Change can be daunting – and it can happen when we want it to or when we least expect it. But one thing that remains constant is that change is inevitable.

It can be difficult to accept change because it can force us outside of our comfort zone and make us uncomfortable. However, if we grab and embrace it, it can also be an opportunity for growth and a chance to embark on an exciting new journey.

So, if you’re struggling to navigate your way through a difficult transition, here are five tips that will hopefully help.

Keep an Open Mind

As you enter a new life chapter, it can be easy to spend a lot of time thinking about what might come next and trying to map it all out in your mind. And while some planning and preparation can be a helpful way to take steps towards your goals, it’s also a good idea to remain open-minded.

Often the way we think things will work out isn’t the way it ends up playing out – though this isn’t always a negative thing. In fact, some of the best things in life can happen when we least expect it! Try to go with the flow and remain open to new opportunities as they present themselves.

Take Some Time to Reflect

Change can offer us a fresh start, and you might like to think of this new chapter of your life as a blank canvas. You know how past chapters have looked, but you could make this one entirely different.

Perhaps you’ve always put others before yourself or you lost yourself in a long-term relationship, and now have the time and space to think about who you really are and what you want to get out of life. Or maybe you’ve always worn the same sort of clothes but want to reinvent yourself through style.

Even if you’re bored or unhappy, you can still get comfortable with your emotions and behaviours, and stop considering whether things could be any other way. So, ask yourself: what else is possible?

Focus on One Step at a Time

When we start a new job, end a long-term relationship, or go through any large transition, it can feel as though we’re at the bottom of a mountain, wondering how to start climbing. This is a completely normal part of adapting to change – though that doesn’t make it any less daunting.

Often, the most helpful thing you can do when it’s all getting too much is to focus on one step at a time. If you tell yourself that you just need to get through the next hour or day; concentrating only on the task at hand, you might surprise yourself at just how much you achieve and how capable you start to feel.

It can also be useful to break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable ones and to prioritise them in terms of importance. You can then tick them off as you go, which will hopefully give you a greater sense of accomplishment.

Make a List of Things You’d Like to Do in This New Life Chapter

If your previous life chapters haven’t really been about you and your needs, try to make sure that, in this one, you’re the star of the show. Think big and believe that no matter how outlandish your goals seem, the bigger you dream, the bigger your results will be.

A vision board can be a powerful tool that can help with this – as you can display images and quotes on a board in an arrangement of your choosing and put it somewhere where you can look at it daily.

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it sometimes isn’t long before our dreams end up falling by the wayside, and sometimes we just need a reminder of how our life could look if we take the steps to get there.

Picture a Positive Outcome

Visualisation is a tool used by many athletes to help them succeed and to put them in the right mindset before a race or an event. It’s believed that imagining the outcome you desire can help your mind and body learn and prepare for a situation before it happens – as well as allowing your brain to get a taste of what successfully completing this goal could feel like.

For example, if you imagine yourself going to a job interview and acing it, then this can help you to consider what that scenario looks like. Do you ace it because you’d read up on the company? Were dressed in an outfit that made you feel confident and powerful? Or because you’d prepared plenty of examples of how your skills and expertise are relevant to the job? Perhaps, you visualise all three! In which case, you can start taking steps to make these things happen.

Picturing a positive outcome can also help you feel calmer and more confident walking into situations and give you hope for the future.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

How do you embrace change? Have you been through any difficult transitions recently? Has an unexpected change led to a brighter future?

Kyle Richards’ Roller Skates

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 12 Episode 15 Fashion

Kyle Richards’ demonstrated some skills on her new roller skates that definitely impressed her daughters, along with the rest of us. Which all lead the Blondetourage to wonder just where she got the pretty rose gold, iridescent skates. Luckily they were easy to find. And while I’m not much of a skater, I’ll just be here waiting for Kyle to do the splits on hers.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Skates on Amazon

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Roller Skates

How can you go about daily life when you feel rejected, hurt, sad, angry, and you’re not yourself? The key to moving forward and getting out of stuck is to focus on your wellness.

