town family, look at ways to compile your wishes/documents using resources like www.Everplans.com (a website I provide on a complementary basis to all of my clients).
• Put together what is fondly known as a “To Go” bag that you keep with you when you travel. I use an accordion file with a rubber band closure that I keep in my car, for example. It’s helpful to include a copy of your health care and financial powers of attorney, a list of medications/health conditions, a pad of paper/pen to take notes and an ICE (In Case of Emergency) list of people to contact (family, doctors, etc.).

Sometimes the topic of planning for the unexpected can feel morbid or overwhelming. But in my past 20 years of experience, we all usually come out ahead when we follow that old adage: plan for the worst and expect the best. You have to decide for yourself what you want to take action on… to each his own!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What experiences have you had with financial powers of attorney? Have you thought about the springing vs immediate options? What motivated you to get your estate planning documents drafted initially? Share your thoughts and questions.