The emotional stress of estrangement can take its toll on one’s mental and physical health. Certainly, you’re familiar with the personal upheaval of relationship challenges. The unfortunate fact of estrangement is the problem of when it will be resolved, resulting in uncertainty.

State of Uncertainty

More to the point, the average physical and emotional distance length is almost five years. Research reports that the estrangement is a threat to wellness that results from the open-ended status of the relationship.

Kylie Agllias, the author of Family Estrangement A Matter of Perspective, discussesthe unique dilemma of ambiguous loss. When someone close to us dies, we grieve and then accept that they are no longer with us. With estrangement, the loss is confusing because the estranged is physically absent but still psychologically present. What is more, the opposing conflicting situation coexists with whether they will or will not return to bond again.

Because of my personal history of cutting off my sister and now being estranged by one of my adult children, I am keenly interested in understanding how to cope. I’ve struggled with grief, shame, and more. Out of necessity and stubbornness, I choose to move forward.

Some days are more complicated, but I keep moving, if only one inch at a time. What grounds me the most is knowing there is more to my life than just the temporary relationship in limbo. When I fear what worries me the most, I have a serious chat with myself and push myself to do what is best for me.

Three Keys to Go from Stressed to Wellness

Daily Routine

I encourage my clients to commit to a daily routine because of its many benefits. We know from research that engaging in just a few things daily will lessen anxiety, improve sleep, improve focus, improve feelings of self-confidence, and better self-care. When we accomplish our small goal of going for a morning walk or meditating, it reinforces more forward, positive movement.

On the contrary, amid a deluge of emotions, it is common not to feel like doing anything good for you. However, this is the time to dig your heels into the notion that you are committed to self-care and do it anyway. On challenging days, I throw my workout clothes on, do yoga or go for a walk.

Daily routines revolve around what suits you best. If you’re not into yoga, find an alternative form of movement. You can also write in a journal and dump your feelings or write down your hopes and fears. Other options include meditation, prayer, preparing your healthy meals for the day, breathing exercises, and phone conversations with those who love and value you.

The ultimate daily routine is gratitude practice. We are commonly thankful for people and grateful for things and events. Gratitude helps relieve stress and anxiety by focusing your thoughts on what’s positive in your life.

Studies on the effects of gratitude practice show that those who partake experience increased self-esteem, better physical health, lower blood pressure, improved empathy and awareness of others’ feelings, improved sleep. Gratitude also helps lower feelings of aggression.

Get Support

Estrangement is a challenging road to travel, especially alone. Guilt and shame can keep us in a negative rabbit hole of strong feelings we cannot quickly or easily climb out of. You may be reticent about sharing since you feel like an outcast.

Most people do not share their experiences due to feelings of shame. Having support, like a therapist or relationship coach, can help you navigate your way towards your goals. You may want to reconcile and be anxious about where to start. Therapy can assist you in managing anxiety.

Talking to a professional will provide a safe place to ventilate in a non-judgmental atmosphere. You will have someone in your corner who can assist you in moving forward. Boundaries and communication skills are commonly learned in a therapeutic relationship. More importantly, you will discover that life goes on despite your estrangement.

Staying in contact with people who love and value you is vital. Studies tell us that socially connected people have the most positive health outcomes as they age. During stressful events such as estrangement, we tend to isolate ourselves and see our loved ones less. Resist the temptation and do your very best to remain connected. Additionally, there are numerous online groups on Facebook that offer support and comfort.

Be Self-Compassionate

Self-compassion is the act of being accepting, forgiving, and kind to yourself. Being compassionate is the practice of yielding to positive aspects as opposed to critical or incriminating thoughts. In essence, it is capturing troublesome thoughts about yourself and intentionally replacing them with nurturing ones.

Dr. Kristen Neff, a compassion researcher, states, “Self-kindness is about showing kindness and understanding toward ourselves when we fail at something, or when we are hurt.” Imagine if we committed to treating ourselves as we would our dearest friend!

The people I speak with in my therapy and coaching practice describe feeling angry and shifting into guilt and shame. The complicated nature of estrangement, the potential for family members to take sides, and the witnessing of others’ shocking and mean behaviors can be overwhelming. Feelings are assaulted as well as our nervous system.

Our fight or flight system is on high alert when we are under the stress of estrangement. We are postured for threats and less likely to be calm enough to think clearly. For this reason, self-compassion is the foundation for treating ourselves with loving kindness and heal. Compassion allows for wanting the best for ourselves and how healing flows.

Why You Want to Do Self Care: 4 Threats to Wellness and Happiness

Dr. Karl Pillemer, in his book Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, discusses the four threats to wellness and happiness. Understanding how estrangement affects your physical and mental health will hopefully motivate you to step into a daily routine, get support, and practice self-compassion.

Chronic Stress

Estrangement impacts one’s physical, relational, and emotional well-being. The unpredictability of resolution and any desired outcome can cause intense stress. When estrangement lingers, there can be ruminating thoughts and an expectation of a worst-case scenario outcome. Is it any wonder that being estranged can bring lowered immune system responses with feelings of helplessness and depression?

Pain of Rejection

According to Pillemer, losses involving social rejection have incredibly damaging effects. Being rejected goes against the human need to belong and be included. Rejection from a loved one can harm one’s sense of self and renders one in an arena they cannot control.

Broken Attachment

It is immensely painful when family bonds are broken. A family is a place where one ought to have comfort and respite. When children’s emotional and biological needs for secure attachment do not occur, they become anxious. They are unsure and unsafe in a world they cannot navigate alone.

The bond of family, where others are there for you, accept you as you are, and love you despite your flaws, is coveted. Children bloom when they are securely attached. They can rely on someone. Adults, fortunate enough to have had secure attachments, naturally thrive with a strong sense of belonging. Despite the pain of broken attachments, the estranged may feel compelled to reconcile with family members.

The Perils of Uncertainty

The state of estrangement, differing from loss when there is death, leads to ambiguous loss. Especially if there is occasional contact, one has been cut off from emotional connection with their estranged family member. There is this limbo state of not knowing when or if there will be a reconnection. Uncertainty is uncomfortable in all circumstances; when you are estranged, the anxiety can be heartbreaking.

Estrangement and Abuse

The worst of estrangement is abuse and its damaging long-term effects. For those who endured abusive and toxic behaviors, the decision to cut off is one of self-preservation.

My hope is this article has encouraged you to commit to self-care. We can decide to have purpose and hope and live despite our estranged condition. Whatever you are feeling today, you can move forward. Your life will be different, but it is your life to enjoy. The key to moving forward and getting out of stuck is to focus on your wellness.

What have you been doing to cope with estrangement? Which daily practice can you add to your daily routine? Are you supported by a friend or group?

Exploring our sexuality after 60 is not a joke. Society may laugh at the idea of people over 60 being sexual, but we are. We may not be the same as we were when we were younger, but we still have emotions and desires. After all, we are human.

Many women over 60 are sexually active, and there are many who would like to be. Because of the negative stigma associated with sex for seniors, they suppress their desires. This is to avoid the judgement of others.

These “others” are probably much younger. They don’t want to think about anyone older than them, especially their parents or grand-parents, having sex. Remember when we were teens and the idea of our parents ‘doing it’ was just awful! It was creepy and something we quickly put out of our thoughts.

Things are changing. We may be getting older, but we’re getting better. We’re healthier, more active, and more involved in society than previous older generations. We are aware of our bodies, and most of us do what we can to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Sexuality isn’t taboo for older people like it used to be.

Grace and Frankie Normalize Sex After 60

The terrific Netflix show Grace and Frankie focuses on senior sexuality. The storyline, as you probably know, centers on the importance of accepting our sexuality, whether gay or straight, before it’s too late. The episodes explore sexual pleasure and same-sex relationships. It also talks about making ‘lube’ for older women and selling personal massagers. This innovative and provocative series has opened up sexual doors for boomers. It’s giving us the green light to explore and acknowledge our sexuality.

Here are 7 reasons why we need to explore and acknowledge our sexuality over 60:

Exploring Our Sexuality After 60 Is Natural

We are sexual beings, nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It doesn’t matter that we’re older, and it’s okay that our sex drive is changing. To ignore it just isn’t healthy, mentally or physically. It helps us to deal with uncertainty in life.

It’s Time to Be Honest with Ourselves

We need to ask ourselves what we like, want and desire from a sexual perspective. Maybe we don’t care. Perhaps the last thing we want is sexual activity. But maybe we’d like to be aroused, or have sexual fantasies.

Some single women may have decided that the sexual part of their lives is over. But it’s okay to have desires and fantasies, even when you’re single. Being honest with ourselves is important as it gives us strength and improves our self-awareness.

Being Sexually Aware of our Body Feels Good

Put your favourite outfit on and look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Does it make you happy? Do you feel like you can turn heads? It feels good to think about our sensuality, our passions and our desires. Our thoughts can be enjoyed in the privacy of our minds, without any negativity or interference from others.

It’s an Easy Way to Improve Our Lives

When we are aware of our sexuality we can explore how to satisfy our desires. There are many ways to feel sexy, desirable and satisfied. We can begin to date casually, date younger men, explore gay or lesbian relationships or get a personal massager. We can even search out erotica in the form of books and movies.

You may even want to ‘wake up’ your partner to once again enjoy sexual activity. Knowing what you desire, helps you improve your life.

Sex Is a Great Way to Relax!

It’s well known that sexual activity is wonderful for stress relief. Even when we’re alone, we can daydream to satisfy our desires. Self-stimulation is also a super way to relax and achieve sexual satisfaction, especially when a partner is not available. We may find we’re sleeping better, feel more refreshed during the day, and are better at handling life’s ups and downs.

Why Not?

What’s holding you back? Sexual exploration can be private, discrete and extremely personal. You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to. You may find you’re smiling a lot, feeling happy more often, and there may even be a swing in your step and a twinkle in your eyes.

Senior sex is here to stay. It is growing more and more popular as seniors embrace their sexuality. Grace and Frankie are empowering older women and men to be honest about their sexuality and desires.

Bravo to Jane (Fonda) and Lily (Tomlin) for their excellent portrayal of strong, independent and sexy women. We need to listen to this message and embrace our bodies without embarrassment, without humiliation, but with pride.

Do you feel better and less stressed when you embrace your sexuality? Have you watched the Netflix show Grace and Frankie? Do you think that it’s important for all of us to explore our sexuality after 60? Please join the conversation.

I’ve been a beauty editor for more than a decade so I generally know what brands are Black-owned and which ones aren’t even if they cater to the Black community. But even I need a reminder while shopping. Target’s Black-owned brand badge came just in time. While we’re all making an effort to shop more from this community, Target is helping make it a little easier. It’s not perfect (I have some issues with this badge and I’ll explain) but it’s a great step in the right direction.

You might not even realize Target has many Black-owned beauty brands. The retailer has been doing a great job investing in textured haircare, vibrant beauty products and clean skin care from both new and established Black founders. Because don’t forget. According to the Washington Post, only 1 percent of venture capital dollars went to Black start-up founders in 2018. It’s that much harder for people of color and women to get funding and start a company.

This new online badge will help you be able to find these brands but like I said, it’s not perfect. Here’s what it looks like on our favorite, The Lip Bar. It’s right where you’re used to seeing the Clean and Vegan tags.

Image: Target.

The badge says “Black Owned or Founded Brand.” That means, brands here might not be owned by Black people anymore and that’s something to keep in mind. If you want to support a Black-owned company, do a little extra research. Brands such as Shea Moisture were bought by huge corporations like Unilever (in the case of Shea Moisture) and that’s who you’re giving your money to. These brands are still great and there’s nothing wrong with shopping them. But it helps to know exactly where your money is going.

Check out our list of some of our favorite Black-owned Target brands here. Go shop away!

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.